Anyone on here as pathetic as me?I'm less than 2 months from turning 40, live with my parents, never had a gf.
Anyone on here as pathetic as me?
Anyone on here as pathetic as me?Taking care of your grandmother is not pathetic.
Anyone on here as pathetic as me?
Anyone on here as pathetic as me?It's not pathetic.
Where are there girls that are available, aren't single mothers, and don't have weird red flag rules or restrictions like "Not having social media is a red flag, needs to be 6' 3'' tall, needs to be handy"? Asking for a friend.
lot of mainstream society doesn't really help since you're basically bombarded with the message that your self-worth is tied to your romantic and sexual success with basically any media that's not kid-friendly.This. Basically can't exist without being reminded of it. No matter where you look or what you do, there's always something to say that you're out of the normal.
You guys are a trip. Don't get so down on yourselves. The metrics we generally use to measure ones success are bullshit and remnants of a society better off left in the past.I don't think many people realize the mental burden that it builds up over time. They get experience and growth, and have their expectations tempered and can set realistic expectations for themselves, and their relationships. That's healthy and natural.
I'm 42, and had 1 girlfriend only for a year when I was 16. But we went to different schools so only actually met up in person a few times. She might as well have been an internet pen pal. We talked on AOL chat, and on the phone more than anything else
And anyway, I kinda want to mention that you might be better off than me. I remember being in a relationship and having that feeling of it. And it sucks when its gone and never ever comes back. Most people get other later girlfriends and move on. But I'm not most people and so I actually regret having the girlfriend . I wish I never knew how it felt. So I wouldn't miss it.
Maybe this only makes sense to me, and sounds crazy to others.
I don't think many people realize the mental burden that it builds up over time. They get experience and growth, and have their expectations tempered and can set realistic expectations for themselves, and their relationships. That's healthy and natural.this 100%. it's not something you can really understand unless you live it. peoples' appraisal of the situation when they haven't personally lived it is almost always way off the mark. like, "oh it's not really a big deal, don't get so down on yourself." just no. you don't understand what it's like, at all.
When denied that, the constant reminder that you can't succeed when biologically driven to do so just builds up a lot of stress. It doesn't stop, it just compounds year after year. It weighs your mind down until the only thing you can believe about yourself is that you're pathetic.
Anyone on here as pathetic as me?
This. Basically can't exist without being reminded of it. No matter where you look or what you do, there's always something to say that you're out of the normal.
I don't think many people realize the mental burden that it builds up over time. They get experience and growth, and have their expectations tempered and can set realistic expectations for themselves, and their relationships. That's healthy and natural.
When denied that, the constant reminder that you can't succeed when biologically driven to do so just builds up a lot of stress. It doesn't stop, it just compounds year after year. It weighs your mind down until the only thing you can believe about yourself is that you're pathetic.
This is absolutely true for just about anything in life. Up until last year, I was in the same boat for a different reason.nope. once again, this misses the mark. this is in no way similar to being a foreveralone well into your thirties and what that does to you mentally. it's not just about some abstract societally imposed deadline. it's about the constant struggle with self worth, uselessness, unlovableness, lack of confidence, loneliness. it doesn't get easier, ever. it only gets worse and worse, and the longer it goes on it only makes you think more and more every year that it's just never gonna happen.
Im 37 with a six month old. Never really enjoyed the dating scene, faced a lot of rejection in high school, college wasnt much better and it wasnt until graduate school that I finally met my wife. I can count on one hand how many relationships I have been on.
The thing is, it didnt stop there. My wife struggled for five years to get pregnant, and while my friends and family were popping them out like babies came out of a dispenser, I still had this nagging feeling like again I was missing out on some of lifes best moments. Thankfully, both the loneliness and baby thing resolved themselves after countless hours of trying and in the case of the baby, over ten thousand dollars in doctors visits, tests, and procedures. And it was my father in law who gave me some perspective through it all. So Ill repeat what he said to me here.
He said that theres this make believe clock out of there that everyone believes you have to keep up with. Get laid by a certain age, married by a certain age, career by a certain age. Its not true. Your life is going to be exactly what it is, and theres no point on dwelling on what isnt. Dont worry about the clock, it will drive you crazy.
Now, that being said, I would advise the TC to rethink his strategy on how to resolve his current situation. Clearly what hes doing now aint working. And unfortunately, in this economy, to move out of your parents house, you need two incomes, so resolve the girlfriend thing first.
nope. once again, this misses the mark. this is in no way similar to being a foreveralone well into your thirties and what that does to you mentally. it's not just about some abstract societally imposed deadline. it's about the constant struggle with self worth, uselessness, unlovableness, lack of confidence, loneliness. it doesn't get easier, ever. it only gets worse and worse, and the longer it goes on it only makes you think more and more every year that it's just never gonna happen.
Im 37 with a six month old.And here's the punch in the gut reminder for today.
And here's the punch in the gut reminder for today.
You sound like Joseph JoestarJoseph was half that age in Part 2.
nope. once again, this misses the mark. this is in no way similar to being a foreveralone well into your thirties and what that does to you mentally. it's not just about some abstract societally imposed deadline. it's about the constant struggle with self worth, uselessness, unlovableness, lack of confidence, loneliness. it doesn't get easier, ever. it only gets worse and worse, and the longer it goes on it only makes you think more and more every year that it's just never gonna happen.This. Everyone knows confidence is the foremost requirement for attracting women, and this circumstance makes confidence harder and harder, so its just a destructive and depressing cycle.
Do you only post on this alt when youre sad?my main got suspended for saying something too controversial i guess about a user who no one likes and isn't even here anymore
Why? Not everyone has or needs to have kids.The post started off by saying he was in the same boat until a year ago. Then he proceeds to describe how he met his wife in grad school, had several relationships besides her, and how he recently became a father.
This. Everyone knows confidence is the foremost requirement for attracting women, and this circumstance makes confidence harder and harder, so its just a destructive and depressing cycle.yeah. and also, i forgot to mention, in the case of a husband and wife trying to get pregnant and it not happening, and having to face negative emotions because of that, at least you have a partner to help you cope and deal with those feelings. when you're alone, you literally have no one to help you cope with anything and you never have. you can't understand what that's like unless you have lived it.
my main got suspended for saying something too controversial i guess about a user who no one likes and isn't even here anymore
Ah okay thats lame. I thought because of the name and sig that the depressing post was like a gimmick lol.no, the username is because when i made this alt, it was meant to be a secret alt that i would never post on, so the username literally didn't matter. but when my actual alt AltyMcAltFace got banned while my main was in purg, i started posting on this. then i adopted the sig cuz it's a funny reference and it seemed to fit.
I am also 36. However, Ive pretty much always got a girlfriend and I dont live with your grandmother.Why did you post that here?
Why did you post that here?because he is utterly lacking in empathy and basic human decency
I will be 32 in about a month. I still live with my parents despite having a doctorate degree and making six figures. This is partially because of my insane student loan debt, but also partially because I am a manchild who is incapable of performing basic life functions. I got my first "girlfriend" at the beginning of last year at age 30. She was, by FAR, the worst thing that ever happened to me.Thats rough. I can relate to a lot of it, though youve obviously had it worse. You have my sympathies.
Prior to that, I knew that I would never be in a relationship and that I would die a virgin. I wasn't exactly thrilled with my life, but I had come to accept it over time. I was content with my life, despite all of my problems. I was okay with my existence. I actually enjoyed my evenings and weekends playing videogames and watching TV.
I haven't had any friends since I graduated from high school in 2009. Imagine the most socially awkward person you know, and multiply that by 10. That is me, and because of the way I am, no woman could ever want me. It's just natural selection. Again, I wasn't thrilled about it, but I was okay with it.
Anyway, when my coworker asked me out last February, obviously I said yes. She knew that I was a virgin and that I had never been in a relationship before. I got my first kiss, and things actually seemed to be going pretty well. A few weeks later, we tried to have sex. Because of how nervous I was, I couldn't "rise to the occasion." Imagine being a 30-year-old virgin who just got your first kiss a few weeks earlier, and having this happen to you. I was beyond devastated. I felt worthless and like a failure at life, like I literally failed at the fundamental purpose of existing as an organism.
She said she wasn't going anywhere, but she dumped me the next week. I never got another chance. That was the killing blow, and I haven't been okay ever since. We still worked together for four months after that, during which time she was extremely cruel to me and basically just danced on my grave the whole time. I won't go into details here, but it is much worse than anything else that I have written.
I would give anything to go back to being a 30-year-old who is content with life despite knowing that he will never be in a relationship and will die a virgin. I have felt worthless and like a failure at life every minute of every day for a year and a half. The feeling only gets worse over time, as it accumulates every day. I have never hated anyone in my life before all this, and now I hate two people with every fiber of my being: her and myself.
I am the most pathetic person here.
I am the most pathetic person here.That was all on her. She was needlessly cruel, and lied to you. You feel bad because she took an embarrassing situation and stomped on you over it.