Meeting a group of new people that know eachother.

How is this accomplished?

My gf is upset that I was quiet after joining her and her family for Thanksgiving.

I feel like I can do alright if meeting one new person. Or if everyone is new to eachother. But I struggled to find ways to talk since most of the topics were about their family and events that I had no context for.

I tried asking questions and bringing up my own experiences when I could, but like. I dunno how I could have done better.

Learn what you can about the people your meeting ahead of time. Ask them good questions and find common interests. Be a good listener.

Sounds like she's being very unreasonable and they didn't try to include you very much.

Man it, really depends. Some people will happily accept you into their folds.

Then you have some groups that are so tight-knit, they won't even give you the time, no matter how friendly you try to be with them. At least in a group setting.
What works for me is to befriend some of these people individually, somewhere away from their typical group of friends. Get on good terms with a decent amonof of them (not all), I say. Next thing you know, you've wormed your way into their circle.

furb posted...

Learn what you can about the people your meeting ahead of time. Ask them good questions and find common interests. Be a good listener.

Isn't that exactly what he was doing?

furb posted...

Learn what you can about the people your meeting ahead of time. Ask them good questions and find common interests. Be a good listener.

That's good advice. I can see your gf being upset if you didn't try but it can also be hard to mesh in in existing crowds unless you vibe really well or they are a very open group.

Ooooooranges posted...

Sounds like she's being very unreasonable and they didn't try to include you very much.

I feel like the mother was trying. Like, she seemed to be the only one that actively asked me things to add to a topic or something.

It not her job too, but I do wish my gf tried to steer topics to things I could contribute too or something. I felt like I had to do it solo tbh.

Kitt posted...

Man it, really depends. Some people will happily accept you into their folds.

Then you have some groups that are so tight-knit, they won't even give you the time, no matter how friendly you try to be with them. At least in a group setting.
What works for me is to befriend some of these people individually, somewhere away from their typical group of friends. Get on good terms with a decent amonof of them (not all), I say. Next thing you know, you've wormed your way into their circle.

Yea, I am hoping to try and again and maybe focus on one family member at a time. Obviously not ignore the group, but do it in pieces.

It just sucks because my gf said I did fine when we left even though I felt like I didnt. But then this morning she sends a text saying I need to put more effort in.

I asked folks at work and my friends and have been trying to search Youtube vids on charisma. So figured Id ask Gfaq too.

If the family spent the entire time talking about other family members or events only relevant to the family, and refused to provide context or explanation when asked, then it doesn't sound like you're the one with the problem TC.

I think it would have been more helpful if you spent time engaging in more 1 on 1 conversations with people so you can figure out some shared interests or hobbies and try using that build off of. It seems like the family as a whole just wasn't that welcoming though.

This happened