Current Events > Help! I had sex with my close friend's ex the same week they broke up, what do?

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:34:42 PM
#1:


We talked more and like each other so we have continued things together and are headed toward a relationship. Should I tell her, should he, or should we just wait until it eventually leaks back to her?

Ill post the whole story in another comment in case anyone wants the full details out of curiosity or to give a better answer on how this should be handled.

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#2
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TreyFlowers
05/11/21 7:35:10 PM
#3:


Is this the original Flawlesslee? the one who hooked up with golden dude? I seriously doubt it. If not, weird to take an old poster's name

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#4
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:36:52 PM
#5:


TreyFlowers posted...
Is this the original Flawlesslee? the one who hooked up with golden dude? I seriously doubt it. If not, weird to take an old poster's name

Yar it's me! I posted a last week proving it. Got to 500 woo!


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Simp
05/11/21 7:37:44 PM
#6:


yeah I have that problem all the time
what with all the sex and friends
that I have

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Joker98
05/11/21 7:37:45 PM
#7:


I wouldn't necessarily say anything yet. Based on the number of people who know, how likely is it to get back to your friend?

If you do decide to post the details I'd be curious lol

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David1988
05/11/21 7:37:46 PM
#8:


JustMyOpinion posted...
Tag


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OffTempo
05/11/21 7:37:55 PM
#9:


Is this one of your famous stories from your past?

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Yazarogi
05/11/21 7:38:35 PM
#10:


what you do, is just not say anything

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Badmotorfinger
05/11/21 7:38:43 PM
#11:


That sounds like a pretty tricky situation. I would just avoid saying anything and maybe keep it under wraps for a while

Give her time to heal. If she's mature about it then after she heals she won't hold it against you
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:40:15 PM
#12:


Long version:

Before I met either of them I saw him (Ren) on a list for a party and was attracted to him so I though Id talk to him at the party. When he gets there I realise he is dating this girl (Sam) already so I did nothing and just like push it to the back of my head.

Since they worked with and were good friend with my best guy friend at the time I eventually became her friend. She said I was her best girl friend and she didnt have any because girls always end up stealing her boyfriend. Over the time I knew her she would always have drama at a party. Accused a guy of drugging her drink once, yelling at 2 girls who showed up to a party she co-hosted to leave because they werent paying attention to her, crying about giving herself a clothes hanger abortion (Ill come back to this), and most of all fighting with other girls if they so much as touched her boyfriend or looked at him for too long. Point is she created problems at every event.

I also started to learn she was a compulsive liar. She lied about being pregnant, about it being twins and hearing a heartbeat, about doing the clothes hanger abortion I mentioned, about being kidnapped by the Hells Angels, about being sex trafficked, and even just about little things like where a spider had bitten her. Despite all these things, I still tried to be her friend and be understanding and supportive and not call her out on any of it because it was nice to have a female friend even if it came with a lot of extra work.

Now maybe all of that is just me justifying and trying to feel better about what I did.

I guess all of the above eventually took a toll on her boyfriend. A year and a few months after meeting them they broke up. He broke up with her. She texted me to let me know, I tried to talk to her but she never replied, which is mostly what happened whenever I tried to write her in the past.

Couple days later a friend invited me out to her place, shes the ex of the friend who I met Ren and Sam through. Eventually we invite my good friend (her ex) and another mutual friend. Then someone suggested we invite the Sam and Ren. I told them they had broken up and she was at her dads while he was still nearby so they decided we should invite him.

The friend who invited me over and the mutual friend were getting tried eventually so Ren invited myself and my good friend over. Well before we leave my friend spots the record collection that they had split when they broke up and starts arguing with her and insisting about going through them right then and there because he feels she took some ones he should have. Ren and I feel awkward and leave and go to his place.

So were alone at his place. Kind of awkward at first, gets us a couple of drinks, pushes the couches so wed sit on the same one, put on something for us to watch. We chat and stuff and then I lay on the floor and he lays next to me while we talk more. We just had a connection, a spark, and naturally kissed when we were on the ground. Then you know, things naturally proceeded to the bedroom and bowchicawowwow sex happened.

I did feel like a bad friend but also she hasnt really been the best friend to me with the lies, drama, never writing back, and then also she didnt warn me a guy was just trying to use me. He said he didnt regret it or feel bad. We talked more though messages the next day, and basically every day, and have gone on a few dates already and its getting serious. My question is who should be the one to tell her? Me? Him? Just let her figure it out eventually? Its going to come out but what is the best approach. I already know the friendship is done. Shes going to think he broke up with her for me or he was cheating on her and that wasnt the case. Shes just notstable. I dont want her to get nasty or have a mental health break down and hurt herself.

A few friends that know her will know soon so...

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#13
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#14
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:43:51 PM
#15:


Joker98 posted...
I wouldn't necessarily say anything yet. Based on the number of people who know, how likely is it to get back to your friend?

If you do decide to post the details I'd be curious lol

Full story is posted. Soon a few friends that know her will know.

OffTempo posted...
Is this one of your famous stories from your past?

I mean I want the advice on a real situation in my life >_>

Yazarogi posted...
what you do, is just not say anything

Badmotorfinger posted...
That sounds like a pretty tricky situation. I would just avoid saying anything and maybe keep it under wraps for a while

Give her time to heal. If she's mature about it then after she heals she won't hold it against you

Hmm both of those is where I'm leaning, I feel telling her would just cause an explosion right then and there.

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#16
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:45:43 PM
#17:


Bryfang posted...
Wait, aren't you in a long term relationship and living with a guy right now?

Is that the guy?

Shhhh I want the advice on the real situation!
But I'm not denying anything...

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CyricZ
05/11/21 7:46:22 PM
#18:


Looks like FlawlessLee is on another wacky adventure!

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Unknown5uspect
05/11/21 7:47:07 PM
#19:


You are now tracking this topic.

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spikethedevil
05/11/21 7:48:35 PM
#20:


Flawless_Lee posted...
Shhhh I want the advice on the real situation!
But I'm not denying anything...

So you admit to either A) This topic is BS or B) Youre a cheater which is scum bag behaviour so which is it?

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Simp
05/11/21 7:50:14 PM
#21:


plot twist: TC is the compulsive liar and is trying to figure out what we think is a fair punishment for the woman who stole her boyfriend

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R1masher
05/11/21 7:51:00 PM
#23:


Did you take the recycling out when you left?

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Badmotorfinger
05/11/21 7:51:06 PM
#24:


Wait wtf
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OffTempo
05/11/21 7:51:52 PM
#25:


Does your boyfriend know?

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:52:37 PM
#26:


Aeriis posted...
yeah, I agree, although I'd be careful because it sounds like she's going to burn your house down or wear your skin or something

Lol I was actually serious worried about something crazy like that happening.

CyricZ posted...
Looks like FlawlessLee is on another wacky adventure!

I promised @Sunhawk I must deliver on all promises. It feels weird telling this story now actually, back in the day it was so easy to just post it.

spikethedevil posted...
So you admit to either A) This topic is BS or B) Youre a cheater which is scum bag behaviour so which is it?

I can tell you this story actually happened and I have never cheated on anyone.

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spikethedevil
05/11/21 7:53:19 PM
#27:


So you lied about living with a boyfriend then?

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:53:51 PM
#28:


R1masher posted...
Did you take the recycling out when you left?

I always recycle.

OffTempo posted...
Does your boyfriend know?

I would seriously hope he does lol

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Eat More Beef
05/11/21 7:54:40 PM
#29:


Meh. If y'all are super good friends, you owe it to her to tell her staight up. It'll be better coming from you anyway.

If you're not good friends, fuck it.


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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:54:56 PM
#30:


spikethedevil posted...
So you lied about living with a boyfriend then?

Nope, you are missing one other option ;)
But seriously I actually do want to know what people think is the right thing to do in this situation.

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spikethedevil
05/11/21 7:55:11 PM
#31:


So you did cheat and he knows? WTF? This topic makes 0 sense.

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spikethedevil
05/11/21 7:55:56 PM
#32:


Flawless_Lee posted...
Nope, you are missing one other option ;)
But seriously I actually do want to know what people think is the right thing to do in this situation.

Open relationship? The friends ex is your boyfriend?

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 7:57:18 PM
#33:


spikethedevil posted...
So you did cheat and he knows? WTF? This topic makes 0 sense.

spikethedevil posted...


Open relationship? The friends ex is your boyfriend?

Okay I guess there were a few options but still no to those guesses.

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spikethedevil
05/11/21 7:57:47 PM
#34:


Then just explain it instead of the stupid guessing games.

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R1masher
05/11/21 7:58:59 PM
#35:


spikethedevil posted...
Then just explain it instead of the stupid guessing games.

how else you get to 500 hundred without pics

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Joker98
05/11/21 7:59:03 PM
#36:


Do you still want to be friends with the girl? Do you want to be in a relationship with the guy you had sex with?

Sorry if these have been answered already

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JTilly
05/11/21 8:00:44 PM
#37:


swingers

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 8:02:58 PM
#38:


R1masher posted...
how else you get to 500 hundred without pics

I was going to post a pic of what I looked like that night but I decided to serious face it.

Joker98 posted...
Do you still want to be friends with the girl? Do you want to be in a relationship with the guy you had sex with?

Sorry if these have been answered already

I really could go either way, I'm tired of the drama and lies but it's nice to have girl friends.
And yes I very much do want to be in a relationship with him.

JTilly posted...
swingers

No, not swingers.

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spikethedevil
05/11/21 8:03:26 PM
#39:


spikethedevil posted...
Then just explain it instead of the stupid guessing games.


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Ruvan22
05/11/21 8:05:56 PM
#40:


Aeriis posted...
yeah, I agree, although I'd be careful because it sounds like she's going to burn your house down or wear your skin or something

What if she burnt her skin while wearing her house?
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 8:06:05 PM
#41:


spikethedevil posted...
Then just explain it instead of the stupid guessing games.

Just answer the question I asked, who should tell her if anyone?
Also you the one turning this into a guessing game, stop guessing.

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Wii_Shaker
05/11/21 8:10:03 PM
#42:


You should be the one to tell your friend.

You should just own up to it. If she gets mad at least she's hearing it from you.

Also, if you cheated on your bf, that's on you also.

Just own your shit like an adult, aren't you supposed to be like 30 or something?

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 8:14:13 PM
#43:


Wii_Shaker posted...
You should be the one to tell your friend.

You should just own up to it. If she gets mad at least she's hearing it from you.

Also, if you cheated on your bf, that's on you also.

Just own your shit like an adult, aren't you supposed to be like 30 or something?

Cool good take, better to give her the chance to get the real info from me not 2nd hand stuff.

Also, I did not cheat on my boyfriend. You guys are funny.

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Badmotorfinger
05/11/21 8:14:18 PM
#44:


Flawless_Lee posted...


Just answer the question I asked, who should tell her if anyone?
Also you the one turning this into a guessing game, stop guessing.


TC are you in a relationship or not

The question you want answered isn't going to get answered until you clear that up
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 8:19:56 PM
#45:


Badmotorfinger posted...
TC are you in a relationship or not

The question you want answered isn't going to get answered until you clear that up

I've answered so many questions about that it should be clear by now if I am.

You guys needs to tell me what the right thing to do for that specific scenario.

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Unknown5uspect
05/11/21 8:20:36 PM
#46:


Flawless_Lee posted...
You guys needs to tell me what the right thing to do for that specific scenario.
Don't tell anyone. Especially not your friend. That way it never gets out.

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Badmotorfinger
05/11/21 8:21:45 PM
#47:


No you've been extremely dodgy on that subject this whole topic

This topic isn't painting a very good picture of you. At this point you might as well figure it out yourself
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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 8:25:25 PM
#48:


Unknown5uspect posted...
Don't tell anyone. Especially not your friend. That way it never gets out.

Lol well I mean our relationship will come out at some point. Got it, become mole people right?!

Badmotorfinger posted...
No you've been extremely dodgy on that subject this whole topic

This topic isn't painting a very good picture of you. At this point you might as well figure it out yourself

I don't know what you mean :( Why does my relationship status make you angry?

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OffTempo
05/11/21 8:26:20 PM
#49:


Are you and your boyfriend on a break rn?

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Flawless_Lee
05/11/21 8:30:43 PM
#50:


OffTempo posted...
Are you and your boyfriend on a break rn?

Do I look like Ross and Rachel?! BTW Ross was right, they were on a break.

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Badmotorfinger
05/11/21 8:31:35 PM
#51:


Flawless_Lee posted...
I don't know what you mean :( Why does my relationship status make you angry?


Lmao wth...

The question people have been asking for the past 50 minutes is whether or not you're cheating on your boyfriend. Which is completely relevant to the situation you're facing right now.
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