Current Events > Aliens abduct you, ask you for a reason not to wipe out the human race.

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UnfairRepresent
01/13/21 9:18:07 PM
#1:


You're abdcuted by aliens who have a powerful biological weapon pointed at Earth on their spaceship.

A large alien is holding you in the air like you were a pillow as it says:

"We've watched the human race and seen nothing but petty violence and cruelty. People eating sweetmeats in huge buildings while those around them starve, prejudice and persecution, injustice and suffering. Superstition and war. Yours is a savage childlike race that only seems to get worse as it advances. We've decided that it's in the best interests of the universe if humanity ceases to be but we offer you as representative of your race, one chance to change our minds.

Give us one single reason not to destroy you all or watch your people fall to oblivion. You are the first and last human to be given the oppotunity to justify yourself...Well... Technically the second... but the first didn't work out."

Then you see a Chinese baby crawling acrossthe floor.

"Probably shouldn't have chosen a human at random....It just seemed the fairest way to do it... Anyway give us a reason or accept condemnation!"



What do you say?

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^ Hey now that's completely unfair!
https://imgur.com/yPw05Ob
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Orestes417
01/13/21 9:19:14 PM
#2:


Push the button in the next 30 seconds and I'll teach you how to make pizza on the way to your planet.

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On second thought, O Muse, sing nothing of me. I know you. I have been bound and servant to you, O Muse... And I do not trust you, O Muse. Not one little bit.
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voldothegr8
01/13/21 9:20:57 PM
#3:


We do butt stuff
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Oda break tracker 2021- 0 (2) | THE Ohio State: 7-0 | Las Vegas Raiders: 8-8
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Ving_Rhames
01/13/21 9:21:47 PM
#4:


"We'll do it ourselves soon enough, why not let us be a lesson to other civilizations on what not to be? A sophisticated and superior species like your own shouldn't waste their effort or time on something as insignificant as humanity."

Of course, if they're aliens they probably wont fall for reverse psychology ego stroking so my ploy to buy us however long it takes us to naturally kill ourselves (we will lol) probly wont work.

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the real Irving Rameses
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EnvoyOfTheLight
01/13/21 9:23:00 PM
#5:


If they have the resources to wipe out our civilization, then they have the resources to help us get past the bullshit state we're in now.

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i horf and i
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Dark_SilverX
01/13/21 9:23:14 PM
#6:


Humanity is great at twerking, so please don't destroy it.

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Rather a Zoom Thanksgiving than an ICU Christmas.
don't compare games to feces -- if you've an opinion worth mentioning, do so civilly
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SSJ2GrimReaper
01/13/21 9:24:43 PM
#7:


We have strawberry shortcake

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ArchNemo
01/13/21 9:25:38 PM
#8:


"I'll suck your dick"
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BloodMoon7
01/13/21 9:28:46 PM
#9:


"Bitch y'all some stupid fucks if you need a second opinion"

*slams the button myself*

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I just want to restore this world back to the natural. Bring order to this broken reality. To the way it should have been, all those many years ago.
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specialkid8
01/13/21 9:31:03 PM
#10:


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Strider102
01/13/21 9:38:33 PM
#11:


"Honestly, I can't give you a good reason. Do what you have to do."

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Last Cloudia ID: 188850453
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Hexenherz
01/13/21 9:41:38 PM
#12:


Wouldn't destroying us make the aliens no better than humans though?

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FFXIV: Lucius Hexenseele (Brynhildr) | RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving/Crafting/RC
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wbloechel
01/13/21 9:42:53 PM
#13:


Wait, that's the picture of my girlfriend that I already found out was an alien like 30 times on this board. This time loop shit's gotta stop.

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Warning: Above Post May Cause Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.
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Alexanaxela
01/13/21 9:48:06 PM
#14:


"jerry? Is that you? Man I havent seen you since college how's the wife and kids!?"
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Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.
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andri_g
01/13/21 9:48:30 PM
#15:


Hexenherz posted...
Wouldn't destroying us make the aliens no better than humans though?
Except they could claim "We were provoked" after. Where's a dashcam when you need one?

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'~'
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samurai bandit
01/13/21 9:52:35 PM
#16:


"You can livestream humanity stupidity as a free comedy reality show"

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Go and watch Ef ~ A tale of memories now!
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Hexenherz
01/13/21 10:49:14 PM
#17:


andri_g posted...
Except they could claim "We were provoked" after. Where's a dashcam when you need one?
we got tiktok

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FFXIV: Lucius Hexenseele (Brynhildr) | RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving/Crafting/RC
https://letterboxd.com/BMovieBro/
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TopKEKIeon
01/13/21 10:51:38 PM
#18:


"I got nothing. Fire at will."
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Delta_Force
01/13/21 10:53:45 PM
#19:


"Bitch I have my own button. Let me show you how it's done."

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More Bush on Obama's Clinton!
What the hell does "should of" mean?
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ZeroX91
01/13/21 10:57:11 PM
#20:


Why do you care? we gonna drownd in our own trash before we can cause any problems off world. Just enjoy the shit show.

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If the universe is so big why wont it fight me?
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