Lurker > Cellfix

Bugmeat posted...

I believe it was the night I was sitting by the railroad tracks, waiting for a train to come and reminding myself of all my flaws, how worthless and useless I was and that everyone really would be better off without me. The train never came, I went home and got over it. Now I'm happier than I have ever been.

Glad it worked out.. I'm sure the world is a better place with you in it.

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

IronBornCorps posted...

Now that's some non toxic masculinity!

Seriously though, my condolences to you both.

Again, thank you..

Also, I have an update. The last time I cried was reading Cell's last post.

Heh ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Muscles posted...

@Cellfix you have my condolences. My dad died last November so I was there not too long ago. If you need to talk about it you can dm me bro

Thank you.. I might take you up on it..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

I am one that definitely believes that crying is good for you..
And I think it's no less manly to show emotions..

..but everyone else was crying, so I felt I had to just hold it all in and be strong for them so that they could let it all out and cry..

..I'm gonna lower his ashes into the family grave in a week or two myself, and I'll probably break down while doing that..

Though when I sat with his corpse a week earlier and held his cold hand I constantly cried for like 25-30 min...

..that image of my father is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

wwinterj25 posted...

I'm sorry to hear this.

Thank you..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

IronBornCorps posted...

@Cellfix I'm sorry for your lost.

Thank you..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

DirtBasedSoap posted...

Im sorry for your loss, brother

Thanks man..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Friday the 4th of December this month..

..my father had just died..

I held a speech at my father's funeral, played the song I had picked out as my good bye song for him, Aerith's Theme Piano Version (I know, silly right?) and I carried the casket..

...the weird thing is.. I almost didn't cry..

But I did.. on the inside and on the outside a little, though I was holding it all in..

I felt like I had to be strong for the rest of the family by delivering this speech without cracking up once..

...so yeah, I cried on Friday the 4th, you just couldn't see it...

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

DreamWeb from 1994 (the UK version had a sex scene and full frontal pixel male nudity back in the day)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DreamWeb

...and it's freeware now as well..

https://www.scummvm.org/games/#games-dreamweb

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Zeus posted...

I'm not sure what circumstances prevent you (given the absurd array of options nowadays), but if you were that interested, I'm sure you could adopt.

It's not that I physicaly can't have a child.. but because I have most of the same mental issues that my dad has, I have therefore refused to let my child experience what I did growing up with someone like that.. because when I become ill, I become really ill and the last thing I want in a child is that she is afraid of her father, even though it's not my fault I was born this way and that there is nothing I can do about it...

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

I've already been married to the same girl for the past 16 years, so that's checked of the list..
I've aquired a pretty big gaming collection with a lot of retro games, both rare and/or pricey..
I've been playing/singing in a rock and metal band for the last 4 years, performing small concerts, the biggest one was in front of a little over 400 people..

But the one thing that I can never have really hurts..
I can never have a child..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Leonard Nimoy
and
Ken Hensley...

Ken was in Uriah Heep, one of the bands that heavily inspired me to pursue music and singing in my spare time..
I was lucky enough to meet him in Spain many years ago when I was younger.. he was amazed that there were young people that listened to kind of music.. he gave me a press photo and signed it with a personal message..
I'll never forget that moment..
He died this month on the 4th...

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

I don't have any..

but I still read a lot of topics here and make a mental note of usernames and responses..

So I have my own list of friendly "faces"..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Bruce Campbell

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Norway, a small costal town called Krager..

I dunno.. I don't think I'm allowed into the USA XP

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Thanks DeltaBladeX!

The wife is having a good time with Scribblenauts Unlimited right now (and it helps delay my household chores) ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

DeltaBladeX posted...

@Cellfix You nominated what you wanted to see, you can now enter the giveaways

Ah, I see! Well, here are my new ones friendo!

1. Dragon Fantasy: The Volumes of Westeria

2. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

3. This War of Mine

4. Grim Fandango Remastered

5. Scribblenauts Unlimited

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Haven't I given my votes for these games already? I dont see my name on that list XP

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Ema Nymton

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

wwinterj25 posted...

Anyone commenting actually have bipolar?

Bipolar Type 2 here..

HornedLion posted...

Does being bipolar cause you to see yourself doing something but unable to stop...

In my case this is true..
It's like looking out of a glass window inside yourself and banging on it when your body says things to others that you really don't want to say..

The "fun" parts are when bipolar combined with the other diagnoses piles me up with stress and I finally have a psychosis and/or a complete blackout with memory loss..

I had one yesterday :
I was up late, testing out some old games I got for my 16th wedding anniversity (Super R-Type, R-Type 3, Holy Diver and Metal Storm).. and I started playing Metal Storm, decided I was gonna beat it (and I did), and then was gonna do a quick playthrough of Probotector 2 (Super C) before going to sleep..

...and suddenly I wake up in bed, with no memory of what happened..
Apperantly accordind to my wife, I was up all night waaaay into the morning playing nes games and recording my playthroughs with commentary XP
When she came upstairs to see what all the noise was she said I was all "ssshhhhh I'm streaming! We're gonna make lots of money this way"
And then she told me that a couple of hours later I ran down the stars, threw up, went back up the stairs and finally succumbed to fatigue and fell asleep in the chair while I was playing Shadowgate, she put a blanket over me, turned everything off and she went back to bed..

I don't know when I went downstairs to bed, but when I woke up I knew right away that I've had another episode..
Only this time my wife thought I was pretty funny..

I found several hours of videorecordings of me playing and commenting and it was horrible to watch and listen to, irradical and slurred speech, awful gameplay..
I deleted all the videos, because I don't want to see myself like that..

I love being Bipolar ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

I remember this beauty ^_^



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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

1. Shadowgate

2. Probotector II: Return of the Evil Forces (aka Super C)

3. Vice: Project Doom

My speed run record for beating Shadowgate is about 21 min.. not even close to the pros, but fun anyway ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Rune Classic

Dragon Fantasy: The Volumes of Westeria

Grim Fandango Remastered

This War of Mine

Toybox Turbos

Mighty nice of you ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

My education consists of handling heavy machinery (like bulldozers, excavators etc), then switched over to becoming a hairdresser/stylist/makeup artist for women, and then because of several medical conditions I don't have to work any more for the rest of my life..

So instead I take care of the house (when my health allows it), care for our guinea pigs and sing/play for free in a band..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Are we talking "the" Jenna Jameson here? Ex-pornstar? And she was shot in the face?? Killed??

I can seem to find anything about this..

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Aaaand here's another post to get this moving on nicely........

...Uggh....

I just squashed a tiny fly with my thumb that was crawling across the screen right now X(

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

"Am I a garbage human for liking this game?"

Why would you be a garbage human for liking something? It's a game that you like and it it shouldn't matter to you what others think of you for enjoying it..

You be you ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Yaaaay I'm helping XD

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Hi there!

We, or I should say everyone else than me usually post about everything from tea to how to tie shoelaces.
From music to how much money is okay to lend to your parents.
From retro games to modern games.

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

MrMelodramatic posted...

Im very afraid that I wont find a job after graduation

Don't be, I'm sure things will work out just fine..

Remember : "Goonies never say die!!"

^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

I just started (and finished) Super Metroid for the 'umfth' time in one evening two weeks ago when I was up in the mountains.. played it from memory as usual and got 96% of all items..

That game is in my Top 5 favourite games of all time ^_^

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

Aaawh yes, the last year of school.. I couldn't wait to be done with it and start my life..

...and as soon as school was over and I started working my ass off I realised that school was a vacation and real life was hell (except for partying and girls and living on my own)...

But hey! I guess that's just me..
I miss school when I visit certain special schools that educate you specificly in for example "rock and metal", or video game design or e-sport education.. but the few times I'm there, because I'm invited by the musicans to see a concert they're playing, I always feel like an old fart ^_^

Anyway, good luck people!

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!

https://youtu.be/hmoHDfXcm_M

Sorry, I just couldn't help myself XD

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Party on dudes and be excellent to each other!