Lurker > MrMallard

TetsuoS2 posted...

What kind of pressure do you put on your controllers lol. How do you go from pressing down on a stick to bleeding nipples.

It's not how hard you rub, but for how long. I've never had bleeding nipples, but don't joggers have to pad their chests so their nipples don't run raw and start bleeding?

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

...the analogue sticks are connected to your nipples.

The controller works with every video game console that has exer existed and will ever exist, it's repellent to gamer gunk, and none of the buttons or features of the controller ever break down. Special mention goes to the joysticks - the texture on the top of them never degrades, and the sticks themselves never drift. It is, for all intents and purposes, the perfect controller.

But whenever you touch the sticks, an equivalent pressure presses down on your nipples. If you pull the left stick down, your left nipple gets rubbed downways. If you click the right stick, your right nipple will get pressed into your body.

It's like a Picture of Dorian Grey sort of dealie - the joysticks will never break down or degrade, but the more you use the controller, the more chafed and sore your nipples become. This means no more long gaming sessions - if you sit in bed and play games all day, you're gonna need a lot of Kleenex, some bandages and some salve.

Lube works to stop nipple chafe, but only lube and it gets sucked into your shirt like any other liquids. This has the disadvantage of taking your mind off the game if you play too vigorously, and if you're already injured from unlubricated nipple-rubbing those injuries are going to carry over. You can't prevent the nipple rubbing with chest coverings of any kind, whether it be tape, bandages, cling wrap or pasties; the force will manifest directly on the nipple at all times.

Otherwise, everything about this controller is indestructible. You could drop it into the heart of the sun for a million years and retrieve it and it would be in just as good shape as when you left it. It never ages, it never breaks down. It's perfect for games like Final Fantasy X where you don't really need to use the joysticks. But every time you touch those joysticks - even if you brush the side while you're reaching for another button - an equivalent sensation is administered to your nipples.

No-one else can affect your nipples, if they use the controller the nipple connection applies to them or then only. If two people use the same controller at the same time, whoever touches whichever stick will get the nipple sensation.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

My nan has these three salads that I absolutely adore, and all of them are vegan.

Red Salad: sauerkraut, diced onion, diced pickle, baked beans and diced beetroot.

Tomato Salad: tomato, onion, salt, canola oil.

Potato Salad: potatoes, parsley, salt and vinegar. Probably canola oil as well.

Tomato salad doesn't get you very far, but you can make the other two in bulk. Grow your own parsley, and you can live on potato salad as a staple food.

I know potato salad exists and is popular, but it's always that creamy shit with the mayo and egg and all that. I prefer tart vinegary food over creamy dairy-based food.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Bump

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Ehh. She's attractive, but in that detached, generic-hot-person way.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Smackems posted...

It's hell on collectors like me dude

Anyway i got my Wii u and had to update it...

Jesus FUCK what was Nintendo THINKING with this piece of shit

I love it

The Wii U is basically the awkward teen puberty phase of Nintendo's recent consoles. The Wii grew up into the Switch, but the Wii U is basically the Wii at a point of its life where it's experimenting with weed, browsing weird porn and jerking off into a sock.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Hope you like it TC!

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Yeah, no. It'd be weird because she rose to prominence as a child, and I'll probably still see her as a child for years. There are youtubers who are like 3 years younger than me and I'm like "that's a whole-ass child", despite them being like 22.

That being said, post #2 is also 100% correct in saying she looks like a child. So the answer to your question is a strong, ubiquitous no on all fronts.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Thaumaturge posted...

A copy of the game is $90 now.

haha, oof

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

You could always pick up a cheap DS Lite and a copy of the game. Or you could find other ways of playing the game on hardware with buttons/controller support.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

ToadallyAwesome posted...

I really liked it back in the day. Really made me a Metroid Fan

Yeah, it was my first (and only) legit Metroid experience. I could never get into Super, not even on Nintendo Switch Online. Got kinda far in Fusion but I never finished it. Zero Mission is superb.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

That's a reasonable request.

Imagine being haunted by videos of your daughter getting her cooter smashed by massive cocks for years after her death. If it brings the family peace, then by all means their request should be honored.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Logging in regards to paper production, and paper production based on wood pulp, is banned worldwide for a year. Brand new paper is rationed out to all of the institutions who need the most pristine paper, and once all of that is gone, everyone on earth needs to use recycled paper.

The most plentiful source of paper is, naturally, books. So people begin to round up old books for the sake of pulping them and turning them into usable paper for the masses.

The question I want to pose is this:

What books do you think would be selected to get pulped first, and if you were in charge of the pulping, what books would you target first? Whether it be for the volume of paper or the contents of the book is up to you.

Personally, I'd prioritise athlete autobiographies. The great athletes can stay, your GOATs like Usain Bolt and Grant Hackett and Mike Tyson etc. But who the fuck is reading about Tim Tebow? Who's going to read some hack schlock by some third-rate athlete from the 80's and a ghostwriter talking about the game back then and how it's changed, and offering advice to the next generation of athletes as if it means anything?

Again, not GOATs - just random-ass athletes who are b-list or lower, taking up valuable paper on a book with no marketable value and arguably no valuable insight fuelled by its lack of appeal.

I'd probably go after extraneous cricket biographies and NRL books first, with emphasis on athletes with more than one autobiography to their name. Not that I would wipe them all out - moreso that I think out of all the books littering donation bins and the like, these are the books that would be plentiful enough to be a reasonably efficient source of recycled paper. Danielle Steel and Clive Cussler novels are next on that list.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

ArianaGrandSlam posted...

Other M is set in between Fusion and Super. But it also doesnt matter because its shit.

the Prime games are all between 1 and 2 if I remember right

Thanks for setting me straight. I guess I was thinking of the Academy flashbacks.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Choco posted...

idk anything about metroid lol

It's the fifth game in the series chronologically.

Metroid was the first one, Metroid 2 was the second one, Super Metroid was the third one and Fusion was the fourth one. The Prime games are prequels, or interquels or something, idk because I haven't played them. Other M is set before the first one or whatever.

Basically, Metroid Dread is a "core" game that advances the canon, whereas every non-numbered game (all of the Primes, Hunters, Other M, Federation Force, Pinball) takes place either before Metroid 1 or between the numbered titles. As Dread takes place after Fusion, and is the first true sequel to the franchise in nearly 20 years, it is Metroid 5.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

there's a Tumblr post about an artist drawing a big ass for their oc, but their oc's name is Yousa so the post goes "me giving yousa the best ass I can". So naturally people comment on how it sounds like Jar Jar trying to fuck good.

Anyway I saw one of these on Ashens recently. It genuinely might be one of the most disturbing treats I've ever seen.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

I didn't, my immediate family is pretty distant. If I have a family of my own some day, I'm going to be the first person to say "I love you".

I want the people I love to know that they're loved, instead of emotions feeling off-limits or uncomfortable to express.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Car nuts have brands that they prefer. Some people prefer Holden, some prefer Ford, some prefer Mercedes, some prefer BMW. Some people prefer Hyundai and some prefer Subaru.

How are Tesla stans any worse than that?

If Tesla's gonna be around as a brand, people are going to champion their cars and tout the features of the brand that resonate with them. We've had this conversation before - in Australia, I think we had moments where we debated whether foreign cars should be able to drive the Bathurst 500. Had we stuck to Holden and Ford as the two big Australian brands, we wouldn't have some of the incredible speed records that were set in the Bathurst 500. Racing wouldn't have evolved in the same way, there wouldn't be the same meta that led to a golden age of Australian V8 racing.

I think Elon slurpers are easily led astray by dipshit charlatans and I don't like them, but I think as we accept Tesla's longetivity as a brand, it's only natural that Tesla will enter the broader car conversation and that people will debate the merits of Tesla cars over other brands. Just like every car brand before them.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

IronWolf87 posted...

What a cowardly article. Birds ARE racist AF and it's about time we addressed it. I once had a blue jay fly up to me and whisper in my ear "Go back to Ireland ya god damn Mick!" And don't even get me started on the shit humming birds talk about.

fucking lol

But yeah, as that article snippet shows, there's a lot of traumatic, racist history tied to the naming of birds. Just because you don't value the topic, doesn't make it ineligible for discussion or without merit.

"These birds were named after great men who did great things!" yeah, and some of those great men were incredibly cruel and racist, even for their time. Imagine being an Indian dude who's really into a bird like the furrowed drakehawk or something, and learning it's named after some guy named Edgar L. Furrows, a man who was notorious for beating and raping his Indian servants in the British Raj, but who really liked hawks.

We don't have to imagine worst case scenarios like that, because as that article snippet shows, there are birds whose name stems from cruel, racist figures - like a man who bought a girl in Africa and would draw her being brutally murdered. What good did that man do that offsets the deeply disturbing nature of his racism? Is there a point where we should go "yeah this guy owned indigenous and African slaves and we have records of cruel and violent acts committed against them, but he funded ornithological studies into finches so he gets his own finch, his importance to birds supercedes the documented violence he committed against his slaves and the legacy of his estate which is still horrifically racist"? Should people not be disgusted by the history and legacy of that man, and how his legacy is perpetuated through his ornithological presence?

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

BilalPowell posted...

I'd rather be called a gypsy than Romani. People would think you're from Rome or Romania.

Unless you're Romani yourself, this means nothing.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Fanfiction. Specifically, FemShep/Traynor fanfiction or FemShep/Tali fanfiction.

Mass Effect is an old enough franchise to have a reasonable amount of content on both fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.org

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

NeonOctopus posted...

Does he actually do it from kindness or is he the type to make it all about him, where it's like "hey, film ME giving some of MY money to this poor family. Aren't I a good person? Now like comment and subscribe!" Cuz that kind of shit drives me up a creek >_>

I used to be subjected to videos from my friend, he'd do stuff like offer his posse 5 grand on the spot, in cash, to do something silly or demeaning. Like they'd be filling an inflatable swimming pool with Faberge eggs or kit kats or something and he'd be like "hey I'll give you $5,000 if you break that lamp", and he'd just record and laugh while his friend broke a lamp for $5,000 cash.

He also did one of those "last person with their hand on the car wins it" challenges with his posse. I always felt grossed out because he's basically throwing his money around to influence his friends for content.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Jesus, no. He already dodged a bullet by getting flagged on the Smash boards, don't lure him back via CE.

We're not as toxic as the Smash board, but I still think he'd be better off going somewhere that's less toxic and more reasonably moderated.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

From his other posts, he seems like he's being genuine at least and not doing the same concern troll dogshit that Tails and his ilk like to do.

Another user explained that the smash board tends to crack down on suspicious accounts, joke posters or like trolls or whatever, and whether it's because he's a kid or English isn't his first language, his posts probably didn't pass the smell test for the mods of that board.

When the same user suggested making another account, Hotthorns said something like "no GameFAQs is toxic and I hate it, I'm not making another account". Honestly, I don't blame him - especially since his first experience with the community was on the fucking Smash Bros board.

The downvoting thing is silly, but I feel like maybe he got dogpiled or something and he defaulted to "downvoting" because that's what he knows. Either way, this user is a much more sympathetic character than I was expecting.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

teep_ posted...

I've not played a single LiS game yet

They're on Steam, right? Might get the remaster

ooh, I hope you like it. I hope you like chill indie music too, because the first game is loaded with some very good indie music.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

I feel like the protagonist is as androgynous as they are because you'll be able to pick between being a male or a female character.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

WheezinEd posted...

People who still have Christian views in 2021 should be dragged out in the street and punished old testament style. We need to have the same zero tolerance policy towards these people that they had to us for thousands of years.

No-one's biting, Slim

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

No sympathy for bullies. You can go "but it's hard for them! It'll make more work for others!" and all that shit, but I'm sick of seeing the victimised bully narrative being used to justify no action being done.

If they didn't want to face the consequences of their actions, they shouldn't have attacked a kid and taken something important from them. Whether they were suspended or expelled in the end, I think it's a good precedent to actually punish these little shits instead of shrugging your shoulders and going "but maybe they had a hard life, what if they never recover from this?" after they went after another kid with no provokation.

The only way to justify this is to say that wearing a pride flag provoked these kids to attack the victim, which is unambiguously a failing on the part of the students and worthy of punishment.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Does this mean Link is a knight of the wind?
https://youtu.be/pNB4Cy4mftI

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Breath of the Wind

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Perfect thread to pop bottles in

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Damn_Underscore posted...

It's a more interactive version of visual novel.

It's not like like the Telltale games where you often have no idea what to do and there is only one correct way to do things

Life is Strange has puzzles and stuff, the hell are you talking about?

You use your powers in the first game to solve puzzles that require you to rewind time. Progression is blocked until you figure out what to do.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Like if they have the battle system of FF7R, but with melee and like heavy/brutal attacks. It looked so gritty and weighty in the reveal trailer.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Axiom posted...

I just came into laugh at you like usual and got greeted by the longest single post I have ever seen on gamefaqs. You sir have problems

Hoo boy, you haven't clicked on one of my threads then lol

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

dude's gonna start looking like Prince Philip in 5 years time

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

Lordgold666 posted...

Lol @ wanting romance options in a video game

I ask because the previous game had them, and as someone who played the previous game I was wondering if you could rekindle some of the relationships you could get into.

A large part of any Persona game is building up relationships, both platonic and romantic - this might be a more action-oriented sequel/spinoff, but the presentation that defined Persona 5 is still there, so I thought some of the social link stuff might have returned for your party.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

monkmith posted...

oh, we blaming all the wind turbines again?

"what if the wind blows the other way and sucks power out of the energy grid?!"

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

BilalPowell posted...

Politicians have employers?

The YouTuber/journalist FriendlyJordies, the person narrating this video, employs Kristo. He has a small team who helps him film, fields his calls and engage in hijinx with him.

The politician is suing Kristo's employer. Sorry for the confusion.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

R1masher posted...

Theyre not the police

They came to his house, arrested him, kept him detained at a police station for the maximum amount of time they could without pressing charges and eventually let him off on bail.

The actual uniformed police, according to Kristo, were actually decent to him. They had to sit around with their thumbs up their ass on a Friday night before letting him go.

Why was an anti-terrorism squad called on a small-time journalist for what one of the most powerful men in the country calls "harassment"? No threats or physical violence mind you - especially in the second incident, where Kristo happened to run into the Deputy Premier on his way back from class at university and tried to hand him a legal document that the Deputy Premier had messed up.

Why did the person who filed a police report in regards to one of these incidents, almost certainly the Deputy Premier himself, lie or otherwise exaggerate claims in a police report that preceded this arrest?

How was this terror-related?

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

...trying to give a politician, who was suing his employer, an incorrect legal document for him to correct after running into him in the wild.

https://youtu.be/OXtq4a8829g

FriendlyJordies takes the piss, sure, but watching the arrest of his employee Kristo by armed plain-clothes officers, who bowl his 50 year old mother over to get Kristo's phone and pull him into an unmarked police car, is beyond disproportionate.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

I looked him up to make sure he didn't get divorced or anything, and not only has he been married since gay marriage became legalised, he's been in a relationship with his husband since the 1980s.

Made me a bit teary tbh. May we all have the kind of love that DHP and his husband have for each other.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

How about air fryers

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

David Hyde Pierce is a king. I'm glad he's been able to come out of the closet and live a happily married life for the past 12 years.

He was one of the best parts of that show, his romantic subplot with Daphne was one of the best romantic subplots in sitcom history, and he was fantastic in the scant handful of prominent roles he got post-Frasier. In this house, we only stan one king - and that king is David Hyde Pierce.

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu

It already is if you know where to look

---

If I don't want to put my dick in them then it's bad character design. You can quote me on that. - Gurifisu