Current Events > Lesson learned, don't get buzzed on a third date with a girl you like

(+) Yeah! (+)

Youll tell them that you like them while making out, and scare them off and get ghosted.

You're supposed to wait til date five and ask "so what is this?"

MrResetti posted...

You're supposed to wait til date five and ask "so what is this?"

I did not ask that. Ive only known her for a week thar would be weird.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

She knows everything about you at this point, it's too late

Are you talking manscaping?

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

3 dates in 1 week(wtf) and telling her you like her? Yeah probably feels smothered. Patience/disciple goes a long way.

just dont chase now. She may come around and if she doesnt, you know what not to do

She told me she liked me on my first date to be fair.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

She knows everything about you at this point, it's too late

???

I mean Im almost 30 I am not going to play these games with women. Im not going to have 3 great dates with a girl and nearly bang on my couch and not get feels.

Vermander posted...

She told me she liked me on my first date to be fair.

???

I mean Im almost 30 I am not going to play these games with women. Im not going to have 3 great dates with a girl and nearly bang on my couch and not get feels.

It's just an eventful week

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong or extreme or anything, who knows what's going on in her life. Maybe her ex said the same thing on date 3 and she freaked out, who knows.

Its beta energy to tell a woman I like you.

you have no plan of action. Its awkward because how the fuck is she supposed to respond to that?

What are you offering to her? Absolutely nothing. Just another dude who will be emotionally needy. Thats super unattractive.

So how many dates before you say you love her?

Date #3 is the sex date, so giving yourself whiskey dick seems like an obvious no no.

I think one key piece of missing information is how long has this "ghosting" period been going for?

HistoricHero posted...

beta

Oh Christ.

lilORANG posted...

Date #3 is the sex date, so giving yourself whiskey dick seems like an obvious no no.

Tbh if we want to go down the sex thing its more likely the fact I didnt escalate it to sex after we were feeling each other up. That may have been a mistake but I also think if a girl wants it she takes it.

The true reality is though if on date #3 if these mistakes knock me out, she probably wasnt that into me to begin with.

Shes a bad texter so I cant really gauge. She went out of town with her friends for the weekend, so I am just leaving it alone for the time being. If I dont hear from her for a couple days Ill probably try to intiate another date and shell either ignore me, say no, or yes and Ill have my answer.

In same light no matter how bad of a texter you are or how busy you are I definitely think not texting someone youre seeing for over 24 hours is a sign of youre general attitude towards that person.

CyricZ posted...

I think one key piece of missing information is how long has this "ghosting" period been going for?

Oh Christ.

Idk, its really ghosting yet, she hasnt texted me much since the day (other than to tell me she got home safely.)

Its hard to gauge with her because she will regularly take 17 hours to respond to texts.

It is probably mostly out of hands now, but Ill be bummed if it doesnt work out since this is really the most luck Ive had in months, and probably the most involved Ive been with a girl since my ex.

The reason its so strange is even after these things happened, on her way out I hugged and kissed her goodbye and that turned into more making out?

Idk its a weird hot/cold situation.

Shorty wants dick not a relationship.

Flockaveli posted...

Shorty wants dick not a relationship.

Okay. Then say that? The second date she planned was to go rock climbing and to chill at a bar. The doesnt sound like a date where you are just trying to fuck someone.

Ive had hookup dates and this aint it.

If she said the same on the first date, you saying it on the 3rd is not the issue. More likely she wasn't feeling it that night.

Was this was the first time you really made out? If so, maybe she felt no chemistry.

Or alternatively, maybe she wanted you to be more assertive, and you weren't.

Or something else entirely, as we are only getting your side of the story. You might have missed out on whatever red flag you gave her.

Or you just need to be patient.

JustMyOpinion posted...

17 hours to respond to a text is something I don't have the patience for. Hard pass.

Like she reliably shows up to dates and schedules with me so Ive tolerated but a relationship where I feel needy just wanting to have a couple exchanges with my girlfriend doesnt sound practical. If we ever got serious this is something Id be addressing up front.

bsp77 posted...

If she said the same on the first date, you saying it on the 3rd is not the issue. More likely she wasn't feeling it that night.

Was this was the first time you really made out? If so, maybe she felt no chemistry.

Or alternatively, maybe she wanted you to be more assertive, and you weren't.

Or something else entirely, as we are only getting your side of the story. You might have missed out on whatever red flag you gave her.

Or you just need to be patient.

Yeah its just speculation at best.

I did this on a 2nd date and have a 3rd date today :)

It was a great icebreaker and advanced the relationship tbh

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I gotta argue (err, have a respectful discussion) with you now, because I enjoy debating things with you :)

Sometimes that fast timeline is okay. I can see how it shouldn't be done with everyone, but you gotta feel it out. For example, my last date through a dating app was Aug 2018. We ended up having 4 dates in one week, where we had sex on the 2nd and became exclusive on the 3rd. We had insane chemistry and a great connection, so it felt right. My gut said to go for it.

I broke up with her in Aug 2020, so it didn't work out, but that doesn't change this point. Haven't used a dating app afterward, as I have dated friends since, but I wouldn't think things have changed that much. Other than the covid complication, of course.

Yeah: a girl liking me on the third date!? Slow the fuck down! Hell no! Run away!

Real trick is there is no trick. If they really like you, you can make tons of little mistakes and it won't be a dealbreaker.
Even some big ones, as long as you show willingness to fix them.

Vermander posted...

Like she reliably shows up to dates and schedules with me so Ive tolerated but a relationship where I feel needy just wanting to have a couple exchanges with my girlfriend doesnt sound practical. If we ever got serious this is something Id be addressing up front.

Yeah, you definitely have to discuss communication styles if she ever gets back to you and you end up truly dating.

Vermander posted...

Yeah its just speculation at best.

Of course. Just don't assume that it is because you said you liked her. That seems less likely based on the circumstances than other possibilities. Maybe just her being a shitty texter is all it is.

Thanks for the advice TC. Next time I go on a third date I'll tell her I hate her

On a serious note if telling a girl on the 3rd date you like her ruins anything its a massive red flag on HER part.

Lairen posted...

On a serious note if telling a girl on the 3rd date you like her ruins anything its a massive red flag on HER part.

Yep. Everytime I have had a relationship last at all, we were clearly smitten with each other by the 3rd date. Not saying "in love", but you can just tell that you are on that path.

Isn't it assumed that you like them at that point?

billcom6 posted...

Isn't it assumed that you like them at that point?

Yeah, thats why TC fucked up.

Women hate indecisive men and men who dont know what the fuck they want.

Telling her I wike u just makes you look like a big softy Women naturally want a man who makes them feel safe. You make a woman feel safe by having masculine traits Being an emotional cupcake makes you seem like a baby boy who needs a mommy to kiss his boo boos.

HistoricHero posted...

Yeah, thats why TC fucked up.

Women hate indecisive men and men who dont know what the fuck they want.

Telling her I wike u just makes you look like a big softy Women naturally want a man who makes them feel safe. You make a woman feel safe by having masculine traits Being an emotional cupcake makes you seem like a baby boy who needs a mommy to kiss his boo boos.

Don't listen to this. Or alternatively, at least understand that this is "some women" only. Personally, I don't like dating women like that and maybe TC doesn't either.

HistoricHero posted...

Yeah, thats why TC fucked up.

Women hate indecisive men and men who dont know what the fuck they want.

Telling her I wike u just makes you look like a big softy Women naturally want a man who makes them feel safe. You make a woman feel safe by having masculine traits Being an emotional cupcake makes you seem like a baby boy who needs a mommy to kiss his boo boos.

Lmfao

billcom6 posted...

Isn't it assumed that you like them at that point?

not if you havent had sex yet

She finally texted me this morning saying she doesnt think it will work out between us, so at least there is some closure.

The best dating advice is to not listen to dating advice, outside of the general stuff like dont date married women.

Nobody is the same and nobody know whats on anyone elses mind.

In any case I think Im going to take a break for awhile. I did ask her if there was anything I did wrong, but she may not respond.

Well, it sucks but at least she did the right thing and didnt ghost you outright.

HistoricHero posted...

Yeah, thats why TC fucked up.

Women hate indecisive men and men who dont know what the fuck they want.

Telling her I wike u just makes you look like a big softy Women naturally want a man who makes them feel safe. You make a woman feel safe by having masculine traits Being an emotional cupcake makes you seem like a baby boy who needs a mommy to kiss his boo boos.

Lmao at this. Don't listen to this.

MrResetti posted...

You're supposed to wait til date five and ask "so what is this?"

I did that on date 2

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I have no idea. The women I connect with like emotion and communication from men though.

Vermander posted...

She finally texted me this morning saying she doesnt think it will work out between us, so at least there is some closure.

Shit. You can wonder why, but ultimately don't worry too much.

Oh, I see you asked. I probably wouldn't have, because even if she responds, it likely won't be the truth.

tripleh213 posted...

I did that on date 2

I have before too. It was obvious that she was really smitten and wanted me to say something. She also was NOT dating around and she knew I likely was, so it was actually for her own piece of mind. Oh, she is my current gf btw, and it has been over a year and is going great. This is why I don't think hard and fast rules on how to do this stuff should exist.

HistoricHero posted...

Yeah, thats why TC fucked up.

Women hate indecisive men and men who dont know what the fuck they want.

Telling her I wike u just makes you look like a big softy Women naturally want a man who makes them feel safe. You make a woman feel safe by having masculine traits Being an emotional cupcake makes you seem like a baby boy who needs a mommy to kiss his boo boos.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/1/8/AAABqgAACzGy.jpg

I officially asked her out after 5th date and we fucked the next month after that

Vermander posted...

take a break for awhile

You're defeated after three dates in less than a week? C'mon man