Current Events > Female characters removed from Mario Kart 8 following SA investment in Nintendo.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Following todays news that Saudi Arabia now controls 5% of its shares after making a nearly three billion dollar investment, Nintendo has announced that female characters are now banned from driving in Mario Kart 8.

I know what the assumption here is, and I assure you it isnt the case, said Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser. This decision has nothing to do with our new ties to Saudi Arabia. Besides, women have been able to drive there for a few years now, so Im not really sure where people are getting their information from. No, weve long been planning on restricting womens ability to share the roads with the games male and lizard drivers since well before we did this deal. Thats just a funny little coincidence!

Gamers reacted to the news with disappointment and confusion.

So wait, Princess Peach is still in the game, asked Melanie Miller, a confused Mario Kart fan. Shes just unable to drive, make eye contact with the men, expose her wrists or ankles, and shes been stripped of her sovereignty? Whats the fucking point, even?

Other Nintendo representatives defended the controversial association with the country known for its extensive history of human rights abuses.

I know it sounds unpleasant, but this is just the cost of doing business, said Mel Gipley, an executive at Nintendo. If this is news to you, please know that Saudi Arabias also recently invested in Capcom, EA, Activision, and plenty of others, so its getting harder and harder to play games without blood money tied to them. But again, this will not influence our content whatsoever. The day you assassinate and dismember a journalist and face no consequences for it in one of our games, then youll have a point! But until that day, Im afraid theyre merely business partners of ours.

As of press time, the highly anticipated Metroid Prime 4 had been abruptly canceled.

Imagine falling for this.

Nice try TC with the tinyurl

Imagine falling for this.

Pretty obvious satire guys

It's a little too obvious satire. Hard drive could have done better. A Saudi prince wouldn't be allowed to have more than 1% without the Japanese ministry of finance prior approval.

...but SA did buy a portion of Nintendo. The satire is the "women can't drive" bit

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-05-18/saudi-arabia-s-pif-adds-to-games-push-with-5-nintendo-stake

How did anybody believe this or need it to be debunked for them? Ive never heard of hard drive and even a monkey could tell from the title immediately that its satire

If you know the prince's history, this is in no way far off from reality. He brought wrestlers out of retirement and now owns SNK.

Tiny url should be banned. This is like the equivalent of fucking Rick rolling.

Tiny url should be banned. This is like the equivalent of fucking Rick rolling.