Lurker > AzureAnihilator

joe40001 posted...

In their late 20s but not being any good since they were 9?

joe40001 posted...

3-8 years old really was the sweet spot. After that most people lost interest.

I should have known there was something seriously wrong with you after I witnessed your childish and self-obsessed behavior in that other thread.

Now it all comes together.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

If none of the pics are good, it's time to stop blaming the pics.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

You know you people are only encouraging that giant jackass, right?

Stop giving the child attention and he'll stop acting up.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Not gonna lie... she wouldn't fucking touch you.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Not interested. E3 has sucked donkey balls for ages, this year will be no different.

People who don't play games introduce other people who don't play games so they can tell us all about the games they don't play.

Every game is announced with a CGI trailer that doesn't reflect what the game will look like at launch or even a year from now.

Then, we get to the Call of Duty Super Power Hour sponsored by MTN DEW, where we get to watch a bunch of nerds that think they're cool for playing CoD go through half the campaign of Call of Duty: Modern Black Ops IV: Spectres.

One of the big three will probably announce a sleeker version of an already existing console at a stupidly high price point.

Then they'll fuck off with that noise so we can listen to hours of indie devs talking about their little half-baked crap production based on a simple idea. Because you see, when they were growing up, they were raised on a farm with their great aunt's cousin and he loved to watch the birds, so we totally needed shovelware about birds.

The best part of E3 nowadays is when some geekoid business doof gets up there and makes an ass of himself and we call get to laugh at him for being a failure. I'll catch the replay on Youtube this year. E3? Thanks, but no thanks.

E3 sucks.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Still not keeping your shit bumped? Lazy.

The irony here is the extra attention and pity I've afforded you by keeping this bumped and putting you down is actually making your shitty post more popular than it ever would have been otherwise.

I expect a thank you, Joe.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Broseph_Stalin posted...

so where are these jokes

Didn't you catch that Colbert episode where he made the joke? Totally happened, just like OP said.

Annihilated posted...

I laughed. Whoever says that joke is not funny is straight up lying.

The majority make the rule. Society has always been that way. You are in the minority. You are an exception.

That doesn't mean everyone else is a liar. It just means you laugh at things that are agreed by most to not be funny. Congratulations.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Any of 'em but ol' horse chompers and the Noh mask over there.
---

You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Sativa_Rose posted...

There is nothing wrong with a female being topless (I will assume the hearts were just put there for censorship). Any suggestion otherwise is actually sexist and misogynist.

Shit post in a trash thread. Like throwing a bag of crap into a burning dumpster.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Keep your thread bumped, Joe. Or are you already planning to welch?
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Lol. Over 500 views, -14 points.

Clearly this is a good joke and everyone else is just wrong or doesn't get it. Clearly.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

I'm still talking to a brick wall.

Two now, actually.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Science has no other explanation for your density.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Are you a neutron star?
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Who's bitching out? You must not realize how massive my balls are. I'm more worried about you welching than I am the actual bet.

Or did you think because I took the bet I was going to stop mocking you? Not happening.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

averagejoel posted...

if you can come up with a better metric for whether the joke is good, I'll gladly accept

Ooh, I have an idea! How about we post the joke to two separate online platforms and let the general populace of each decide if the joke is funny!

Wait, I think we've already tried that... Nevermind.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Oh, and the phrase of my choosing, which I expect you to post in a new thread here on CE just as I would if I lost, is...

"Hi. I'm Joe. I'm a massively pretentious tool that thinks my lame jokes are funny and can't understand why other people don't agree with me like I want them to."

Do we have a bet?
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

I'll take that bet. PM me with the video when it happens.

I'm going to enjoy watching you make a fool of yourself. If I don't get bored and forget about this, that is, or you don't welch which you probably will.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

I think it's 1 thing:
1. You are not funny.

Is it sinking in yet, Joe? Let me break this down for you, here's your situation right now:

On IMGUR:
"Look at my joke, everyone! Marvel at how witty and clever I am! Hahahaha!"
"Actually that's not very funny"
"What the fuck, look at how stupid you are. You must be dumb for not getting my joke."
"No, I get it, it just... isn't funny."

(Joe logs into GameFAQs)

"guys wtf these dumb apes don't get my amazing 10/10 joke! someone explain how this could be?"

I'll say it again: You're not funny. But you are one thing. You want to know what that one thing is? You want ol' Azure to lay it down for you? Let me tell you what you are: You're pretentious. You are straight-up pretentious.

Too bad they don't upvote for that or you'd be rolling in your precious internet points. Call me salty, call me a troll, I don't give a fuck.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Learn to be funny.

Better yet, just quit trying and get back to your day job, those burgers aren't going to flip themselves.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

You're salty as fuck, aren't you? Don't answer - you are.

The joke isn't hard to get. It just isn't funny. Sorry, kid. I'm guessing you showed it to your mom and she threw you a bone and handed out that pity laugh, but she's obligated to love and support you. The internet is not.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

You are one pissed off giant cheeto. Shave your neck, take a shower and care about things that matter for once in your life...
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Backed out at the intro. Not doing it.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

DarkChozoGhost posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

So in other words, because you lacked the spine to just stand up for yourself, instead you're pretty much your manager's whipping boy and you ruined your own three day weekend by being a coward.

Don't make a thread like this acting like your weekend was ruined for you. You did it. YOU did. Own up to your weak shit.

This is funny considering you're tagged at "teenage white girl"

I like your story and all, but it's just not that cool. I'm sorry to let you down, man.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Boots to asses. I nail him in the back of the head with a bar stool. Once he's down I'd stomp his gut.

Yeah, it's dirty. Yeah, it's cheap. Yeah, it's low. I might be tough, but I'm not about to try and throw down with Brock in a fair fight. He would cave my face in for sure. But nobody, and I mean nobody, harasses my old lady.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

You are by far the most disturbing user here.

More than that Hoth guy that does that doxxing shit, more than Rain that pretended to be a girl with cancer for internet points, even more than that guy with the diaper fetish.

You are the creepiest thing on this site.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

pojr posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

if you agreed to go in because you were worried for your job, guess what? It's time for a new one. You shouldn't be working somewhere you feel you might be fired for not wanting to come in on your days off. That's a crap job.

I just figured that was corporate America. And yeah, I've been fired from my last two jobs lol. I didn't want to take any chances with this one.

You don't have to settle. Keep job searching even while employed. Crap jobs are for temps, teenagers and low-tier humans who honestly can't do better for themselves even if they wanted to.

You sound young. You're at a point where you can make a conscious decision to stay under someone else's boot, or find your stones and realize you have more worth than you give yourself credit for.

Too many employees nowadays fall victim to the mentality that they're expendable and replaceable, and don't get me wrong, that will always be true - but not your employer's preference, especially if you're a strong employee that has good attendance, is willing to pick up extra time and always goes beyond the job's demands. Become someone the team relies on, and they will get into the mentality that they have no choice but to rely on you.

Become an employee with shoes that would be hard to fill, and it gives you bargaining power. Raises, promotions and accolades can be yours if you're willing to put in the time, and you have the right level of self-esteem.

Always remember that employment is a two-way street. It's a sort of deal between you and your employer. Once you're in a position to request a sweeter deal, man up and do it.

And if you're not sure, go ahead and get another job lined up, and then tell your boss you're putting in your two weeks because you found a job that pays a bit more or works better with your schedule. If you're a worthwhile employee, suddenly, you will be deserving in his eyes to make that little bit more, and he will bargain for you to stay.

And then you can shit all over him and leave anyway, or you can stay and enjoy a better work experience.
---

You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

pojr posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

So in other words, because you lacked the spine to just stand up for yourself, instead you're pretty much your manager's whipping boy and you ruined your own three day weekend by being a coward.

When you get a job for the first time, you will learn that you have to make sacrifices.

Cute response. I don't make sacrifices, I make decisions. I'm a foreman. I've been working in the same company for 8 years, and I'm planning to make it 30.

I take any overtime available to me and work as many hours as the regional manager will approve. And I don't say my weekend is ruined if I'm asked to come to a job site. I'm grateful for the opportunity, because it only benefits me in the long run. I can't understand the mentality of preferring a three-day weekend over work opportunities.

Feeling like your weekend is ruined because you don't know how to say no to your boss when you don't want to work, though... come on, guy. Who are you bullshitting with this attitude? Are you not in charge of your own life?

Only other angle I can think of is you were afraid you would face reprisal... if you agreed to go in because you were worried for your job, guess what? It's time for a new one. You shouldn't be working somewhere you feel you might be fired for not wanting to come in on your days off. That's a crap job.
---

You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

So in other words, because you lacked the spine to just stand up for yourself, instead you're pretty much your manager's whipping boy and you ruined your own three day weekend by being a coward.

Don't make a thread like this acting like your weekend was ruined for you. You did it. YOU did. Own up to your weak shit.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Maybe normal people don't hilariously overreact to being asked if they'd like to buy things in a retail establishment, and just shop there because they want to.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Ignore MrZAP, he's never gotten any so his opinions don't really matter.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Oh great, an internet crybaby is promising to whore for attention. I can't wait. Tell me when to start my popcorn.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Southernfatman posted...

Gamers are their own worst enemies. This kind of crap is just the beginning of gamers getting screwed by companies.

Oh, this is so, so far from the beginning. Xbox Live was the beginning. Every step of the way, the developers were just testing the waters, and every step of the way, gamers were diving head first into a shallow pool and being happy about it when their skulls got cracked.

Horse armor, where they deliberately overpriced a useless item to see if gamers would pay.
Gamers should have said "Nah, fuck that" but the money rolled right in.

Then came DLC packs that turned out to be unlock keys for content already there.
Gamers should have said "Are you for real? Get fucked." But the money rolled right in.

Then came game content held back at launch behind a paywall. Pre-order or it's $5.99 DLC.
Gamers should have said "How about no." Instead they said, "Fuck yeah, let's go."

Developers realized people would buy anything at this point.

Along came premium editions that include content that should be in the base game for exorbitant amounts of money. All these Ultimate Editions and Gold Editions and Daybreaker Editions and Whateverthefuck Editions, that bring the base price of the game up anywhere from a little to more than double.

Gamers SHOULD have been outraged. But they just kept buying it right the fuck up.

And now we're here. Now we're at a point where they've realized they don't even have to sell us actual DLC and paywall content, but instead can just sell us a mere chance to earn said content. And each failed chance equals more money.

And we should have realized the shame by now. We should have realized this is a mockery. But we open our wallets, and we throw all our money at them, and then we come here to whine about "the RNG Gods", which are a beast entirely of our own creation.

Gamers are fucking idiots.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

"I hate the current RNG unlock system!"

*supports it financially to the tune of $70 not for costumes, but for the chance to unlock costumes*

thompsontalker7 posted...

Lol

even after all this time I still don't regret it

I regret entering this thread and expecting to meet a sensible human being. What a waste of time.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

thompsontalker7 posted...

B-b-but it's not a waste because...

because...

because I LOVE her!!!!

Whatever makes you feel better, dude. You're wasting actual money on on a virtual girl. You're the reason the system works. You're a sucker. If you and gamers like you would stop supporting the very thing that you claim is making you upset, maybe it wouldn't be a thing anymore. But here we are.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

thompsontalker7 posted...

because they give my waifu Mercy the best skins

So let me get this straight. You wasted real money so you could slobber over a virtual girl in fetish outfits like a gross nerd?
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

He dug his uncut fingernails into the blubber laying over his neck, and began scritching and scratching at the thick, unwashed brush blanketing the surface. Cheeto dust and lice were brought loose, and drifted onto his belly rolls below.

A knock at the door. He sighed, wearily.

"WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT MOM I'M BUSY"

"H-honey, I brought your pizza rolls..."

He groaned and tried to spin his chair, but his sheer magnitude cracked the base, causing the chair to topple over. He flopped fattily onto the floor, and before he could try to correct me and say fattily isn't a word, his mother pushed the door open.

"Oh my gosh! Honey are you okay?!"

In her excitement, she dropped his pizza rolls and rushed to his side. His heart shattered along with the plate as pizza rolls indeed rolled around on the basement floor. And immediately, his sorrow was replaced with an unholy rage.

"MOM YOU STUPID LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY PIZZA ROLLS, GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!!" he bellowed, tears welling up in his eyes, his face almost beet red. His mother scurried out of the room, leaving her son in a pool of his own obesity on the floor.

She gently closed the door to the basement, whispering "I love you, son..." as the latch fell into place. She couldn't hold back the tears. How had she failed so completely? How had everything gone so wrong?

She never asked for this...
---

You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

I can't tell if you're posting ironically, but I hope so for your sake, dude, because otherwise that's just sad.
---

You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

Hash-Brown posted...

Not really.

Also the whole idea of swimming in the middle of the Atlantic is freaky. Knowing that there is miles of nothing between you and the bottom.

There's actually miles of water. You sound like such a coward.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

BostonPaddy posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

jborgan posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

BostonPaddy, why aren't you posting on your main? Just curious. I can only assume it's because you fully realize what a tool you're being right now.

It was banned for hateful comments about gay marriage.

This is just too surprising. I nearly went into cardiac arrest.

DuranOfForcena posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

BostonPaddy, why aren't you posting on your main? Just curious. I can only assume it's because you fully realize what a tool you're being right now.

who is his main

Apparently, someone who hates gays because their God told them to.

Believe the lies.

I know you wouldn't actually read any serious response I gave anyway. That much is clear from your failure to list a few books you've read and to give summaries on them. Since we're talking about the Bible, why don't you give a summary on a book or two in it that you've read? Most are quite short.

What I believe is that your main is banned, and there is a reason behind it, and another user provided what seems to be a pretty likely reason.

You don't post serious responses. At best, you post obnoxious, irrelevant drivel. And, again, there's no use obliging you with information that can be obtained from a quick google search. Even if I posted it, you would deny me and try to slander me further. Stop wasting everyone's time.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

jborgan posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

BostonPaddy, why aren't you posting on your main? Just curious. I can only assume it's because you fully realize what a tool you're being right now.

It was banned for hateful comments about gay marriage.

This is just too surprising. I nearly went into cardiac arrest.

DuranOfForcena posted...

AzureAnihilator posted...

BostonPaddy, why aren't you posting on your main? Just curious. I can only assume it's because you fully realize what a tool you're being right now.

who is his main

Apparently, someone who hates gays because their God told them to.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

BostonPaddy, why aren't you posting on your main? Just curious. I can only assume it's because you fully realize what a tool you're being right now.
---

You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

What's best here is I didn't even state which religion this was about. People are reaching a conclusion because what I said lines up with certain religions, and yet they ask it of me to provide proof or cite sources. I clearly don't need to do that.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

-GuardianSloth- posted...

Except that's exactly what TC is asking him to do.

Please, I encourage you to highlight for me where I've asked him to do anything at all. I can't seem to recall and I even re-read my post to no avail.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

BostonPaddy posted...

Name a book that you've read and summarize it.

Don't be coy.

Which would prove what, beyond that I can google any book and give you a summary of the contents?

Let's say I did list a few dozen books off. Your next argument would have been that I had just googled them, and you would continue this sad attempt at bringing me low with irrelevant discussion about my literary experience.

Much to your dissatisfaction and my boredom, this conversation is going nowhere fast. If you want to hook me, you're going to need a better bait.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

And now we're straight down to attacking me personally. That didn't take long.

Soon I shall be strung up in the town square and my pyre shall be lit.

My blaspheming cannot go unpunished. It's totally cool to kill people as long as they don't have the same God as you.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.

BostonPaddy posted...

DuranOfForcena posted...

-GuardianSloth- posted...

Imagine having to butcher and distort something this much in order to find something wrong with it.

there is 0 (zero) butchering and distorting in the OP though

No pretty much the entire thing is an ignorant, disingenuous distortion unworthy of response

And yet here you are, responding. Not to me, directly, but by giving your views on the post you are indirectly responding to it. You're harshing my vibes, man.

ShinigamiSoul posted...

fire_bolt posted...

ShinigamiSoul posted...

Lol. The only thing that will put you in hell is rejecting Jesus Christ. The only thing that will get you into heaven is accepting Jesus Christ.

Aside from that, works and actions have nothing to do with where you end up for eternity. What your actions on earth DO determine is the degree of punishment you receive in hell or how much treasures you receive in heaven.

Cool story bro. Got even one shred of proof to back it up?

Ephesians 2:8

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

Ephesians 2:9

Not of works, lest any man should boast.

So if I write a book about my own God, I can use that book as evidence that he's real... wonderful. I'll go get my money bowl ready.
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You only matter as much as I allow you to matter.
Shut your mouth, and know your role.