Lurker > Starmieketone

Whenever someone refers to themselves as an autodidact, I tend to consider themselves as someone who diddles themselves with two fingers.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

I was unable to inveigle my dear wife to cook chicken livers. Instead, we dined on a delightful chicken and pesto pasta.

I imbibed my Guinness.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Starmieketone posted...

Chicken livers are delicious.

Yeah well Duck asshole might be exquisite but i'm not gonna throw one on the grill and find out.

More for myself and @chill02 , then.

Tell me, my dear boy, do you like pate?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Two of the holy trinity had a certain enduring mystery and charisma not possessed by other pretenders.

*Who was the girl behind the mask?
*What was that strange liquid?
*Was the fellow really married?
*If so, did his spouse know of his spectacular gift?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Chicken livers are delicious.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Impending colonoscopy.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

If only there were a wiki for the game...
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

A pizza establishment I no longer patronise due to severe incompetence on their part makes a vegan pizza with vegan cheese.

It was surprisingly nice.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

I would quite happily sell my soul for a cheeseburger*.

*I tell a lie. What I would in fact quite happily sell my soul for would be a lovely plate of chicken livers with apple and rice, with a can or two of Guinness to accompany.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Interesting. There was a fellow who attended my university around the time that I was studying for my undergraduate degree. He looked quite similar to the lass in the picture. I always wondered if he was a Harlequin fetus, all grown up.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

There is movement at the station.

I can definitely feel that the barbarians are on the march.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

All quiet down south, I am concerned that this will be somewhat apocalyptic.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

It cleans your pipes extremely thoroughly, in preparation for a colonoscopy.

If one wished to, tomorrow afternoon it would be possible to eat your lunch out of my bowel.

Being a lucky boy, tomorrow I will be undergoing both a colonoscopy and gastroscopy.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

In all likelihood, he forgot to switch twitter accounts.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

After some procrastination, I downed the first glass of picoprep, and found it bitter.

Aside from a truly mighty burp, I am as yet unaffected.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Here is an attractive CEgal. She can be wooed with bread.

https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/pri_41283169.jpg?w=620&h=414&crop=1
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

In preparation, I have begun to consume an off-brand gatorade to ensure my electrolyte levels remain reasonable.

It tastes like a mixture of lemon-lime jelly, blood and shame.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

The regime I will be following indicates I am currently 20 minutes off taking the first dose of picoprep.

I have made sure we are stocked up on lavatory paper, the children are with my wife's parents and the lavatory is vacant.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Strap yourselves in, ladies and gentlemen, this shall be an experience beyond all others!
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

weapon_d00d816 posted...

If the monarchy has no real power and brings in more tourism dollars than taxes spent, then it should stay.

Well, the problem comes in when the monarch (or the monarch's representative, as is the case in Australia) officially has ultimate control over the government and tactily is a figurehead with only ceremonial duties, but exercises the official extent of their power.

The 1975 Australian constitutional crisis is an example of this. The Governor General, the figurehead for the Queen's power in Australia dismissed a democratically elected head of state.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1975_Australian_constitutional_crisis
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

The fellow even has something approaching an epileptic fit to herald the arrival of his powers.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

I also enjoyed Covenant.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

My daughter does not drink tea. Occasionally, she will drink juice.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

I quite enjoyed it.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

What, pray tell, would be appropriate?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Thankfully, she is still in nappies.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

She will walk backwards towards you and then press her bottom against you. Preferably, if you are lying down or sitting, she will press her bottom against your face. Then, she screams "POO POO!" and strains extremely hard to move her bowels.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Why on Earth has he covered a perfectly good armchair in pubic hair?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

The people's will should decide the issue.

Personally, I am entirely against monarchies.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

I am more interested in whether a lass paints her toenails and if so, what shade she chooses.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

When I was younger, my chest hair took the form of the Bat Symbol (Christopher Nolan era). These days, it more resembles the double-headed eagle on the Romanov crest.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

What is all that in Celcius>?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Have you considered perhaps dating men instead?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

That Moment When Your Wearing A Dress With No Pants And You Swerve Way To Hard
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

What if we control or, heaven forbid, delete?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

A proud family tradition!
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Oh, how lovely. You must feel positively delighted.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Surely if you do not obsessively use workout machines on a regular basis, your muscles will shrivel like salted slugs?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Mal_Fet posted...

My eardrum raptured last Easter and took my left kidney and half my large intestine into heaven with it. I guess they accepted Waxus Christ as their lord and savior.

Everyone knows one's bowels go to Hell.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Pneumatic, very pneumatic.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Naysaspace posted...

New York, New...Yooooorrrrkkkk!

If this was not the Nina Hagen version, I shall be very disappointed.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Well, "equal" is something of a loaded term, and relies upon it's context.
Should everyone enjoy equal rights under the law? Yes, of course.
Are all races and ethnicities equal? Yes, of course.
Is everyone equal in athletic and intellectual ability or potential? Not a chance.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Hush, may I ask you all for silence?
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

If I weren't happily married, I may have stolen this. As it is, I shall remember it for when my son comes of age.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

theAteam posted...

Unlike men, women don't consider a guy buying them a drink as some kind of contract that they'll fuck them later.

Women take free drinks from guys all the time with no intentions of doing anything with them. They just want to get drunk for free and guys always trip other themselves to provide.

I could not agree more, my dear boy. The phrase "one born every minute" and a similar phrase involving even breaks spring equally to mind.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

My most effective pick-up line.

Baby, are you a challenger?
because I could make your O-ring disintegrate
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

Doctor Rock
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

We tried her with Yoshi's Island this afternoon. Although she was able to master jumping, her tactics otherwise involved mashing each and every button randomly. We will try her with Street Fighter 2 tomorrow.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.

My dear boy, your flagrant insecurities are more likely to drive her into the arms (and bed) of another man than any ploy by one of her friends to inveigle drinks. If you honestly believe that would be enough impetus for her to prove unfaithful, do yourself and your poor benighted girlfriend a favour and end the relationship. Unless she has an hitherto undisclosed track record of infidelity, she can do much better.
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One evening, I sat Beauty in my lap. And I found her bitter. And I cursed her.