Lurker > omega_cookie

Holy shit, her neck is like 1/3rd the length of her entire torso. Did her mom take it from a giraffe or something?

WalkingLobsters posted...

kids should have the autonomy

Wrong. Kids are idiots. It's their second most defining characteristic, after being assholes. Kids should have as little say as possible in their lives.

Backstab her, then hit her with a charge attack using your two handed sword that's actually a double decker buss on a stick.

Eat the corpse afterwards.

BustedLavaLamp posted...

Yeah but but but shes a bigot!!

She can rest her big 'ots in my fuckin face girl.

Remember when death threats were punished? Good times... good times...

MysteryMan923 posted...

The ability works such that you must arrange to meet the woman and convince them to engage consensually,

So the ability is.. nothing...

Oh hold your tits, did you say Dunkin!? You got robbed fool, I'dda taken a $2 gift card.

I don't get it. If you hate kids enough to do something that fucked up to them, why not just... not work with kids? There are plenty of minimum wage jobs out there, you don't have to take the one with children.

Just makes no sense.

Kitt posted...

I really wish I didn't read this.

He's also uncut and it tapers really weirdly. It looks like a dog dick.

Did the English language murder your family or something?

BustedLavaLamp posted...

Yes, if you fuck her for eight hours straight (no breaks, no Viagra if you lose your boner, you forfeit), you get $5million.

I'm going to give her the least satisfying 15 minutes of her life.

WalkingLobsters posted...

before the mental damage gets severe

Ever met a home schooled kid? Because if you had, you'd know that not being around other kids is a fucking terrible thing for children.

Why do you lie on the internet for attention?

Niko makes me sad. Dude used to be a professional classical violinist, got death threats because he stopped being vegan for health reasons, and now he's trapped in a cycle of destruction.

Also, his onlyfans leaked and my guy has an asshole that's like a five inch long slit. Imagine plowing a dude who takes 30,000 calorie shits.

Fuck that boogie loser, though. I've never once heard anything about him that doesn't make him a malignant piece of shit.

The only thing unfair about pitbulls is that they tend to maul other people and their kids, when they should maul their owners.

Why not go watch one of the other millions of videos instead of bitching?

Continue to not get the help his illness requires.

Absolutely, that's what I'd make back when I would make breakfast for myself.

Work from home, and only rarely since I blew out my back.

Solution: Tell the rednecks they can keep their guns if they use them to go around executing people's pitbulls. I mean, we're never going to ban guns no matter how man kids get slaughtered, might as well have some good come from them.

Can I go further? I have a super strange attraction to her. I'll take half the money to blow out that ass. Fuck, I'll do it for free.

rexcrk posted...

Still trying to get over that one tbh

R.I.P. My boi Big T. He couldn't see movement, and he couldn't reach his meat to beat one out, but he fucked up that goat real good.

That asteroid was a busta, dead ass.

The male equivalent is the same as the female.

Social rejects.

Because thinking that teachers, who make almost nothing and mostly coast through their day with the bare minimum of effort, are going to stop children from being assholes(The defining characteristic of children), is absolute fucking lunacy. Might as well try to count grains of sand on the beach.

Speaking of lunacy, Medea really needs to get banned already. The whole "pretend to be crazy and spam nonsense replies" is such a shit, pathetic gimmick.

Capcom should get down on their knees and beg me for forgiveness.

On one hand, that's fucking ludicrous and she should be ashamed of herself.

On the other hand, fuck Kanye West.

I'm so conflicted.

No, I would have quit playing when I got drafted that low.

From a salty Dolphins fan

We really need to up the penalty for things like this.

Like "cut off their arms" kind of penalties.

It certainly makes you a better person than those who can't get partners.

Why are you so bad at playing this game?

itachi15243 posted...

Still weird me out that you'd rather have a dictator (forever presidant), than Trump not be president again.

Still don't give a shit, what are you going to give me to change my mind?

Of course the first response is from someone tagged with that.

The answer is dementia.

It's all fun and games until an appellate court finds that they tried to influence the trial and intimidate the witnesses.

Xenu isn't gonna protect those cheeks from getting clapped.

Aww, poor babies. It must suck to be that stupid.

In high school, I took a physics class with a teacher who was retiring after that semester. Dude straight up gave zero fucks. Told us that if we brought in anything even remotely related to physics we could watch it instead of having class.

Someone brought in Time Bandits. That was the best fucking class I've ever had.

Paranormal, I don't know, you be the judge.

When I was 13 or 14, I had a friend whose mom's house had a shit ton of land. The way his back yard was set up was roughly a football field wide, about a mile long of flat, cleared land. The sides were all forest, as was behind the cleared land. The only source of light was a single floodlight on the back of the house.

Me, him, and another friend would go out into the woods and cut down trees. It was a fun work out, and his step dad would give us money for making firewood for him. We had a bunch of axes, and we'd bury them into trees and leave them there until the next day. One was a long axe with a rubber wrapped handle in high visibility orange.

One night, we stayed out there until the sun was just about gone. We were a couple miles out, so by the time we hit the end of the path to his yard, it was pitch black outside. Me and one friend were walking together, and the other friend was ten feet behind us or so. We had made it... twenty feet from the tree line when the friend behind us said something to make us turn around.

Behind him, was something. Couldn't make it out, too dark. I was taller than me, and I was already over six feet at the time. And it had the orange handled, high visibility axe above it's head, like it was taking an overhead swing. We both screamed "RUN", and thankfully my buddy didn't question it at all. I am convinced that all three of us set a new record sprinting to the house that will never be broken.

Run inside, lock all the doors, his parents aren't home, run up to his bedroom to hide. They come home a few hours later, we tell them what happened, his step dad laughs at us, we all go out back to see what's up.

The axe is buried into the railing on the stairs going up to the back deck. Call the cops. Cops accuse us of doing it. Thanks. Go out into the woods with his step dad the next day. Only one of the axes are still there. Three or four are gone, can't remember.

We still went out to chop wood after that, because we were idiots.

So. I don't believe in supernatural stuff, but I kinda hope it was a ghost or something. That idea has always worried me less than the thought that I was a split second from watching my best friend get his head caved in by some serial killer.

Kakapo posted...

Oh dear god.

She also has autism, according to him.

I'd stick with attorney, but I wouldn't have wasted all that time focusing on criminal. That killed my drive to climb. Would have gone straight into corporate.

Whatever the first non niche M rated game was, starting on the NES.

I can smell that picture.

Vyrulisse posted...

the usual suspects

Nobody has ever used that phrase and not been on the wrong side of whatever argument they're having.

Case in point: Going to bat for "How do I force my girlfriend to have sex with me" over here.

Haven't had sushi in over a decade. I live in Utah, and you don't eat fish anywhere you can't drive to the ocean for the afternoon. I keep meaning to go out for some when I go back home, but life always gets in the way.

Last year, my friend's wife ate sushi from a Chinese restaurant in Kansas. She got so sick that I could actually hear her shitting herself while I was talking to him on the phone. Funniest thing I've ever heard.

HylianFox posted...

The comics can't go too far and trivialize real world issues

They sure can use being a victim of the holocaust as an origin story for evil characters, though.

Fucking Zikten.

Miracle Whip on cold cut sandwiches. Mayo on burgers, steak and cheese, and grilled chicken sandwiches.

You're aren't going to do shit, you'll just slink back here in a few days and block anyone who mentions this temper tantrum. Don't get people's hopes up that you'll actually leave. It's rude.

YeOld3DS posted...

And it's posts like this why I hate his board.

Then leave. Nobody wants you here.

YeOld3DS posted...

Whether or not it's morally right to care about this country is an opinion

This might be the most stupid post I've ever read.

His cover of that Johnny Rebel song.

Unsuprised_Pika posted...

Better then "Be ruled by France Again"

Yeah, "give them more aid that is stolen by the corrupt" is definitely better than "be ruled by people who will force the country to run correctly".

Why don't you want people to be fed and kids to have schools to go to?

Edit: Oh shit, you're the guy who wants people to try to kill cops if they don't like what they're being arrested for. It all makes a whole lot more sense, you're actually crazy.

Remember when he said that his sexual assault was actually a ancient Indian handshake, and when they asked various tribes every last one went "what in the absolute fuck are you talking about"?