Holy shit my dad got me a book of Dad jokes for my birthday.

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Current Events » Holy shit my dad got me a book of Dad jokes for my birthday.
ITT: One a day until I run out.

Day 1:

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

2/10, this one's not very funny.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
Was that the opening joke in the book?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDyXIXyAZq0
Please consider adopting a cat from your SPCA or local animal shelter.
__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?
Yep.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
Re-gift the book back to him on Father's day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDyXIXyAZq0
Please consider adopting a cat from your SPCA or local animal shelter.
Tagging, this should be fun

Also, I think you're legally required to become a dad when you get through the whole book...
"The starting point is of the utmost importance"
DarkFists posted...
Also, I think you're legally required to become a dad when you get through the whole book...

Think I saw them mentioning having a 2 year old in another topic
TheSavageDragon posted...
Think I saw them mentioning having a 2 year old in another topic
Oh, that explains the gift then, gotta get working on those dad jokes asap
"The starting point is of the utmost importance"
Day 2:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

Because it was two-tired!

10/10, this one's a classic I have always loved.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
__starsnostars posted...
Re-gift the book back to him on Father's day.
Lol
Romans 12:21 - "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 2:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

Because it was two-tired!

10/10, this one's a classic I have always loved.

Outstanding set-up, flawless delivery. Comedy classic.
http://i.imgur.com/6eF0W.gif
Post #11 was unavailable or deleted.
randy_123r posted...
*slaps knee*

Aht! Aht! Aht!
"Life is not earned by begging. Life is earned through doing puzzles" - Mr. Puzzles
I enjoy
Nothing to report here
Tag.
All posters and events depicted in this post are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or posters, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Day 3:

What do computers eat for a snack?

Microchips

3/10. Better than the rubber toe one, at least.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
Post #16 was unavailable or deleted.
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Yep.

Oof, weak opening
My metal band, Ivory King, has 2 songs out now - allmylinks.com/ivorykingtx (all of our links there so you can choose which one you'd prefer to use)
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 3:

What do computers eat for a snack?

Microchips

3/10. Better than the rubber toe one, at least.
Disagree. Rubber toe has been the best so far.
In simplicity, utility. Through utility, simplicity.
This is the content I want on my Current Events board.

Tag.
[This signature is viewable with an active GameFAQs Gold subscription.]
Roberto was terrible (they OPENED with that?!), Two-tired was epic, microchips was decent.
[This signature is viewable with an active GameFAQs Gold subscription.]
Post #21 was unavailable or deleted.
Sorry I was running behind this morning. I'll have to post it when I get home.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
They've all been good so far.
Have you seen the Yellow Sign?
Quando omni flunkus moritati
Ok, day 4.

What's the best thing about Switzerland l?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Another 10/10, did not see that one coming.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
Post #25 was unavailable or deleted.
Post #26 was unavailable or deleted.
Tag
http://avatar.xboxlive.com/avatar/emblem%20boy/avatar-body.png
haters gonna hate
Day 5:

Why do humming birds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

5/10, mildly amusing but nothing special.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
ITT: One a day until I run out.

Day 1:

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

2/10, this one's not very funny.
It's not funny but I admire the nerve to use it as the opener.
I are Serious Cat
This is serious thread
Hehe, your Dad sounds pretty cool!!
You can tell him I said that.
"Whatever the reason you're on Mars, I'm glad you're there, and I wish I was with you." ~Carl Sagan.
Currently playing: Flight Simulator X.~PC
__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?
__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?


RetuenOfDevsman posted...

Yep.


You should have, Yes

....It was the first step.

Has your Father taught you nothing?
"Whatever the reason you're on Mars, I'm glad you're there, and I wish I was with you." ~Carl Sagan.
Currently playing: Flight Simulator X.~PC
Day 6:

If a child is refusing to take a nap, is he...

resisting a rest ?

7/10, at least worth a chuckle.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
Day 6 has been my fav so far
In a koi pond there is usually one our of four koi that are fake.

They are usually tagged as A, B, C and the D koi.
Gamertag: Kegfarms, BF code: 2033480226, Treasure Cruise code 318,374,355, Steam: Kegfarms, Switch: SW-1900-5502-7912
Post #35 was unavailable or deleted.
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 6:

If a child is refusing to take a nap, is he...

resisting a rest ?

7/10, at least worth a chuckle.

That's at least a 9.
http://i.imgur.com/6eF0W.gif
My son and GF got me one of those for Father's Day last year
Paula Wood. My love, my life. 1980-2021
https://store.steampowered.com/wishlist/profiles/76561198210788964/#sort=order
Day 7:

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way

9/10, you have to emulate the right accent in your head to make it work but it's pretty stinking funny anyway.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 7:

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way

9/10, you have to emulate the right accent in your head to make it work but it's pretty stinking funny anyway.
There was a family feud episode and had a foreign family. The question was something like what would be horrible to be missing at a wedding. Apparently Steve had already told them food isn't at a wedding it's at the reception after.

Anyways sounds like dude is saying pasta and Steve is upset having to repeat himself but he was actually saying pastor.
I put my heart and soul into my work and I fear I have lost my mind in the process
Sufferedphoenix posted...

There was a family feud episode and had a foreign family. The question was something like what would be horrible to be missing at a wedding. Apparently Steve had already told them food isn't at a wedding it's at the reception after.

Anyways sounds like dude is saying pasta and Steve is upset having to repeat himself but he was actually saying pastor.


I'm going to watch that clip after work.
Gamertag: Kegfarms, BF code: 2033480226, Treasure Cruise code 318,374,355, Steam: Kegfarms, Switch: SW-1900-5502-7912
Day 8:

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

7/10, I kinda like the pun but gross humor is not really my thing personally.

Actually, make that an 8/10, there was a whole nother level to it that I completely missed at first. It's dancing because you blew your nose ! Sorry, I'm slow sometimes.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
[deleted]
RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Day 8:

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

7/10, I kinda like the pun but gross humor is not really my thing personally.
A classic from grade school.
Have you seen the Yellow Sign?
Quando omni flunkus moritati
What do you call the leader of a medical team?

The team bleed
Gamertag: Kegfarms, BF code: 2033480226, Treasure Cruise code 318,374,355, Steam: Kegfarms, Switch: SW-1900-5502-7912
Are you a dad
twylite sprinkle
http://tinyurl.com/jeqyas3 https://tinyurl.com/mgvx7h2
deoxxys posted...
Are you a dad

TheSavageDragon posted...
Think I saw them mentioning having a 2 year old in another topic

As a soon to be dad I'm tracking this as homework. Also Roberto was a great opener. Even made some of you cringe which is part of the dad joke standards and practices as I've been told.
Trying is the first step towards failure, so just dont give it a shot and you cant dissapoint.
__starsnostars posted...
Was that the opening joke in the book?
The opening joke in every dad joke book is a mirror.
If you're not smart enough to survive, you are basically just food for something smarter.
tag
It's more than good, it's alive!
Warning: May contain stone hat pieces http://i.imgur.com/N6v5qZx.jpg
deoxxys posted...
Are you a dad
Eh. I'm pretty bad at it but yeah.
There's a difference between canon and not-stupid.
Current Events » Holy shit my dad got me a book of Dad jokes for my birthday.
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