Poll of the Day > What would you personally do if you ran out of toilet paper?

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AirJordan2345
03/26/20 8:12:24 PM
#1:


and hypothetically none of your friends or family had any either. What would be your solution?
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darcandkharg31
03/26/20 8:13:34 PM
#2:


news paper, magazines, shower.

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Dikitain
03/26/20 8:15:03 PM
#3:


Either leaves, magazines, or shower.

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Muscles
03/26/20 8:15:09 PM
#4:


Kleenex

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Metalsonic66
03/26/20 8:18:05 PM
#5:


Use a cheap washrag

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#6
Post #6 was unavailable or deleted.
Mead
03/26/20 8:23:38 PM
#7:


Scoot around on the grass outside

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J_Dawg983
03/26/20 8:29:36 PM
#8:


shower.

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Bulbasaur
03/26/20 8:30:46 PM
#9:


darcandkharg31 posted...
shower


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plop
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AirJordan2345
03/26/20 8:31:56 PM
#10:


J_Dawg983 posted...
shower.
sometimes you ain't at home though, then what would you do?
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ScritchOwl
03/26/20 9:01:07 PM
#11:


Grab a cat

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Revelation34
03/26/20 9:21:58 PM
#12:


My cat.
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WhiskeyDisk
03/26/20 9:46:15 PM
#13:


This is going to sound way more edgelord than intended, but I have a number of Bibles collected from various motels over the years for just such an occasion. It's not a statement about religion, only forethought in an age where phone books and Sears Roebucks catalogs are an anachronistic thing.

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DirtBasedSoap
03/26/20 9:46:56 PM
#14:


I would simply just stop pooping

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DesertPenguin09
03/26/20 11:42:28 PM
#15:


Why is it so hard for people to realize that they can simply jump in the shower after a poop? You're already at home. Take your damn time. If it's late at night and you don't wanna wake the kids, then use TP.

But also, this hoarding is so dumb because in most areas --outside of rural bumblefuck where the nearest anything is a 30 minute drive-- the supply chain delivering to the store isn't running out so they'll keep getting their usual deliveries. You don't need to hoard. Buy your normal amount and when you run out in a few weeks buy another large 20 pack or whatever it is. They'll have them, you don't have to worry. At least they would, if everyone acted like this.

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OhhhJa
03/26/20 11:43:51 PM
#16:


Pee on my asshole
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The Popo
03/26/20 11:54:27 PM
#17:


AirJordan2345 posted...
sometimes you ain't at home though, then what would you do?

Where are we at in this situation, considering that most of us are quarantining?

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Metalsonic66
03/26/20 11:55:13 PM
#18:


DesertPenguin09 posted...
Why is it so hard for people to realize that they can simply jump in the shower after a poop? You're already at home.
Unless you aren't

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AirJordan2345
03/26/20 11:56:51 PM
#19:


Metalsonic66 posted...
Unless you aren't

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DesertPenguin09
03/27/20 12:12:41 AM
#20:


In which case it would be safe to say the place you're at has a supply. You also shouldn't be going out anywhere non-essential so please give an example of where you might be

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Zeus
03/27/20 12:28:56 AM
#21:


DesertPenguin09 posted...
Why is it so hard for people to realize that they can simply jump in the shower after a poop? You're already at home. Take your damn time. If it's late at night and you don't wanna wake the kids, then use TP.

Would clog the drain.

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ChimeraBlue
03/27/20 12:47:35 AM
#22:


*shrug*

Kleenex, paper towels, rags, any number of other things you could use.

Water, leaves, baby wipes, etc.
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Metalsonic66
03/27/20 1:18:42 AM
#23:


DesertPenguin09 posted...
In which case it would be safe to say the place you're at has a supply. You also shouldn't be going out anywhere non-essential so please give an example of where you might be
Work

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#24
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LinkPizza
03/27/20 1:28:21 AM
#25:


I know a friend of mine told his wife, We have a lot of black shirts. I guess well use though, rinse them off in the shower, and then wash them if it came to that.
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ColdOne666
03/27/20 1:29:42 AM
#26:


Steal some from work.

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mrmeano21
03/27/20 1:39:27 AM
#27:


The 3 Ss shit shower and shave coffee helps this process so coffee shit shower and shave?

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DPsx7
03/27/20 2:21:48 AM
#28:


Never happened. It comes in multi-packs now.

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wwinterj25
03/27/20 2:21:55 AM
#29:


AirJordan2345 posted...
What would be your solution?

Kitchen towel or newspaper probably. Worse comes to worse and those run out? Get a shower after I shit.


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Raddest_Chad
03/27/20 3:21:35 AM
#30:


Rip up some paper towel... buy a bidet?
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DocDelicious
03/27/20 4:16:28 AM
#31:


Fast food napkins.

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synth_real
03/27/20 4:39:26 AM
#32:


I'd just eat stuff to make me super constipated so I don't poop nearly as much, and when I do it's so hard and dry that it barely makes a mess at all

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FrozenBananas
03/27/20 5:22:09 AM
#33:


Im confused as to why people are saying if youre not at home

every public place should have toilet paper. If your work doesnt have toilet paper, thats a much more serious problem and it has nothing to do with you...but that shouldnt happen.

also most people I know literally refuse to poop unless theyre at home. I dont see why this is such a big deal. Jump in the fucking shower


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SpaceBear_
03/27/20 5:49:17 AM
#34:


What can of freak takes a shit anywhere but their own house?

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Metalsonic66
03/27/20 6:12:40 AM
#35:


SpaceBear_ posted...
What can of freak takes a shit anywhere but their own house?
When you gotta go

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dancer62
03/27/20 6:40:08 AM
#36:


I'm saving grocery ads, since we don't get Sears and Montgomery Ward catalogs any more. I'll need to buy a diaper pail to store the dirty till I can throw it in the dumpster..

I trust it won't get to that point, the hoarders should already have more than they can ever hope to scalp out of the trunk of their car, it'll be funny when they get stuck with more TP than they can use in a lifetime. I've already read about people getting stuck with tens of thousands of dollars in hand wipes they can't sell because of anti-profiteering laws and Ebay and Amazon cracking down on them.

I also read yesterday that plumbers are staying busy cleaning out drains from people flushing non-flushable stuff. Dumb!

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magemaximus
03/27/20 6:54:01 AM
#37:


I would stop eating oily foods so that my shits arent messy. Stay away from hot sauce and cheese as well.

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ThrillKillFan
03/27/20 7:14:42 AM
#38:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1188GO4p1E

I'd get shwifty and shit on the floor. But only if Mr. Bulldops was there to clean it up.

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peanutt121
03/27/20 8:42:45 AM
#39:


Use a good washcloth and wash, reuse as needed as anyone with a half a brain should be doing so you aren't saving it in your landfill for future pandemics. this is why the whole toilet paper hoarding seemed so totally stupid to me to begin with. If you're that worried you can use an old one and burn it when this over.

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Action53
03/27/20 9:08:13 AM
#40:


I've been hoarding flour instead of toilet paper

You can't eat toilet paper but you can wipe your ass with a tortilla

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dancer62
03/27/20 9:24:20 AM
#41:


The grocery store has restocked with toilet paper. The bad news, $2.99 for the skimpy little 4-pack you could usually get for 79. If you're desperate, I guess 75 a roll isn't all that bad. Oh, not profiteering, it's a premium brand, not the usual generic store brand.

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ThrillKillFan
03/27/20 9:28:07 AM
#42:


dancer62 posted...
The grocery store has restocked with toilet paper. The bad news, $2.99 for the skimpy little 4-pack you could usually get for 79. If you're desperate, I guess 75 a roll isn't all that bad. Oh, not profiteering, it's a premium brand, not the usual generic store brand.
I got two 4 packs from Dollar Tree (last two in the box though) about two weeks ago while everybody was busy running to Walmart and wherever else looking for toilet paper.

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trodi_911
03/27/20 9:40:32 AM
#43:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i3ljBj7NbI

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b_hamnite
03/27/20 10:26:59 AM
#44:


Garden hose. Duct tape. Instant bidet.

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LinkPizza
03/27/20 11:51:48 AM
#45:


Action53 posted...
I've been hoarding flour instead of toilet paper

You can't eat toilet paper but you can wipe your ass with a tortilla

Remind me of a post someone showed me that they got off of Facebook...

b_hamnite posted...
Garden hose. Duct tape. Instant bidet.

A friend made on out of a shower head...
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Aculo
03/27/20 11:54:34 AM
#46:


AirJordan2345 posted...
sometimes you ain't at home though, then what would you do?
except everyone is at home, ok?

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ok?
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DesertPenguin09
03/27/20 1:02:46 PM
#47:


Aculo posted...
except everyone is at home, ok?
And if you're not then you work for an essential business or are doing essential shopping like food. Both those scenarios would have TP

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Revelation34
03/27/20 8:54:13 PM
#48:


peanutt121 posted...
Use a good washcloth and wash, reuse as needed as anyone with a half a brain should be doing so you aren't saving it in your landfill for future pandemics. this is why the whole toilet paper hoarding seemed so totally stupid to me to begin with. If you're that worried you can use an old one and burn it when this over.


I have never owned a landfill before.
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xjayguyx
03/27/20 9:03:56 PM
#49:


Poop in the shower probs. However I have over 5000 napkins so I would use those first then poop in the shower.
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ThrillKillFan
03/27/20 10:16:43 PM
#50:


xjayguyx posted...
Poop in the shower probs. However I have over 5000 napkins so I would use those first then poop in the shower.
I have always wondered why it seems like no one has created a shower/toilet hybrid. It would save some time for sure. You could have a 'seat' at the back like a toilet where you sit down and do your 'business', then you just gotta 'flush' it and stand back up take your shower.

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