Lurker > maoriwarrior

If so, does it have a feature where you can set up auto payments? Ive looked everywhere for it but cant find it
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PSN: NihilismKills | XBL: DiscipleOfFir3 |

Its stuck at the welcome windows screen.

Just a blue screen that says welcome at the top. The sound icon is available, and a headset icon.

Its been this way for 15mins. Any ideas?
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

@mipond is gonna take the cake. Just back out now everyone
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Topic
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Master_Bass posted...

I don't know how you can stand only eating 900 calories a day. When I was losing my weight, I did 1600 a day and was hungry until I got used to it. 1600 was the amount that let me lose 2 pounds a week.

1600cals a day is good!

I did 1k-1400 calories a day to start. Then bumped it 200 caps every month until it sustained.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Lo_Ping posted...

Grats on losing the weight. I will say Im a bit concerned about the amount of calories youre eating. But malnutrition is better than obesity if I cant talk you out of it.

I recommend intermittent fasting. I do One Meal a day and that meal is usually about 1,500 calories. Ive lost 42.2lbs so far. I eat whatever I want. Last night I ate deep fried chicken nuggets and mozzarella sticks.

At your weight you can probably eat a lot more than that and still lose weight. Google BMR calculator and find out what your basic metabolic rate is. Your BMR is how many calories you burn in a day doing literally nothing at all. Then just eat 500 less than that.

You should also be intermittent fasting to promote weight loss. You will only lose weight when your insulin is low. Every time you eat you will spike your insulin. And your body will gradually come back down from that spike before it will tap into your fat reserves.

Your body will make most of the nutrients that you need. You will need salt and water though. Eating such a low amount of calories will put you in malnutritional levels. Your body will desperately hold on to fat and burn muscle instead. Its why Ethiopians bodies are incredibly slim, but they still have a pot belly. Their nutrition is inadequate because they eat so few calories in a day. Youre actually better off not eating at all than eating a low amount of calories.

Im still pretty fat, but Ive lost 42.2lbs since October 16 doing intermittent fasting.

Intermittent Fasting diary

Day 1) October 16: 230lbs
Day 7) October 23: 225lbs
Day 14) October 30: 220lbs
Day 21) November 6: 218lbs
Day 28) November 13: 216.4
Day 35) November 20: 214.6
Day 42) November 27: 213.4
Day 49) December 4: 211.2
Day 56) December 11: 207.8
Day 63) December 18: 208.2
Day 70) December 25: 207.2
Day 77) January 1: 205.8
Day 84) January 8: 204.0
Day 91) January 15: 203.0
Day 98) January 22: 202.8
Day 105) January 29: 199.6
Day 112) February 5: 197.4
Day 119) February 12: 194.6
Day 126) February 19: 197
Day 133) February 26: 194.6
Day 140 March 5: 191
Day 147) March 12: 189.8
Day 154) March 19: 187.8

This is also a good idea, but Ive done both.

Mixing low calorie intake and then intermittent fasting the next day will keep your metabolism from plateauing. One day a week I also go over my calorie limit to stop the plateauing.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Proclose posted...

Tbh you're starving yourself and once you go back to a "regular diet" you're probably just gonna gain it all back.

Lol not true.

Ive lost a grand total of 240lbs and kept it off.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

The Admiral posted...

People are bitching about how short the game is for an RPG. You can apparently 100% it in under 30 hours.

I have not once read or heard of that. Rather heard the opposite. 70hrs to one hundred percent it.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Depression
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

EnragedSlith posted...

You look fine. This is just how it feels losing a relationship, because no matter the circumstance, it always feels a large part that you simply werent good enough. So the focus should be on channeling that negative energy into positive things. So start a new physical hobby and start a new routine in the gym. Then focus on what you have instead of what youve lost. Lean on your friends and indulge in things that make you happy. And, finally, invest in a good counselor to sort through your darkest feelings. Shit works. Then its just time.

As another guy said, youve been married at least once, so youll be able to do it again

Ya thats true.

It seems like women have a fair interest in me, I just cant read how legit it is
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

bluezero posted...

"Hey guys rate me. I'm going to cover every feature of myself possible."

I dont have many full pics but I added another one
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

https://imgur.com/a/CofKQ


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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Update on my story if anyone cares:

Got home after working a 13hr day. She tried to have sex with me again and I turned her away. She drank 6 beers and half a bottle of wine. I could tell I was being manipulated. She made dinner for me, her mood was awesome. Then the second I turned her away for sex, we went back to the same old shit. She became fairly mean and was distant AF.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

mipond posted...

Sure it did -- it brought back a lot of emotions and it seems like you might be feeling a little guilty about it seeing that you are planning on moving out. Like something inside of you is saying that wasn't the right thing to do.

But, it's a done deal and you need to try and take care of yourself. That's going to be hard as it is. You know living like this isn't healthy for you.

It just happened so fast and she initiated it.

Fuck man. This sucks.

I know its not healthy but that small sliver of hope is still there and thats probably the nail in the coffin.

I kept telling myself too 3 strikes shes out and clearly this is the third strike.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Idk guys. I feel like sleeping with her again really fucked me up.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

mipond posted...

If she has children do you think she would still consider suicide an option?

Idk who youre asking. But she does have 2 kids already.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Cocytus posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

Darkman124 posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

I came to CE to get more opinions.

consider how the only pro-stay opinion was formed: guilting you

that should be all the guidance you need

Agreed.

The question that remains now, is do I stay on suicide watch? She already said shed leave the apartment. Do I go back to my parents house to get my shit and just tell her to bounce?

Let me ask you this: what do YOU want to do right now? No judgement. What do you want to do?

Deep down I know its best to leave. A small part of me has hope but the marriage wont be able to go back to what it was.

I know it would be great if we got passed this. But stuff like this lingers.

Ultimately I dont want to live at my parents house. But cant live there either if shes there.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Darkman124 posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

I came to CE to get more opinions.

consider how the only pro-stay opinion was formed: guilting you

that should be all the guidance you need

Agreed.

The question that remains now, is do I stay on suicide watch? She already said shed leave the apartment. Do I go back to my parents house to get my shit and just tell her to bounce?
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Cocytus posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

Cocytus posted...

Master_Bass posted...

Cocytus posted...

Master_Bass posted...

Threatening suicide is a common practice abusers use to keep you around. If you think she's really serious then get her committed and move on with your life. You don't deserve this.

So he should only stay with her so long as things are going great...?

The guy has tried to leave her 3 times because of her abuse. Why the hell would you stay with someone that actively lies and abuses you?

Did he ever call the cops or not?
What about a marriage counselor?

Lol youll tell me to call the police? But not divorce? She would be locked up for domestic abuse. My way doesnt involve ruining her life.

Filing for divorce costs 232$ in my state. Counselors are far more than that

Well, like I said, if she's abusing you, why are you still humping her? 'Cause you love her so much? And now you're basing your decision, in part, on how much it costs to file for divorce vs how much it costs to get help?
I don't know what y'all already have talked about or if you have insurance, but why not try to help properly through medical treatment? BTW, that might be how much it costs to file for divorce (fumy how you knew that number already) but that won't be your final costs, not by a blame sight. We're talking thousands my friend.
But if you want to divorce her, then divorce her. It's what you want to do anyway. I just don't know why you come to CE with this problem as if you have a choice to make when you've already made up your mind. And why are you still fucking her when you know you fixin' to leave?

I do want to do it. Absolutely. Unless this shit doesnt happen anymore then no I dont.

You havent gone through something like this before but I can confidently say that when you love someone and you deal with crap like this you want any sort of love you can get. I was weak. Ill accept that.

I came to CE to get more opinions. Im clearly not in a good state of mind.

Idk. Guess a person could say Im lost.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Cocytus posted...

Master_Bass posted...

Cocytus posted...

Master_Bass posted...

Threatening suicide is a common practice abusers use to keep you around. If you think she's really serious then get her committed and move on with your life. You don't deserve this.

So he should only stay with her so long as things are going great...?

The guy has tried to leave her 3 times because of her abuse. Why the hell would you stay with someone that actively lies and abuses you?

Did he ever call the cops or not?
What about a marriage counselor?

Lol youll tell me to call the police? But not divorce? She would be locked up for domestic abuse. My way doesnt involve ruining her life.

Filing for divorce costs 232$ in my state. Counselors are far more than that
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

I left yesterday because she was lying and using money we dont have to buy booze.

Among many of the things she said heres an idea:

COME TO MY FACE LIKE A REAL FUCKING MAN AND PROVE IT

Mind you. Ive been attacked before.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Cocytus posted...

YUNASBFGIR posted...

you should try and help your partner through the day by day and generally

You think that's what the vows said? I'll try to help you, generally speaking? What the hell is a marriage for? It's a bond through thick and thin. Addiction is a disease like any other. Besides that, it shouldn't matter what disease it is. What do the vows say, I'll love you in sickness and in health, except for disease A, disease B, disease C, but other than that we're fine? If you ain't willing to help when the going gets tough, then yeah, maybe you shouldn't be married.But TC made a vow. You don't just give up on family. Someone gets sick and suddenly you want to leave. Pffft, yeah, that's devotion...

I have helped. As much as I can. Countless times. If she wont go and get help I cant do shit about it. Other than involve law enforcement.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Darkman124 posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

God and I wish I could show yall pics of the texts too to give you guys an idea.

i was in a relationship like that

when i exited she called me and said she was going to do it

i said "i don't believe you." and hung up. then blocked her number.

i suggest you do the same

Im not gonna lie Im scared to do that, but its going to have to happen.

Cocytus posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

Ive left my wife of a year 3 times due to alcoholism, abuse, and lying. (Towards me)

What about your vows? Did you promise to love her and keep her only if she don't have too many big problems? Are you a fair-weather husband? When the going gets tough, you get going? You gonna leave her when she needs you the most? Or when you married her did you promise to love her and be with her no matter what?

Nope. Actually never said til death do us part. I want to see how youd react being yelled at, belittled, physically attacked three times and more.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

mipond posted...

If you are worried about her you could always let her family know your plans so that they could watch her and her children.

She has 0 family in the state. On top of that, theyve pushed her away. Dont even barely contact her. Im literally all she has. She doesnt have any friends to count on either.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

The Admiral posted...

Relationship sounds pretty toxic. The best two options at this point are trying couples counseling (if you still want to salvage it) or leaving her. Submitting yourself to abuse is never the answer.

God and I wish I could show yall pics of the texts too to give you guys an idea.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

NonDairyMiltank posted...

hard addicts need to hit rock bottom before they think of seriously changin
they won't do it otherwise, not without the law breathin down their necks

if you stick around to support her when she refuses to change and get help, you're not really saving her from problems, you're giving her a convenient lifeline to abuse so she never has to face or change what a wreck she become

if you stay with her like that, she won't have incentive to grow up cause you will always be around to clean up her shit
hard addicts are the worst kind of babies...

I agree with this statement as well. Its tough because I love her. But its killing me.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Darkman124 posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

The fact I slept with her is whats f***ing me up the most. I still have a majority of my s*** at my parents even since thats where Ive had to go.

she was an active participant

sex does not mean "divorce canceled"

I guess thats true. See, and I feel like Ive made matters worse because she threatened to kill herself, and Ive returned to the apartment to make sure that doesnt happen. Idk. I felt like I should have taken her to the hospital yet she seems fine now
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Funkydog posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

She wont go to rehab. I have sent her links and even gathered info on her behalf.

Then bail. You aren't going to do her any good sticking around and if she refuses to get help then their is nothing more you can do. It is awful to leave loved ones like this, but making yourself suffer by staying won't do any good either. Remain in contact ready so if she does go to rehab you can support her if you want, but otherwise I would avoid contact at all myself. Maybe keep it to any family she has instead.

The fact I slept with her is whats fucking me up the most. I still have a majority of my shit at my parents even since thats where Ive had to go.

voldothegr8 posted...

If there's no kids involved dissolve that marriage and give no fucks if she hurts herself.

Just her kids. Not any of mine. I dont ave any.

ClockworkHare posted...

You're not robbing her of personal rights or choice by leaving her.
The potential fallout is her responsibility to work out, not yours.

When a relationship erodes due to a partner's problematic vices, the leaving party is not committing desertion by stepping out of a toxic situation.

It's self preservation.

This is not a gendered issue and I stress that point for a valid reason. There's a ton of men who feel it's their male responsibility to continue putting up with abusive, dysfunctional female partners due to gender norms that basically translate to "man up, be there for her". It sounds like a sweet sentiment, until you realize it's encouraging people to stay in hazardous relationships just to fulfill an impractical, unhealthy, codependent role. When that scenario arises for a woman, it's common in first world society to support the woman's decision to get out of that mess as soon as possible without guilt.

That should be the same reaction we give men suffering in similar conditions.
That is the same realization the abused men themselves need to see...

You wouldn't conscientiously tell a woman to stay with an deceptive abusive alcoholic man, right?
Why would the standard change if it was you, a man, considering to leave a woman who had the same troublesome issues?

The point is the standard should not change in regards to gender. It's two different people in need of leaving crumbling relationships. If that is where you currently are, do not feel ashamed for stepping out. You're no less a man for wanting freedom from that.

Thank you. That means a lot.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

gunplagirl posted...

Gotta do what's necessary to protect yourself and it might hurt her but as long as you don't purposely aggravate her to make her reaction worse, nobody can blame you for what she may do as a result.

Thats how I feel too.

Funkydog posted...

When someone had an addiction problem, the primary concern is getting them help. And you can't really do that and allow them to abuse you in turn. Unless you are willing to put up with it and push her into rehab then I don't think anyone is going to think bad of you if you get yourself out such a situation.

She wont go to rehab. I have sent her links and even gathered info on her behalf.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

Ive left my wife of a year 3 times due to alcoholism, abuse, and lying. (Towards me)

Did it for the third time yesterday and she ended up enticing me through sex.

She threatened to hurt herself so I went back to the apartment to monitor her. Once I knew she was ok I planned on leaving.

Is it fucked up for me to leave her finally this Friday? I feel like thats enough time.

Trust me, I didnt plan on sex happening whatsoever.
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PSN: NihilismKills
"Don't follow me I'm lost" -U.G. Krishnamurti

No gaming pc fam
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

Bump for rates
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

KStateKing17 posted...

You look pretty cool

Im pretty dope bruh
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

https://postimg.org/image/rkgyxo1xx/
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

MabusIncarnate posted...

Can I ask you an honest question? How long were you with both of these women before proposing and diving into marriage?

First one a year. Second one 6 months.
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

Vulgorn posted...

maoriwarrior posted...

It was hidden fairly well tbh. When we first started dating she drank of course, but not excessively (hard liquor along with 7-8 beers).

After marriage is when she really let her true color shine. Married for less than a year btw.

that sucks, man.

I agree. I mean, being real with myself, I overlooked some things due to infatuation. I feel like all of us do. My mistake was overlooking so many things.
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

KILBOTz posted...

She got a fat butt?

Yup
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

Vulgorn posted...

so like,i feel for you buddy but

you didnt know about this before you married her? or was it a post-marriage development

It was hidden fairly well tbh. When we first started dating she drank of course, but not excessively (hard liquor along with 7-8 beers).

After marriage is when she really let her true color shine. Married for less than a year btw.

eggcorn posted...

You should reevaluate your criteria for a potential spouse.

Honestly Im giving up on this shit altogether. Its way too fucking painful
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj

I have no idea what to do anymore tbh.

Shes an alcoholic, and turns violent and verbally abusive with me every time she drinks. Put up with that non sense for about 4 months straight until I left.

Of course she promised sobriety and told me she would never attack me, yell at me, or say spiteful shit to me ever again.

She made it a week and a half. Sure, I can handle a small relapse. But she wouldnt even tell me where all she went tonight. She also said I only had one beer as she was clearly drunk and nearly fell off the bed.

Then came the hateful comments. Aggressive behavior.

So I left.

(BTW first wife cheated on me and was doing illegal prescription drugs. FYI)
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XBL: DiscipleOfFir3
"Stay in the I am"-Nisargadatta Maharaj