Lurker > metoolfan

“What's the word, kid?” charon continued to ramble, still not blinking. “Make a wrong turn next to where your heart should be? It's alright – we do what we ca-”

charon's words were interrupted as GFK mustered all his strength into a kick aimed squarely at charon's ribcage. Caught off-guard, charon doubled over and GFK weakly grasped the nail gun with his other, undamaged hand, firing a shot into charon's shoulder and recoiling slightly from the blast.

He wouldn't lose. Not like this.


The nail enters. And it makes you think. What would happen. What would've happened if you'd been more alert. What would've happened if you'd headbutted him instead of trying to break his wrist? What would've happened if she'd never said goodbye?

This kid looks at me with this determined look in his eyes. He wants to win. He doesn't want to die. It's a goal in direct opposition to mine. Only one of use can go home with the grand prize. Only one of us can win the Showcase Showdown. Sorry, Bob Barker – looks like his price was wrong.

I size him up in a split-second. He's wobbling, unsteady, an old man in the body of a twentysomething. He wants to win... but he knows he can't. He lifts his gun and fires – it's a blind shot in the vicinity of my head. He's hoping he'll cut off part of my frontal lobe. Not much point in going for something that doesn't exist.

The nail flies through the air, but it's too late. My weapon is raised and at the ready. The flag is unfurled, and the little point manages to catch the nail, jarring it off its predestined path to my face. I stagger back a bit, but the kid is completely thrown off – is it the flag, standing there proudly that does it? Is it the knowledge that he failed? I don't know. I don't care. I run up to him and wrap the flag around his head. He kicks against my grip, struggles a bit, but he gives up in the end. Everyone does.

He slips out of my grasp like a dead puppet, his chosen weapon rattling on the concrete. And I wonder if things would've been different for me if I hadn't gotten out of bed this morning. If I hadn't made the choices I'd made.

I look at the kid, dead at my feet. Cities crumble, empires fall to dust. And in spite of a nail, some things never change.

Time to keep walking. Time to keep scowling.


Panthera sighed.

It was bad enough that he'd woken up on top of a multistory building due to a painful electric shock. It was even worse that he had received a very loud (and kinda cat-like) message that said in no uncertain terms that he was supposed to be out killing other random people until only one was left. And it was even worse that his only weapon to accomplish this was a frying pan.

But the absolute worst part was probably the fact that he was also decked out in a frilly pink dress with whole gloves and a little gold tiara-crown thing for no discernible reason.

Yeah, not the best way to start off his day.

He looked down off the building and couldn't see anyone immediately beneath him. He tried scanning the horizon and even put his hand up to his ear to listen for far-off noises (since that's what you do when you want to hear farther), to no success. He sighed, letting his hands rest on his elegant dress. He really didn't want to go out there and kill people – and he certainly didn't want to do so dressed like this – but he supposed it was better than waiting around to be ambushed and killed.

Panthera turned around and began walking towards the stairwell that led downstairs – but he heard footsteps coming from below. He froze, and suddenly a man appeared there, out of breath, clutching his sides.

--
"With Harry, it's cool. We don't speak a lot and he doesn't care if I smile or if I know who the next team we play is." - Benoit Assou-Ekotto

CHAPTER 5 AS GUEST-WRITTEN BY ED BELLIS

Dull light. Dull head. Loud voices. Gotta get a grip. There's enough trouble out here in this dead city full of corpses. I'm not jonesing to join 'em. Mouth tastes like dirt. Sand. Grass. Maybe they're euphemisms. Ever stop to wonder about the symbolism behind waking up in a leisure suit sprawled out over a bus stop with a collar around your neck rigged to explode if you don't slaughter a buncha random people? Don't need a liberal-arts degree to understand the world's a cruel place.

Name's vcharon. Call me charon. Weapon's an American flag, if you can call it that – thing's coiled like a rolled-up newspaper with a little point at the end, like you'd see on a blackboard in a classroom. School was never my area of expertise. Too much trouble. Too little time. Too many broken hearts overflowing with anxiety and the black cascade they call death. Death and I got nice and acquainted over the years. Looks like he's gonna be reading me one more bedtime story tonight.

Street looks empty. Competitors have probably been scattered all over, tossed around like a chest full of drawers full of toys full of broken memories. Never broke a dame's heart before, but they seem to have a habit of breaking mine. It's an obsession. The one thing feminism brought into the world was the ability for women to dig their high heels deeper into men's arteries. I clutch my weapon tighter as I patrol the street. God bless America.

There's only so much room inside a man. You've got things that shouldn't be there taking up all of the room and occupying all of the board but not paying any of the rent. Things like a man's place in the world. I don't have time to wander around engaging in senseless killing. I do enough of that inside my heart. Population: me and my therapist, code name hip flask. We get along great. No scheduling problems. Always returns my calls.

You scowl. Maybe this is the residue of your lonely existence, cast out like a fishing lure in a shallow pond. You feel like your heart's about to explode from the sheer audacity of it, the ludicrousness of waking up in a city-sized deathquarium. All you can do is keep walking. All you can do is keep scowling.

And that's when you notice the nail gun pointed squarely at your face.


GrapefruitKing was puzzled. He'd woken up just up the street from this block, and he'd crept slowly around the street, using the overhanging displays of empty buildings for some degree of cover. Then he saw this man, clutching what appeared to be a bundled-up American flag. He didn't seem to pay GFK any mind, even when he was almost on top of the guy, nail gun at the ready.

GFK had made up his mind along the walk down the street. He was incredibly nervous going into this bizarre contest; he had no idea if he'd be able to pull the trigger when push came to shove, even if it was at the cost of his own life. But he'd steeled himself to get through it. And then he saw this man, and he readied himself, and he pointed the nail gun right into his eyes -

And the man didn't even blink. He just stared at GFK with these odd, unblinking eyes. And GFK completely froze.

charon gave a raspy chuckle. “Nothing to lose. Do what you gotta do. But you need more than nails to hold yourself together, kid.”

Regaining his composure – why wasn't this guy bothering to defend himself? – GFK pulled the trigger on the nail gun, but charon batted his hand away, and the nail went flying harmlessly into the nearby building. charon grabbed GFK's wrist and bent it backwards painfully; a loud cracking noise echoed in the empty street.

GFK arched his head back in pain. He couldn't lose here – not to this random crazy person! His fingers still barely clutched onto the nail gun, perhaps through sheer force of willpower.

--
"whats a matter afried i might boobs punch you" - ertyu

The wielder of the Morningstar dodged again, but this time he tripped over something - one of the fallen magnums. He was sent tumbling to the floor and Jeffraze saw his chance, leaping forward with the Riot Shield and landing a crushing blow to Bballman that left him on the brink of unconsciousness and in no condition to fight. Well, he was certainly in no condition to fight after JeffRaze picked up the magnum and shot him point-blank in the face, decapitating him.

JeffRaze bent over, panting. He saw two magnums on the ground. He didn't know which one he had, but he took the other one anyway. "Don't mind if I do," he said, chuckling as he walked away from the headless body of Bballman.

* * *

"Oh good, I was hoping that would happen," said Minio. "That settles that," she said. She began the process of waking up the only competitor that had not yet been awoken.

--
"oh my god oh my god a spider just crawled INTO MY KEYBOARD" -pxlated
"It just wants some web access." - Ness26

Chapter 4

"OK so...my portable holes put people to sleep..." said AfroSquirrel.
"Yes, it's the Pokemon attack Dark Void. You mean you hadn't heard of it?"
"No."
"Oh, well, whatever, DEWOTT USE HYDRO PUMP!"
Dewott let loose a massive torrent of water from its mouth, but it missed completely. Squirrel smirked.

"God dammit..." groaned GenesisSaga. "Welp, last resort time." She sighed and flashed AfroSquirrel.
Afrosquirrel's jaw dropped. "USE SHELL BLADE!" she screamed. And this time it worked, for Dewott used its shortsword shell...things to maximum effect, decapitating AfroSquirrel with a raw display of strength.

"Good...good..." said GenSag. "Dewott, return." Dewott was returned to his Pokeball and she approached Arcanine to check if he was OK. She tried to shake him awake, but nothing doing. It was a somehow deeper sleep than usual...

* * *

On the sharp spoon, Minio sampled a fine wine while Comm watched jealously.

* * *

JeffRaze was headed down the side of a long street securely behind his riot shield. He had elected to play this game cautiously for he knew that, at any moment, he could be ambushed. He was in a downtown area and every building, every nook and cranny, could hold a potential enemy. So Jeff moved slowly, protecting his front and left side with the riot shield. In his other hand he held a devastating magnum.

He heard movement coming around a corner just ahead of him, and stayed stock still, crouching behind the shield and extending his arm in front of him. He tried to stop his arm from shaking but he was unable to do so. He cursed himself, for he knew his aim must remain steady.

BBallman7 also knew somebody was around the corner - he had heard the sudden intake of breath, the planting of the riot shield firmly on the ground. He changed his pace, slowing down and creeping towards the corner of the building. He raised his own magnum slowly and quickly poked it around the corner, firing it.

JeffRaze saw another magnum suddenly appear and panicked, shooting at it. Both shots fired at exactly the same time and hit their targets. The magnums both flew into the air, and both men yelped in pain as their wrists had been severely sprained by the impact.

BBallman recovered first and used his other weapon, a Morningstar, to try and bludgeon JeffRaze before he could get his defences up. JeffRaze saw him just in time, however, and raised the Riot Shield, knocking him away.

The Morningstar was a unique weapon in that the sharp, pointy bit was on a chain - meaning BBallman could get around JeffRaze's defence. JeffRaze, however, had no intention of being purely defensive and advanced on BBallman, thrusting his Riot Shield forward in attempt to overpower his opponent. BBallman only just dodged out of the way, and JeffRaze spun quickly, only just managing to deflect the vicious blow that BBallman aimed at him with his Morningstar.

BBallman did not let up, swinging again and again. The Morningstar finally landed a cut on JeffRaze's shoulder, but JeffRaze barely felt it, such was his adrenaline. BBallman's next swing was so wild that he took his arm a long way to the left, and JeffRaze quickly worked out that BBallman could only swing the weapon one way on the return journey. So he flipped his Riot Shield sideways and charged at BBallman full on.

--
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/6.gif

Roronoa Zoro

--
Official Commissioner of the WWE Liquor Basket™

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://i48.tinypic.com/2q8zwvs.png

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/59xiiipngpy.png

Roronoa Zoro

--
"whats a matter afried i might boobs punch you" - ertyu

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://i.imgur.com/j5f3K.gif

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/59xiiipngpy.png

Roronoa Zoro

--
*is XIII_rocks*

Roronoa Zoro

--
"I have a place to live because of FFXI, I lost my virginity because of FFXI, and that's why it's my #5 game of all time" - RPGLord95

Roronoa Zoro

--
Official Commissioner of the WWE Liquor Basket™

Roronoa Zoro

--
Luster Reloaded 7:37pm
THE CALLOUT

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/6.gif

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://www.celebrityclubber.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Sort_of_want.jpg

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://i.imgur.com/j5f3K.gif

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae221/GenesisSaga/XIIIAndManny.jpg

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://img.imgcake.com/Nevest356/1dollagifas.gif

Roronoa Zoro

--
"To be fair to Herman Cain, we can't all be as wise as Slowking when he's wearing the Shellder of knowledge. Look it up, b****es." - Jon Stewart

Roronoa Zoro

--
Luster Reloaded 7:37pm
THE CALLOUT

v

--
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and foremost about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory." - Danny Blanchflower

Roronoa Zoro

--
XIIIiscool (2:47 am): *gets in a car* I'M F***ING COMING FOR YOU RUSTY
RustyMrMokka has left the room.

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://www.mariocube.nl/upload/XIII1008171346.jpg

Roronoa Zoro

--
http://img806.imageshack.us/img806/7351/xiiirocks.jpg

The Falcon in Flight dance move vs. Katnis Everdeen

--
XIIIiscool (2:47 am): *gets in a car* I'M F***ING COMING FOR YOU RUSTY
RustyMrMokka has left the room.

(>^_^)> <(^_^)> <(^_^<)
(>^_^)> <(^_^)> <(^_^<)
(>^_^)> <(^_^)> <(^_^<)

--
This is a homage.

xiii

--
*is XIII_rocks*

xiii

--
"I am the best in the world at everything I do, and I don't have to write it on the back of a T-Shirt to prove it, because I AM it." - Chris Jericho

XIII

--
since mines is Devil may cry i probley would it up to the spiderboss and get killed off after that then ill yell LIGHT - ertyu on how far he'd make it in DMC

XIII

--
Luster Reloaded: Damn, that's some crazy s***.

xiii

--
XIII_rocks: He's British

xiii

--
2011 WWYD Champion
I do things for money and games.

XIII

--
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and foremost about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory." - Danny Blanchflower

XIII

--
Official Board 8 ~Trendstter~

XIII

--
http://img.imgcake.com/Nevest356/1dollagifas.gif

XIII

--
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/59xiiipngpy.png

XIII

--
http://img.imgcake.com/22763810150194882301443717534644274676943735581nmu.jpg

XIII

--
"With Harry, it's cool. We don't speak a lot and he doesn't care if I smile or if I know who the next team we play is." - Benoit Assou-Ekotto

XIII

--
http://img.imgcake.com/Xiiijpgen.jpg - Me, as drawn by Ayvuir (who is also a giant douche)

XIII

--
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5261/5567070428_ee1dcd3590.jpg

XIII

--
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5261/5567070428_ee1dcd3590.jpg

XIII

--
http://i48.tinypic.com/2q8zwvs.png

Raze/eddv

Raze/eddv - 2
Reg/ctes - 1

--
"I have a place to live because of FFXI, I lost my virginity because of FFXI, and that's why it's my #5 game of all time" - RPGLord95

Eggman

--
*is XIII_rocks*

Thank god that's 10.>_>

--
*is XiC*
"The rest of the stuff they said is right but my calculations have the damage at 213,896,016." - Team Rocket Elite

For my first nom, I'm seconding "Objection"/"cornered"/whatever

--
*is XiC*
"The rest of the stuff they said is right but my calculations have the damage at 213,896,016." - Team Rocket Elite

Deathmatches should be legal. They're not disruptive unless you actually click on the topic, and at that point you know what you're getting into, surely? >_>

--
*is XIII_rocks*

OMFG YESSS

.........................,............................................ __ . __.............................
.................................,................................../’`: : `\,---`.„.....................
....................................,............................/|,-‘`¯¯`\(o)_ \,----,,,_...........
....,.............„~*¯¯`”\,.............. _„_.............( `\(o),,_/` ¯ : o : : :o `-, ......
.....,.........../ : · :(“, ~;*’¯¯¯”\, (_,--``”~,......\ : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : `\.....
.....,...........| : · :,/`,-*~;~··-„,/ (‘` ``)/· ,\....,/` : : :_„„,: : : : : : :: : : : \...
.....,..........| : · / ,/`,--\ \’`c\,---„1 ‹’`--(_,/ ./ : : :,/` · · ): : :: : : : : : : : |...
......,..........) : µ’` .\ (c) `¯ . . ·`), . ,-~`..... \ : : :| · · '”\, : : : :: : : : : ::/...
......,......../` ,/_~-, .`;;`„-„,__,./, ```/....... `\: : :\ · · · · `*-.,: : : : : :,-‘ ....
.........,.....`-/¨;--;~’ `”*-=,=-_ ,) . ,/`...........`› : `\, · · · · · · ¯”~---,--`......
...„„.,.......__\, · ‘, · . . . `\„_,/ ,/;-;_ ............ /``| ./ · · · · · · · : · : „-“..........
.( :·`\,-~*`¯ · · ·`¯` `~--*--~;/`~*`*--, . `1` ./ : |, . . . .---~*”`...............
. \·:··:”*~-,,„„____„„,.-~”`¯`/ / · · · · · ‘\,) , / : :| · : : · ·/................ ...........
...`”’~-,„„„„„„,,~‘`.( · · · ,.__| | · · · ·, `\„/ ,/`: : : / · · · ·| ................ ..........
.........................\`”””` · · ·`’~;-,„,,_)”`_-‘ : : : / · · · · · | .............. ............
......... (`*”-,„,-”¯¯”`-;„· · · · · · , /'``,-~”`¯: : :/ · · · · : |................ ............
.......... | : :(,;-===-„, `\,· · · ,-`| · ·/ : : : | :,/` · · · · · ·| ............... ............
......... . \ : :\, · · · · \\ · `\. ·)· / · / : :\ : :`~,_ · · · · · :: | ............... ............
............ \\,_`~.,_„,.-*\\, `/,/„/` ,/ : : :`’;-.„_ : ¯-, · · · /,................ ............
..............`\,,`”| : :`-,„_„))’`"` ·,/`_„,~*’` · · ( · , ,`)·,-; `’\,......................
............. ,.¬-,--\ : : : : : : : : / · · · · · · · · · · · ·,,-“`.....’-„,-‘.....................
..............| |: :*:\ : : : : : : :_/ „____„„„„,---~*`............... ...................... ....
............./ / : : : `~-„„„„„,.;;`,,.--`........ ..... ......... ................. ................. ....
............| | : : : :|¯ : ,/ ¯ ......... ................. ................ ............... ...... .........
.............\,\,_,„./---~`........... .......... ............. ................... ........................
.......... ............ ................... ................. ...................... .............................

--
*is XIII_rocks*