Poll of the Day > Post jokes

(+) Yeah! (+)

What do you call a cow with no legs?

ground beef

Pre jokes

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Where do chickens grow?

on an eggplant

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Your face

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What do you call a tree with no limbs?

A post

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What do you call a ghost from the future?

A post

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Why do Swedish ships have bar codes on them?

So you can scan the Navy in

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A boy and his mom were walking in the park and they sawn two dogs humping. The boy asked his mommy "What are they doing?" Not wanting to discuss it or go into details, she says "They're baking a cake."

They go home and nothing else was said. Everyone had a nice dinner, had some family time, and kid goes to bed.

In the morning, the boy excitedly jumps on his parents bed. "Mommy! Daddy! Guess what! I know you were baking a cake last night"

The mother asks "How do you know?"

"Because I licked the frosting off the couch"

What is the most common safe word for dyslexics?

POST!!!!

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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because its the only love they get.

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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice"

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My Dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,

"How much?"

Boy: "$ 750"

Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that again; you're in my closet now."
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A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.

"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
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How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?
The blind start reading your face.

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Lots of unfunny needlessly crude boomerino jokes ITT.

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It's the police m'am. Your son was hit by a drunk driver. He's dead!

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What did one post say to the other?

Nothing. Posts don't talk!

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Where do posts go to work?

A post office

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What do you call a post on the wall?

A poster

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What do you call a post that gets ribbed for always being late?

Post Pwned

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SpaceBear_ posted...

Lots of unfunny needlessly crude boomerino jokes ITT.

yeah some serious r/boomerhumor from a couple folks

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The other day I spotted an albino Dalmatian

it was the least I could do for the poor guy

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What is an African Elephant?

A frickin' elephant, thats what.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

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i would, but i don't have any pics of sunny
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How did the Adam's family learn about their cousins death?

A post It note

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Why does the president always win at card games?

Because he has the Trump card!

What is the worst thing a zombie prostitute can say to you?

Keep the tip!

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Mead posted...

The other day I spotted an albino Dalmatian

it was the least I could do for the poor guy

This is great.

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How do you break up the Roman Empire?
With a pair of Caesars!

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