Lurker > Chunky

I think if you're educated in politics, you should vote

If you're not, you should not vote.

There's so much emphasis to vote no matter what your situation is, and I don't agree with it. Bad presidents have won elections because of uneducated votes.

AsucaHayashi posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ajx2xDrHo

Judging by the thumbnail alone, notice the lighting change in the "after" picture. I don't see much improvement, but it looks way better because the lighting casts a lot more shadows on his body. His arms legitimately do look a little better though.

dud posted...

Yeah, I feel you, I wouldn't say I mind lifting, but it's not intrinsically fun in the way that doing something else for exercise like riding a bike or playing a sport is. I just want to be able to get to a point where I feel confident with my body comp and then start doing more "fun" exercises and lifting more as maintenance

If you like doing it, keep doing it. My argument isn't that you won't see benefits at all, they will just take time.

Will_VIIII posted...

But you're also wrong there. Jan 1 2021 I set a goal to be able to do 100 pushups a day and I noticed arm and upper body definition in weeks.

How are you measuring the definition in your arm and upper body? Are you using measuring shape, or are you just using your naked eye? Reason I ask this is because, I also thought I had better definition in my arms, but I think it was just placebo, because my push-up and pull-up numbers were not increasing at all. I'm not saying that's the case for you, but I'm just wondering how you assessed that.

dud posted...

I've been lifting for over a year now and my weight has barely changed tbh. Can't lift much more than I could at the start either. That guy is being a bit cynical about it but it's definitely not always as easy as "go to gym, see gains"

I think it's fair that I give you my side of the story too. I worked out for about 6 months. I wasn't working out to lose weight or anything, I was strictly trying to gain muscle and look more tone. Maybe my expectations were too high, but after the 6 period, it was just not happy with the results. And for those who are saying " you're not trying hard enough", not true. I was giving it 100%. And it's not like I wasn't seeing any benefits, but I wasn't happy with the slow rate of the benefits. Normally I would have stuck with it, because I understand that benefits take a long time, but I just really hated working out. I didn't enjoy it, I didn't feel good doing it. I never looked forward to working out, and I always dreaded it every single day. To me, that just wasn't worth it.

Will_VIIII posted...

Benefits such as weight loss, more energy, body changes etc

Okay that's fair, I wasn't considering losing weight when responding to this topic. I was thinking of strictly gaining muscle. In that case, if your aim is weight loss, then yeah you definitely will see changes in a short amount of time.

Glob posted...

If I let myself get out of shape, which I have done several times, it takes about 3 weeks of going back to training to start seeing noticeable improvement.

Youre full of shit.

Keyword, again. If you're recovering what you've lost, that's completely different from what we're talking about in this topic.

Will_VIIII posted...

Uh, you'll see benefits in a couple weeks.

What benefits are we talking about here? Can you do five extra pull ups on the pull-up bar? 5 extra push-ups per set then you could do before? I'm talking about noticeable benefits, not microscopic ones like "it's 1% easier to do the workouts than it was a month ago"

DespondentDeity posted...

that whole post is just cope for laziness

I mean I am lazy (I did say I don't enjoy working out), but everything I said is true. You work out because you enjoy it. If you didn't enjoy it, you wouldn't do it

Glob posted...

If it takes you years to see any benefit then youre doing it wrong.

No it takes years to see benefits. Anyone that says you will see benefits in a few months is incorrect.

AsucaHayashi posted...

literally newbie gains

Define newbie gains. Being able to do 0.5 pull-ups (instead of zero pull-ups) is really not that great.

It takes years to see any noticeable benefits from working out. That is fine, lots of great things take time in order to see benefits. If you enjoy working out, then you have a reason to keep doing it, whether you see benefits or not. It just so happens that after doing what you love for a couple years, you will eventually see those benefits I'm talking about.

However, if you don't enjoy working out at all, there's not much reason to do it because it takes way too long to see any noticeable benefits. Is it worth working your ass off doing something you don't enjoy just so that you can POSSIBLY see benefit after a few years? I personally don't think so. That's like taking a high paying job because of the benefits, but you don't enjoy that job.

VeggetaX posted...

If Quasimodo was my friend and he told me he was gonna get with Esmeralda, I'd tell him he has no chance and you're not a good friend if you let him think he has a chance.

Depends. What are Esmeralda's preferences? Does she believe she's worth something? Does she think she's entitled to a guy at a certain stature? All things to think about

Naysaspace posted...

None of the above.

It matters. It is not the most important thing. But it IS a dealbreaker -- If i am not attracted to someone, I cannot be with them.

Keep in mind that what I think is attractive may not necessarily be what the next guy finds attractive, and vice versa.

This is a good point. There's no official flowchart on what is considered attractive and what isn't, unlike what some people think.

Senta posted...

They dont matter to me at all. They never have. If I love someone's personality, that's enough. If I hate someone's personality, then they just dont look appealing to me either.

Would it be weird interacting with people who are better looking than your significant other?

I've always heard people say "He's out of her league" or "she's out of his league", almost like dating is some tier lest, where a 7/10 man can't date a 9/10 woman.

Do you think these leagues exist in real life?

I think it's up for the person to decide. I think some people do believe in this type of thing, but everyone is different. I think leagues are just a fake barrier, but if 90% of people believe it then it's technically true. I don't know the exact percentages, but there are enough people who don't look at dating like that. Plenty of women date men who are not particularly attractive.

What do you think?

Tropendrope posted...

It sounds like it is definitely actually a dealbreaker for you if its literally the only thing making you question your relationship

I think you're right. If she were a 6/10, literally just one point higher, I probably would be fine with it. I feel shallow making this my deal breaker, and I don't think she's ugly either. She's right in the middle. Average. My thought process is, imagine if I met a woman 6 years later, and she's prettier and equally as great.

R1masher posted...

Get her a makeover

That wouldn't be right for me to try to change someone. I'm imposing my preferences of looks on her, when that is her decision.

I've been talking to this woman for a while now. Honestly she's great. We have a lot in common, she's fun to talk to, our conversations are so natural. I like her a lot.

But the one problem is that she's very plain looking. 5/10. She also wears these glasses that make her nerdy, which it doesn't help. I really hate to say this, but her average appearance bothers me a little bit.

In my opinion, looks do have some importance in a relationship, but it isn't a deal breaker. I'm not expecting a 10/10, but I do have to draw the line somewhere, and this woman I'm seeing is very close to that line. Again, outside of that, she's great.

What do you guys think? You can comment about my story, or just give your opinion about my question. You can even tell me your story and I'll comment

xGhostchantx posted...

I like the idea but not the question. Tbh tho I'm struggling for an alternative.

This is where I'm at too. It's not a great question, but it's one of the best.

RlP posted...

What do you if they answer I don't like coffe, or just "normal".

Good point, but if they give a one word answer, chances are ALL of their answers will be one word answers, no matter what the question is.

Cleo_II posted...

My mom used to take classes with Filipina women who were married to older/less attractive men. They all had side bfs. But heres the thing, the guys are also getting a more attractive woman than they would normally be able to pull so its often transactional. Not saying thats it for your friend but there is a good chance he wont care about what you have to say so you should be careful about how you say something. Or you risk losing him as a friend because she will catch wind of it and make sure he cuts you out.

The way you word it, it almost sounds like it's the smart decision to make.

People like yourself tell me all the time that "leagues" exist in relationships, but I've seen people who are commonly regarded as unattractive (bald, fat, whatever), who are dating super attractive women.

CRON posted...

I'm going to get crucified for this but I have zero idea how dudes in these situations have no self awareness. Like, literally everybody is judging and mocking them for being desperate and taking advantage of women who just want the visa in hopes of not living in poverty. Literally everybody sees through the bullshit and desperation and sees it for what it is.

Could be wrong, but I think deep down he knows this is a terrible idea, but his judgment is clouded because he doesn't think he could do any better.

Norman_Smiley posted...

Have a conversation with him. Don't disparage her. Ask questions. Why is she so urgent? How do you know she is the one? Why not have her visit and stay with you for 6 months first to see how it works? Have they talked about family expectations? She may expect him to help take care of her parents, or portions of any money she earns may go to her parents.

Do you know his family? I would probably air all my real concerns to his parents if I knew them.

I can answer one of those questions. The reason she hasn't visited him is because it is near impossible to get a visa in the US. That's why that whole stereotype of marrying into the US is a thing.

Flockaveli posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/5/8/AAdMiTAADy6O.jpg

You gotta find another hobby little guy. Stop shitposting kid.

Not gonna lie, I laughed at your title of my name. I don't know why people keep claim I'm a troll or claim my topics or fake. Are my stories really that unbelievable? Honestly I'm flattered, it must mean I'm a great storyteller and writer.

specialkid8 posted...

Better question: "would you rather have a dog with human hands or a cat with a human face?"

Weird enough to get their attention and lots of ways to continue a conversation.

I actually wanted to quote this one more time, because I do really appreciate the suggestion, and I am considering trying this. I'm open to suggestions on new things to do (because what I'm doing right now is obviously not working haha).

I still somewhat stand by what I said about leading with a joke. Because yeah the joke is funny, but then after everyone stops laughing, we're back at "so...what do you like to do". Again, this is just my take. I encourage people to disagree and challenge me on this.

CanuckCowboy posted...

You're sending two messages when you could just send one that has the question in it. Thats not saving time...

It is because if they say no, or ghost me, I don't have to waste my time looking at their profile and trying to think of something to say. That's the only reason I ask the first question. Otherwise all of my messages would be personalized from the beginning.

CanuckCowboy posted...

Can I ask you a question is such a dumb question to ask. Honestly a bit of a pet peeve of mine.

I'm asking for permission to ask a question.

If you work in a business, are you going to write a long-ass contract before you get permission from the signer? NO! I'm going to make sure the people I'm asking these questions to are going to say yes, otherwise I'm wasting my time.

pinky0926 posted...

Treat the person I'm talking to like an actual person and figure out if I'm interested in them, and not like a strategy game I have to win

works so far

I used to have your mindset, but I was not having that kind of success. Not sure why, maybe it was my location, maybe I'm not as good looking as you are, maybe it's because I've been on sites longer than you have, but I was getting ghosted left and right. Could it have been my fault? Absolutely. But I do want to put some blame on the gender ratios of dating sites. There's 1 woman for every 10 guys on there. If it's working for you, keep doing it, in fact I hope that doesn't change in your case.

silverpine posted...

that's fair, it's definitely boring because i'm not interested in coffee. it seems like you just picked like the least offensive most basic ass question possible lol. i can see why it might be a decent strategy but that's the same thing that makes it boring

You do make a good point. If things were going well for me and the dating world, I wouldn't have made this topic to begin with lol. Back to the drawing board.

specialkid8 posted...

Better question: "would you rather have a dog with human hands or a cat with a human face?"

Weird enough to get their attention and lots of ways to continue a conversation.

Not a bad response. I just don't see how that's gonna spark up a conversation tbh.

Everyone wants me to send joke responses. Jokes are nice, but I'm going to give off a pickup assist vibe if I do that, right? And real conversations do happen in a friendship or relationship, right? If you're in a relationship, I doubt you're just making jokes for 1 year, you're probably having genuine conversation too.

With that said, I do like your opener.

silverpine posted...

that seems like a fine opener but the question is a little disappointing. just a little boring.

The question about the coffee? Ok I'm gonna change that one, lots of people in here are saying it's a bad question lmao.

Ok about "boring". I don't actually know what that means. I feel like 99% of people check the "boring" box because they're not interested in a particular topic. I feel like too many people are trying not to be boring, and the word is overused unfortunately. I think "boring" means two people are incompatible

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

You cant think of a way to get off the topic of coffee? Ive transitioned into conversations about relationships, vacation trips, family, fantasies, all kinds of shit. It's not hard, you just gotta think

Zonbei posted...

That is a terrible question to start a conversation. Really just leaves no room for followup. If youre gonna use the same generic question for everyone you could at least put some effort into it.

its really not that difficult to just send a message based on their bio though.

Have you been on dating apps recently? Most profiles hardly ever have any content in them...or if they do, it's a reference I don't understand. Nothing I can do about that.

Not saying the coffee message is great, but there's no better message. I don't think CE could come up with a better message.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I actually think the opposite. A joke is gonna kill a conversation because you have nothing more than just a one-liner. She might laugh, but then you got nothing after that. By actually answering the question, there's a million ways you can create a conversation. It's a case-by-case basis.

I start out by asking "can I ask you a question?" This message I send 100% of the time, no exceptions, if I'm interested in the woman.

If she answers, 90% of the time I ask "how do you like your coffee?" Sometimes I may send something different if there's something about her profile that jumps out to me (usually not the case).

If the conversation continues from there, all of my messages are unique and not copied from elsewhere. At that point I'm actually talking to them.

So why do I do this? It makes more sense to message 20 people with a generic message than 5 people with a personalized message. My rate of replies does not seem to change, and I don't have the time to dedicate more time than that.

Another reason I do this: If you go on Bumble (where women message men first), I've received VERY generic introduction messages.

Final reason I do this: I believe most people on online dating sites don't care WHAT you write, it just matters that you wrote in general, the timing of when you wrote the message, what you look like, and what order it shows up in their message list.

Some possible objections I may receive:

"No wonder you get no replies"

My reply rate has not changed. In fact now that I'm messaging people more often, im receiving MORE replies.

"You don't deserve to talk to any woman because of this"

Why not? I'm just starting a conversation. The first 2 messages are generic, but the rest is legitimate. It starts off with small talk, then you get to the nitty gritty stuff.

Anyway, do you agree with me? What is your strategy on online dating sites?

Irony posted...

Does she have a nice bush?

i dunno about that lol. but i will admit she is very good looking in general. i think that is part of the reason this guy is "hooked".

Shabriri posted...

If he wants to marry her, he's going to. He's in for a bad time but I don't really see what you can do besides lay it all out for him, firmly but nonjudgmentally.

this is true, and that is going to be my plan. i'm not gonna be an asshole about it, but i feel like i have to talk to him about this.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

i hate to admit it, but yeah this does look like an episode of 90 day fiance. to be fair, they have known each other for a year at this point.

josifrees posted...

She cant just show up and and leave him iirc. Any long term visa she gets is gonna be dependent on her being legitimately married or whatever

interesting, how long does it have to be? i guess she could do the bare minimum and then leave. or she could leave him while still being married legally.

This friend of mine has always had trouble finding a woman. He has poor self-confidence, kind of awkward and doesn't look great physically tbh. Anyway, he met this girl from an online game who lives in the Phillipines.

At first I ignored their relationship, because I didn't think anything would happen past online interactions...but to my absolute fucking surprise, he actually went to Manilla to meet this girl after 6 months of chatting.

A few problems I noticed with this woman:

• She moves VERY fast. She wanted to be official boyfriend/girlfriend status within the first couple weeks, after their first date in Manilla, she wanted to get married.
• She has received lots of gifts from him. Bought her a Nintendo Switch, games, food, other small gifts, etc. To be fair, I don't think she asked for those things, but this still seems weird to me. This might not be her fault, so take this as a grain of salt.
• She demands a LOT of attention from him. She wants to video chat with him for like 8 hours a day. If she doesn't get that, she gets pissed and starts arguing. This leads to my next point.
• She picks fights with him over small things, some of which is out of his control. Ex: She got pissed because he beat her in the online game they play, and blocked him on FB and WhatsApp. Seems like they argue at least once a month, and it usually results in her blocking him for a couple days, and then unblocking him.
• She's immature. Childish sense of humor, and some of her "games" like blocking him, picking stupid fights, her clinginess.

The filipino woman seems nice, but I think the bad outweighs the good. I think his judgement is clouded because he's lonely, has low self esteem and this is one of the only women willing to give him attention. Do I think this woman loves him? Honestly I don't think so. I think she's lonely and has issues, and is using this relationship as a band aid to temporarily "fix" those issues.

Why I think I need to intervene: He's gonna marry her in a couple weeks, and I DO think as soon as she lands in the US, their relationship is going to fall apart. I don't expect this to last more than 6 months after she lands in the US.

Here's the thing. I DO think my friend is capable of finding someone better. He just needs to hit the gym, get a hobby, meet new people and improve his self-confidence.

Note: So you might be thinking "Chunky, this is none of your business". I don't care about the formalities, this is a life we're talking about. I don't want him to potentially deal with a terrible divorce where he's stuck supporting this woman due to legal proceedings.

So anyway, what do you think I should do about this?

Glob posted...

You deleted your main way of communicating with her. How exactly did you not ghost her?

You say you care but your behaviour says otherwise. You fucked it up. Accept it and move on.

i deleted my facebook a month after we hadn't talked. she could have messaged me if she wanted. you're making it sound like it's my fault, but remember, she didn't contact me either. in fact, I was the one who contacted her a year later, not her. why am i getting blamed again?

BigHentaiBoobie posted...

She got thicc and decided you ain't able to handle it.

honestly you wouldn't believe how it happened. before, she was VERY petite. barely any butt. but a year later, she suddenly had a big ole booty. i don't know how genetics work, but it wasn't there before.

Glob posted...

So basically, you didnt put any effort into maintaining a relationship, allowed time to pass before changing your mind and are now surprised that the person in question doesnt view the person who clearly didnt care about them before as important and has moved on with their life?

its not like i ghosted her, we both had unrelated life situations happened and stopped talking. if she made this topic instead of i, you would have prolly said the same thing to her. and i didn't say i don't care about her. in fact i DO, which is why this topic was created.

SwordMaster13X posted...

Is this some sort of weird made up story?

getting a big butt doesnt really change a personalitythe personality was probably always there

what i think happened:

• prior to her pregnancy (when we were still talking), she was the sweet girl i used to know
• then that year-long gap happened. in that gap, she realized she was gaining weight, but prolly looked in the mirror and noticed she has a big butt. and then she recognized that guys started commenting more, and it made her realize the asset that she now has.
• with the new advantage she has in life, she's now in a different tier than before. she can now associate with a different group of people. now she has fans that love her pictures, she can date different guys, she has opportunities she didnt have before. in the process, she drops the social groups she used to be a part of and friends she used to have. she's not the person she used to be.

what do you guys think?

a few years ago i used to be good friends with this woman. neither of us were looking for a relationship, we just wanted a close friend...and i thought that made perfect sense, because how often do you see relationships fail? now how often do you see best friends stop talking? almost never. for the purpose of this topic, she was very petite.

eventually, her and i stop talking for a year. nothing bad, she moved hours away, and i was switching between jobs and apartments. both her and i mutually didn't keep in touch. i deleted my facebook permanently, which was the primary way we used to communicate.

1 year later, i realize i didn't want to lose a close friend of mine, i decided to contact her again. i already made a new facebook account for unrelated reasons, so i added her. she accepted and i notice she looks a LOT different than before. she gained a bit of weight (from a pregnancy), and now has a really big butt. i dont know where it came from, because she was VERY petite before, but there it is. it almost looks like two different people.

even though she accepted my friend request, our conversations have been MUCH different from before. she almost never responds, and she's much more rude than before. i also noticed she posts more selfies, she gets a shit-ton of likes and comments and her statuses generally have more 'tude than before.

so what happened? why does she suddenly think she's too good for me? i think i know why. i believe her new asset is the reason. she's attractive, and she knows she's attractive, so she realizes that she could get any guy she wants. knowing she can obtain anyone, now she is entitled, and all of her statuses and relationships with others will reflect this.

i'm honestly completely fine with this, i don't blame her for this at all. you have to use the cards you've been dealt with to get places in life, but i have one question...is our friendship completely fucked? i miss having her as a close friend, now she's a completely different person because of the big booty.

what do you guys think?