Youre not supposed to live with it your supposed to learn from your mistakes, alter your behavior moving forward, and use said previous experiences to make better choices.
I feel for you. I'm 57 and have been "friend-zoned" my entire life. It sucks, but you live with it and hope that someday you will meet the right person.
I certainly am better at maintaining a relationship than you are
I've slept on it and I'm feeling a lot better. She texted me this morning saying, well saying good morning, like she does every morning. Truthfully I'm a bit jaded and don't really care that much, I think I just won't respond.
My thoughts on this is that there's literally nothing wrong with having a girl who is a friend, in fact it tends to be a sign that you're well adjusted.
I tagged you cus you're the wisest person on this board
Why would bsp be considered a toxic male?
Why do you single me out?
But I said "not usually".
#HONESTYIt comes down to ignorance. Toxic masculinity isn't only pushed by men. Women are some of the biggest offenders when it comes to perpetuating that negative thinking. I remember complaining about bullying to my aunt back when I was in elementary school, and her response was basically "be a man." In my personal experience, there is no difference when it comes to gender and forwarding the ideals of toxic masculinity. Again, that's just my personal experience.
Since TC understandably wants to get the topic on track this is my last post, regardless of response. I'm sorry these things drag so long.
i was literally at some subreddit just awhile ago and some dude on there was talking how brutal it is to live at only 100k in cali, and everyone there were sympathizing and cant even imagine making less than100k lol. i live in cali too and make 50k and live pretty comfortable, i have a roomate though, and i also love my job.
Personal problems, no. Blaming society and women for all their issues, yes, as there should be.
And issues with men talking about their personal problems could be toxic masculinity on the part of the accusers, not the person with the problem. You have it backwards.
I am a mad scientist.
It's funny that TC expected "no" to get few votes
when almost anyone who is female would probably answer "no."
Undoubtedly
That's fine. My follow up points out that being open with emotions should be part of that though, which is not considered masculine.
Also what Gladius said in post 123
Teaching boys to be more masculine is not the way to stop the issues we are seeing with young men today. The bigger issue is to teach them to communicate and advocate for themselves; not be passive and afraid. That goes for boys and girls, as I want my daughters to know how to advocate for themselves.
This has nothing to do with being men or masculinity.
What other compromise is there?
TC used to have an axe to grind against perputally single underachieving men (though he seems to have moved on).
What about men who don't exhibit that ability? Men who are more passive, submissive, don't like confrontation, etc? What about the men who just can't really be assertive because it's simply not their nature? What's your thoughts there? (Geniinely curious)
Giving a firm handshake and take control of the room is the worst one here. The former is men seeing even an introduction as an interaction in which you need to dominate people. That's a really unhealthy way to see the world. Not every space needs to be dominated or controlled.
On top of that, even in this mindset these aren't universally positive traits. They're often negative when applied to women. A woman who tries to crush your hand and control a room is generally described as bossy, bitchy and unladylike.
There's also the unsaid implication that men that don't fit these roles are lesser as men, even though not everyone fits this mold.
Not automatically, although the example you're giving is identical to the one I gave.
"Being a father figure" is insanely vague and at best encompasses many exclusive traits. Putting one's self in harm to protect their family isn't just for men.
Masculinity isnt an exact science. Its certainly not black and white, or all or nothing.
I am of the belief that even if you disagree with the way society currently operates, you should still put your best foot forward to try and make it work.
For instance, just reclusing ones self away from society, and letting the world trample all over you is not something Id consider a masculine or a feminine trait. Its the trait of a loser.
and believe it or not you can be a masculine loser as well. Like I said, its not all or nothing.
That's kinda making my point for me.
I wonder why in a patriarchal society having a specific type of performed masculinity would be beneficial to you. (And detrimental to you if you don't possess it.)
I don't think this is something that can easily be dismissed as a semantics argument, it's literally the root of the problem at the heart of toxic masculinity.
Masculinity is not required for any of these things. Survival itself is not characterized by one's ability to be masculine, even in modern society.
what does it say of men who take a different path? Those who are content with where they're at socially
or fucked by a shitty corporate power structure that an individual alone cannot change
or if they aren't in a position of financial stability?
They're not men? Not masculine?
That seems to really flatten the experience of what it means to be a man in society in ways which validate and uphold the structures trying to limit how men can experience and take part in society.
Lol, what. I dont expect my husband to take my mom out.
We dont go out much. Kids allergies actually make going out to eat stressful. While we could afford to go out, eating at home is easier.
In the summer my husband plays golf once a week. But that does not cost thousands.
But maybe we are basic. Nobody would have any idea how much he makes based on the life we live. We live in a middle class neighborhood. Our splurges are travel.
What do you rich guys do for a living? I'm at 130k
youre only proving my point tbh
look do what you do thats great, its just ridiculous to me too characterize spending a grand a week on bars and restaurants as a healthy social life
if I made six figures I'm pretty sure I would never log into Gamefaqs.Fandom.Com
money makes people say some really stupid shit
I think it can also be as simple as avoiding the might makes right in favor of might for right.
Or basically Great Power Great Responsibility.
Maybe so. 230k house in Scottsdale Arizona? Must be a dump because in Scottsdale dumps usually sell for 800k to a million. I would love to look this house up.
Bullshit
I spent $18,000 last year and that was ALL my expenses. That is all household bills, food, everything. Even includes my property taxes and insurance on my house. Granted I have my home and vehicle completely paid off but that stuff was paid off quickly because cost of living is so low here and I have a good job/free insurance and so I was able to pay that stuff off quickly.
It costs me about $1,500 a month to live. That is all bills that encompasses everything. Most of the stuff i enjoy doing doesn't cost much money. Reading, listening to music, movies/gaming and even when I "go out" it is hiking, biking, nature stuff that only cost me gas to drive to a destination.
So yeah my cost of living is very cheap but I also understand not everyone enjoys Midwestern lifestyle living out where life is slower and entertainment/big city options are less here. I like it though.