Current Events > Bomb squad called to hospital after man gets WWII mortar stuck up his butt.

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What_
12/03/21 12:56:01 PM
#1:


https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/bomb-squad-called-gloucestershire-royal-6298076

Troops from 11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment rushed to the Gloucester hospital after being notified by police "that a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum."
The man was a military enthusiast who found the shell while clearing out, but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital,
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Master Kazuya
12/03/21 12:58:33 PM
#2:


Talk about explosive diarrhea

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__aCEr__
12/03/21 1:00:02 PM
#3:


What_ posted...
The man was a military enthusiast

I'll say.

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Tyranthraxus
12/03/21 1:00:28 PM
#4:


So let me get this straight, you tripped and fell with your exposed anus directly onto a warhead? What were you doing when you tripped?

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FortuneCookie
12/03/21 1:00:29 PM
#5:


I accidently a whole mortar
Could this be dangerous?
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geekneck99
12/03/21 1:01:01 PM
#6:


Fire in the hole!

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sabrestorm
12/03/21 1:01:22 PM
#7:


Wtf?

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BalanceLost
12/03/21 1:01:55 PM
#8:


What. In the actual. Fuck.

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Frolex
12/03/21 1:02:02 PM
#9:


What_ posted...
but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital,


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Alteres
12/03/21 1:03:26 PM
#10:


I had that scene from hot fuzz with the old farmer pop into my head before I opened the topic.

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#11
Post #11 was unavailable or deleted.
berlyman101
12/03/21 1:04:13 PM
#12:


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Blightzkrieg
12/03/21 1:07:18 PM
#13:


80 years later the Nazis are still fucking us

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Questionmarktarius
12/03/21 1:08:10 PM
#14:


What_ posted...
"tripped"
right...

Just some weirdo taking a military fetish a bit too extreme.
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Srk700
12/03/21 1:08:12 PM
#15:


Guy literally needs to go to horny jail.
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Gobstoppers12
12/03/21 1:12:29 PM
#16:


What_ posted...
somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance
uh huh

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Questionmarktarius
12/03/21 1:13:18 PM
#17:


Srk700 posted...
Guy literally needs to go to horny jail.
The bloated ER bill will be a de facto horny fine.

edit: oh wait, it's UK. NHS gets to punish everyone for this idiot's horny stupidity.
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BalanceLost
12/03/21 1:13:48 PM
#18:


Questionmarktarius posted...
The bloated ER bill will be a de facto horny fine.
The man is British.

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Gobstoppers12
12/03/21 1:14:46 PM
#19:


BalanceLost posted...
The man is British.
So really it's the British taxpayers who are supporting this man's curiosity.

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monkmith
12/03/21 1:15:04 PM
#20:


there needs to be a PSA put out, reminding people that if you shove something up your ass and go to the hospital to have it removed that everyone in the hospital will be informed about your dumb ass and you'll be the butt of jokes for years.

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BalanceLost
12/03/21 1:15:29 PM
#21:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
So really it's the British taxpayers who are supporting this man's curiosity.
Yep.

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#22
Post #22 was unavailable or deleted.
Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:19:58 PM
#23:


I would ask this guy if he was trying to smuggle it off of a historical site without having to register the find.
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Solar_Crimson
12/03/21 1:20:30 PM
#24:


What_ posted...
The man was a military enthusiast who found the shell while clearing out, but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital,
...Uh-huh...

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Gobstoppers12
12/03/21 1:21:14 PM
#25:


Solar_Crimson posted...
...Uh-huh...
I think he's mighty enthusiastic about military memorabilia...

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Questionmarktarius
12/03/21 1:22:05 PM
#26:


57mm, though. Not sure if I should be revolted or impressed.
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NoxObscuras
12/03/21 1:24:02 PM
#27:


People online are calling it a weapon of ass destruction

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Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:24:26 PM
#28:


If he waited until he left the site to notify somebody of the incident, then I think it's a clear what *really* happened.
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EmbraceOfDeath
12/03/21 1:25:22 PM
#29:


Questionmarktarius posted...
The bloated ER bill will be a de facto horny fine.

edit: oh wait, it's UK. NHS gets to punish everyone for this idiot's horny stupidity.
Okay, but presumably he pays his taxes too and has been contributing to everyone else's healthcare, so it's not like that's an issue.

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Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:29:35 PM
#30:


If it happened like he said tho,

What the hell. I've had some close calls with danger, but nothing like this. Well, I mean....

Not really
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Gobstoppers12
12/03/21 1:32:02 PM
#31:


Xethuminra posted...
If it happened like he said tho,
It definitely did not.

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Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:32:54 PM
#32:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
It definitely did not.
Check his pants for signs of entry
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Turtlebread
12/03/21 1:35:06 PM
#33:


This man deserves his own Wikipedia page

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DrizztLink
12/03/21 1:35:56 PM
#34:


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Ruvan22
12/03/21 1:38:12 PM
#35:


NoxObscuras posted...
People online are calling it a weapon of ass destruction
That joke nearly rectum!!
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Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:38:52 PM
#36:


Was it still Iive?
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Tyranthraxus
12/03/21 1:40:10 PM
#37:


Xethuminra posted...
Was it still Iive?

All unexploded ordinance has a chance it can go off.

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It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
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Vyrulisse
12/03/21 1:40:28 PM
#38:


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Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:41:13 PM
#39:


Tyranthraxus posted...
All unexploded ordinance has a chance it can go off.
There's different stages tho. IDK about old mortars. Landmines and dynamite are dangerous.
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SSJPurple
12/03/21 1:44:07 PM
#40:


What_ posted...
somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital,

Lmao this guy. Just own it bro because no matter what you say nobody believes you tripped and a mortar ended up in your arse lol

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Devil's Advocate
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pikachupwnage
12/03/21 1:45:04 PM
#41:


Extreme thrill seeking and masturbation do not mix well at all.

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Xethuminra
12/03/21 1:46:55 PM
#42:


SSJPurple posted...
Lmao this guy. Just own it bro because no matter what you say nobody believes you tripped and a mortar ended up in your arse lol
What happened to innocent until proven guilty?

The bomb was sticking straight up and he fell right on it
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mustachedmystic
12/03/21 1:55:09 PM
#43:


Hey look, I found a rusted mortar round that my experience tells me is from WWII, what should I do with it? I know, Ill shove it up my ass!

seriously though, what the fuck?!?!?

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nativengine
12/03/21 1:58:41 PM
#44:


Im not out here sticking stuff up my ass but I gotta say if I was, an explosive of any kind would be vary far down on my list. When Louis Armstrong sang What a Wonderful World I dont think he had this in mind

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Questionmarktarius
12/03/21 1:59:22 PM
#45:


mustachedmystic posted...
seriously though, what the fuck?!?!?
The internet's down, and then you remember you have some old artillery and a can of crisco...
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What_
12/03/21 2:34:48 PM
#46:


Master Kazuya posted...
Talk about explosive diarrhea
Heyooo
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Nemu
12/03/21 2:38:23 PM
#47:


Imagine being the one guy who actually rube goldberged his way into something like that and nobody will ever believe you.
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treewojima
12/03/21 2:44:42 PM
#48:


What_ posted...
The man was a military enthusiast

My favorite bit of snark
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Tyranthraxus
12/03/21 2:48:27 PM
#49:


What_ posted...
The man was a military enthusiast

You meant the man was a military "in-to-the-ass"

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It says right here in Matthew 16:4 "Jesus doth not need a giant Mecha."
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DJquackquack
12/03/21 2:50:59 PM
#50:


monkmith posted...
about your dumb ass and you'll be the butt of jokes for years.


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