Was about to say this. A lot of women Ive known basically have gotten royally screwed over and trapped because they had a good (at the time) partner prior to having a kid. Then they basically had to function as a parent to 2 children.
wait I never read any of this. I have read about her husband not pulling his weight. She was a good poster, hope all is going well.It was a big topic a few years back. It stuck out in my memory because there was a big split in who thought that was appropriate, given that as you noticed, most posts are about grievances she has with her husband.
That's a shame. Being a good dad is so easy given society's expectations (i.e. do more than nothing and you're ahead of the curve).blonde guy blinking gif
It was a big topic a few years back. It stuck out in my memory because there was a big split in who thought that was appropriate, given that as you noticed, most posts are about grievances she has with her husband.
blonde guy blinking gif
The topic I remember was her getting attention from one guy at a bar but not taking the phone number or initiating the flirting/interaction... CE was split over how she should feel (good versus guilty)Said she was attracted to him, enjoyed it, and thus briefly entertained it enough to get offered a number and an invitation out of the bar which she says she didn't follow up on. She didn't initiate, but initiating isn't expected sequencing even for interested single women at bars. Also commentary about not wearing a ring.
I mean...just being there is the bare minimum and a lot of guys out there don't even do that...sadly, Cleo's husband seems to be among them.I've worked at every level of elementary education the last 15 years and can assure you, society's expectations of a father are more than "ezpz nothing." Sadly a lot of parents, all genders included, can't do that either. Especially when we dive into what being there should mean.
Said she was attracted to him, enjoyed it, and thus briefly entertained it enough to get offered a number and an invitation out of the bar which she says she didn't follow up on. She didn't initiate, but initiating isn't expected sequencing even for interested single women at bars. Also commentary about not wearing a ring.
No one's a bad person for this specifically. But CE's so wildly reactionary towards the slightest hint of pseudo-cheating under any circumstance and would destroy a dude for this.
I don't remember the phone number bit (seems like something I *would* remember) but no way to be certain now I guess...Accepting a phone number isn't even always a bad thing in a vacuum. It's a safer/polite way to diffuse and escape a situation you're not actually going forward with.
I *think* I agree with your "expected sequencing" description though "she went to a bar and flirted with guys" still carries a different image from "she went to a bar and a guy flirted with her", especially as reactionary CE can be (agree there).
Was about to say this. A lot of women Ive known basically have gotten royally screwed over and trapped because they had a good (at the time) partner prior to having a kid. Then they basically had to function as a parent to 2 children.Good thing my fiancee is already used to my childishness
Cleo_IISo I see that whole "concern about stirring up shit" act was bullshit.
Everyone's curious about your life and situation
So I see that whole "concern about stirring up shit" act was bullshit.
The topic I remember was her getting attention from one guy at a bar but not taking the phone number or initiating the flirting/interaction... CE was split over how she should feel (good versus guilty)This. It was so tame lmao. I was bad for liking the attention or something. Cant remember.
Im fine. Ive been so swamped with work and my kid that I barely have time for anything else. Including dealing with my marriage. Though we hope to start therapy soon. I dont know where some of these rumors come from. My husband has never cared that I post here or compared it to what hes done. I did go out to get drinks while on work trips but only one guy asked for my number. This was like 4-5 years ago maybe? I told my husband all of it and he thought it was funny so I dont know why that one poster keeps dredging it up and twisting it to make it more than it was. We arent against all flirting with the opposite sex. Its the lying and hiding that I take issue with. Ive never hid from my husband that I post here or anything else. Ive never cheated on him or spoke to someone romantically behind his back.I'm glad that you're ok.
hey Cleo! glad to know you are doing fine, all things considered.No worries. Probably was someone else. My husband has never been the jealous type and hasnt ever cared that I post here.
i'd like to apologize, i didn't mean to spread any rumors or anything like that, i was just taking a guess at why you might not be posting here anymore after what was going down when we last heard from you. i guess i must be misremembering things, because i thought i remember you saying he compared what he was doing texting behind your back to you posting here. maybe i'm just remembering someone else's take on the situation and mistakenly attributing it to having come from you. so, sorry about that. in any case, i hope you are well and that when you guys start your therapy it proves to be fruitful.
I'm glad that you're ok.Thanks.
Im fine. Ive been so swamped with work and my kid that I barely have time for anything else. Including dealing with my marriage. Though we hope to start therapy soon. I dont know where some of these rumors come from. My husband has never cared that I post here or compared it to what hes done. I did go out to get drinks while on work trips but only one guy asked for my number. This was like 4-5 years ago maybe? I told my husband all of it and he thought it was funny so I dont know why that one poster keeps dredging it up and twisting it to make it more than it was. We arent against all flirting with the opposite sex. Its the lying and hiding that I take issue with. Ive never hid from my husband that I post here or anything else. Ive never cheated on him or spoke to someone romantically behind his back.
Thanks everyone. I genuinely appreciate the kindness. It hasnt been an easy few months.We're always here if you need us.
I dont know where some of these rumors come from.This is why I try not to engage in these topics despite wanting to know you're doing well. So hard to keep track of what's reality when CEfolk go on a tear.
Glad to see youre doing ok, Cleo. A few weirdos aside, youve got this whole board rooting for you.
To be fair many people when they have a kid with a partner expect the partner to assist in raising the child. When you are expecting a team effort but then the other party does nothing to help.. complaining about the difficulty is more than fair. People don't usually assume or account for the person they love turning out to be a deadbeat.The tricky part is how many things are assumed with expectations and never verbally communicated beforehand. Having a child is among the most transformative things that can occur to someone. It's evidenced by how people with kids usually break off close ties with everyone they know who doesn't have kids; outside of immediate family.
Idk yall but I think that some things don't NEED specifying. If there's clutter on the floor, pick it up. If you accidentally dump ketchup all over the floor/counter, clean it off. If your baby smells weird you should probably go ahead and change the diaper.
I think it's more or less that you should be a partner and not another child to your partner. Your partner should not have to repeatedly tell you when a diaper needs to be changed, or to clean up your own messes. Emphasis on repeatedly.