Board 8 > Anyone experienced in child custody issue? Could use advice...

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CassandraCain
05/11/21 2:36:39 PM
#1:


A friend in florida just left her abusive bf and was gonna move up here to the midwest.

She of course was taking the 3 year old daughter with her to save her from that life, but he filed for paternity today... so she considered running and hiding for 6 months but... is there any good options here? I find it hard to believe florida courts would care that much and they'd probably make her stay in the state to share custody... even though he doesn't want to be a fucking father he just doesn't want her to be happy and wants to control someone bc he's an asshole

But anyway, this situation is extremely upsetting and I feel helpless... I wish there was something to be done. They shouldn't be forced to be stuck in florida, nobody should!

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ShatteredElysium
05/11/21 2:48:59 PM
#2:


I can tell you that Florida courts call it in the best interest of the child and favor the one being more reasonable. There isn't the tendency to favor the mother just for being the mother.

I say this from experience of 2 separate male friends getting divorced, the mother thinking that everything should go in their favor and then the mother getting rinsed and chewed out by the court because the father was the reasonable one and doing everything correctly.

Running and hiding for 6 months will definitely count heavily against her. However if she can provide proof of the abuse to the court then I'm sure they would side with her. Probably wants to look into her options of restricting his access immediately due to the abuse rather than just running. Obviously if that can't be safely accomplished then they are going to need to get the police involved
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PrivateBiscuit1
05/11/21 3:56:35 PM
#4:


Your friend should be talking to a lawyer immediately about this before doing anything or saying anything. This is a complicated thing.

But any evidence of abuse, verbal, written, or physical, will help.

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masterplum
05/11/21 4:26:55 PM
#5:


Divorced in Florida.

Running AFTER court orders are filed is a really terrible idea. She needed to run before hand.

Im not a lawyer, but I believe she is going to have to go to court before she can relocate.

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masterplum
05/11/21 4:32:02 PM
#6:


Also, taking away someones parental rights completely is a really big deal. Imagine a reverse situation where someone was making this all up just to try to deny their partner custody. Courts dont give 100-0 custody unless the other parent doesnt want it or the other parent is basically a convicted child molester. Even convicted felons get to see their kids some times.

Moral of the story: Running is a really frigging terrible idea and she will probably end up in jail if she tries because even if her story is 100% true she still probably isnt getting 100% custody

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CassandraCain
05/11/21 4:33:41 PM
#7:


So there's no way for her to leave florida is what you're saying?

They were never married either, not sure if that changes anything.

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masterplum
05/11/21 4:36:29 PM
#8:


CassandraCain posted...
So there's no way for her to leave florida is what you're saying?

They were never married either, not sure if that changes anything.

It doesnt.

Honestly want to know what I would do? Offer the guy a $1000 to waive parental rights legally. If he really is doing it just to mess with his ex he will take it. Adjust the amount accordingly depending on how much he wants the money.

And that will be a lot cheaper than lawyer fees.

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masterplum
05/11/21 4:39:55 PM
#9:


I am like quadruple posting but I keep thinking about this.

Another option if bribery doesnt work is convince the guy to authorize moving in writing for an indeterminate amount of time. Once he agrees he cant legally force her to move back.

But really dont actually take my advice without consulting a lawyer

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PrivateBiscuit1
05/11/21 4:43:51 PM
#10:


CassandraCain posted...
So there's no way for her to leave florida is what you're saying?

They were never married either, not sure if that changes anything.
I don't think she should leave Florida now.

But she shouldn't even think about it until after she talks to a lawyer. Like she needs to do this immediately.

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wg64Z
05/11/21 4:48:02 PM
#11:


Running away with someone's child (even if it is also yours) is a pretty terrible idea and could have really terrible consequences. Go through the proper channels and state your case from a safe space.

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