Lurker > maoriwarrior

Fuck this is just god damn horrible. Im so sick.

DeathDeathSong posted...

damn tc gonna be a deadbeat dad just abandoning his unborn kid? holy shit

Ill never abandon him if its mine. Ever.

WallStreetWolf posted...

Wait a minute, after reading everything this is just kind of sad and you should have dumped her a long time ago

yeah

IfGodCouldDie posted...

But it is done? You are no longer together?

I told her I couldnt do it anymore so yeah

IfGodCouldDie posted...

What happened?

it was 45mins of me trying to get her to calm down. Her saying shes not gonna make it, etc. pretty traumatic.

SpacialEntropy posted...

For the love of fuck tell us you broke up with her...

thats why I called her

Well the phone call went horrible so that figures.

God the pain is real. Its hit me like a truck.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

This is messy >_>. Advice was for a year ago. Now you're kind of just in the shit. How much would you be ok with being in the kids life if ya'll weren't together?

I genuinely think thats my only option

Bump for more opinions

does anyone think its too harsh to do it over the phone? Is that a bad idea?

IronWolf87 posted...

Assuming this isn't a troll post and I hope to God that it is. Yes, she's done with you. She's fucking her ex and is stringing you along so that when the kid's born you sign the birth certificate and are on the hook for child care payments. Talk to a lawyer right the fuck now, demand a paternity test and until it is proven 100 percent the kid is yours act like it is not.

my life would be so much better if it is a troll post. Trust me on that.

The Trent posted...

Dude if this is real you need to talk to her about this shit be ause you're about to be a dad in a month

its 100% real.

ive already expressed each of these concerns. I literally balled my face off three days ago telling her that I miss holding her, watching tv and movies with her, etc. then two or three days later she drops everything and drives outta state to see her exs family. She bailed on taking maternity pictures with me, among many other things and more. I just dont know whats there to fix. Even after I told her of my IG insecurities (not that she did anything wrong) she went and commented on her exs IG saying Gorgeous to a close up of a leaf. I just feel Im done for here.

KalimariX8 posted...

Uhhh is this a joke? If you dont have any kids with her yourself you should have jumped ship a while ago.

She obviously doesnt respect you, why spend your short life with someone like that?

the kid is mine. Due in a month.

BakonBitz posted...

Sounds like she's getting back together with him. Do you know when she'll be back? Because if it's not soon then I'd probably do it over the phone.

the day I start my new job. Tuesday.

SpacialEntropy posted...

Dump her over the phone. She doesn't deserve in person based on your post.

I genuinely posted objectively. This all happened yesterday. Ive had time to think. She wants to spend more time with her kids and I respect that 1000% but she had those kids when we first started dating and the whole thing was polar opposite.

The Trent posted...

Pretty fuckin relevant

ive got 0 reason to believe its not based on how she acts around me with her ex. But I guess its still possible it may not be mine.

So, Ill try to make this quick. Ive posted about my dilemma before. And to boot, shes left me before and did so over text.

GF lives elsewhere due to a unique living situation. Shes been acting strangely the last few months and I feel like Ive been pretty disrespected. And to add, shes pregnant.

1. She has stopped spending nearly as much time with me. She would spend time with me multiple times a week and stay the night multiple times. Ive been off the last two months for COVID and she stayed the night once. ONCE.

2. She will rely on her ex husband during emergencies and then text me afterwards. This has happened a few times.

3. She likes all of her exs Instagram posts within an hour or two of him posting them and she will go days without liking my posts. I realize its an insecurity of mine that I have to face, but the pain is still there. Especially since she sees him more than me due to the children.

4. She will drop everything and take a sporadic trip with her ex husband and kids to go see the exs family despite seeing me next to none. Add insult to injury; and shes willing to make all these sacrifices to do so. I ask her to go on a trip with me last week and we take the kids and she says Ill try. But with this most recent trip with her ex there was no Ill try she just did it.

TLDR: gf has completely changed. No time spent, relies on the ex for emergencies, my insecurities, her bailing on plans 80% of the time, and sporadic trips with the ex. How should I go about leaving?

PatrickMahomes posted...

Then why is she feeling guilty for not spending time with the kids when she clearly did?

So the ex gets to make out with her pre-vomit and you get post-vomit? That's not ideal

I meant that she feels guilty for missing time with the kids, and that influenced her decision

malenz posted...

yeah you need to let her know she fucked up because honestly she did. she was doing family shit with her ex that's a huge no no

shes aware.

PatrickMahomes posted...

Wait I'm confused, did she go on the hike or not?

Implies she went

Implies she didn't

????

she did go on the hike.

also, forgot to mention: she threw up on IG the Easter baskets I got for her kids and made out with me when I dropped it off in front of her ex.

PatrickMahomes posted...

Did you talk to her about your feelings? (didn't read 100+ posts)

@PatrickMahomes

i did. I wasnt confrontational or put blame on her. She cried and said she felt terrible about it all day. She tried to get out of the hike, asked if her ex could handle the kids himself on the hike and he said no. She then felt sad because she wanted to hang out with the kids and felt bad the ex couldnt go in a hike if she didnt go to help with the kiddos (age 3 & 6). Immediately after she got back from the hike she wanted to come see me and thats when I told her how I felt. I took everyones advice and wasnt mad about hanging with the kids. She then did the Skype with his family, and in the evening she called me.

she then told me that she was having a panic attack because she felt so bad and that she feels guilty for missing out on time with the kids. I reassured her I wasnt upset about her being with the kids, but the fact she spent no time with me on Easter and that it seemed he was prioritized.

onedarksoul posted...

You gotta toughen up a bit, and start thinking about the end and what you'll do, because it is coming.

how do you know? I already feel like shit about everything so Im trying to think logically

SauI_Goodman posted...

For this reason I will probably never date women with kids again. It's great that she wants to be a good mom to the kids but it's not for me.

I can see it dont worry haha

DarxWingDuck posted...

That chick had kids with the ex so they're connected forever now.

You date her, he is part of the deal and all this kind of nonsense that comes with it.

I would just decide if you can handle it or if it's just not something you want to deal with indefinitely.

I know guys that won't date women with kids for this very reason. It's not because of the kids, it's because of the ex that comes with the girl and kids.

yeah I understand.

she ended up doing the Skype with his families, so Im pretty fucked up at the moment. Im just hurtin.

IfGodCouldDie posted...

You didn't really address this. You just responded to the post quoting it.

been together a year. And fairly close. I brought them Easter baskets today.

So she just responded and said that shes gonna do the video with them, or that shes contemplating it at least

smoke_break posted...

This is what I was thinking. Obviously she's going to want to see her kids yeah, but family outings and shit with her ex-husband and apparently you're not invited.. the heck?

thats why Im upset too

CrazyandLazy posted...

Stop being sensitive. Maybe she's close with her ex's family and wants to says hi.

because thats limited time she could spend with me?

malenz posted...

I'd be pretty pissed not gonna lie. I don't think I could handle that kind of shit.

@malenz

to which part?

PokeCris posted...

This is a really good point. If you were close with her kids, then Id understand why youd expect an invite. If not, then theres no real reason why you should have expected one.

Her kids will always come first.

and I want them too no doubt. The real test is if shes gonna have a video chat with her exs family for his birthday. That has nothing to do with the kids.

Bump

Jabodie posted...

Probably not wrong to feel, but I wouldn't chastise her for it or start any arguments.

alright

So is it wrong of me to think she couldve invited me? I guess thats what really upsets me. And the fact she said shed make it to the dinner

So, today is her ex husbands birthday and obviously Easter. She told me she would be present after doing an Easter celebration with her kids and the ex. Totally cool.

well, the ex husband wanted to take the kids on an Easter hike for his birthday and hes too scared to take both kids alone (too hard to manage) and my gf feels the same way. So, she cancels seeing me today and goes on the hike with her kids and ex.

would anyone else be upset about this?

bump

Topic really.

ive been waiting to get mine back, and since I work nights and have been excused from work Im trying to figure my schedule out :/

The-Apostle posted...

You should tell her you're not comfortable with her spending so much time with her ex. Granted, they have kids together, so they have to spend some time together, but they already had a car together and then bought a second one together while she's dating you. That's just wrong. And if the baby turns out to not be yours, maybe you should try to find a healthier relationship.

@The-Apostle i already have. Plenty of times. Idk what to do anymore.

@Darmik @Chicken_Butt

had the conversation and I feel horrible. I tried looking at ways to examine the relationship and so did she, but shes so depressed that it was a lost cause.

I went to coffee with her the other day, and a few of her church friends came up and chatted with us. She knows I dont generally like meeting new people so she didnt introduce me. But her friends didnt ask about me either.

I told her it was a little weird that they showed no interest in me and the conversation steered somehow into me saying that Im kinda glad she didnt introduce me because it would hurt to be called just a friend.

ugh. Im literally dying

Chicken_Butt posted...

Just come at her straight, and don't let her change the subject on you. If she tries to veer off just say "(Her name), we can talk about that another time but right now we really need to discuss our future."

Man I hope you get through this alright, this shit sucks I can feel it. Be strong my guy.

Thank you bro. I appreciate the kind words.

EffectAndCause posted...

If this is fake, well youve got some creativity in your trolling.

If this is real you may be living the saddest human life on this planet.

@EffectAndCause

lol, its almost like you think I dont already know that. Cant you tell that Im in complete anguish over this whole fucking thing? Take that elsewhere.

Eevee-Trainer posted...

This.

That said, run. This dynamic sounds toxic as hell, especially the manipulation.

See, thats another problem. I have a hard time just running from that. I feel like Ive gotta exhaust all of my options here.

Darmik posted...

The conversation is about her and your future together. Try to keep it on topic.

@Darmik

any specific recommendations for that?

Smashingpmkns posted...

This shit fake af

@Smashingpmkns

yeah because I have nothing better to do . Ive gotten sound advice on ce before and I hope for the same now.

Darmik posted...

Hiccups are stuff like "She won't let me relax when I get home from work"

This is something pretty unique to you. I don't see any reason she's paying his bills or they're buying a car together even with kids. If you're going to marry her you and her need to be partners here. He should just be the guy who gets the kids sometimes.

@Darmik

ok good point. I completely agree with what you said.

so how does everyone recommend I go about this conversation? And what would be the rebuttal to the inevitable I ruined you mentality?

EffectAndCause posted...

Gonna go out on a limb here and say this is TCs first relationship and shes hotter than hed expect to get.

7th relationship.

she is hot.

regardless, I love the woman but this shits hard.

Skye Reynolds posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT2tAQluk0E

That made me laugh

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Dont get me wrong, thats the plan.

Chicken_Butt posted...

Not true man. What you don't deserve is to be mistreated or neglected or set aside.

Here man. It took me a minute to remember what this song was called and how it goes but dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TLK-i2X9zw

And man, it's pretty clear now you're not happy in this situation. That's no way to live. You might think that what you're doing is the "right" thing to do but to me it only looks right for everyone but you.

I'm not saying just throw everything away and walk, but set clear boundaries and tell her how it's hurting you and how that's damaging your relationship and if she can't respect that, then you might have to make some harder choices.

@Chicken_Butt

damn. That song hit hard. Thanks for giving me that. I know that Im blindly infatuated but I completely understand that the time may be near for some hard re evaluation.

PatrickMahomes posted...

How far along is the pregnancy?

Weve got three months left approximately

Sad_Face posted...

*Talk about A*
*Conversation steers away from A and into completely unrelated B and leaves A unresolved*
*happens multiple times*

Yes, it is intentional.

@Sad_Face

i happen to agree. Love makes people consider completely abnormal things to be substantiated. I guess thats why this is all so fucking difficult.

MC_BatCommander posted...

Uh assuming this is real that's a huge red flag lol

@MC_BatCommander i quite literally have 0 reason to fabricate a story like this.

MirageOfRuins posted...

TC is a cuck

@MirageOfRuins

do you not see that I already extensively hate myself for this situation? Obviously Im having a difficult time with all of this bullshit. I also have no reason to believe that I deserve anything better.

Chicken_Butt posted...

Holy hell, my dude.

@Chicken_Butt

yeah, to say the least. I truly do love her. I havent had a connection like this with anyone in my life which is why I suppose I tolerate this shit. Maybe a better question I can ask myself is what I can do to negate those responses from her when we discuss these things.

Cleo_II posted...

Sounds like shes manipulating you emotionally whenever you try to discuss anything with her. Thats a terrible dynamic. Are either of you in therapy? I know you have a kid with her on the way but this is not a healthy relationship, as Im sure you already know.

@Cleo_II

do you suppose its intentional? Or do you think shes using it subconsciously as some sort of defense mechanism?

Cleo_II posted...

Have you discussed any of this with her?

@Cleo_II

off and on most definitely. The problem I have with discussing these things with her always falls into her talking about how shes ruined me and how she feels suicidal. I always have to steer the conversation into proactive steps to fixing these things and recommending her therapy and/or mental help. I just feel tired of it being a revolving door. I too have mental difficulty so I understand her viewpoint, I just cant bring myself to constantly have to deal with that.

Chicken_Butt posted...

If you have to consider it at all, there is a HUGE problem.

@Chicken_Butt trust me, I know. I guess Im just trying to be considerate and faithful of the situation.

Flockaveli posted...

So do you just agree to this because you're afraid of and uncomfortable with being alone?

@Flockaveli in a sense, yeah. Ive been alone for so much of my life, and it was the driving force of losing all my weight. I think Ive just come to a breaking point.

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Please do not sign anything until you are 100 percent sure. Dont let anyone pressure you into signing your life away.

wont the hospital force me to sign after the child is born if Im present?

__aCEr__ posted...

Well one thing I think you should do is go down to the courthouse and make sure there's a divorce certificate.

Already checked that haha

Flockaveli posted...

I'm glad this is CE where everyone lies because damn this would be a sad existence for a real person.

@Flockaveli yeah, welcome to my shitty life.

Alteres posted...

Why did she buy a car with him?

they share cars on behalf of the kids.

TheMikh posted...

this does not seem like a healthy romantic dynamic

A fair amount of time it certainly doesnt feel healthy.

Chicken_Butt posted...

Half of this statement has a 100% chance of being true. The other half, not so much.

Ive considered that, but see it as highly unlikely.

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Is this a joke, TC?

All youre missing is some details like your girlfriend saying youre allowed to watch her have sex with other men when you behave, so that you can be a true feminist ally.

On the off chance that you were being serious, please run, not walk, far away from that relationship.

Yeah Im being serious.

heres a wrench: shes pregnant with my kid.

Chicken_Butt posted...

The real question is does she still answer your texts when she's fucking him? If she does it means she loves you more but just can't forget about his D, that's all.

bleh that made my stomach turn

Guide posted...

Is this copypasta? Cause if not, you have the emotional read skills of a piece of tuna. No, you do not marry this person.

ok so Im literally that infatuated then arent I?

R1masher posted...

Try drinking water or having someone scare you

Is it really that bad lol

I still feel like her ex husband is a much higher priority than me sometimes.

She has two kids with him, helps pay his bills, and recently got a car with him (they already have 1). This most recent car thing sort of bothers me.

Her dad gave her some money to purchase a new car. Naturally, I had to go to the doctor yesterday for severe pain. Her and the ex go and get the new car. I wasnt involved with the purchased, nor have a I been put on to be able to drive it.

despite my illness, she immediately came and stayed with me to make sure that I was ok. Ive got such a weird ebb and flow feeling with her, she takes good care of me sometimes but then I have this emotional distress when it comes to her ex. Am I just over reacting here CE?

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PSN: NihilismKills