Board 8 > Which house would you choose to quarantine in? Weird boredom post.

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Underleveled
05/01/20 10:02:34 PM
#1:


Read the options below.




You must quarantine for 30 days in one of the following houses. In addition to their own rules, the following rules apply to all houses:

-There is no physical or legal escape from any of the houses - once you pick one, you're stuck there for the month.
-Food is provided to you for the whole 30 days. Unless told otherwise, you must prepare it yourself.
-Unless told otherwise, you are not allowed to bring anything other than clothing, or anyone

House 1
This house is a secluded cabin in the wilderness with modest supplies - basic cooking equipment, warm blankets, emergency medical supplies, hygienic supplies, some yard and hunting tools, kindling, a few puzzles and board games, and a tube TV with no cable or antenna, but a VCR and a dozen or so movies on VHS. No internet or phone. You are quarantined with a murderous psychopath and any little thing you do could be what sets him off to try and kill you. If this happens, you may defend yourself by any means necessary, including lethal force. However, killing him in anything other than self-defense is murder and you will be convicted. You also cannot intentionally provoke him into attacking you. If you survive your quarantine without breaking the rules, you get $1 billion, tax free.

House 2
This actually isn't a house. It's solitary confinement in a 216 cubic foot cell (that's 6x6x6 feet). You get nothing but the clothes on your back. No entertainment, no showers, nothing. The only light comes from a tiny opening, opened three times a day to give you your meals (prison meals, obviously). However, you are quarantined with the most sexually desirable person you (yes, you specifically) could ever dream of, and they are willing to fulfill your wildest sexual desires for the entirety of the quarantine. After it's over you resume your daily life. The fantasy being ceases to exist.

House 3
This is a gigantic mansion with a fully-stocked kitchen and bar, indoor and outdoor pools, bowling alley, game room, indoor and outdoor Jacuzzi, an enormous outdoor deck, king-sized beds, humongous bathrooms, and, just for good measure, a trampoline. You can invite up to 10 people of your choosing (they may decline the invite, but if they accept, they are also bound to the rules of the quarantine). The only media (movies, music, books, video games, anything) that you are allowed is Star Wars Episode I, which plays on a 24/7 loop on a big screen TV with a surround sound system at full volume in every single room in the house (think the backyard is an escape? It plays on speakers out there too). The TVs and surround sound systems are indestructible and cannot be turned off or tampered with in any way. You are not allowed earplugs or anything else to block the sound. There is absolutely no escaping this movie for 30 days.

House 4
House 4 is a luxurious resort villa for you and your significant other. You may bring anything with you that you want or need. Once the clock begins, your significant other forgets who you are, everything about you, that they ever met you, and anything you shared together. They have all of their other memories just fine, but you are completely wiped out. You have the 30 day quarantine to get them to fall in love with you all over again (merely convincing them that they were in love with you before the memory wipe is not enough). You may use whatever (legal) means necessary to accomplish this, as long as you do not leave the villa. If you succeed, then they regain all of their memories of you, and you each get $10 million per year, tax free, for the rest of your lives. But if you fail, then their memories of you remain permanently wiped. You can still continue to try to work with what you've got, I suppose, but it'll never be the same.

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darkx
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Bartzyx
05/01/20 10:04:23 PM
#2:


yes this is weird

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JoshuaAstray
05/01/20 10:06:11 PM
#3:


If you know how to hunt with a bow and arrow 1 seems like a real easy choice

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MariaTaylor
05/01/20 10:08:07 PM
#4:


4 is the only one that isn't torture, and I have nothing to lose since I'm already a single loser...

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ZenOfThunder
05/01/20 10:11:39 PM
#5:


choice 2 means i get to have sex with morrigan from darkstalkers for 30 straight days how is that bad

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BetrayedTangy
05/01/20 10:12:25 PM
#6:


3 honestly sounds like the absolute worst.

Sleep would be impossible, you would have to be yelling just to have a conversation and you have to hear the same movie nonstop for a whole month.

It could even be my favorite movie and I'd still say hell no.

I voted 4, it's the easiest and you get a reward.

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LOLIAmAnAlt
05/01/20 10:21:03 PM
#7:


1 is the best upside and downside.
2 is fun till it isnt
3 you will never sleep
4 you wont get that reward but I dont have a significant other so its not

Give me 2 lol

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CassandraCain
05/02/20 12:23:00 AM
#8:


Replace TPM with any movie in existence and it's still the worst torture you could come up with. I would rather die than deal with that repetition, so at that point might as well choose option 1.

Second would be great for the first few days but then no showers would kill my sex drive.

I'll go with number 4 because I too am a single loser

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MarkS222222222222222
05/02/20 12:44:54 AM
#9:


What are the physical attributes of the murderous psychopath?

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Ngamer64
05/02/20 2:25:52 AM
#10:


Good topic! Went #2 as it would be miserable, but no lasting impact.


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LordoftheMorons
05/02/20 2:35:21 AM
#11:


How does #4 work if you're single

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Raka_Putra
05/02/20 2:40:41 AM
#12:


Yeah, I chose #4 since I'm single.

But my second answer would be #2.

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red13n
05/02/20 2:41:45 AM
#13:


House 1 is potential death so I'll pass.

House 3 was like "fuck yeah" then I got to the point where it said the sound would be blasting full all the time. Thats pretty much 30 days of sleep deprivation. So that one is also death.

Of the other two, I am going with house 2 because it provides something normally unattainable in real life so I am not passing up that opportunity as much as the lack of shower sucks.

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SovietOmega
05/02/20 2:55:36 AM
#14:


So greed, lust, gluttony, or the painful realization that you are single and will probably remain so until invisible little microbes decide to chill.

Tough choice. 1 is kinda nice until it stops being nice...the ever-present fear of being murdered tarnishes what could otherwise be a nice meditative experience. 2 is about the same with a huge negative offset some by the upside, but then how much of an upside is it realistically? Could even the most desirable being imaginable remain such in constant cramped companionship? It wouldn't be hard to start believing the event was an extreme form of isolation based trauma too. 3 is a big nope. meesa not gonna explain why. 4 is the most tame of the options but just phrasing it like everyone has a significant other is a big punch to the gut :'(

So let's hack this. To start we pick option 2. Knowing the downsides of this option, the most sexually desirable person would naturally be someone who can grant me access to parallel realities via a portal gun or some other method. Legally we may not be able to leave, but nothing in the rules said we couldn't illegally leave! We then portal over to a universe much like this one except the bit about the person stopping existing after the 30 days are up and also option 2 offers a free mansion (sans movie) and a billion dollars after the time is up.

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Janus5k
05/02/20 3:16:42 AM
#15:


Not really sure how 4 work if I'm single

2 would probably suck since I'm more than 6 feet tall

Voted 3 because it sounded funny although I didn't consider the lack of sleep

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Agent M
05/02/20 5:33:45 AM
#16:


#1 sounds like it could work for some people, but honestly, are you ever going to sleep? No matter how tough you are, you won't survive an attack while you are asleep.

#2 sounds reasonable at first, but you'd feel like trash with no ability to maintain your hygiene. The bad breath would be real. You can't see anything in the dark, and you probably don't even have a bed? Just the cold, hard, floor? Still, it's a safe choice I guess....

#3 isn't an option, 30 days of no sleep would cause some serious mental degradation.

#4 only really applies to people who aren't single, or more specifically, people who have been together long enough to be in love. I guess if you are super charming, you might take the risk, but I think people might underestimate the pressure of the time limit, and act unnatural.

So, since I can't really choose #4, it's between #1 and #2. A billion dollars is insane, but I'm not a fighter, so let's just say there is a 50/50 chance I get offed? Not sure I like those odds.

I might have to get stinky.
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#17
Post #17 was unavailable or deleted.
Raka_Putra
05/02/20 5:57:31 AM
#18:


I mean, once you get used to the smell, you probably won't notice it.

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LOLIAmAnAlt
05/02/20 5:57:35 AM
#19:


I chose 2, but didn't take into account that it's only a 6ft high room....I won't ever be able to stand fully or stretch out.
This option may cause physical harm over a month or so...that's no good. This room would only work if you are short.

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LordoftheMorons
05/02/20 6:04:59 AM
#20:


LOLIAmAnAlt posted...
I chose 2, but didn't take into account that it's only a 6ft high room....I won't ever be able to stand fully or stretch out.
This option may cause physical harm over a month or so...that's no good. This room would only work if you are short.
The diagonal along the floor would be ~8.5 feet, so you could fully stretch out while lying down.

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firefdr
05/02/20 6:36:16 AM
#21:


#4 is the easy choice even if you're not single

all others will lead to death or some serious mental health problems
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TomNook
05/02/20 6:42:19 AM
#22:


I like you Underleveled. You make good topics :)

I can't really relate much to #4, so it wouldn't entice my current circumstances.

#3 feels like the safe and easy one for a quarantine. But #2 and #1 are way too tempting to take the easy way out.

#2 is very interesting, but my biggest concern is the lack of light. We get to have a fantasy lover...but we can never actually see them? That is the big rub for this choice.

#1 however, is the big risk big reward. I'm a pretty laid back guy, and I've dabbled in both psychology and law. So if anything, I'd be the guy to relate to a psychopath. Not only that, but I do workout daily, so I'd feel confident in my ability to evade a psychopath, and my skills at preparing a bubble that would alert me if they tried to attack me in my sleep.

All things considered, I'd have to pick #1. The reward is too great.

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ZenOfThunder
05/02/20 7:51:22 AM
#23:


in regards to #2, what if my wildest sex fantasy is to have very public sex in a wide open public place where there is good food and lots of light

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Underleveled
05/02/20 9:53:53 AM
#24:


I almost added into the rules that you couldn't pick 4 if you were single but didn't think people would use it as a loophole. Should've known better!

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Ashethan
05/02/20 10:02:46 AM
#25:


#1 is out immediately. Chance of being brutally murdered, and our only entertainment are VHS tapes? Not worth it.

#4 puts too much at risk. My wife forgets i exist if I can't convince her to fall in love with me in a month's time? Can't risk her memories.

That leaves #2 and #3. Ultimately I pick #2 with my wife, and one of my desires is shower sex. Loophole bitches!

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Whiskey_Nick
05/02/20 10:10:03 AM
#26:


Phantom Menace house easy.


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5tarscream
05/02/20 1:18:54 PM
#27:


Ill take 4. My wife would inevitably find me irresistible. Again.

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PrinceKaro
05/02/20 2:46:33 PM
#28:


House 1

I'd clonk the guy on the head with a shovel as soon as his back was turned, then tie him up and leave him like that for the whole month (of course feeding him to keep him alive).

Then walk away with my cool billion bucks.

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MarkS222222222222222
05/02/20 3:22:40 PM
#29:


The murderous psychopath in house 1 could be a geriatric quadriplegic for all we know. OP hasn't specified.

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redrocket
05/02/20 3:55:18 PM
#30:


firefdr posted...
#4 is the easy choice even if you're not single

says the single guy

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redrocket
05/02/20 3:56:12 PM
#31:


Underleveled posted...
I almost added into the rules that you couldn't pick 4 if you were single but didn't think people would use it as a loophole. Should've known better!

come on man

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lordjers
05/02/20 3:57:18 PM
#32:


House 2 with all that sex but all in a small room with no showers or cleaning could get unpleasant real fast.

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red sox 777
05/02/20 3:58:25 PM
#33:


House 3. I can sleep through Star Wars Episode I no problem.

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MarkS222222222222222
05/02/20 4:07:43 PM
#34:


red sox 777 posted...
House 3. I can sleep through Star Wars Episode I no problem.
At full volume on a surround sound stereo system? And you're at least walking away with permanent hearing damage I'd think

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redrocket
05/02/20 4:10:41 PM
#35:


House 2. My cellmate would be someone with perfect memory, so they can keep track of how long we are in there by counting the meals, and natural bioluminescence for additional light. Then we would do nothing but talk and snuggle until near the end of the final day, when we finally let loose just before release.

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MarkS222222222222222
05/02/20 4:23:53 PM
#36:


redrocket posted...
House 2. My cellmate would be someone with perfect memory, so they can keep track of how long we are in there by counting the meals, and natural bioluminescence for additional light. Then we would do nothing but talk and snuggle until near the end of the final day, when we finally let loose just before release.

Rules state:
the most sexually desirable person you (yes, you specifically) could ever dream of

Sounds like you are constrained by your actual sexual desires (as well as the limitations of your capacity to dream). So if your saying one has complete control over their sexual desires now you're saying homosexuality is a choice you bigot

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mnkboy907
05/02/20 4:50:16 PM
#37:


Tbh the most sexually desirable person I could ever dream of probably is a weird shapeshifting magic being that could be or do anything I'd ever want, so that sounds like a pretty good win. Like yeah, it would spend most of its time looking like a really attractive human, but you know maybe sometimes its body parts change for kinky fun times or maybe it sometimes breathes weird gas that puts us into a shared lucid dream state so we forget we're locked in a cramped box or who knows maybe sometimes it opens a door on its chest to reveal a delicious tray of assorted sushi.

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Xiahou Shake
05/02/20 4:54:37 PM
#38:


House 2 doesn't sound like it even has a toilet and no amount of mind-blowing sex is worth living in a literal mound of waste and not being able to clean yourself at all for a month. Nevermind that you'd probably go literally insane from living in utter blackness for that long.

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banananor
05/02/20 7:56:24 PM
#39:


this is a good topic, and i want to comment on the lack of toilet in 2, which i'm half assuming was just an oversight

if there's a toilet, i would pick 2 just because it's the only one that doesn't have any long-lasting health effects

4 is weird. step 1 is to define what 'falling in love' means. the stipulation might be very easy or basically impossible depending on which philosopher you talk to

i'm not sure of the permanent health effects of the constant loud sound and/or sleep deprivation. that one might have to be my last preference. "max volume" sounds pretty damn loud to me, but my ranking would depend on just how loud it was

1 depends on how stupid the killer is. if the killer decides to wait until i'm asleep it's just instant death. the stipulation about not provoking the killer is pretty lame. would challenging them to board games count as a provocation?

here's how i would rank them:

2 with toilet > 3 with livable volume > memory loss > killer > 3 with unbearable sounds > 2 shit cell

2 and 3 kind of suck for having no prizes, though. so i could see a scenario where my level of $$$ desperation could bump up memory loss or the killer

ACKshually, the premise for 1 doesn't list any penalty for non-lethal defense. if i'm allowed to tie/chain up the killer right off the bat (or the first time they sleep) i'd do that one for sure.

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SuperNiceDog
05/02/20 8:04:01 PM
#40:


this is what I come to the Board for... good good topic.

Went with 4

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pepper2012
05/02/20 8:26:03 PM
#41:


3 would be a cakewalk because ya a bad movie is playing at full volume but it says the bar is STOCKED so I can just get blackout drunk and pass out every night for 30 days
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Wanglicious
05/02/20 8:44:32 PM
#42:


house 4: am single so can't relate. won't try to loophole.

house 3: so you will eventually get used to the movie as background noise. the biggest issue with it? the lack of a reward afterwards. in 4 you get a ton of money, in 1 you get a ton of money, in 2 i mean you walk out with an impossible fantasy but 3? the hell do you have to show for 3? like if you could keep the mansion tax free with all these stips i'd do it but there's nothing here so really it's useless.

house 2: everything sounds great except for the health issues. if you can't brush your teeth for a month, you will have notable issue with your teeth, same issue may occur with bathing, and medical treatment for both will be necessary. i'm not worried about the lack of light, though i'm totally gonna have some really weird fetishes coming out of this. still, doable.

house 1: high risk high reward.

fuck y'all i'm going 1.
stay on guard at all times, be careful with sleeping, and ready just in case.

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Uglyface2
05/02/20 9:04:46 PM
#43:


The crazies have to sleep sometime. Going with 1.
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Omniscientless
05/02/20 9:24:13 PM
#44:


I'm leaning towards 1. I lock myself in my room with food supplies and a self-defense weapon in case the killer tries to use an ax to open the door or something, and just stay there for thirty days. Alternatively, the first day I could try to hide any and all lethal weapons I find in my room and then lock myself there. It's basically the same as 2 except more physically comfortable and with the chirping of birds. If the killer punches through the window or something, I'm pretty sure that'd be enough to kill him in self defense.

I don't think I would even want to have sex in 2. Having someone else in this tiny dark filthy cubicle only makes it worse tbh.

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red13n
05/02/20 9:38:01 PM
#45:


Wanglicious posted...
if you can't brush your teeth for a month, you will have notable issue with your teeth

I'm not advocating to actually do this but unless you already have issues your teeth will be fine for a month of no brushing.

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red13n
05/02/20 9:40:05 PM
#46:


Also 2 specified no shower but it did imply a toilet by that statement. No toilet I'm out.

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MZero11
05/03/20 12:30:18 PM
#47:


4 easily. My girlfriend fell in love with me in less than a month as it is anyway!

Even if I failed it's not like we could never get back together, it would just be like she has amnesia. (which would suck but is nothing compared to the others)

Also do her friends/family forget me too? Or would they be like "yeah you two were together" after we get out?

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