Current Events > I think I'm going to last minute cancel a date I was supposed to have

(+) Yeah! (+)

If it was me I would probably just go but also feel kind of odd about it. I mean if it was a year or more ago that would be one thing.

That's pretty considerate of you that you don't want her to waste her time going out on a date with some asshole. You're helping her dodge a bullet.

That's pretty considerate of you that you don't want her to waste her time going out on a date with some asshole. You're helping her dodge a bullet.

This but not so rude. I don't think you're an asshole. This is actually nice

always angry

He's alone and single, pay no attention to him

Yikes

Call it off, make sure to let her know the truth, in that you were too insecure to even try to understand her emotional or mental state and just peace out because you though there might be baggage.

That seems like a decision that's hers to make, and not the TCs. If she's agreeing to go out on a date then that would suggest she's ready to move forward. You shouldn't assume someone's mental state like that.

I'm married with kids actually.

So you're REALLY unhappy and disapointed, we get it.

Just go and meet her anyway. Not like youre getting married. Maybe it will be nice.

I went on the date and really shouldn't have. Started normal until I asked how her experience with the app was. She said she's met a bunch of duds and then began mentioning her ex and kept coming back to her ex like every 30 seconds. She didn't even mention that he died, just kept mentioning him like he was a past lover. Everytime I tried to deflect to other subjects, she'd just, stop and stare into space, lost and detached each time. Once I realized there was no getting through to this girl, I politely told her that I needed to go. That flipped this switch where she came back to reality and didn't want me to leave. She asked if i wanted to come over. I said no and was on my way and that was it.

I don't know why I didn't cancel the date. It was just her not even close to getting over this and using me as a sponge to talk about it. She never mentioned that he died or anything and I didn't bother to ask more about it because that would be dumb. It still made me feel bad to just sit there and watch someone pretty much uninterested in getting to know you and wanting you to just sit there and listen to them talk about someone else.

Just go and meet her anyway. Not like youre getting married. Maybe it will be nice.

I already went on the date.. and it wasn't.

Of course the "nice guys" on CE bully the TC into going on something that CLEARLY wasn't for him. Good job.

I dunno if I'm too nice but I feel kind of uncomfortable the way TC worded things. "used you as a sponge"? whut? having empathy is a chore these days? maybe you guys wouldn't connect romantically but damn....

maybe I just connect with people naturally that have experienced sadness and loss and I'm not checking my watch "are you over your shit yet? I'm (im)patiently waiting for this to be about me"

Agreed

I dunno if I'm too nice but I feel kind of uncomfortable the way TC worded things. "used you as a sponge"? whut? having empathy is a chore these days? maybe you guys wouldn't connect romantically but damn....

maybe I just connect with people naturally that have experienced sadness and loss and I'm not checking my watch "are you over your shit yet? I'm (im)patiently waiting for this to be about me"

I don't think tc did anything wrong to be clear...I would've handled that completely differently though

It didn't hurt TC in any way

I mean.. Disagree lol.

Getting ready, spending on gas/uber, and then getting hit emotionally all sound a little hurtful to me

Still good that he went. You can't use the knowledge of what happened after-the-fact to change whether one should have gone in the first place. So the date sucked, big deal. It didn't hurt TC in any way. He was just uncomfortable for a bit. If he hadn't of gone, he may have wondered if he should have, Now he knows.

Or he could have trusted his instincts and not have gone like he wanted to. It doesn't seem like he had FOMO. Seemed pretty set that he didn't seem eager to go lol.

this is a dating app not a personal therapy app

people use these to meet people for two-way communication, someone explicitly using this as therapy is wasting strangers' time

tbh this is why it's important to pay attention to red flags on dating sites, your time is valuable

My point was he didn't know for sure, Now he does. I don't view this as a big deal.

He is not her therapist. It's not "are you over your shit?" The girl didn't even attempt to get to know him.

waste of time. This is why there are things called "red flags" that people look for prior to meeting up. We get it, you like ignoring them and being serendipitous.