Lurker > XIII_is_Number1

Chapter 19

Nio's bruising was suddenly an inexplicably healed. She did not understand why, but it was likely because of the rather haunted-looking soul that was now approaching her, a massive sword in hand. She raised Niowrath, ready for anything.

-=-

Panthera panted and sighed. Being escorted around by Regaro certainly had its advantages, but it was also annoying. Reg loved to describe to Panthera the wonders of his kingdom and what he was planning to do with "her" once they had escaped this blasted game. Suddenly, Reg threw out a hand to stop Panthera, halting her progress.

firefdr appeared from around a street corner and stared down both Reg and Panth. The screen narrowed into a widescreen view, and tumbleweed suddenly blew by.

The dramatic, western-style moment was ruined, however, by the fact that fdr burst out laughing at the sight of Panthera, who was bearded but wearing a dress. Regaro was outraged at the disrespect shown towards his lady and sprinted at fdr, who casually fired a lightning bolt from his Master Sword which Regaro only just managed to deflect with Excalibur. As they began to D-D-D-D-D-DUEL, Panthera snuck off, away from them for now.

-=-

bartz had assaulted CrimsonOcean from behind with his giant phallus. CO was shocked to say the least at this development and only just managed to get rid of Bartz with a swipe from the handaxe. She unclipped her UCA title and put it on the floor, and bartz attacked again, swinging the heavy phallus at CO. She raised her arms to protect herself, because she was not the biggest fan of phalluses. The blow was incredibly heavy, almost cracking her arms, but she held firm. She aimed a kick at bartz's phallular (that is now a word) area but this accomplished nothing, because he was using it as his weapon. He grinned and cracked her across the skull with the weapon, dazing her.

CO stumbled back as bartz went in for the kill, but she had the presence of mind to swing a handaxe viciously at him, cutting his arm. In outrage he threw the phallus at her and she ducked. It clattered into the wall.

"Hmm, that was dumb," said bartz. He tried to pick up his weapon again but CO repelled him with wild swings - she was not focussed, for that blow to the head had caused her to see not just double, but triple.

Suddenly DPOblivion appeared with another Phallus and handed it to bartz. "Here, now you have two!" he said, before disappearing.

"OH I GET IT BECAUSE DP IS SHORT FOR DOUBLE PENETRATION, HAHAHA THAT'S HILARIOUS."

bartz laughed, and, new weapon in hand, he moved in for the kill.

"Wait, no, stop." This was saveus_maria, who had arrived on the scene.

"This is stupid. DP isn't even here. There is no way he just appeared out of nowhere and gave you that weapon."
"But-"
"No buts. It didn't happen." saveus_maria smiled as the weapon disappeared from bartz's grip.

"This, however, did." Suddenly she flung her knife, and it hit CO in the side. CO yelped out with agony and bartz seized the opportunity. CO was too busy covering her wound to swing the axes and so bartz was able to get past her defenses, pick up the phallus and swing it with all his might, causing CO's head to dislodge and sending it flying into the sharp spoon. Minio kept it as a souvenir.

"user saveus_maria will save you if you play here," said saveus with a nod. bartz smiled, and they got ready to face each other. knife vs. phallus. Occam's Razor vs. some bizarre Clockwork Orange reference. Go figure.

Unfortunately the battle had taken place on the street by the Mechanic's (yes I did mention this before, in that chapter with the Elimination Chamber) and thus they were by the bomb that Colegreen had set up earlier.

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Chapter 18

cody was satisfied with his play so far. It was surely impossible to breach his defenses from behind with the insurance eddv had added, and with another well-placed Quacko shot he would have even more.

Inwardly eddv screamed but he could do nothing. He was getting sick of the sight of cody's back, and imagined plunging a lawndart into it. This situation was torturous, impossible. He did not know how he could possibly get out of it and for all he knew he was going to be stuck like this either forever, or until he died.

Unfortunately cody's protection had made him arrogant so he did not expect to see Psycho Kenshin ambush him from the side with the lawgiver. The lawgiver fired a shot of raw acidic ectoplasm at cody that cody only just saw in time. He dodged and a ridiculous hole was created in the street in which groinsaws and magnificent pieces of eight could be found.

Minio hurriedly messed with reality to ensure that little embarrassing secret was covered.

Cody fired the quack-o-blitzer at the source of the ectoplasm and Kenshin did well to narrowly dodge the attack. cody kept firing, and Kenshin did all he knew how - he fired back in kind with utterly random shots that could either create ice cream or reach across realities, into Sir Chris' Doctor Doom fanfic, and tickle him somewhat. Fortunately none of these hit their mark UNTIL ONE HIT THE QUACK-O-BLITZER SHOT AND THEY MERGED.

This caused the shot to merge and another DUCKNIX to be formed. However this one was pure evil and malicious and assaulted the living f*** out of Cody and obliterated his head. Kenshin laughed maniacally until he turned around.

Suddenly PIRATEKING2000 had appeared and threw pocket sand in his face. The sand moved through the air and melted through Kenshin's eyeballs, which served to utterly destroy him and his brain. The head of course fell off.

eddv, expecting to die, sighed. Inwardly. Whatever. He waited for the oblivion to overcome him.

And waited.

In the sharp spoon, Minio said: "oh. Well. It seems eddv won't die now since he's not protecting anyone. But uhh I guess he's stuck like that. Sorry bub!" she turned back to her bowl of beer flavoured cat food, which Comm looked at longingly.

THIS WAS AMUSING TO AYVUIR, WHO WALKED PAST IN A COMPLETELY CONSCIOUS STATE ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER.

UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWGIVER WAS ALSO CAPABLE OF BEING POSSESSED BY VICIOUS SPIRITS AND THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED AS THE GHOST OF XIII ENVELOPED THE LAWGIVER, WHICH BEGAN HARRASSING AYVUIR.

"HAHAHA SUCK IT AYV," roared the lawgiver, firing out potentially universe-busting shots with every shot. Ayv ran, for that was all he knew how to do right now.

-=-

Meanwhile, JC continued to hunt for clues but he was not having much luck until he heard Nio scream "MINIO I MISS YOU". This gave him a clue, so he began his search.

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Roronoa Zoro

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THE RARE BREED

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1. I want an AirShark because it would be excellent to win another prize on board 8. I thrive on being "number 1". I am the number 1 board 8 chatter, the number one user on board 8 (~*~Officially~*~), the number one WWYDer, the number one in both my UotY divisions, the number one booker in UCA, the number one RECORD SETTER AND BREAKER, the number one trendsetter, and the number one writer of board 8 battle. I am looking to further expand my resume with a win here, to become NUMBER 1 at something else. Also, sharks are incredibly cool and I feel like something that cool and awesome would suit me very nicely.

2. I score highest on the hexagon game. http://distractionware.com/games/flash/hexagon/

3. I bet on GenesisSaga because logic dictates that she is the favourite given she already has a point.

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1. I want an AirShark because it would be excellent to win another prize on board 8. I thrive on being "number 1". I am the number 1 board 8 chatter, the number one user on board 8 (~*~Officially~*~), the number one WWYDer, the number one in both my UotY divisions, the number one booker in UCA, the number one RECORD SETTER AND BREAKER, the number one trendsetter, and the number one writer of board 8 battle. I am looking to further expand my resume with a win here, to become NUMBER 1 at something else. Also, sharks are incredibly cool and I feel like something that cool and awesome would suit me very nicely.

2. I score highest on the hexagon game. http://distractionware.com/games/flash/hexagon/

3. I bet on GenesisSaga because logic dictates that she is the favourite given she already has a point.

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[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

Shut up dammit

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XIII_rocks. The cream of XIII fanboyism.

I said shut up GTM

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ddp

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XIII_rocks. The cream of XIII fanboyism.

61.

Awesome.

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From: GTM | #003
isnt it like 7am there

6:30

I was already up late and Dante kept me up even late with his Danteness

just gonna check how many topics we ended up with first

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Since this is now your board I thought I should ask permission.

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Oh hey look I have an alt for just such an occasion!

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