Poll of the Day > PotD, advise me.

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IronBornCorps
10/28/20 1:13:01 AM
#51:


I was not aware he moved out, must of missed that.

I would say finish your degree while you're still working on it. It's hard to come back to once you stop (for some), and it's currently being paid for.

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Joshs Name
10/28/20 1:15:28 AM
#52:


you can also spend the next 1.5 years watching k-drama and crying because of the k-drama

to learn korean of course

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FrndNhbrHdCEman
10/28/20 1:19:45 AM
#53:


I know it hurts to stay but finish your degree Jen. Leaving now will be harder with having to pay and COVID. Itll be worth it in the long run and eventually youll go numb to your ex when you realize he wasn't right for ya anyways.

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Jen0125
10/28/20 1:30:14 AM
#54:


FrndNhbrHdCEman posted...
I know it hurts to stay but finish your degree Jen. Leaving now will be harder with having to pay and COVID. Itll be worth it in the long run and eventually youll go numb to your ex when you realize he wasn't right for ya anyways.

It's like $1,500 for the government sponsored quarantine in SK too

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FrndNhbrHdCEman
10/28/20 1:34:35 AM
#55:


Jen0125 posted...
It's like $1,500 for the government sponsored quarantine in SK too
Thats a lot during the epidemic. Stay strong!

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zebatov
10/28/20 1:34:54 AM
#56:


Jen0125 posted...
I can't rent it. My ex is half owner.

And no I can't go live in any state, I have a job.

Why even ask for help here then.

I need to know if I should do A or B, but I cant do either. Please advise.

FrndNhbrHdCEman posted...
Thats a lot during the epidemic. Stay strong!

Ive worked for about $15,000 starting in June and that isnt a lot.

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Raddest_Chad
10/28/20 2:10:26 AM
#57:


It's a lot harder to leave and go back to something again than to finish it and move on (in a general sense, anyway). As much as that situation sounds shitty, it'll probably be better long-term to get the degree then just wander.

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FatalAccident
10/28/20 3:13:47 AM
#58:


Jen if youre not actually living with your ex just stick with it. I read 1.5 years left to finish your degree and I thought that was 1.5 years of living with him in this situation but honestly if hes not really around youll be fine in a few months - or at least not as miserable.

I say finish your masters and then move to Korea.

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wolfy42
10/28/20 3:52:47 AM
#59:


Be happy Jen. If your not happy, do what you can to find happiness. Find a good friend to hang with for one, if you don't have one, that will prevent you from being lonely, and a good friend isn't going to "break up" with you. I think it's super hard with Covid anywhere, this is not when I would want to travel over seas that is for sure.

I would try as hard as you can to finish your degree now, and find things that make you happy, by yourself, or with new friends in the area (that may not have been couple friends you had with your ex before).

I know it's not always easy to find happiness, but putting it off for the future is not a good idea. Nobody knows what the future holds, so enjoy life as much as you can now, while doing what you can to prepare a happy future as well.

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IAmNowGone
10/28/20 6:34:54 AM
#60:


FatalAccident posted...
Jen if youre not actually living with your ex just stick with it. I read 1.5 years left to finish your degree and I thought that was 1.5 years of living with him in this situation but honestly if hes not really around youll be fine in a few months - or at least not as miserable.

I say finish your masters and then move to Korea.

this
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blu
10/28/20 6:47:18 AM
#61:


GunslingerGunsl posted...
Finish your degree for free. If you are happy where you are at right now, there is no reason not to take advantage of a free education.

Pretty much everyone with a BS has the ability to take advantage of free education. Many MS programs pay you to get the degree and all decent PhD programs will pay you to get one.
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Jen0125
10/28/20 9:35:57 AM
#62:


zebatov posted...
Why even ask for help here then.

I need to know if I should do A or B, but I cant do either. Please advise.

Ive worked for about $15,000 starting in June and that isnt a lot.

Where does either a or b ask for housing advice?

When I leave I'm going to take my name off the deed so he can be sole owner.

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BeerOnTap
10/28/20 9:44:38 AM
#63:


Jen0125 posted...


The breakdown of my mostly happy and loving relationship of six years. It only happened a couple months ago.

Folks, if youre in a relationship for more than four years and he hasnt proposed, it aint ever happening and youre just spinning your wheels.

Why is this so prevalent with young people nowadays?
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Jen0125
10/28/20 9:45:54 AM
#64:


BeerOnTap posted...
Folks, if youre in a relationship for more than four years and he hasnt proposed, it aint ever happening and youre just spinning your wheels.

Why is this so prevalent with young people nowadays?

Why do you think everyone's goal is to get married? Marriage is optional for me because I don't want kids.

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Blightzkrieg
10/28/20 9:47:05 AM
#65:


The key to a long lasting relationship is having a child so you feel guilty about leaving

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BeerOnTap
10/28/20 9:50:41 AM
#66:


zebatov posted...
Why even ask for help here then.

And this right here is really the crux of the matter. I feel like relying on an obscure online message board of strangers for advice while simultaneously having a mental breakdown is only exacerbating the problems. Jen, you should be talking to a therapist. Not a bunch of basement dwelling anime fiends.
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Jen0125
10/28/20 9:51:47 AM
#67:


BeerOnTap posted...
And this right here is really the crux of the matter. I feel like relying on an obscure online message board of strangers for advice while simultaneously having a mental breakdown is only exacerbating the problems. Jen, you should be talking to a therapist. Not a bunch of basement dwelling anime fiends.

I'm not relying on this board to make my decision. I'm going to make my decision. I want to obtain different perspectives. I've talked to several people I know in real life, too. I'm also not having a mental breakdown, don't be so dramatic.

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BeerOnTap
10/28/20 9:54:59 AM
#68:


Jen0125 posted...
Why do you think everyone's goal is to get married? Marriage is optional for me because I don't want kids.

I didnt mention kids. Marriage and kids do not have to go hand in hand.
But marriage is a sign that two people are truly committed to one another. If its been six years and it hasnt happened, its highly improbable that the relationship is going to hold its value.
Just my opinion though, since you asked for it.
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Jen0125
10/28/20 10:00:35 AM
#69:


BeerOnTap posted...
I didnt mention kids. Marriage and kids do not have to go hand in hand.
But marriage is a sign that two people are truly committed to one another. If its been six years and it hasnt happened, its highly improbable that the relationship is going to hold its value.
Just my opinion though, since you asked for it.

Marriage for me is a requirement to having children. It's almost like people have different opinions.

And I didn't ask for your opinion on relationships. At all. There are any number of people in serious long term relationships that don't get married. There's a man on this board even who has been with his partner for 12 years and they aren't married.

I'll be plain - I don't care about your opinion on my personal life or philosophy on relationships. I didn't ask.

There's nothing wrong with seeking opinions from a diverse group of people so you can make decisions. If you think you're capable of making major decisions just based on your own perspective that's great for you. Sometimes I like to obtain a variety of opinions on a matter before I make a decision. It's absurd you'd even try to insult someone for doing that but since you have some irrational major negative feelings for me you just can't help yourself. I don't care about your specific opinion on anything I do or ask.

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GunslingerGunsl
10/28/20 1:24:49 PM
#70:


BeerOnTap posted...
Folks, if youre in a relationship for more than four years and he hasnt proposed, it aint ever happening and youre just spinning your wheels.

Why is this so prevalent with young people nowadays?

My friends were in a relationship for over 5 years and they just got engaged a couple weeks ago. It happens.
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zebatov
10/28/20 7:46:27 PM
#71:


Jen0125 posted...
Where does either a or b ask for housing advice?

I was referring to your first post.

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JigsawTDC
10/28/20 7:48:56 PM
#72:


Number 2. It's already similar to what I'm pursuing minus all the extra baggage of wanting to get away from shitty living situation.
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Jen0125
10/28/20 8:20:09 PM
#73:


zebatov posted...
I was referring to your first post.

Where does my first post ask for housing advice?

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zebatov
10/28/20 11:13:16 PM
#74:


Jen0125 posted...
Where does my first post ask for housing advice?

What part of that post of mine that you quoted looks like housing advice to you? I really need to know.

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GunslingerGunsl
10/29/20 12:14:40 AM
#75:


Jen0125 posted...
Where does my first post ask for housing advice?

I don't think it was so much that people thought you had asked for housing advice. It was just people making the same mistaken assumptions that I did, thinking you were miserable and living with your ex. Thus, the best advice people could think of was to find a new place to live.
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TheWitchMorgana
10/29/20 12:16:56 AM
#76:


admittedly, this wording was a bit confusing as i also did not know you weren't living with your ex anymore:

Jen0125 posted...
My current situation: ex of 6 years and I broke up. I am very unhappy staying here.


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Quatrerwin
10/29/20 12:20:41 AM
#77:


From what I hear, foreign teachers are treated as almost subhuman. Some people love it, but I've seen quite a few absolutely hate it. It depends on how attached you are to your current culture.
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ClarkDuke
10/29/20 12:22:16 AM
#78:


zebatov posted...
FrndNhbrHdCEman posted...
Thats a lot during the epidemic. Stay strong!

Ive worked for about $15,000 starting in June and that isnt a lot.
why are you making this topic about you, it's off putting, ok?

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Wanded
10/29/20 12:42:10 AM
#79:


Jen0125 posted...
I'm not sure why everyone thinks I should give up my affordable and available housing to.. Do what? My ex isn't living here. I'm here alone. Why should I go live alone somewhere else when I can live alone in my house?
wait so what's the problem? wasn't him living there the problem?

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zebatov
10/29/20 2:51:33 PM
#80:


GunslingerGunsl posted...
I don't think it was so much that people thought you had asked for housing advice. It was just people making the same mistaken assumptions that I did, thinking you were miserable and living with your ex. Thus, the best advice people could think of was to find a new place to live.

It wasnt that for me. She asked which of two things she should do, and then somewhere in there made it sound like she couldnt do either of those two things anyways for other reasons. Which is why I said what I said. I was hoping to not have to explain this, but here we are lol.

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FrndNhbrHdCEman
10/29/20 2:56:37 PM
#81:


zebatov posted...
It wasnt that for me. She asked which of two things she should do, and then somewhere in there made it sound like she couldnt do either of those two things anyways for other reasons. Which is why I said what I said. I was hoping to not have to explain this, but here we are lol.
You do you and just keep digging your hostile hole.

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Jen0125
10/29/20 3:05:04 PM
#82:


I didn't make it seem like I can't do either of the things listed anywhere.

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zebatov
10/30/20 1:59:42 AM
#83:


Jen0125 posted...
I can't rent it. My ex is half owner.

And no I can't go live in any state, I have a job.

How can you do #2 if you cant leave the state because you have a job?

FrndNhbrHdCEman posted...
You do you and just keep digging your hostile hole.

Nobody hostile here but you.

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C was right.
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FrndNhbrHdCEman
10/30/20 2:05:55 AM
#84:


zebatov posted...
How can you do #2 if you cant leave the state because you have a job?

Nobody hostile here but you.
Lol. Cool story. Pretty clear you explaining to people. Maybe ya know another professor that can really mansplain how Jens wrong.

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Noop_Noop
10/30/20 2:06:34 AM
#85:


and me. i am openly hostile.

just, rearrange and redecorate the house so you can avoid the memories, and finish your fucking education.

the knowledge that you are forestalling it is gonna make it hard for you to be happy wherever you are and you know it. its hard to be happy when life sucks, and nobody is gonna make life not suck but you. sometimes that shit can take decades, but for you its only really gotta be a couple years. just put the work in. no matter how asinine i may have found the subject you chose, your pursuit of education has always been one of the few things i admire about you.

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Jen0125
10/30/20 9:31:10 AM
#86:


zebatov posted...
How can you do #2 if you cant leave the state because you have a job?

I would quit my job for a new job? That's the whole point.

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Jen0125
10/30/20 9:32:03 AM
#87:


Noop_Noop posted...
the knowledge that you are forestalling it is gonna make it hard for you to be happy wherever you are and you know it.

I feel like this was an important thing to point out to me that I didn't necessarily think of so I appreciate that.

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Blightzkrieg
10/30/20 12:59:18 PM
#88:


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ClarkDuke
10/30/20 6:05:04 PM
#89:


ignore zebatov, and his heartless desire to passive aggressively troll you, jen, ok?

Noop_Noop posted...
the knowledge that you are forestalling it is gonna make it hard for you to be happy wherever you are and you know it.
what wise words, ok?

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Wanded
10/31/20 5:35:45 AM
#90:


why don't you like your current situation

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Jen0125
10/31/20 9:18:48 AM
#91:


Wanded posted...
why don't you like your current situation

Doesn't matter

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