Poll of the Day > Had an argument with my co-worker. Not putting up with it any more.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 11:12:21 AM
#1:


You guys know the pair I'm talking about. The husband and wife who kept changing my schedule to suit themselves. The ones who faked having Covid to get a week off work not too long ago.

Anyway, my manager swapped days with the wife in Friday. I was scheduled at the slower hotel that night. But when I got there she was already there telling me I needed to go work the other hotel because she didn't want to. I told her I was scheduled to be at this one, and she needed to go to the other one. She flipped out. Started telling and screaming at me, and even saying that if I didn't go to the other one that she'd literally fight me. Anyway, I relented and went to the other one.

Last night wasn't any better. She assumed she got the weekend off because she worked Friday even though they just swapped Friday/Sunday. So neither of them showed up which left me running both hotels again, and it was going to be busy. So I called my manager and she had me call in the wife since she was actually supposed to be there. It pissed her completely off at both me and the manager. She treated it as if she was doing me a huge favor by coming in and working at all. She fussed at me for ruining her weekend and a bunch of other stuff(and I'd already been yelled at by guests too, so I wasn't exactly in a good mood).

Oh, and of course I forgot to mention that I'm her ride home every night now. She lives in town so it's not super far out of my way, like 10 minutes from my house to hers. Well, now even on the nights that her husband is free to pick her up they expect me to do it.

Last night she came over after our shifts were done to wait on me. She gave me some paperwork her husband needed to file. I set them to the side and said he could do it when he got there. She went off again, accusing me of being a selfish ingrate. That I never do anything to help them, and that I HAVE to file the papers.

Ugh... This gonna be long. Continued in next post.

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#2
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Sarcasthma
10/25/20 11:19:23 AM
#3:


File a complaint if you haven't already.

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A pickpocket snatches your watch.
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argonautweakend
10/25/20 11:19:26 AM
#4:


All I can say before you finish is toxic people GOT TO GO.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 11:23:12 AM
#5:


...continued from post 1.

I told her it's just some papers, and it's his job to file them. So she got up in my face yelling at me. Fussing at me and calling me a selfish ingrate who doesn't do enough to help them.

That was the last straw. I started listing off the dozens of times that I went completely out of my way to help them, cover their shifts, adjust my schedule for them, and all the rides home. She said those don't count because I OWE it to them to do that stuff. I was like "EXCUSE ME? It seems like after everything I've done for you and gotten nothing in return that you owe me!" You know what she offered me? Her half eaten garlic bread... Things got pretty heated before they finally settled down.

On the way home she reminded me that she needs a ride every night this week. I told her that if she doesn't straighten up that she won't have a ride at all. She started crying about about me being a good friend and helping her out. I told her she was full of it and she's only saying that so I'll keep taking her home.

Anyway... Yeah. I'm not doing this any more. My manager comes in today. I'll talk with her and let her know I'm not covering their shifts any more,band then I'm gonna tell the wife to find another way home.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 11:30:07 AM
#6:


Me, her, her husband, and another employee are all scheduled for 7 days this week. I've already been working 5 in a row, so I'm tired and just can't handle them right now.

Plus, she's planning on taking my position at the slower hotel. Straight up told me so Friday night. I'm going to talk with my manager and make sure she stays where she was hired.

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jsb0714
10/25/20 12:03:54 PM
#7:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Anyway... Yeah. I'm not doing this any more.
Sure you're not.
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 12:08:11 PM
#8:


jsb0714 posted...
Sure you're not.
Seriously, I'm done.

Edit: I've already texted my boss and told her I need to talk with her about it.

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hypnox
10/25/20 12:12:04 PM
#9:


I stopped at when you mentioned she told you to go to the other hotel. You were scheduled for the one she was at, she was for the other one. You should have stayed and she would have gotten in trouble for not covering her assigned post.

So you kinda let them walk all over you.

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#10
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argonautweakend
10/25/20 12:30:51 PM
#11:


You can tell these people are toxic because it seems like you are doing a lot for them and they act like you haven't. Basically trying to take the good will you have shown, stomp on it, then act like you're the bad guy.

Only way over it seems like to firmly plant your foot down, and not get beat up over them telling you things like you never help them or whatever. They CAN successfully guilt you into thinking "hey maybe they are right, I am making a big deal about this thing" but know they are wrong and you are right.
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 12:37:23 PM
#12:


Zangulus posted...
Simply put, after what you posted, you need to cut them off 100%. Don't even give them warnings. They're users. Or at least her at best. They will use you, and they will try to manipulate you as much as they can. Then cry about how you're the problem.

Grow a pair and say No. That incldues rides home. It's their responsibility to make sure they have rides.
That's the plan. Though, I am planning on telling her no more rides later today which would give her a day to make other plans. I know if I wait till tomorrow when it's too late I'd 100% relent again because I'd feel like it's my fault.

argonautweakend posted...
You can tell these people are toxic because it seems like you are doing a lot for them and they act like you haven't. Basically trying to take the good will you have shown, stomp on it, then act like you're the bad guy.

Only way over it seems like to firmly plant your foot down, and not get beat up over them telling you things like you never help them or whatever. They CAN successfully guilt you into thinking "hey maybe they are right, I am making a big deal about this thing" but know they are wrong and you are right.
That's exactly the problem. I'm so easy to take advantage of, all it would've taken was for them to give something, anything, to show that it's not entirely just then taking what they can. This weekend has proved beyond any doubt that they are absolutely unwilling to do even the tiniest favor in return(letting me work where I'm scheduled, or filing the papers).

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OhhhJa
10/25/20 1:07:27 PM
#13:


Damn you have way more patience than me. I would've lost my shit on that lady
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InfestedAdam
10/25/20 1:12:12 PM
#14:


Best of luck to you in resolving this. I try to be accommodating to my coworkers but at at the end of the day I technically answer only to our department manager, general manager, company president, and company owner.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 1:18:40 PM
#15:


OhhhJa posted...
Damn you have way more patience than me. I would've lost my shit on that lady
Well, I do have plenty of patience, but toss in a lack of a backbone too and it gets to this point. I'm not taking it any more though. Been dealing with his garbage for a year now, she was hired right before the Covid shutdown happened, so things have been messy for everyone and I figured I could do my part to help everyone out. Things have mostly settled now and I've just got both of them breathing down my neck whenever they think they can get something or have me do it for them instead.

This is going to cause more problems though. We're already short staffed, and having to work tons of extra hours. So I know they'll be calling in sick, or threatening to quit to try and force a favorable outcome. That's how they've been doing it to the other employees.

InfestedAdam posted...
Best of luck to you in resolving this. I try to be accommodating to my coworkers but at at the end of the day I technically answer only to our department manager, general manager, company president, and company owner.
Thanks. Both of my managers work directly with us, so that makes things easier.

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dedbus
10/25/20 1:21:36 PM
#16:


Hell yeah brother its time to rise up.

https://youtu.be/0dlC3NdtWJU?t=75
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Mead
10/25/20 1:23:46 PM
#17:


Are you able to text them? If I were you Id send them both a message just saying that you feel like youre being used and that you wont be giving her a ride or doing any favors for them, and that if they have issues with their scheduling they need to handle that with their boss and not expect you to pick up their slack

then Id just put the phone away for a few hours

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The Betrayer
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 1:31:16 PM
#18:


Mead posted...
Are you able to text them? If I were you Id send them both a message just saying that you feel like youre being used and that you wont be giving her a ride or doing any favors for them, and that if they have issues with their scheduling they need to handle that with their boss and not expect you to pick up their slack

then Id just put the phone away for a few hours
Normally that'd work. This couple though, they cause problems then hide behind their own self induced illnesses for sympathy. My managers try to avoid conflict, so usually give them what they want.

I might do that anyways. Idk, was planning on calling her and telling her once I was at work so I could have a coworker as a witness in case they lie about it(they will). But I guess texts would be proof enough as well.

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TaKun782
10/25/20 1:43:05 PM
#19:


Holy shit TC... I usedto have some co workers like that. I was used to be the guy who had to lift 30 pound boxes all day into a pallet despite my bad back. And no help. I became so fed up with it, that I spoke to my boss, etc. Hell, these temp workers didn't dare to want to do what I did. So, I ended up with the easiest part of the job. Watching the machine all day instead to make sure nothing went wrong with it. Easy peasy...needless to say, always speak up when you know it is killing you on the inside. It's ok to be nice TC. But never take any shit when you know it turns out to be bull shit, along with anyone who will jump at the chance to take advantage of that.
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OhhhJa
10/25/20 1:48:54 PM
#20:


At the very least make this bitch find her own ride home if she's gonna complain about everything
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ArvTheGreat
10/25/20 1:54:12 PM
#21:


Arv wouldnt give her anymore rides fuck them bitches

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 1:56:28 PM
#22:


TaKun782 posted...
Holy shit TC... I usedto have some co workers like that. I was used to be the guy who had to lift 30 pound boxes all day into a pallet despite my bad back. And no help. I became so fed up with it, that I spoke to my boss, etc. Hell, these temp workers didn't dare to want to do what I did. So, I ended up with the easiest part of the job. Watching the machine all day instead to make sure nothing went wrong with it. Easy peasy...needless to say, always speak up when you know it is killing you on the inside. It's ok to be nice TC. But never take any shit when you know it turns out to be bull shit, along with anyone who will jump at the chance to take advantage of that.
Well, we all do the same job. So it's not like things would actively get easier. I am going to tell my manager to only work me at the other hotel when it's absolutely necessary though, and that if she and I are working the same shift she needs to be at the one she was hired for.

OhhhJa posted...
At the very least make this bitch find her own ride home if she's gonna complain about everything
I am. Though, she's already got it worked out to stay at the hotel for free if she has no ride. She just doesn't want to.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 3:21:10 PM
#23:


It's done. I texted her and told her I was done doing any more favors for them. That she needs to make other arrangements. She asked why, and I told her that they've just been using me and I need to put a stop to it for my own mental health. She tried calling, but I didn't answer.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 3:29:00 PM
#24:


Jeez. She won't stop texting... I'm not even going to look at any more. She's got me trying to explain myself, and I don't owe her an explanation.

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OhhhJa
10/25/20 3:29:09 PM
#25:


KogaSteelfang posted...
It's done. I texted her and told her I was done doing any more favors for them. That she needs to make other arrangements. She asked why, and I told her that they've just been using me and I need to put a stop to it for my own mental health. She tried calling, but I didn't answer.
You shouldn't have said it was for your mental health. Just tell them its because they're assholes simply put. Don't give them any leverage to use against you. Show strength even if its a facade
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OhhhJa
10/25/20 3:30:02 PM
#26:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Jeez. She won't stop texting... I'm not even going to look at any more. She's got me trying to explain myself, and I don't owe her an explanation.
and thats why I was saying you shouldn't make it about you in any way. Manipulative people will use details like that to try take advantage of you
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 3:31:12 PM
#27:


OhhhJa posted...
You shouldn't have said it was for your mental health. Just tell them its because they're assholes simply put. Don't give them any leverage to use against you. Show strength even if its a facade
Oh, well, too late for that. Honestly, I don't it matters what reason I give though. They don't give a crap about any one except themselves, and everyone but my manager sees it. I was just trying to be helpful. lol
No good deed and all that.

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OhhhJa
10/25/20 3:34:02 PM
#28:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Oh, well, too late for that. Honestly, I don't it matters what reason I give though. They don't give a crap about any one except themselves, and everyone but my manager sees it. I was just trying to be helpful. lol
No good deed and all that.
They can use that sort of information to manipulate you at work though. Could even try to tell your manager that you're having mental issues or something. Just best to tell them to fuck off and leave it at that
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OhhhJa
10/25/20 3:35:08 PM
#29:


I make it a point to keep emotions pretty well guarded except with close friends and family
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 3:36:31 PM
#30:


All of my co-workers already know about my anxiety and depression. The anxiety part was actually quite a hurdle that my manager helped coach me through when I started.

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JigsawTDC
10/25/20 3:39:53 PM
#31:


OhhhJa posted...
I make it a point to keep emotions pretty well guarded except with close friends and family

So judging by the fact that you're full of emotional reactions on this board, we can assume you consider us close friends??? Awesome! OhhhJa is my PotD friend!!
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Cacciato
10/25/20 3:40:19 PM
#32:


To paraphrase Dave Chapelle, you should kick her in the vagina with all your strength.

on a serious not though, youre doing the right thing. I know you love had trouble with them in the past and given your own personal shit you have to deal with its better to tell them to go fuck themselves and let the manager deal with it. Thats what shes paid to do.
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 3:43:31 PM
#33:


Cacciato posted...
To paraphrase Dave Chapelle, you should kick her in the vagina with all your strength.

on a serious not though, youre doing the right thing. I know you love had trouble with them in the past and given your own personal shit you have to deal with its better to tell them to go fuck themselves and let the manager deal with it. Thats what shes paid to do.
Seriously, I just can't deal with this right now. I've actually been doing a lot better mentally this year, but these guys... ugh, they drive me right back into it.

Also, my manager deals with them by telling us to be adults and work it out ourselves. Not sure I can count on her for much more than securing my spot at the proper hotel.

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OhhhJa
10/25/20 3:43:41 PM
#34:


JigsawTDC posted...
So judging by the fact that you're full of emotional reactions on this board, we can assume you consider us close friends??? Awesome! OhhhJa is my PotD friend!!
I dont think this thread is the place for you to air your angry grievances bud. The thread that you locked me out of would've been more appropriate
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JigsawTDC
10/25/20 3:46:22 PM
#35:


OhhhJa posted...
I dont think this thread is the place for you to air your angry grievances bud. The thread that you locked me out of would've been more appropriate

Airing angry grievances?? What are you on about? I thought we just declared friendship! And I've never locked you out of a thread? How would I do that without blocking your or closing a thread? The only thread I've closed in recent times had nothing to do with you and no interaction with you. Regardless, glad we can be PotD friends and that you're comfortable sharing your emotions with us!!
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dragon504
10/25/20 3:47:38 PM
#36:


Koga, if you can finally change and stand up for yourself more, good on you mate.

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LeetCheet
10/25/20 4:15:01 PM
#37:


It really irritates me just reading about how these people treat you.
Kinda like how my girlfriend's mother is a total idiot who literally complain about everything and everyone and think she's always right.

I've given her more than enough chances to prove to me that she can change but she never does.

After realizing she's hopeless I started to ignore her.

Like when my girlfriend and I were at this small store and her mother was there as well.

I completely ignored her the whole time, going as far as not even looking at her direction the whole time.

It drove her nuts and it felt so good to piss her off.

Some people just can't handle being ignored.
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 4:27:33 PM
#38:


dragon504 posted...
Koga, if you can finally change and stand up for yourself more, good on you mate.
I'm trying. I'm going to be here with them for the next 7 days though. Ugh.

LeetCheet posted...
It really irritates me just reading about how these people treat you.
Kinda like how my girlfriend's mother is a total idiot who literally complain about everything and everyone and think she's always right.

I've given her more than enough chances to prove to me that she can change but she never does.

After realizing she's hopeless I started to ignore her.

Like when my girlfriend and I were at this small store and her mother was there as well.

I completely ignored her the whole time, going as far as not even looking at her direction the whole time.

It drove her nuts and it felt so good to piss her off.

Some people just can't handle being ignored.
These guys won't be ignored either. I'm sure I'll hear about it tonight when he gets here and tomorrow from her.

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OhhhJa
10/25/20 4:38:23 PM
#39:


JigsawTDC posted...
Airing angry grievances?? What are you on about? I thought we just declared friendship! And I've never locked you out of a thread? How would I do that without blocking your or closing a thread? The only thread I've closed in recent times had nothing to do with you and no interaction with you. Regardless, glad we can be PotD friends and that you're comfortable sharing your emotions with us!!
Ok buddy. Now run along. The adults are talking
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LinkPizza
10/25/20 4:39:33 PM
#40:


Don't worry! You got this! You just gotta be firm with him, too... Good Luck!
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InfestedAdam
10/25/20 4:40:51 PM
#41:


KogaSteelfang posted...
my manager deals with them by telling us to be adults and work it out ourselves.
Thing is, some adults are incapable of being "adults" themselves in the workforce, hence why managers are needed. I will admit, I cannot see myself being a manager and telling other adults to "do their job", so I can kinda see why some managers do not want to get confrontation. Unfortunately I feel that comes with the job of being a manager. Being that "bad guy" and telling others what they can or cannot do.

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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 4:57:41 PM
#42:


Just spoke with my manager. She agrees with me and didn't seem surprised at them. She told me I did right to put my foot down and that I don't have to do what they want.

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JigsawTDC
10/25/20 4:59:25 PM
#43:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Just spoke with my manager. She agrees with me and didn't seem surprised at them. She told me I did right to put my foot down and that I don't have to do what they want.

Congrats! Here's to hoping this is a new beginning and your job becomes a more enjoyable place to work.
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KogaSteelfang
10/25/20 10:38:05 PM
#44:


Ugh... I'm so ready to leave. Just received a call from a guy, he sounded messed up. Told me hold on while he opened his dates... Then told me he was choking his chicken and asked if I wanted to choke it with him. I hung up on him. What's wrong with people?

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OhhhJa
10/25/20 10:41:37 PM
#45:


Wtf. Maybe those co workers are fucking with you. Like maybe they told someone to call in and mess with you. That's just weird and coincidental timing
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wwinterj25
10/25/20 10:57:24 PM
#46:


KogaSteelfang posted...
My manager comes in today. I'll talk with her and let her know I'm not covering their shifts any more,band then I'm gonna tell the wife to find another way home.

Probably for the best. Better yet record any abuse you get from her or her husband and certainly stop giving her lifts home. You're not friends and owe them nothing.

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SusanGreenEyes
10/25/20 11:10:57 PM
#47:


KogaSteelfang posted...
It's done. I texted her and told her I was done doing any more favors for them. That she needs to make other arrangements. She asked why, and I told her that they've just been using me and I need to put a stop to it for my own mental health. She tried calling, but I didn't answer.
Stay strong Dude! I'm proud of you!!

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Been a murder, over in Riften. Some old lady who runs an orphanage. Those poor children must be heartbroken.
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SunWuKung420
10/25/20 11:27:54 PM
#48:


One of our drivers tried to dictate which orders I should cook in what order. I told him to take the 2 orders that were completed and let the adults do the real work.

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Mead
10/25/20 11:30:40 PM
#49:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Ugh... I'm so ready to leave. Just received a call from a guy, he sounded messed up. Told me hold on while he opened his dates... Then told me he was choking his chicken and asked if I wanted to choke it with him. I hung up on him. What's wrong with people?

that right there should get the guy fired

even if he was joking thats messed up and not okay

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JigsawTDC
10/25/20 11:32:47 PM
#50:


He just says "a call from a guy" and his job seems to be customer facing, so it's possible the call was from a customer, not a co-worker? Unless I missed something. But also, wouldn't be too surprised for someone who is on the antagonist co-worker's "side" to try trolling OP.
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