Board 8 > Would you date someone almost 20 years younger than you?

(+) Yeah! (+)

What do you say?

Note the person in question is legal.

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at this stage of my life, the answer is a very easy no

ask again in 60 years, and uh maybe?
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Sure if I was 50+

But I'm not
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Well, this'd have to be in the far future.
Sure.

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9 year old?

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I'm 39, so the person would be 19.

The answer is yes.

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Ask me again in 2 years

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Would I date a 20 years old girl if I was 40?
Yes

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I would not date a literal child, no

tho as I said in the other related topic people fresh out of high school are also like children to me, so maybe ask in another 20-30 years (atm I can't imagine my answer will be yes)

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"almost 20 years younger than you"?

how hypothetical is this hypothetical, TC?

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I'm not even 38 yet, but if I was, it'd still be a no. Maybe if I was in my late 50s?

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I mean, when I'm in my mid-40s, maybe? But even when I was a teenager, I was largely attracted to men in their 30s and 40s. So, I guess I'm on the opposite end of this equation - I have dated someone 17 years older than me. So that younger person would somehow have to have Daddy energy.

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I'm mid 30s and my recent dating post COVID has been one 26 year old woman and one 38 year old guy, and both were bad for reasons unrelated to age... But get younger than mid 20s and I have a huge problem with the maturity/wisdom balance.

TL;DR: age gap doesn't matter as much as an age cutoff for me, but I dont know the upper bound to it yet.

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Toddnesssssssss posted...

What do you say?

Note the person in question is legal.

Oh, so a legal 12 year old.
But if I was 38, still no. I'm not even that self-sufficient. Someone in the relationship has to be.

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Maybe once I hit my 40s or 50s, but a very hard no as long as that would make the other person a minor

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I'm in my late twenties and I already feel like I'm in a completely different place than a college-aged person. The idea of being 40 and dating a 20 year-old is inconceivable to me. I just don't think we'd ever match.

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I'm 30 so the answer is obviously no right now. Though I already think of 20-year-olds as children so I don't think the answer would change until I was at least 50.

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I think the earliest I would ever consider is around 25-30. That's when you're pretty much established in your personality.

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I'm 31. No, I would not date an 11 year old.

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No, I'm not even 30 yet

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I think I'd have to be in my 50s at least. Can't see dating a 20-something in my 40s. (And I'm 27 now so it's not even a question)

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Maybe when I'm in my 60s or older.

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Sure, when I'm in my 40s. If I'm not married by then I probably never will so might as well date hot 20 year olds

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This board is like...early 30s average right? Pretty weird question for us

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I understand this was probably meant if we were older but good god you should've said that

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_stingers_ posted...

This board is like...early 30s average right? Pretty weird question for us

we need to know norenxaq's answer

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Punnyz posted...

I understand this was probably meant if we were older but good god you should've said that

I figured the note saying the person was legal covered that, but yes I will clarify. Basically if you're 38 or above, would you consider dating an 18 or above year old.

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Toddnesssssssss posted...

I figured the note saying the person was legal covered that

Not necessarily. It could be interpreted as the younger person being legal at their age. That's probably how people took it.

Anyway, even if I were 38, still no. I don't think I could see myself dating an 18 year old now, and I'm 31. I have a few platonic friends in their early 20s and sometimes there are significant differences in life experiences and maturity as it is.

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Zachnorn posted...

Not necessarily. It could be interpreted as the younger person being legal at their age. That's probably how people took it.

idk it seemed more logical to me to assume I'm 38+ in this scenario than the age of consent being lowered to 9. One of these is much more likely to happen than the other!

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MZero posted...

idk it seemed more logical to me to assume I'm 38+ in this scenario than the age of consent being lowered to 9. One of these is much more likely to happen than the other!

Also, one of these is just way more plausible all around even setting aside legality.

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I'm 36 so 20 is obviously out of bounds, and in a happy relationship, but for the sake of a hypothetical a hard age limit wouldn't be the dealbreaker here it's the way people grew up.

Like I have a hard time relating to anyone who grew up at any sort of deep level when the Internet was in casual revolution of 2007 form for most of their lives growing up. It's just like what I have in common with these people in terms of values and upbringing. Like anyone who has been immersed in Social Media their whole lives I'm just not going to relate all that well.

With this in mind I feel like 10 years difference is about the limit but there would always be exceptions-- I mean maybe someone was raised in boonieland or maybe someone just avoided smartphones and had very outdoorsy interests I don't know. I feel like the younger they get the rarer and rarer this becomes though.

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It's honestly creepier to be 40 wanting to date a 20 year old, than 30 dating a 10 year old. At least the latter has the excuse of a pedophilia mental disorder.

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foolm0r0n posted...

It's honestly creepier to be 40 wanting to date a 20 year old, than 30 dating a 10 year old. At least the latter has the excuse of a pedophilia mental disorder.

The fact that you think that makes me think that you belong in jail.

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It's weird how my perspective on this has changed. If I was 18 and asked the reverse question I would've said "Of course there's nothing wrong, we're both adults, age is just a number, why should it matter?"

Now I think of an 18-year-old and I'm like "hi kid, no thx"

It wouldn't be a dealbreaker if I first became friends / got to know them in a context where I wasn't aware of their age (such as online). But it would be a dealbreaker if I knew them when they were growing up.
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anything 24 or higher is just a number imho

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Toddnesssssssss posted...

The fact that you think that makes me think that you belong in jail.

Why?

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