Current Events > Ghosting is one of the worst things about dating.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I would never do it to anyone. It's cruel, especially if things appears to be going well.

That feel when you're waiting for a reply but she's actually done talking to you forever.

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"bUt I dOn'T oWe ThEm AnYtHiNg" - The typical ghoster

I like to think that ghosting is one of the quintessential "what goes around, comes around" behaviors. Karma will rear its head in time, but until then, sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that.

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It's...cruel?

How is it cruel? If anythign it's really nice - because you know you're not wasting your time with someone faking on you for free dinners or whatever reason

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FairySportyOne posted...

If anythign it's really nice

-Someone who's never been ghosted

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FairySportyOne posted...

It's...cruel?

How is it cruel? If anythign it's really nice - because you know you're not wasting your time with someone faking on you for free dinners or whatever reason

i mean, that's one positive way to look at it

feeling still sucks though

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FairySportyOne posted...

It's...cruel?

How is it cruel? If anythign it's really nice - because you know you're not wasting your time with someone faking on you for free dinners or whatever reason

You also get that assurance if they actually tell you they're done with you. The point is that of the ways to break up with someone, ghosting is a shitty one.

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FairySportyOne posted...

It's...cruel?

How is it cruel? If anythign it's really nice - because you know you're not wasting your time with someone faking on you for free dinners or whatever reason

How come you think the options are

-Ghost them
or
-String them along pretending you're interested in them
?

There's a third option and it's to tell them you aren't interested so they can get over it more quickly.

Being ghosted hurts. The other person will eventually learn you don't want them, but more painfully than if you just said it outright. I get it's awkward to tell somebody you don't want them, but it's cowardly and hurtful to let them find out by ghosting them.

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Oh, I didn't know you said BREAKING UP - I thought this topic was about "the worst thing about dating is Ghosting"

I thought you meant some girl ghosts you after 3 dates...not your girlfriend ghosts you after 6 months.

I mean one is just like "oh okay, she's not interested...whatever" and the other is fucked up

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Being ghosted hurts.

Being rejected hurts more. Also, women don't owe you anything during the dating phase.

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FairySportyOne posted...

Oh, I didn't know you said BREAKING UP - I thought this topic was about "the worst thing about dating is Ghosting"

I thought you meant some girl ghosts you after 3 dates...not your girlfriend ghosts you after 6 months.

I mean one is just like "oh okay, she's not interested...whatever" and the other is fucked up

This is how I took it too. Idk if I've even known anyone that's been ghosted after dating a significant amount of time. If it's early in, just treat it like a regular rejection. Does it really matter why she isn't interested?

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If it's early in, just treat it like a regular rejection. Does it really matter why she isn't interested?

EXACTLY, thank you. I appreciate Jiek saying that, because I feel like that is exactly my sentiments. And how dating should be for someone with a heathy and positive mindset. "Why would I care -why- she rejected me? What, would her listing out what she hates about me and the reasons why -really- make me feel better or give me some kind of pseudo-closure?"

Be yourself. Who cares if someone ghosts you during the dating phase. Don't go getting anxious or changing yourself because someone ghosts you. And most importantly...don't let it be a "cruelty" upon you.

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TheCodeisBosco posted...

Karma will rear its head in time, but until then, sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that.

Thanks bro. You'd think it'd get easier but it still stings just the same.

FairySportyOne posted...

Also, women don't owe you anything during the dating phase.

*sigh*


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smoke_break posted...

*sigh*

ok

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Sorry bro, but you need to realize that the onus is not on the woman to text you back and explain to you everything she dislikes about you and make you feel like garbage. The onus is not on the woman to text you back that she was dating you in addition to 3 other men (because it is dating, and she is searching for the right guy) and she picked someone other than you and you are just second rate to her.

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FairySportyOne posted...

Sorry bro, but you need to realize that the onus is not on the woman to text you back and explain to you everything she dislikes about you and make you feel like garbage. The onus is not on the woman to text you back that she was dating you in addition to 3 other men (because it is dating, and she is searching for the right guy) and she picked someone other than you and you are just second rate to her.

Plus, by ghosting they dont have to deal with all the IM A NICE GUY! YOU MUST LIKE ASSHOLES AND TO BE TREATED BAD! Nonsense


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Triple post, but you say it is cruel to ghost and uncruel to give you closure and explain to you - but no, it's really not.

The bare truth would probably hurt you way worse. Such as what I just said above. Being told to your face "Yeah, I was actually dating a few other guys as well because it's so early on, you know, and we've only been out a couple times...and yeah...I picked someone else. I just don't like you much." is not going to make you smile and jump up for joy because she just told you she picked someone else.

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Ghosting is just for cowards who can't handle social interactions and should be alone in the first place.

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It's less wanting an explanation and more just wanting to know that they're no longer interested. I feel like it's just being courteous.

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ghettoraider81 posted...

Plus, by ghosting they dont have to deal with all the IM A NICE GUY! YOU MUST LIKE ASSHOLES AND TO BE TREATED BAD! Nonsense

Exactly. The type of stuff you see posted in screenshots of imgur. Where the guy is like

"Good morning ^^"
"Hello?"
"Jan?
and the girl is like "Hey, sorry for not responding earlier...I just don't think it is a good fit. You were really sweet, but I didn't feel a deep connection. And you were kind of spineless and awkward."
"Well fuck you too you are just crap, you dressed like a ***** on that first date so I knew immediately you were a *****"

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EmbraceOfDeath posted...

Ghosting is just for cowards who can't handle social interactions and should be alone in the first place.

Whoa...

^ Incel post right there...good lord.

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smoke_break posted...

It's less wanting an explanation and more just wanting to know that they're no longer interested. I feel like it's just being courteous.

Ghosting lets you know that.

Women are by their phones at all times. They are in their purse or on their persons at all times. It's been 5 days since she responded to you, and you've texted every day for the past 3 days...
...
...
She's not into you, bro.

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FairySportyOne posted...

Ghosting lets you know that.

I mean yeah it does but it's just a shitty way to go about it, don't see why you don't understand...?

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smoke_break posted...

I mean yeah it does but it's just a shitty way to go about it, don't see why you don't understand...?

How would you prefer the woman go about doing it? Give me a scenario that would satisfy you, please. Your perfect scenario

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you feel awfully strong about ghosting, 4 karma account

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FairySportyOne posted...

How would you prefer the woman go about doing it? Give me a scenario that would satisfy you, please. Your perfect scenario

This is paraphrased one of the messages I've sent someone I saw on POF or OKCupid (forget which site).

"I enjoyed the date but I don't think it's going to work out between us, sorry. It was nice meeting you though."

Just a courtesy. I could've ghosted her and let her figure it out herself in a week or two but it's just wrong man.

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And how do you think she felt reading that?

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FairySportyOne posted...

And how do you think she felt reading that?

Better than if I ghosted her, probably.

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Even if you don't know them much I still think it's pretty lame to ghost somebody.

The closer you get with somebody, the worse it is to ghost them. After one date, yeah fine whatever, it's kind of lame but it's not a big deal.

If you've already gone on a few dates together and they're a nice person, you should really just tell them you aren't feeling a connection. If they get pissy about it or demand a reason why you can block them.

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smoke_break posted...

It's less wanting an explanation and more just wanting to know that they're no longer interested.

the ghosting lets you know

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pepper2012 posted...

the ghosting lets you know

I mean eventually yeah obviously. But for a while you don't know if they are just busy or what. And sometimes people still reply half-heartedly and it's hard to tell what they want.

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I ghosted my ex. But she treated me like garbage pretty much the whole time. So fuck her lol.

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Normally I would not advocate for it.

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hedge your bets. ghosting by one woman is a lot less bothersome when you're talking to five other women.

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FairySportyOne posted...

How would you prefer the woman go about doing it? Give me a scenario that would satisfy you, please. Your perfect scenario

Im sorry, but I think im gonna break it off here. Im just not really feeling it but I wish you well.

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FairySportyOne posted...

How is it cruel?

"Sorry, I don't think we're compatible. I had fun talking with you, though."

Or something along those lines. Respect, honesty, mutual understanding, that sort of thing. Ghosting is the most disrespectful way to end a potential relationship.

I literally got ghosted in a 2 year relationship. One night we're fucking in my bed, the next she blocks me (and my family) on all forms of social media. Then she goes "facebook official" with another guy, my sister's friend sees, she tells my sister and the rest is history. I still wonder how long it would've taken me to find out had my sister's friend not spilled the beans.

FairySportyOne posted...

Also, women don't owe you anything during the dating phase.

As a human being they owe you respectful curtesy.

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It's not hard to say that you aren't feeling a connection. I get that it makes you uncomfortable to say no to somebody but it also shows respect to them and makes it so they don't have to spend time wondering. The nervous uncertainty is the worst part of being ghosted.

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"ghosting" isnt a part of dating
its a part of hooking up

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Cobalt_Wasps posted...

"ghosting" isnt a part of dating

Somebody can definitely ghost you after six months of dating for no discernible reason.

Vescreth posted...

Somebody can definitely ghost you after six months of dating for no discernible reason.

its part of a hookup

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Cobalt_Wasps posted...

its part of a hookup

Uh...you know a hookup is just sex, whereas dating is more like trying to build a relationship, right? You can have a steady relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend, for a long time and somebody might still ghost you.

Vescreth posted...

Uh...you know a hookup is just sex, whereas dating is more like trying to build a relationship, right? You can have a steady relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend, for a long time and somebody might still ghost you.

thats a hookup

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thrashmetal14 posted...

I literally got ghosted in a 2 year relationship. One night we're fucking in my bed, the next she blocks me (and my family) on all forms of social media. Then she goes "facebook official" with another guy, my sister's friend sees, she tells my sister and the rest is history. I still wonder how long it would've taken me to find out had my sister's friend not spilled the beans.

That's fucked up, sorry that happened to you.

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Kajagogo posted...

As a human being they owe you respectful curtesy.

No they don't.

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I think 3 in person dates ghosting is acceptable. 3 may be pushing it but 2 it is acceptable. After that you should explain

You wouldn't do it to anyone because you're a dude and the odds of a girl lashing out at you over a "no" isn't as likely as a dude doing it

Ghosting is annoying af but I can't fault girls for doing it when there are so many dudes out there making threats because they can't handle rejection
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Look at it this way, would you really want to be with someone like that? Fuck em, move on. Plenty of fish in the sea

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One_Day_Remains posted...

You wouldn't do it to anyone because you're a dude and the odds of a girl lashing out at you over a "no" isn't as likely as a dude doing it

Ghosting is annoying af but I can't fault girls for doing it when there are so many dudes out there making threats because they can't handle rejection

It's really not that hard to let somebody down softly.

If they persist, sure, ignore them

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That's not really a counter to what I said and it's not that easy for everyone to just ignore or laugh off a threat or insult they received in response to them being let down softly
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