Board 8 > Half my life ago today, I shattered a guy's testicle.

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 10:00:02 AM
#1:


I...thnk it was his left one.

Incoming three-part story. Names have been changed to protect the guilty AF.

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 10:10:18 AM
#2:


PART ONE

It was July 1st, 2003 -- the summer before my senior year of high school. I'm almost eighteen and had just been no-showed on a date out of town by a girl on her own birthday. I drive back to my town disappointed, so I decide to ride around the square before going home. In my small town, that's about all the excitement there is to find there. It's how you see who all was around to hang out with each night. I'm also driving a new car I got about a week ago for an early eighteenth birthday present...so I didn't wanna go home on just the sad note of being deserted.

I get to the square and my friend Lodi is there. He's a freshmen who is openly drinking beers from the truckbed in the middle of town this night, so a story seemed sure to be right here. Little did I know...! I pull in and get out, just wanting to catch up a minute. Instead, he points behind me right away with a warning.
"You don't wanna be here tonight."

I turn around and see two people arguing. Trint was an upcoming junior, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs; I later find out he is drunk, high, and pilled up at this time. BK is my age and he always has his distinct cowboy hat on. On this night, he is calmly trying to deescalate the situation -- "Now Trint, just chill the fuck out."

I see the mess brewing and consider Lodi's warning; there is no need for tonight to get any worse. I turn around and start to get back into my car. However, I hear Trint scream my name from behind me. I spin back around and see him storming toward me.

"GET IN YOUR CAR!"

"I will if you step away, okay?"

Trint immediately punches me in my left temple. This should have been game over right away, but I allow it to be strike one. I'm still trying to negotiate with him in an effort to keep my new car safe, but I'm harsher about it now.

"Trint, get the fuck away and I'll leave."

Trint then grabs my new car's door -- strike two -- and slams it on me -- strike three. I've been in many fights before this but I have no desire to be in another fight here. Trint's abusing my passiveness though -- he's probably too scared to fight BK so he's taking it out on me -- so I decide I'm going to make real short work here.

I size Trint up, then I let my legs that were squatting 450 pounds at the time do what I think will be the end of this. I take a step forward with my left leg, then I take my right leg and raise my knee as hard as I can between Trint's legs.

This should have been over right here -- he should have fallen, buckled, screamed, or any sign at all like that so I'd know it was over. Instead, he stumbles back a step and kinda jerks his head in a weird way...so is it really over? I don't take the chance. I'm bench-pressing 230 pounds around this time, and I jab Trint straight in the nose with my right fist.
I instantly know it's a good hit because his nose explodes with blood -- to the point that there was still a puddle of blood on the square the next day -- but Trint is still standing and looking menacingly at me. I panic here and put him in a headlock to figure out what it's gonna take.

Trint's cussing me out from this bad position he's in while I'm yelling at him to leave me alone. I eventually bluff him and said I'll gouge his eyes with my car keys if he doesn't get back, and he thankfully backs off...for a moment. I shove him away and get in my new car to pull aout of there. Trint sticks his head in my open window and screams though, now a bloody mess. He was a horrifying monster in this moment, and it ends with him spitting blood all over my face and new car's interior. With almost no time wasted, I name my new car (Bloody) Mary.

This was a bad day to wear white. I pull into a friend's house first to clean up before I go home, but there's no real help to be had. The side of my shirt is soaked in red from the headlock, there's blood speckled across my face and hair, and it's staining all over the inside of my car. My friend opened his home's door and said "Damn man, where did you bury the body?!" I clean up a little, go home, and explain what happened to my parents. Things are pretty well okay for the moment.

The next day, I get a phonecall at home. My mom answers, asks me to pick up, and stays on the phone when I answer. Trint had called me, telling me to fight him like a man and that he's got two fists and a baseball bat with my name on it. My mom hears all this and jumps in.

"Well, you started it."

A pause.

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch."

I have a window in my bedroom with a view into the kitchen, where I see my mom's jaw drop at this moment. We both hang up and I'm now ready to really whip his ass this time. My parents ground me over this -- not so much because I'm wrong as it is important that I stay smart and safe.

Information trickles in the rest of this week. My friends think I'm THE biggest pussy around for breaking mancode -- like any of them had been forced into as many fights as me before. A police officer I know tells me Trint was bloody and blindly wandering the streets until he got to the police station, where he was complaining about his nose. There were no other complaints from Trint there except his nose -- the police had no awareness of what else had happened to him before the punch. Rumors are quickly told by people I don't know that I study karate...not true.

The biggest info came from Trint's cousin though. She tells me when Trint called me he was actually calling from the hospital. Doctors discovered that a testicle had shattered upon contact, so they cleaned his scrotum's fragments out and replaced the damaged goods with a rubber ball to make things look normal again.

My gut sinks. My parents had always raised me to never hit a man in the privates, and this must be why. I pray for my first time ever that Trint will find peace, but I know deep down this prayer won't be answered anytime soon. I now have a life-long enemy...and we begin school together again in a month.

I really wish my date would have showed up earlier that day. She'll never know how much that changed our lives.

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MZero
06/14/21 10:21:26 AM
#3:


sounds like he deserved it tbh

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MrSmartGuy
06/14/21 10:40:22 AM
#4:


I remember this story. Not as distinctly as your carnival shenanigans, but a lot of this is very familiar.

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Pokalicious
06/14/21 10:57:02 AM
#5:


Tag

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colliding
06/14/21 10:59:52 AM
#6:


why didn't you get in your car when he told you to.

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:05:43 AM
#7:


PART TWO

It was the middle of November, 2003. I'm now eighteen and transitioning from football season to basketball season. Trint and I have some run-ins since school began, mostly of him yelling at me when he thought teachers weren't around. It never got physical though...until this day.

My best friend and I are walking out of the school office down the main hallway. I see Trint walking toward us, which I ignore and don't pay any attention to...until he runs his shoulder into me. He probably thinks he could shoulder-check me and keep on walking just because he got away with yelling at me a few times.

I turn around to shove him, but I stop just in time because of two reasons:

1) I'm eighteen now and don't want to risk legal trouble.

2) I see the Vice Principal is right in front of us -- with his back turned and unaware, but still nearby.

So I stop myself before I fully extend my arms, but Trint turns around and sees me frozen mid-motion...so he decides this is his chance to really make a scene with me. He gets in my face and calls me a bunch of names: motherfucker, bitch, bastard -- you know, the classics. The Vice Principal is still unaware, but the rest of the kids in the hall are circling now and are well aware of our history.

So, I ain't taking this abuse anymore. If Trint insists on bringing up this issue, let's settle it. He wants to call me all these names that don't mean anything to me? Okay. I got one name for him that's gonna mean everything. I step toward him.

"Oh yeah? Well you're a one-balled freak."

Trint continues insulting me until he realizes what I said.

"You wuss, you punk-ass, you son of a -- WAIT, WHAT?!"

And just like that, the rematch is on.
Trint immediately swings, once again hooking me in my left temple...should have learned that was his go-to by now. We scuffle it out from here -- wild swings, shirt-grabs, whatever -- until the Vice Principal finally realizes what's happening and breaks it up. He drags Trint to the Principal's office while I'm taken away to the Guidance Counseler's office.

It's important to be clear how close these offices are to each other. They are both in the middle of this hallway past the main office about four feet apart, and their doors face each other on opposite sides of this hall. My door has a window while his door does not, so I can always see anybody walking in and out of his room.

Trint is taken in front of me to that door on the left side of the hallway by the Vice Principal, then I'm guided to the door on the right side by the Guidance Counseler. I'm given an ice pack and am asked to explain what happened. While I tell my side of the story, I see the Principal and Student Resource Officer enter Trint's room from my door's window. It's decided that I'm not gonna be in trouble but I need to stay away from people awhile, so I'm asked to stay in her office the rest of this next class period. She locks the door and leaves as I lean back in her chair, looking out the window.

Some time passes. Eventually, the Principal's door opens. Trint walks out first in front of the three other adults, and we lock eyes through my door's window. I'm relaxed in this staff chair with my ice pack, and I know the door is locked. I also don't know what to do when making eye contact with somebody I just called a one-balled freak. So...some combination of those factors led me to the single movement I made here: one of those "'Sup?" nods.

This generally mild-mannered gesture is enough to make this boy break bad. He goes berserk and charges at my door. Since my door is locked though, I had the best seat in the house for this next moment; Trint busts his head on the door's window, falls down, gets back up, and then gets FULL-NELSON SLAMMED BACK DOWN ONTO TILE BY THE OFFICER. That officer puts him in handcuffs and drags him away to juvie. It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen.

I find out later at home that Trint knew he was wrong to fight me on July 1st and he was wrong again to fight me this day too. Trint tells them the only reason he wanted to fight me in July was because he just didn't like me...that's it, just didn't like me. He said all this right before my little head-nod, and now he's been arrested over the issue. I'm not sure what emotion is strong enough for how he feels about me at this moment.

This problem has proven to get physical again now, so my family sets up a meeting for us to get a restraining order. I don't really know that this restraining order was 100% completed, but Dad did take me to the courthouse. I see Trint there and meet his dad. Things are more or less cordial here; I learn our dads used to have beers together once upon a time. I watch Trint talk briefly with the judge.

I don't see Trint again for another three or four months, but just because he's not gonna be around awhile doesn't mean drama can't still happen.

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RyoCaliente
06/14/21 11:11:09 AM
#8:


Aren't you the writing guy? I just can't take a story like this seriously with the "I was squatting x pounds and bench-pressing x pounds" intervals.

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colliding
06/14/21 11:12:43 AM
#9:


that second one is on you; you can't make fun of the guy you one-nutted for only having one nut and expect a different reaction

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:24:37 AM
#10:


colliding posted...
why didn't you get in your car when he told you to.

I was doing so until it didn't feel safe for me or the car to do so any further.

colliding posted...
that second one is on you; you can't make fun of the guy you one-nutted for only having one nut and expect a different reaction

Fair, but also at least that was my first time doing that. He had been in my face getting physical with me first before and already knew that ends in a bad time. He shouldn't have kept pressing his already-bad luck.

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:28:28 AM
#11:


RyoCaliente posted...
Aren't you the writing guy? I just can't take a story like this seriously with the "I was squatting x pounds and bench-pressing x pounds" intervals.

I promise not to mention my football gym milestones anywhere else in this story. Now you can take this seriously.

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:31:21 AM
#12:


MZero posted...
sounds like he deserved it tbh

He deserved a hit the balls, but I dunno that he deserved that damage. That's a bad bad bad bad wicked-bad level of deserve. The dude had definite problems but like I still empathize.

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Sunroof
06/14/21 11:38:07 AM
#13:


Dont listen to these guys. You have been in the right every time so far. Fuck this Trint guy. Onto part three!
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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:40:13 AM
#14:


MrSmartGuy posted...
I remember this story. Not as distinctly as your carnival shenanigans, but a lot of this is very familiar.

Yeah I've shared this story a few times.

Hoping the carnival opens back up this year!

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 12:13:41 PM
#15:


PART THREE

It was the middle of January, 2004. It's my last semester of high school and I've already been accepted into the one college I wanted (Go Big Orange!). My schedule's sweet and I have this Botany class with a bunch of friends of mine. Things are good, until the roll call.

The teacher reads everyone's names and Trint's name is read aloud. He's not here though -- he's still suspended from school. Some classmates look at me for my reaction. I wait until after class to talk with the teacher about my history with Trint; it's her first year teaching and she may not have been in the loop of this weird BS. My hope is that me doing the right thing here will allow me to stay in the class and kick him out, especially since he's still suspended and not around. The teacher makes a note and we move on.

Next day, the Principal wants to talk with me. I'm told that I'm being removed from Botany and am being placed in ACT Prep, and I am furious. Not only am I being removed from the class I wanted for someone not attending our school now, I'm being placed in a class designed to help students get into college...when I've already been accepted. I feel punished.

I ask why this is happening, and the policy for No Child Left Behind comes up. You see, Trint never did well in school and he couldn't be expected to succeed in a class like ACT Prep. Since the only other classroom with available seats at that time was Botany, he had to be in that class...and even though he's suspended for repeatedly trying to mess with me, I'm the one who has to be removed because WHAT IF HE COMES BACK? And now, for me, the only class left from there with space available was ACT Prep. I wasn't happy, I told the Principal I wasn't happy, and she said that was the way it had to be.

I go home, fully confident I've been wronged...and I ain't taking it. I get on my computer and type up a one-page petition explaining my position. It covers a brief history with Trint, the reasons why I shouldn't be switching classes, and a call to action: sign the petition and tell the staff this is wrong to remove me from class.

I print enough petitions for every class to have a copy all four periods of the day, and then I sleep soundly in anticipation of tomorrow's certain justice.

The next day, petitions are circulating and high-fives are a-plenty. My heart feels heavy this day because I'm working fast before class to cover the whole school, then the next hour and a half I'm having to sit still in anticipation of it all. First period goes great; I pick up signed petitions during the break, then I rinse-lather-repeat for second period. I'm looking forward to handing this huge pile of petitions over at the end of the day.

Toward the end of second period though, I'm in Agriculture and I hear this real angry announcement over the intercom: "HARRICH, PLEASE COME TO THE OFFICE -- HARRICH." The Ag-class ooooohs and aaaaahs at me, and a friend sings Bob Marley at me.

"GET UP, STAND UP -- STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS!"

I take my signed petitions and walk down what feels like the longest emptiest hallway. I get to the Principal's office, where she and the Vice Principal await me. Surprise -- they're pretty mad! They are sure to repeat everything she said yesterday, this time louder than before. I'm giving it right back to them, this time loving the fact that I can point to signatures from multiple pages to back me up. We leave at a stand-still...nothing has changed. I'm still expected to stay in ACT Prep and I just need to get over it.

I go home, ready to kick it up a notch and talk with the Superintendent...but I've been intercepted by my parents. These people are clever alright. The staff had called my family five times through-out the day about this petition situation and everybody's ready for it to end. It doesn't help that the staff I'm arguing with were once family friends (before I was born, but still). I try to clarify that this isn't about individual staff members but rather the system itself, but it's not a good feeling to not have your family with you in this time of need. I deflate and accept the lame fate the George W. Bush Administration had decided on through bi-partisan agreement for me. In hindsight though, I wish I would have fought that battle more because the policy sucks and teachers have complained about it ever since...but my parents were happier now too, so I guess whatever.

So, about Trint: what happened with Trint? He returns to school about a month later, stays for a week, and transfers to a different school afterward. I hope the school is happy with their decisions. They'd be the only ones.

Never should have told the teacher my history with Trint. Leave no good deed unpunished......

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Pokalicious
06/14/21 12:16:21 PM
#16:


HaRRicH posted...
"Oh yeah? Well you're a one-balled freak."
ROFL

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ph33r teh masta~!
Currently playing - Pokemon GO
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CoolCly
06/14/21 12:19:20 PM
#17:


great story, is this your next play?

i await the thrilling conclusion

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colliding
06/14/21 12:37:01 PM
#18:


Boo hoo you couldn't take high school botany. You broke a kid's testicle you sociopath

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MZero
06/14/21 12:40:38 PM
#19:


you had Agriculture AND Botany? That's a lot of plants

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 12:41:50 PM
#20:


I liked your angle the first post or two colliding, but this became low-grade trolling fast

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 12:49:05 PM
#21:


MZero posted...
you had Agriculture AND Botany? That's a lot of plants

Pretty rural parts!

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 12:50:14 PM
#22:


CoolCly posted...
great story, is this your next play?

Ha, I better not.

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 12:51:21 PM
#23:


IN CONCLUSION:

Defend yourself whenever you legitimately have to however you truly need to. Just know you make a blood enemy doing it like this.

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CoolCly
06/14/21 12:58:08 PM
#24:


kinda weak ending. was it a conscious choice to have an unreliable narrator that believes he's the hero of the story despite at best being neutral or maybe even the villain? really fizzled out at the end either way, no pay off.

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barreldragon88
06/14/21 1:13:10 PM
#25:


That's some bs policy. Forcing a student to take a class he has no need for is just dumb

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 1:25:05 PM
#26:


There are no heroes here, except that locked door with the window.

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Sunroof
06/14/21 1:37:30 PM
#27:


Great write-up. Trint and your school officials suck.
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JayLv100
06/14/21 1:57:38 PM
#28:


I was really hoping the finale would be that the two of you unknowingly ended up living across the hall from each other in the same dorms

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 3:21:06 PM
#29:


Oh yes I forgot to mention we unknowingly ended up living across the hall from each other in the same dorm afterward.

Now that's what I call a stocky situation!

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swirIdude
06/14/21 3:26:00 PM
#30:


Are you the guy who takes testicles from the losers of AlecTrevelyan's testicle bets?

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 3:28:21 PM
#31:


Only one man's got the balls for that job.

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Sunroof
06/14/21 3:30:28 PM
#32:


It was important how much Harrich lifted at the time because I gave context to the damage done.

Are you a writer?
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greengravy294
06/14/21 4:09:30 PM
#33:


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colliding
06/14/21 5:18:03 PM
#34:


I was just having fun, no trolling intended

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Brayze_II
06/14/21 5:43:56 PM
#35:


greengravy294 posted...
Aw man that's nuts
Aw, that man's nut

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Waluigi1
06/14/21 7:14:35 PM
#36:


Brayze_II posted...
Aw, that man's nut
Lmao nice you got me good.

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BlueCrystalTear
06/14/21 7:25:03 PM
#37:


JayLv100 posted...
I was really hoping the finale would be that the two of you unknowingly ended up living across the hall from each other in the same dorms

This would involve Trint actually going to college. And it's pretty damn clear that he didn't. Seriously, though? Fuck that guy. What a jerkwad. If you don't like somebody, exorcise them from your life. Don't be a bully.
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Eddv
06/14/21 9:06:51 PM
#38:


So did you nut on the guys face or what

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:50:01 PM
#39:


colliding posted...
I was just having fun, no trolling intended

S'all good, couldn't tell with that third one but we cool. <3

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HaRRicH
06/14/21 11:51:06 PM
#40:


Sunroof posted...
Are you a writer?

How much larger does my story gotta be to answer this question?

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Sunroof
06/14/21 11:58:27 PM
#41:


I mean, professionally? As a hobby?
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Sunroof
06/14/21 11:58:44 PM
#42:


And dont give me anymore lip.
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HaRRicH
06/15/21 12:02:13 AM
#43:


Eddv posted...
So did you nut on the guys face or what

As in why Trint didn't like me? Never really knew. We never really had anything together except a little bit of football where he would quit after seeing I was ahead of him for free safety. It felt clear to me he didn't like me from the beginning, but like we didn't fight or say anything nasty about it...just a demeanor.

Before that, Trint used to steal Toosie Rolls from a fat kid and throw them at him in the middle of the night at 4H Camp before my brother would break it up and get Trint in trouble. I'm stretching for reasons here but like I don't know what else to say about why he didn't like me.

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HaRRicH
06/15/21 12:03:49 AM
#44:


Sunroof posted...
I mean, professionally? As a hobby?

Both -- one of those writers getting work done but with another job to support too.

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HaRRicH
06/15/21 12:05:19 AM
#45:


Sunroof posted...
And dont give me anymore lip.

My next topic will be about the man I cost a lip.

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