Current Events > Let's make some AI-generated stories :D

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YugiNoob
09/27/21 12:47:25 AM
#1:


https://bellard.org/textsynth/

Not sure how many of you are familiar with talktotransformer, but this is similar. You just type in some stuff in the box and hit complete text, and watch as a story unfolds before your very eyes :D

Donald Trump and Joe Biden went to get coffee one morning last month.

The Republican nominee, who is still not yet president, has long been accused of being too cozy with the political establishment, of being "too cozy" with the Democratic establishment. In an interview with the New York Times shortly before he left office, President George W. Bush criticized him for being "more the insider than the outsider."

But over the course of the campaign, Trump began spending less time complaining about the political establishment at least in public. And on Sunday, the pair of longtime adversaries finally sat down for a friendly chat.

Trump met with the former vice president and Democrat candidate for the presidency, who spent four decades representing Delaware in Congress before being elected vice president under President Barack Obama.

Biden held out the prospect that he and Trump could work things out and that they could "get over this thing."

Oh shit this one about SBAllen is kinda messed up

SBAllen woke up and stepped on his cat before he left for work. He'd taken his shoes off to walk around the house barefoot. At the store, he bought some milk, a gallon of water, and bread. Back home, he decided to cook himself some eggs, but couldn't find the can opener. He didn't realize he'd been using the top on the butter container.

By the time he finished eating, it was too late to call his parents. Allen went to bed. He fell asleep, woke up and found that he couldn't move his head. In the morning, he found the cat, dead, on the bathroom floor.

The cat had a broken back.

_This would have been funny if the cat were an_ _elephant or a giraffe, but it's the_ _same damn cat_.

Allen had a good job with an engineering firm, but he didn't enjoy the work. After five years, he realized he didn't need a regular salary

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YugiNoob
09/27/21 1:11:33 AM
#2:


Even computers hate pit bulls lol

https://youtu.be/m62Freoy87g?t=430

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GMAK2442
09/27/21 1:49:44 AM
#3:


Nice toy. Thanks. I will try to generate something good and I will bring back this here. sec...

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Prosperity and Peace! 777
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DocileOrangeCup
09/27/21 1:55:24 AM
#4:


Trent reznor is peeing in a kindergarten classroom, but it's not because he's crazy.

The 30-year-old American artist and musician is making the unusual move of releasing his first album in four years in the form of a free download, but it's not just a cynical publicity stunt. Reznor is doing it to draw attention to a different kind of free education: "The future belongs to those who believe in educating the whole person," he says. "It's an opportunity for kids to explore their creativity."

His aim is to teach kids about music through play.

Reznor is the sole author, singer and musician of Nine Inch Nails' 2004 release The Fragile. Since then, the artist has been a vocal advocate of using music to convey messages beyond the entertainment realm. In a 2005 interview with Wired, he said: "When you look at the record industry, it's very, very clear that the majority of money now comes from 20-year-olds buying albums

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DarthDemented
09/27/21 1:57:42 AM
#5:


A giant ass appearing in the sky and sharting in the sky in 3-D. With a face and eyes that would make the Mona Lisa jealous. A giant ass with an anus the size of Neptune and a penis so big, it would sink any other dick we've seen. The ass is the head of a giant horse whose mouth and neck are an anus.

The Big Boobed Beast of Doom. The creature that will make everyone on earth a zombie for all eternity. The Beast comes from another dimension where all of the women have big boobs. When one of the women in that dimension dies, the Beast shows up and fucks her. He ejaculates in her, turns her

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Kisai
09/27/21 2:03:26 AM
#6:


Bob was walking to the store the other day in his favorite pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. When he walked into the building, a clerk behind the counter told him that he was lucky to have worn that because a $1 was added to his bill.

Bob was pretty annoyed, he usually only wears his jeans to the gym. He demanded to see a manager to figure out why a $1 was added. After waiting 20 minutes for a manager, Bob left to the next store to find out the same thing had happened to a couple other customers, then a store up the street. Then when he got home he found out the whole thing was a prank. Everyone had gotten a $1 bill added to their bill.

I don't know about you but I wouldn't trust someone who said he was going to put $1 on my bill and didn't.

Well in this world what you think won't happen today might happen tomorrow!

If i were to get the bill and

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YugiNoob
09/27/21 2:12:27 AM
#7:


OH WHAT THE FUCK

Florida Man stepped outside one day with nothing but his underwear and a shotgun. He was looking for someone to help him.

It didn't take long.

An old, homeless woman approached him. She grabbed his crotch, then asked if he had any booze.

The old woman proceeded to suck his **** as he was forced to watch helplessly.

After a few minutes of **** sucking and fondling, she asked if he wanted to fuck her.

The old man responded, "Yeah," and the two slowly walked into the woods where the old woman took off her clothes.

"This was no easy task, let me tell you."

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Bun bun :3
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Trumble
09/27/21 2:13:52 AM
#8:


Sadly, there is no such thing as a fish. We can call it a feline, or a shark, or a salamander. But no, the fish are the only mammals that can not move around on their own and have to hang out on the bottom of the sea. Most of us know that fish in the sea don't reproduce much, because a lot of them don't even make it to their own age. Many of them are caught in fisherman's nets. And if we see a fish in a fish tank, it's really for a pet. When fish come up for air, they cannot breath on their own. For this reason, all fish have to eat. Their mouths are the only way they can swallow things, but only small things. It could be a small bug. In fact, some fish are able to eat the big ones! This is why you cannot see a shark bite a human, even though he is trying to eat him! The shark has no teeth! Some fish have fins and feel cold. The fins are so they can move along the water with the help of a fish tail. They are usually seen near the end of the tail. They move on the water by flapping their fins and their tails. The first known fish was named by Aristotle. His name was _Piscis_ , or "Fishes." But before you are shocked, don't you know there is no such thing as a fish?

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Trumble
09/27/21 2:16:42 AM
#9:


Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane. I have sat here quietly while these bloodthirsty bastards have flown right over our heads, ignoring the warning lights, while we sat in the goddamn passenger seats. There has been enough killing. I am going to find out where we are going and do whatever it takes to kill the motherfucking snake! I'm putting an end to this!"

With that the man stood up and looked around the cabin to make sure no one had seen what he had just said. When he was sure that he was the only one in the cabin, the man with the shaved head walked to the front of the plane and grabbed the pilot by his shirt collar. He pulled the pilot towards the front of the plane and pushed him down into the cockpit. The man then leaned over the pilot and said, "Pilot, what are we doing?"

The pilot looked up at the man with the shaved head and said, "We are not sure, yet."

The man with the shaved head let go of the pilot and stepped back. He sat down in one of the two seats that were not in use. He said, "That pilot has been flying this plane for ten hours straight. He does not know where we are going. We are doing whatever we want. What do you want to do?"

The man with the shaved head leaned forward and asked, "Are you talking about killing the snake?"

"That's what I am talking about. We need to put an end to this. We need to end this so this never happens again. This snake, whatever the hell it is, needs to be killed. It cannot go on for much longer. It's time to end this nightmare. It's time to end this," the man with the shaved head stated, as he leaned back in his seat.

The man with the shaved head looked at the pilot and the co-pilot. He asked, "Will it work?"

The pilot replied, "We are not sure. This is not something that has ever happened before."

The man with the shaved head looked at the co-pilot and asked, "How far do you want to go with this thing?"

The co-pilot thought about the question for a few seconds and replied, "All the way."

"How will we do it?" the man with the shaved head asked.

The pilot replied, "You kill it with your bare hands. If that is what you want to do, we will help you."

The man with the shaved head thought about this for a few seconds and replied, "Are you sure about this?"

The pilot replied, "Yes. We will do whatever it takes to put an end to this."

The man with the shaved head thought about the pilot's comment for a few seconds and said, "All right. We are going to do this as quickly as we can and we are going to do it right. I want you to take the co-pilot and go to the back of the plane. Go up through the door there, and get into the back of the plane. Once you are in there, I am going to tell you what to do."

The pilot got up and walked to the back of the plane. He went up the stairs and got into the compartment where the co-pilot was sitting. He asked, "What are we going to do?"

The co-pilot replied, "There is only one way to do this, kill it. Do whatever it takes to do it, but I am not going to help you if you hesitate. This is a decision you have to make by yourself. You have to know what you are doing. Once you do this, I want you to get back into the cockpit. When you are ready, we will get this thing to go away."

The pilot looked at the co-pilot, nodded his head in the affirmative, and left the compartment. The man with the shaved head told him what he wanted to do. The pilot nodded his head. He told his co-pilot that he was going to get into the back of the plane and that he was going to open the door for him. He told his co-pilot to get ready. He opened the door and waited for the co-pilot to enter the compartment. He told his co-pilot to sit down and make sure no one sees him. He told his co-pilot that he was going to tell him what he was supposed to do. The pilot said, "All right."

He pointed to the co-pilot and said, "You can see for yourself what is in the bag. The door to the plane is shut. When I open it, you are to throw the bag on the bed."

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Kisai
09/27/21 2:18:15 AM
#10:


Princess Sara went for a walk in the woods and found a magical sword. Princess Sara fought the monster that was attacking the village. When Sara fought the monster, she saw a sign in front of her. There was a small house in front of her, and it said, The Princess is in here. The princess was frightened, but she followed the path. She saw the sword in front of her. It was a small sword, and it was on a stick. Hello said Sara. The person who owned the sword turned around and said, Hello Princess. Would you like to borrow this sword? Princess Sara took the sword and looked at it. There was something very strange about the sword. The sword was white with small markings on it. Princess Sara took the sword and thanked the old man. She put the sword into her bag and continued on her way. Princess Sara went to the castle and found it to be in very bad shape. Princess Sara found the king and asked for help. The king gave Sara

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WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
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Norman_Smiley
09/27/21 2:19:05 AM
#11:


oh this was fun.

Donald Trump is a strong man. Very masculine. He grabs pussies, he is not one. He wants to punch a baby when he is feeling down. His life has been hard from the beginning. He is a real pussy. All this being a pussy just for a few seconds. I will have none of it, so I need to help him to become man. I am a tough guy to train and he has a lot of manly traits, so I will show him how to be a man. I want to know how to train a real man.

How can I do this? I will start with the basics. You know the difference between a man and a wimp, between a man and a pussy, between a man and a bitch, between a man and a pussy.

To the girls. Do not forget to shave in time. You know.

To the men. Remember the basic rules.

1. Do not be a pussy.

2. Do not be a bitch.

3. If you are a man,

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https://imgur.com/BVBQC
The big wiggle equals ratings.
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Trumble
09/27/21 2:23:09 AM
#12:


Donald Trump has super-AIDS. And so does Hillary Clinton.

Trump and Clinton are about equally likely to infect others with AIDS. For an ordinary person, that means that the odds that they or someone else would become infected by them are about 10 percent. That's a low chance, especially if you are being infected by someone like Clinton or Trump.

But this 10 percent figure is a pretty big number when viewed from the perspective of the global HIV-AIDS epidemic. If the people who became infected by Clinton and Trump were all people on the planet, the average person in the world is 1,400 times more likely to be infected by one of them than to be infected by one of Clinton and Trump. When you look at the HIV-AIDS problem on a global scale, it's not even a close call. This epidemic is entirely due to these two people.

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YugiNoob
09/27/21 2:25:11 AM
#13:


The covid pandemic will end in November of 2020. The first half of 2021 should go smoothly, and the second half might feel more like the previous two years. But the U.S. and Canadas economies and governments are poised to make important structural shifts that could reshape our collective futures.

In recent decades, Canadians have had four consecutive low-wage, high-income economies. Theyve also enjoyed economic expansion after expansion, and seen low interest ratesa long-running experiment in social engineering. As the U.S. economy has lagged, the Canadian economy has grown, and its job market is finally seeing steady expansion. The unemployment rate has also dropped below 5%. We know that the pandemic is coming and that the recovery is going to be different, but theres a very real chance that were seeing the economic peak of this century.

One reason is because of the U.S. economy. The country is more reliant than ever on exports

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Bun bun :3
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Trumble
09/27/21 2:25:20 AM
#14:


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joe40001
09/27/21 2:25:38 AM
#15:


Um... it's pretty dang good at autocompleting erotica...

*Edit: Yeah this is like scary good at autocompleting erotica*

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"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
https://imgur.com/TheGsZ9
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YugiNoob
09/27/21 2:29:39 AM
#16:


Goku kicked Vegeta in the balls. This sent him tumbling over the side of the ship. Vegeta screamed in agony as he lay on the ground, clutching his balls in pain. Goku immediately tried to finish him off, but his father blocked his attack. He looked up at Goku, and as he stood, his face went pale.

He couldn't believe he was still alive. He knew he would kill Goku if he had a chance. This meant that his son couldn't kill him. "I'll have to teach you not to kill me when I'm down," he muttered to himself.

Goku thought of an idea. "Why don't you jump in the water, and go back to sleep!" he yelled at Vegeta. "You should really think about what you're doing. Once I'm out of here, I'm going to come for you! That is, if you don't kill me first!"

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Bun bun :3
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Quorthon109
09/27/21 2:43:27 AM
#17:


This one time at band camp, I was assigned to be on the lookout for drugs, and I saw a guy walking around with a big bag of pot. I was thinking of telling one of the counselors. But then I noticed that he was carrying a flask. So I figured that if I didn't say anything, I would get credit for being an undercover narc.

One day, I spotted a girl carrying a big jug of watermelon-flavored liquor. That was a lot of booze for a single girl to carry around. So I just stood there and watched, to see if she would drop it. Sure enough, she did.

I had spotted a girl with a flask, so now I was hoping to bag a gun. Just then, a couple of counselors noticed me, and one of them said, "Are you okay? Are you on something?"

I nodded, and I said, "You know, I never said the Pledge of Allegiance before."

Then I took

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moh82sy
09/27/21 2:52:04 AM
#18:


The perfect girl, but she...she's always leaving me." "That's why I can't marry her." "I told her." "She never listens." "There are just no limits." "And you love her." "No, it's not love." "It's a joke." "Like a game that goes on and on." "You can't imagine how often she leaves me." "It's like she's trying to drive me crazy." "You just want to tell her." "You want to get out of the whole thing, but she keeps leaving me." "And then suddenly... suddenly you're with her, right in the middle of a crowd." "She's warm and her perfume is so sweet." "You get up on your knees." "Her lips are soft." "Suddenly you're in love with her." "So different from all the other girls." "You can't explain it." "What do you want me to do?" "You can't explain it." "You can't do anything." "I think you're very nice." "I was hoping you'd say that." "I'd like to have a kiss." "Kiss me." "I think I can." "Come on." "It doesn't matter if you don't love me." "You don't know what it means to be kissed by a nice boy like you." "Not really." "You ought to be taught." "Kiss me." "Why don't you help me?" "My hands are in the way." "Come on." "Don't worry, I'll help you." "Come on." "You can't." "It's too hard." "It hurts." "Is it too hard?" "I'll put this on." "There." "Now you can't help me any more." "And what a mess." "You see how it is?" "You're not very nice either." "I thought you'd be nice." "I was wrong." "

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Kisai
09/27/21 3:55:08 AM
#19:


GIMMIE FUEL, GIMMIE FIRE, GIMMIE THAT WHICH I DESIRE, OOH! OOH!
GIMMIE TO BURN! GIMMIE TO CURE! OOH! OOH! THE GIMMIE THAT I DESIRE!
THE GIMMIE THAT I CANNOT DESIRE! GIMMIE FIRE! GIMMIE THAT WHICH I
DESIRE! GIMMIE TO BURN! GIMMIE TO CURE! OOH! OOH! THE GIMMIE THAT I
DESIRE! THE GIMMIE THAT I CANNOT DESIRE! GIMMIE FIRE! THE GIMMIE THAT
I WANT! THE GIMMIE THAT I CANNOT WANT! GIMMIE FIRE! GIMMIE FUEL!
GIMMIE THAT WHICH I WANT! THE GIMMIE THAT I CANNOT WANT! GIMMIE FIRE!
THE GIMMIE THAT I DESIRE! THE GIMMIE THAT I CAN

I think I broke it.

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Kisai
09/27/21 4:07:44 AM
#20:


I apologize for summoning both Godzilla and the cloverfield monster to do battle with each other for my entertainment. I had no idea things would get so out of hand.

Godzilla was a pretty good movie, as well.

__________________
The further a society drifts from truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.
George Orwell

We should just send our best guy to Mars, and then Mars will love us back.
-George Carlin

I like Godzilla, a little (I did not see Cloverfield though), but I've been thinking lately about how some of the creatures we have on this planet are actually kind of terrifying and I just have to wonder... do the ones on Mars really know that?

There are so many reasons we'd want to avoid that, but the most obvious reason is that if we were to attack the red planet, we would have to go through it to get there.

Maybe there are lots of giant monsters on Mars and they are just afraid of the ones on Earth.

I like Godzilla, a little (I did not see Cloverfield though),

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joe40001
09/27/21 4:22:22 AM
#21:


Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. If you've heard the story, then you've heard it from the beginning. I was born in the summer of 1965, a Sagittarius in the country of Barbados. Mom was a Gemini, and I was an Air sign...

Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. Now, it all started out in a town called Gary. I was born and raised there, my mom was a line cook, and my dad was a manager at a paint company. I had two brothers and a sister. My mom worked hard to take care of my brothers and sister, as well as take care of me. We were poor but had a happy family. Well, like most family's back then, my mom had her problems. I had my problems. My mom didn't want anything to do with my problems. My dad, he didn't really know what to do about my problems. So I started to take a lot of the fall-outs on myself. But all of that, it changed when the big city came knocking on my family's door...

Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. Now, I know that most of you probably already heard the story, but for those who haven't, please allow me to enlighten.

I come from a long line of people who were basically entertainers. My family goes way back and I'm the sixth generation of entertainers, so naturally, I got it from my mom's side of the family. We were basically singers. Back in the day, you know, in the early 1900s, there was this group of singers called The Five Little Peppers and they were my uncles. And one day, my mom said, "We're going to do something new. We're going to call ourselves The Jackson 5 and we're going to be singers." My mother was six months pregnant and she was like, "Well, what's your name going to be?" And they said, "Well, we got a good idea for the name, you know, James." My father went off and said, "Well, we got a good name. We'll call you Michael." So we named the family, the six of us, Michael, LaToya, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and myself.

We started performing together, the five of us. And, you know, the rest is just history.


Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. Now as for my family tree, I'm the youngest in a family of five. My brothers are older, and they can't seem to find a job. And my little sister is getting real crazy, I'm gonna tell you how crazy. Now once I got the chance to go to college, I went all the way. At North Carolina Central University, I majored in political science. And I became an accountant. Oh yeah, did my time at the work, kept my head down, just working my plan, making a lot of money, getting my stripes, so I could retire to this hell hole. Now I am the mayor of this city called Bel Air, I live at 311 Bel Air Grove, and I drive a 2000 Cadillac. Now I'm so extravagant, I even get my own rainbow, but they don't ask for my autograph. Now I want you to know that this house is my office, where the meetings are held, and the deals are done. And my house is my laboratory, where I let my people go insane. And now I want you to know that this garden party, or whatever the hell it is, is at seven o'clock tonight. So I have to be there! I have to be there! If you'd like, you can come to my office and watch me sign the checks, that's where I keep them. And if you'd like, I will sign my name for you. But you have to be on time, you have to be on budget, and you have to be ready, to get down with the work. And do it now.

Now I'm so extravagant, I even have my own rainbow.

I used to sing this song with my friends Michael Jackson and Kenny Rogers


---
"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
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joe40001
09/27/21 4:22:59 AM
#22:


The only one it came up with that seemed kinda like actual lyrics:

Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. This is the tale of the Telly Savalas. You want to know what made me what I am today? It's all here in this show.

So take a little time and listen close to what I'm about to say. 'Cause I'm about to tell you how I overcame, how I won. A man's got to know his place, know his own worth. My whole world it was a mess! A total, complete and utter mess. I couldn't do a thing, not a thing. Didn't know what to think, I really couldn't win. Now I got no money, no job. I ain't got no suit, no shirt. I'm a bum, just a funky, funky bum.

Now I was working for the man, just a day laborer. Working for the man, just a funky, funky day laborer. Well he wouldn't let me shine his shoes! But I kept on trying! I took 'em home, I cleaned 'em up. But he kept on trying! I couldn't get the words out of his head. He'd mess up the house! I got him on a diet. I tried to help him along. But he didn't want to get it done. 'Cause he lived right next door to the master. He was on second base, I was trying to get him to the f.

I was working for the man, doing my best to please. But they kept on changing the rules. I wasn't winning, I was just a funky, funky day laborer. Well the boss would throw fits, 'cause I was always on strike. Didn't know what I was trying to do, I didn't know who was boss, I was just a funky, funky day laborer. Didn't know what to think, I really couldn't win. I was just a funky, funky, funky day laborer. I was working for the man.

Well, I was working for the man, so I tried to get it done. I really didn't know who was boss, but I had a bad head. Well, I was working for the man, doing my best to please. But he was so hard to please. It seemed like he didn't know me, I wasn't making it! But I kept on trying. I took his place, made a bad mess of the house. Didn't know if I'd live, I didn't know if I'd die. He messed up my head. I wasn't winning, I was just a funky, funky day laborer.

Now I'm working for the man. They tell me what to do, and they want me to shine his shoes. But they're not helping me much, I'm just a funky, funky day laborer. They tell me how to act, but I won't act like them. You might think I'm crazy, I'm just a funky, funky, funky day laborer.

And what's crazy is that it even generate an annotation:

**M** ost people have a sense of irony. Some sense more than others. A "funky" is someone who is aware of a particular situation and is willing to make a joke about it. You are what you make of your situation.

An iron worker, for example, is a funky. An iron worker is very aware of his situation. He is aware of the ironworker's work. He has heard about the ironworker's work before he begins. He probably knows what he is getting into. He may be able to predict it well in advance, but he is still funky. When he does his work, his head is up against the wall, he is looking up to the ceiling. If the ironworker falls, he doesn't care. He is still pretty funky. An ironworker is the man who falls on the beam and says, "That's the way the iron's gotta go."

A construction worker is probably less funky than the ironworker, though there are some who get the same satisfaction from their work. For most of us, we don't really get paid to be able to be funky. Most of us don't want to put a whole lot of extra time or effort into being "funky" any more than we would want to put on a cape and do the same things we would do without it.


---
"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
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joe40001
09/27/21 4:32:40 AM
#23:


This one comes full circle sorta:

Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

I guess you could say that I was born into an ordinary world. Not a very important place, so they tell me. But the family I came from, they had so much love to give, it felt like there was nothing they wouldn't do for me. But this is how it went: one minute I'm riding along, the next, my world was all flipped-turned upside down.

I went from white bread and my sister's apple pie, to champagne and filet mignon. But still I kept missing my old hometown like a hole in the dough. The place that made me, became the last thing on my mind. I was searching for the American dream, that big white house on a corner of a street named California. But it didn't look like no ordinary street back then, like Bel Air. There was nothing but stars in Bel Air, and they looked like my friends and neighbors. Well, they seemed so close, but that didn't matter 'cause they were further away than yesterday, and today. I could never find them. And it was sad, because I knew them just like the back of my hand. The only thing that I really missed, was the sweet old place I used to know. The place where they had the dirt so sweet, I used to plow the earth there with my dad. I said, "It's just like the song says: 'This is the story of how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air."

And this one is definitely supposed to be a song:
Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. Now, I'm Bel Air's new king, you know what I'm sayin'? And my wife is my number one, she knows what I'm talkin' about. I mean, a girl named Alonzie. Now, we got a couple of cars in the garage and a couple of nice things I still want. But as of today, I'm a changed man. I'm through with just being a good husband and a good father. From here on in, I'm gonna be the baddest cat in Bel Air. Yeah! I'm through with all the other nonsense too, that mother[bleep] up! It's showtime!

[Chorus]

Now, I'm gonna tell you about a boy, named William. And his dad was a famous football player. And his moms was a famous actress. And the whole world wanted to be like Bill, but he was shy. And the neighbors would knock on the door, and say, Willy, come on out. You got a crowd out there wanna see you. But Willy had his head down. He'd stay in the bedroom and hide. But then he'd hear the roar of the crowd. So Willy would rush from the bedroom door and throw on a robe. And just yell from the top of his lungs, Look at me! It's showtime!

[Chorus]

And now, the night time called, so this boy, Bill, he had to leave. His wife, she knew the way. His son, he said, Dad, he said, I'm tired. But there's just one more thing, son. What's that, Dad? Before you go, I need you to know, you've been the best. It's showtime!

[Chorus]

I'm gonna tell you about a boy, named William. And his dad was a famous football player. And his moms was a famous actress. And the whole world wanted to be like Bill, but he was shy. And the neighbors would knock on the door, and say, Willy, come on out. You got a crowd out there wanna see you. But Willy had his head down. He'd stay in the bedroom and hide. But then he'd hear the roar of the crowd. So Willy would rush from the bedroom door and throw on a robe. And just yell from the top of his lungs, Look at me! It's showtime!

And now, the night time called, so this boy, Bill, he had to leave. His wife, she knew the way. His son, he said, Dad, he said, I'm tired. But there's just one more thing, son. What's that, Dad? Before you go, I need you to know, you've been the best. It's showtime! It's showtime!

---
"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
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Strider102
09/27/21 4:39:58 AM
#24:


Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. Never gonna let nobody hurt you."

Re: Just because you have a big chest, doesn't mean you have a lot of respect

Quote:

Originally Posted by I Love You Now and Forever

Just because you have a big chest, doesn't mean you have a lot of respect

Oh. Okay.

My husband has a big chest. And he has a lot of respect.

Oh. Okay.

I don't think he has as much respect for people that do certain types of things. Like, he has some respect for women who take birth control because he doesn't want to have a family. And he has some respect for people that don't have kids because he doesn't want to be a father.

Re: Just because you have a big chest, doesn't mean you

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Last Cloudia ID: 188850453
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YugiNoob
09/27/21 6:25:04 AM
#25:


I think the AI checked around CE for this follow up lol

A hungry pitbull is walking towards his food dish when he spots a lone toddler. The pitbull runs towards the baby and begins attacking him. The toddler breaks away and runs into the house, followed by the pitbull who chases him inside. The pitbull finds the toddler and begins mauling him. He tears his shirt and pants, and chews up the left side of his face. Meanwhile, a woman is coming home from work to find her four-year-old son standing with his left leg bent at the knee as if he had just stepped on a nail. He has two very serious puncture wounds, which are bleeding profusely. She goes into the room to see the childs mom sitting on the floor, trying to stop the bleeding from the punctures with her shirt.

When she gets close, the mother asks her what happened to the childs leg. The woman replies that she doesnt know, but that she came to check on the child after she got home from work.

---
Bun bun :3
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archedsoul
09/27/21 6:28:20 AM
#26:


The moon exploded in a brilliant flash and shower of red dust this morning (July 23) as it collided with the asteroid Ryugu. And the result was spectacular. We can see it clearly from this earthbound vantage point.

This week will be very busy, and Ill be trying to post at least a few times a day. Were looking forward to seeing all your images, and posting them as we go.

Theres still time to get in on the action if you want to contribute your images. Well be releasing a bunch of images in time, but the early access opportunities will not be open to everyone.

Theres also a great new feature for visitors to the gallery here on Earth.

The visitor can vote, and vote they did. Their vote was for you! You were the top image by far, receiving more votes than anyone else. Congratulations to the winner.


---
"Fear cuts deeper than swords."
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Master_Bass
09/27/21 6:30:59 AM
#27:


Harry Potter was just told he had cancer. Now, he and the other wizarding children at Hogwarts need help.

Holly Wood an average thirteen-year-old with short brown hair, blue eyes, and the usual fair complexion lived a life with few friends. She was very smart for her age, and her parents thought it was a waste of time to keep her inside all the time. They were the type of parents who wanted the best for their children they were very strict, but loving.

In sixth year, Hollys life was changed. The Dursleys moved away and left her alone at home. On the same day, she met a group of students called the Gryffindors, who seemed to understand her much better than the rest. She became very close to a group of friends called the Lumos Scholars, but then one of them fell ill. She could tell it would be fatal. The Lumos Scholars

---
Many Bothans died to bring you this post.
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Kisai
09/27/21 6:37:03 AM
#28:


Sakura Kinomoto had created a portal to enter Madoka Kaname's world. Sakura and Kero decided they were going to team up with Madoka to kill Kyubey. In the meantime, Madoka learned about the portal and her friends and decided to seal away the portal to get her friends back. However, Madoka didn't know how to seal away the portal without destroying it and thus, Madoka was trapped in another world.

Sakura's friends decided to take the Madoka's memories and send Madoka to the real world in the body of a child so that she wouldn't remember the alternate world. Kero was told to protect Madoka since she was the only survivor of this alternate world.

The battle continued when Madoka was sent to the real world. While fighting Kyubey and destroying his homeworld and thus saving it, Madoka gained the power of Kero's sword and used it to seal away the alternate world. However, Kero ended up sealing away the real world as well and Madoka ended up trapped in both worlds, the real world as a child and the alternate world as a teenager.

Mad

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WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
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Reverend_Wilson
09/27/21 6:38:26 AM
#29:


aidungeon is better

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I like to eat poop.
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bulletproofvita
09/27/21 6:39:00 AM
#30:


so that's it huh we're some kind of suicide squad" "Oh God, you too?" "What?" "You were always going to kill yourself huh?" "Yeah" "We're in for it then" "Hey, this is no good" "I shoulda said this was a bad idea" "Look I don't think I'll be able to stay here I think I'm going to have to go" "You can't go." "We've come this far for you" "No, there's more to it" "I'm not good enough for you guys anymore" "You're different, you're a good guy" "No, I'm not" "We won't let you go" "How are you gonna stop me?" "If I try to escape with their guns they'll kill me" "All I want is to be left alone" "I really hate all of this" "Well, it's your decision, but, uh..." "Well, I won't try to stop you if you go

Well that was weird

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I don't do signatures.
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Kisai
09/27/21 6:39:10 AM
#31:








Holy shit, it actually works with other languages.

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WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
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Verdekal
09/27/21 8:10:09 AM
#32:


Can't wait for the AI generated erotica.

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Don't tease the octopus, kids!
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joe40001
09/27/21 8:13:05 AM
#33:


Verdekal posted...
Can't wait for the AI generated erotica.

The site was very capable of generating it, but it can get pretty graphic, so nobody is likely going to share it here.

---
"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
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archedsoul
09/27/21 8:20:04 AM
#34:


Verdekal posted...
Can't wait for the AI generated erotica.
I fucked Lara Croft, and the first time I did this was so long ago, that I hardly remember. It wasnt like this. You fuck Lara Croft in the ass in real life, like really the first time, you are looking at her ass through a hole in the back of a room, youre looking at her ass, and its all bright lights and a man is standing in front of you, and Lara Croft is looking back and shes asking you, is there a camera there, is there a camera there, and then you cant understand, you dont understand the words, and shes talking with her fucking British English accent and the man is behind her, and it was such a great day for everyone that it was really a special thing that I thought that people would really enjoy looking at Lara Crofts ass in real life, instead of in movies and photos and stuff like that, like.

---
"Fear cuts deeper than swords."
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Mareen
09/27/21 8:22:58 AM
#36:


YugiNoob asked the users of CE to generate some stories for a new, upcoming, video game, with a focus on the art and the soundtrack. What do you think about this request?

Hello everyone, YugiNoob here! I am starting another feature here on Ce. The goal of this feature is to have our readers give us some feedback and to get some fresh ideas. As the title says, the theme of the feature is story generators for a new upcoming game, so you should feel free to give us whatever ideas you might have. The one limitation of the feature is that it should be a story generator for a video game. So it is limited to existing (and soon-to-be-released) titles, but it is still open to any suggestions.

Please help us out with this! We are starting up again, and if you want to support us then we can help you with a new game concept!

Also note that we are starting with just one concept. After we gather enough ideas we will finish the project.

---
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joe40001
09/27/21 8:59:12 AM
#37:


archedsoul posted...
...

You gotta give it more than that. Like 2-4 sentences of decently written erotica setup if you want it to generate a good result.

It's autocomplete, so if you sound like a 13 year old typing his first story about sex and boobs it's going to continue like that.

---
"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
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moh82sy
09/27/21 10:42:04 AM
#38:


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I had a friend that I went to see his new baby! He was a new father and he was so excited to show me his first baby! But I was a bit intimidated! I had only seen three or four newborns before, and I was still on the fence on whether I was ready to have a baby. I went into the room with a smile, but I was still hesitant. I wasnt sure if it was going to feel different. Would the baby be able to see me? Would he want to see me? Would I even be allowed to touch him? After he set up his camera and I began taking off my clothes, he left the room. He left the room to go to the bathroom. While he was gone, the baby got restless and started crying. Now it wasnt a cry for attention. It was a cry for food. He was hungry and wanted to eat. I was sitting on a chair and heard him cry for his food. I wondered if I should go to his side and feed him, so I did. He wasnt a typical baby at all. He sat up in the crib and started looking at me. His face was full of emotions. It was a mixture of frustration, anger, happiness, and joy. He was definitely not a baby that wanted to see me, but he certainly enjoyed seeing me and knowing that I was there. I went to his side and started playing with him. He was very playful and I felt like I could play with him as long as I wanted to. After a little while, his mom came back and we played for a little while longer. She told me how he slept peacefully while she breastfed. I could see he was enjoying that. I got to see that first smile. That first laugh. I was right. I could see the joy in his mothers face when she told me that he had smiled. Im sure they both had a smile when they left the room. It was a lot of fun to see him interact with his mom. I would have loved to get the same first few moments of joy that my own mom would have had with me. I cant know what they had thought when they saw me for the first time. I hope that the first thought in their head was that I was going to be the best person that they had ever seen. The person that was going to love them and show them the world.

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moh82sy
09/27/21 10:47:08 AM
#39:


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away There was a man by the name of Luke Skywalker Whose sister Leia was his sister They were raised by their Aunt and Uncle the day after Luke turned 16 And while they both grew up to be very tall Their Uncle was quite fond of them While their Aunt was far too short So Luke went out to face the dark side and became Darth Vader But before his fateful battle was over He gave up his evil ways to his cousin, Princess Leia And they lived happily ever after (Luke, Leia, Auntie and Uncle) "I don't see what's wrong with your aunt and uncle. If you really like one of them, you should marry that one. You never know." ~Pixar

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Questionmarktarius
09/27/21 10:50:13 AM
#40:


Man fan died at the room shot up to 97 degrees on Saturday (Picture: AP) One man who died in India this week after eating a chilli-laced ice cream was the target of a campaign in the Philippines to raise awareness about the dangers of eating hot foods, police said on Friday. Police in the Philippine capital, Manila, said they believe two ice cream sellers, possibly from New Zealand, were responsible for selling ice creams containing as many as 3,000 jalapeo peppers to the victim in the capital. Dangers of eating hot foods: Facts and myths Show all 11 1 /11 Dangers of eating hot foods: Facts and myths Dangers of eating hot foods: Facts and myths You'll get a bigger hot-food rush Burn more fat - A study found that people who took on the hottest fayre (thats anything above 60C) burned around 150 calories more than those who just sat in a draught for half an hour. Dangers of eating hot foods
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Strider102
09/27/21 3:32:17 PM
#41:


SBallen and Cjayc walk into a bar when suddenly Cjayc finds herself in the middle of an ongoing bromance between her boyfriend and his best friend. What can she do but be totally out of it?! But when Cjayc realizes she can take advantage of the situation, she becomes the envy of the group. Can Cjayc's friends and new boyfriend be trusted with her secrets, especially since they're in love with the same man?

What will Cjayc say?

Cj is the most wonderful person I have ever known! She is intelligent, funny, fun to be around, and a loyal friend. She takes no nonsense from anyone, and has a terrific sense of humor. One of the great things about Cj is that she can always make you laugh!Larissa

Cj is an interesting character. I like how she's completely out of touch with the world, but still with that worldly way about her. She has this sarcastic, snark

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Last Cloudia ID: 188850453
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smoke_break
09/27/21 3:53:06 PM
#42:


"I'm glad you could make it," I said, flashing a grin. I was always a fan of women with large breasts. I figured it was the all-American look.

She laughed, "We're glad you could come, too."

"Thanks for the invite."

"Why don't you two join us?" said the man in the suit as he sat down across from us. "I'm sure we can use an extra pair of hands in the kitchen. The food should be done in just a few more minutes."

"Oh, that sounds great!" The women both got up and headed over.

"Thanks for having me, Mr. White. I'd love to help."

He laughed. "Just call me Will."

I could see the women were now busy. "You guys can sit down. I'll start with the appetizers."

"I'd love a cup of coffee," said Will. "If you don't mind."

"No, not at all," I said as I turned to open a cabinet.

---

I expected some erotica. >__>

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Trumble
09/27/21 4:00:08 PM
#43:


Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

How about a good job. They may be on my local news, but the news is very good, especially since the days are changing. All I need is a new laptop and some money.

The fact that is that it is so good that you do not have to worry too much to make it look.

You dont have to worry about having access to your PC in the middle of the city and the road.

But if you want to be more in the front of the road and there are a lot of people on it. A person should be at your service and can even work without the need for internet.

You can even take the laptop to him for a closer look if necessary.

It does not happen every day that you have the advantage of being on a car that can get through the main streets of cities without stopping.

But it happened for some guys and that is their own good luck.

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Me fail Trumble? That's unpossible!
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Strider102
09/27/21 4:04:41 PM
#44:


Vegy was browsing gamefaqs.gamespot.com when suddenly she saw something that made her heart stop. An unknown user was in her top ten favorite videos, the user that had saved her life. "What's her name?" she thought. "I need to thank her!" she exclaimed. "Hm... How about 'Dr._Vegy'?," she thought. "I guess that's nice and simple. I'll send her a message! Hopefully she'll understand that this is a thank you!" She went over to the video of the game, clicked the "send a private message" button, and added the text 'Thanks Vegy.' She then went back to browsing gamefaqs.gamespot.com when she realized something was very odd. "Oh! It just told me that I received a message," she thought, "and I didn't get any messages from anyone." She thought to herself, "Strange, my inbox isn't showing any messages either!" She was about to go see her friends when her cellphone rang. She quickly

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Last Cloudia ID: 188850453
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Kisai
09/27/21 4:06:19 PM
#45:


Sonic the Hedgehog was enjoying another peaceful sunny day of browsing on the internet, when suddenly he saw the most terrifying thing.

"What is this?" said Sonic the Hedgehog to himself. "What on earth is this? A Sonic-shaped hole?"

Well, this Sonic-shaped hole was the worst thing that could happen to Sonic the Hedgehog, because a giant black hole had just appeared in the town of Green Hills, where Sonic lived. Sonic's friends were about to go outside for lunch when the big hole in the ground suddenly appeared, making them panic.

"What is going on?" said Tails.

"That's no hole," said Sonic.

"What does it mean?" asked Knuckles.

"The hedgehog must have hit it with his own hedgehog," said the fastest hedgehog in the world.

"We have to find the hole!" said Cheese.

"Maybe Sonic is still in the hole," said Vector.

"We need to get help! We have to close the hole, so it doesn't

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WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
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Trumble
09/27/21 4:08:31 PM
#46:


Hey, it wrote a song.
---

Yo momma so fat, she didnt fit in the truck
She gave birth to you while standing up
She said its cause Im fat, but my daddy said I was too lazy
And I still need to work on changing my ways
(I still need to work on changing my ways)
No more fat jokes, no more fat jokes

And youre gonna need to do what your momma needs you to do
And all that fattening up wont work if you dont have her love
She told you that shes gonna buy you that big house on the hill
You gotta remember when you move in
(Remember when you move in)
No more fat jokes, no more fat jokes

Now, if youre going to the store, you gotta make sure your momma can get out of the truck
No big-ass SUV, just make sure your momma can get her car in and out
I told your mama what I think about her getting that car
I told her that I dont want her getting too drunk
(I dont want her getting too drunk)
No more fat jokes, no more fat jokes

I tell you what, son, were not leaving this house until weve had this fat talk
Just talk to your momma and your mamas mama and your uncle Fred
Tell your brother Dont be a fat clown, tell your sister Stop stuffing your face
I see your daddy walking on the field, the sun is shining
Hes coming to check on his little fat clown
(Little fat clown)

No more fat jokes, no more fat jokes
No more fat jokes, no more fat jokes
No more fat jokes, no more fat jokes
(No more fat jokes)
(No more fat jokes)

Chorus:
I dont want to see you go to the doctor
I dont want you to get that heart surgery
Im gonna tell ya this just one time
I dont want to see you go to the hospital
I dont want you to feel sad when you lose a tooth
If you break a rib, a bone, or get injured
Im gonna tell ya this just one time
Dont be a fat clown
(Dont be a fat clown)
(Dont be a fat clown)
Dont be a fat clown
(Dont be a fat clown)
(Dont be a fat clown)

I told your daddy what I think about him getting that car
And I told him that I was ashamed to look at him
I told him that his wife was a whore and so is he
He was just a clown and thats what I meant
(Oh, youre just a clown)
(Youre just a clown)

Chorus:
I dont want to see you go to the doctor
I dont want you to get that heart surgery
Im gonna tell ya this just one time
I dont want to see you go to the hospital
I dont want you to feel sad when you lose a tooth
If you break a rib, a bone, or get injured
Im gonna tell ya this just one time
Dont be a fat clown
(Dont be a fat clown)
(Dont be a fat clown)
Dont be a fat clown
(Dont be a fat clown)
(Dont be a fat clown)

I told your daddy what I think about him getting that car
And I told him that I was ashamed to look at him
I told him that his wife was a whore and so is he
He was just a clown and thats what I meant
(Oh, youre just a clown)
(Youre just a clown)
(Youre just a clown)
(Youre just a clown)

Chorus

---
Me fail Trumble? That's unpossible!
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Trumble
09/27/21 4:11:50 PM
#47:


Fucking hell, it can even write something that at least resembles code.
---

class Fart
{
public:
// C++ doesn't seem to allow a default constructor. Why is that?
Fart() { cerr << "A very unusual fart.\n"; }
virtual ~Fart() { cerr << "Nooooooo!\n"; }
};

class FartEatingPanda : public Fart
{
public:
// We only need to define one method. The base class will take care of
// the rest.
virtual void eatIt() { cerr << "Pfft, you can't touch this.\n"; }
};

void printTheInfo(Fart& f) {
cerr << "Name of object:\t" << f.name << endl;
cerr << "Class of object:\t" << f.klass << endl;
cerr << "Does it eat?:\t" << (f.klass == FartEatingPanda::klass()) << endl;
cerr << "Size of object:\t" << (f.klass == FartEatingPanda::klass()) << endl;
}

int main()
{
Fart f;
FartEatingPanda fp;

printTheInfo(f);
printTheInfo(fp);
}

---
Me fail Trumble? That's unpossible!
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Kisai
09/27/21 4:21:51 PM
#48:


Trumble posted...
Fucking hell, it can even write something that at least resembles code.
Yeah, you can see that in the HTML and C examples.

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WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
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Trumble
09/27/21 4:28:30 PM
#49:


Best one yet tbh. The censored word is the cross between "shit" and "fart"; I don't believe it's on this site's actual censor list so it'd probably be considered a censor bypass - but note that I wrote it uncensored into the site, then censored the output.
---

What, exactly, is a "s****"?

A word that was never used in the English language until this week. And which has been used in reference to an individual named Donald Trump since August, at least.

Advertisement:

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In one of the most outrageous moments in a week full of them, a man in the crowd of 3,000 at the New Hampshire GOP candidates rally yelled S**** repeatedly, repeatedly until the New Hampshire GOP, Trumps campaign, the Republican Party, the Times, CNN and nearly every other media outlet on the planet covered the story.

There is no evidence that Donald Trump had anything to do with the man's words. Indeed, Trump was not at the rally until after it was over, and there is nothing that the man did that anyone has suggested shows that Trump's campaign, the GOP or the Republican Party incited the man to say it.

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The reason everyone has been calling it a "s****" is that it sounds just like "shit." That's why Trump retweeted this meme that calls the New York Times coverage of the story fake shit.

It is time to act in Congress. Trump needs to get the hell out of the White House, Trump wrote.

---
Me fail Trumble? That's unpossible!
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Kisai
09/27/21 4:30:59 PM
#50:


Somehow, Palpatine has returned. This has been his plan all along and now he is ready to carry it out. All the Empire needs to do is send in a fleet and the new war will begin. This time, it will be for the total destruction of the New Republic. But with such a vast force against them, the New Republic is going to need the help of a few unlikely heroes.

A New Order will be built. An empire will rise.

In the words of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, Its time.

This is, simply put, a re-imagining of the classic war and politics themes, a Rise of the Empire re-imagining. This is an original, non-canon storyline, separate from the canon Star Wars universe, using only canon characters and situations. This tale takes place in the time period between Episode III and Episode IV.

This story covers the first year of the Galactic Empire. It

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WHO MODS THE MODERATORS?
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Trumble
09/27/21 5:29:36 PM
#51:


What exactly will SBAllen do to GameFAQs and CE next?

He will do nothing. GameFAQs is owned by CE, and CE is owned by EA.

They would have to shut their respective sites down to "unite" in order to shut SBAllen down. Since they're controlled by the same people, they wouldn't do that. And besides, they don't want to do anything that's good for their corporate masters. They'd rather have you on their site, which would mean having ads everywhere, a lot of people complaining about how hard it is to find what you want to find, and a lot of fake stuff getting posted in the 'hot' sections, which are controlled by SBAllen.

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Me fail Trumble? That's unpossible!
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