Poll of the Day > If you give a girl your phone number when should I stop caring if no message?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I gave a girl my phone number, though I did not get hers. Anyways, she seemed happy enough to accept it.

Now, its been a day and no contact. Of course I am not sitting here like waiting for a reply or anything. If it happens, cool, if it doesn't it is no big deal. Ghosting is lame but I would just understand. But I rarely have ever done this, so I don't know the "finer details"

At what point of no contact(if that happens) should I stop caring? a few days? a week?

i don't know the answer to your question. what happened to the hair lady

---

The hair lady was cool. She really, really wanted to be my friend. So for like a few days we messaged a lot. I was down for whatever happened, but over time she just kept on talking to me less and less, and then for whatever reason she also hasn't been in the store in ages. I have no idea what happened there, but she gave off no indication she wasn't really glad to finally get to meet me at any point. I'd try to talk to her and generally didn't get much response back, but the first few days we were like writing novels and shit.

I'm not really upset about it, because I realized quickly this wasn't becoming worth my time. I imagine she is a nice lady but drinking gets in the way of trying to just be cool. I don't know.

This person is the lady I originally made that topic about. I was going to try to give this particular girl my phone number earlier, but hair lady got in the way, then I lost the drive to break out of my comfort zone, but then I got my drive back because I actually did get a promotion to a store 40 minutes away, and I figure I may not get this chance again.

We were talking when she came in yesterday. She asked me if my weekend was starting soon, but no, I'm actually working like 7 days in a row. She seemed sad for me, and then I told her I was going to another store and she might not see me again, and she also was kinda sad. she even said something like "dang, all the people I get to meet leave" or something like that but didn't sound as dramatic. I told her we could always do something someday, so it wouldn't have to be the last time. She kinda said yeah we could, but in a very general sense not giving affirmation or denial.

I then said I could give her my phone number and she paused for a second and said "sure" and then I gave it to her.

So...thats kinda the story. I did not get her phone number. I'm trying to be normal about this. It'd be cool if we could do something, because she seems like a fun person, but if I do get ghosted I realize thats whatever and not a big deal.

The day you gave it to her

---

damn. well, nice knowin' ya

argonautweakend posted...

I gave a girl my phone number, though I did not get hers. Anyways, she seemed happy enough to accept it.

That's why you always have to get theirs. Women almost never initiate contact, even if they do have some interest >_>

---

I remember growing up hearing to wait two days. It's possible she became busy, but it would be best to not hold your breath.

Its been 5 days and nothing. Im just assuming there is nothing here. I wasnt waiting this whole time or anything but still a small bummer.

But i am glad i did put myself out there though. Always next time.

This person is on facebook. I was thinking of friending her there but i feel like if she didnt message me via my phone number ehhh might be weird.

That's a good attitude to have, I wouldn't bother with FBing her, she doesn't seem interested romantically based on what you've said.

> If you give a girl your phone number when should I stop caring if no message?

Instantly, it should be a joyous surprise if you get a message, not an expectation

---

I've been waiting on this customer for almost the entire 3 years I worked at that store. It wasn't until earlier this year I noticed she seemed super happy to see me, when I don't recall giving off any vibes whatsoever in any way other than just business or slight small talk like the weather.

What got me thinking is one time a couple of months ago I was talking to somebody I work with about a customer we liked, and she was in my line, and she goes "I'm your favorite customer, right?" looking at me. I said yeah, and next time she came in I joked about it and she liked it. Then after this like every time she'd be in she seemed excited or at least very friendly. We'd make small talk beyond just one/two line sentences. She is from Ohio, for example. One day she checked out and as she left said "good to see you again" after like maybe a week she wasn't in. Then the feeling sad I was leaving to go to another store, even saying the new one was probably too far to drive to(40 minutes - it is).

I'm just saying this because I feel i had reasonable cause to think she may be interested in me. I gave her my phone number saying we could do something some day, and I got no reply. there is a 99% chance here nothing will happen. The things above could all have been just friendly, and that is most likely what it is.

But this is all okay. I would prefer at least some communication going "hey i am not interested" if that is the case, but this isn't a big deal, and she's free to respond or not respond however she wants. Some people go psycho after being rejected. I'd just say it's fine, be nice, and move on. But not everybody does do that so ghosting just kinda makes sense.

Oh well. Overall I am glad I put myself out there, as I rarely do this kind of thing. That makes me feel good. I'm not really too upset about this situation going nowhere. I guess for some people this kind of thing is a weekly occurrence(asking girls out) but for me it is not.

The less you appear to care, the cooler you will be

---

In life I categorize people into five categories

Stranger: Someone I really don't know at all.

Casual Acquaintance: Someone I am somewhat friendly with when I see him/her but do not consider a friend.

Friend: Someone I would hang out with, and have done so at least some of the time.

Close Friend: Someone that I consider a great friend and feel a close personal bond with.

Family: Obviously someone I grew up with and have likely known my whole life.

Just because she was happy to see you and took your number, this likely was more of a casual acquaintance thing especially since you waited on her multiple times over the years. She might have taken the number just to make you feel better and not be as embarrassed in the moment where she was really thinking yeah I don't think I will ever use it.

It also has to be factored in how friendly she is with other random people, she might just be a very outgoing person that always seems super happy. So the overjoy to see you might just be how she behaves seeing anyone she knows.

It wasn't just multiple times over the years, it was more frequent than that. But yeah, it could have been totally friendly. I don't recall her acting like this around others but I also don't recall too many times somebody other than I waited on her because she would always come to my register.

But oh well, it doesn't matter. Moving forward! got some confidence because of this, so that's nice, even if it didn't work out.

In my experience, stop caring immediately.

---

Be assertive. Passivity is typically considered an attractive quality.

---

Something like this happened to me before, about 8 years ago. I used to work at a Subway. This one lady who worked at a massage place would come in occasionally and we would talk for a good bit of time. She expressed interest in talking outside of work, so I gave her my number. Never saw nor heard from her again. I stopped caring a few weeks later.

Looking back at it, I'm sure she wanted more clients instead of actually wanting friendship / dating. Live and learn, I guess.

When I did that I never got a message back so I usually gave up hope of getting a text after a few days.

Ohh well, nothing you can do but move on.

---