Poll of the Day > The goddess of love offers to grant you a companion after your own heart.

(+) Yeah! (+)

"Galatea"
-A life sized ivory statue.
-Can talk and move eloquently when you are making physical contact with her but otherwise remains a statue.
-Exceptionally beautiful and very pleasing to just look at for you and most other people.
-Worth a literal fortune if you were horrible enough to sell her.

Beatrice
-A small empty book.
-She can only communicate by writing or drawing in blank pages but can hear outside of the book.
-She can enter other books if hers is placed next to them and read as well as write or draw in them.
-Her book renews pages as needed and will always find it's way back to you if lost or stolen.

Maya
-An incorporeal thought form.
-While awake you might occasionally feel her gentle presence while deep in thought but that's it.
-Grants you incredible lucid dreams every night where she acts as a guide if you wish.
-Can read your mind but promises to never do so without permission and will reassure you you aren't crazy if asked.

Victoria
-A cute mechanical clockwork doll.
-Can move and act freely, but not speak directly, if her wind up key is reset at least once every two hours.
-Comes with an intricate and rather large doll house containing her spare parts and other oddities, some of which might be useful or valuable.
-She can transfer her power to other dolls and toys to temporarily grant them autonomy but not quite "life".

Ai
-A sentient computer program.
-She can be transferred to and from different computers/laptops but tends to have trouble with anything recent.
-Can still send texts and email to modern smart phones and computers to keep in touch though.
-Will sometimes get lost in the internet for a few days and come back with strange things or ideas in her head.

"Dolly"
-An imperfect clone of someone of your choice.
-Can communicate and perform most actions but not particularly well.
-Doesn't resent you for choosing this Vessel but suffers certain psychological and physical ailments as a result.
-Sterile and has a shortened lifespan, she will appear to you at the equivalent age to yours.

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nice try this is obviously the goddess of cringe

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Mead posted...

nice try this is obviously the goddess of cringe

The only thing cringing around here is your face lol.

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I'll just stick with my human SO...
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LinkPizza posted...

I'll just stick with my human SO...

You would turn down a soul mate hand crafted for you by the goddess of love herself? Not to mention all of the benefits the different vessels would give you to make it even better. Are you mad?

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Which one makes the best pizza?

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Dreaming_King posted...

LinkPizza posted...

I'll just stick with my human SO...

You would turn down a soul mate hand crafted for you by the goddess of love herself? Not to mention all of the benefits the different vessels would give you to make it even better. Are you mad?

The benefits seemed to be outweighed by all the drawbacks. If the advantages outweighed the disadvantages, then I would consider it. Even then, I still might choose human. But they don't.

As for soulmate, I already found mine, as far as I'm concerned...
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Also, why is this Goddess of Love fucking with us? Why not give us a companion in the best form? The one with no disadvantages. Or very minimum. Or why can't she give us the companion in the form that would work for us best?
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LinkPizza posted...

The benefits seemed to be outweighed by all the drawbacks. If the advantages outweighed the disadvantages, then I would consider it. Even then, I still might choose human. But they don't.

As for soulmate, I already found mine, as far as I'm concerned...

Then choose Galatea and sell her for a fortune. Then take your SO on a nice vacation maybe retire early if you can

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LinkPizza posted...

Also, why is this Goddess of Love fucking with us? Why not give us a companion in the best form? The one with no disadvantages. Or very minimum. Or why can't she give us the companion in the form that would work for us best?

Well she created the soul of your soul mate because it would be unethical to just find someone compatible with you and teleport them over and brainwash them into liking you. Still the soul needs some sort of vessel to inhabit and shoving it into the body of some random person would also be unethical so she has to use an inanimate object. Dolly is the exception since her form was incomplete/defective enough that she wouldn't have a full soul anyways. She is giving you the choice to pick one for yourself since each is so different from the others.

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JOExHIGASHI posted...

Then choose Galatea and sell her for a fortune. Then take your SO on a nice vacation maybe retire early if you can

That just seems mean, though...

Dreaming_King posted...

Well she created the soul of your soul mate because it would be unethical to just find someone compatible with you and teleport them over and brainwash them into liking you. Still the soul needs some sort of vessel to inhabit and shoving it into the body of some random person would also be unethical so she has to use an inanimate object. Dolly is the exception since her form was incomplete/defective enough that she wouldn't have a full soul anyways. She is giving you the choice to pick one for yourself since each is so different from the others.

Why would she need to brainwash them? If they were really my soulmate, then we should already be compatible and would like each other. Also, she could give this soul a human body. Without having to steal one. And she could have done it at a certain time so that the person would be at the age that you like. Like if you wanted older, or younger, or the same age. Like something that you would like the most, instead of all these other half-cooked vessels. And I understand that she's giving us the choice. But if she knows us well enough to know about our perfect soulmate, she should know which vessel we would like the most. The Goddess of Love is fucking with us, and this is just a game to her. And I'm not going to play. She doesn't seem to care about us and our happiness. She's just bored and this is how she has fun...
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No dudes? Pretty shitty list anyway.

Cruddy_horse posted...

No dudes? Pretty shitty list anyway.

I just assumed for the poster who wanted men, you would just get a guy instead of a female. It's all good, I would think...
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LinkPizza posted...

The Goddess of Love is fucking with us, and this is just a game to her. And I'm not going to play. She doesn't seem to care about us and our happiness. She's just bored and this is how she has fun...

...So you've seen though her ruse have you? Hahaha, oh how clever, this level of lucidity must come from already being with someone you consider your "soul mate". No matter, there are far more dissatisfied with their lot, their love, and their life. There are many more who would jump at the chance to find love in an object or concept that is inherently weaker and on a lesser level than a human, one they can feel secure in their power over. "Love" is nothing more than a farce after all, something that only exists in fairy tales and the overactive imagination of sad lonely husks, most people who are "lucky" enough to find it end up as just two pathetic fools licking each other's wounds.

Why not accept the invitation of my Goddess, she only wants what is best for mankind in the long run. As an ancient entity born from the souls of the billions of humans who yearn for her she can manipulate souls and by spreading her creations among mankind and infiltrating the hearts of the weak she will soon gain enough of a foot hold in this reality to cross the threshold and subjugate the souls of us ALL! Come, hasten the acceleration of the coming soul singularity, the greatest LOVE, come and vote in my poll!


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LinkPizza posted...

Why would she need to brainwash them? If they were really my soulmate, then we should already be compatible and would like each other. Also, she could give this soul a human body. Without having to steal one. And she could have done it at a certain time so that the person would be at the age that you like. Like if you wanted older, or younger, or the same age. Like something that you would like the most, instead of all these other half-cooked vessels. And I understand that she's giving us the choice. But if she knows us well enough to know about our perfect soulmate, she should know which vessel we would like the most. The Goddess of Love is f***ing with us, and this is just a game to her. And I'm not going to play. She doesn't seem to care about us and our happiness. She's just bored and this is how she has fun...

bruh you're overthinking it. why are you afraid of love
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I will stop her at all cost. She's doing her best to wipe out all of mankind. But I won't let that happen. Not on my watch...

TheWitchMorgana posted...

bruh you're overthinking it. why are you afraid of love

I'm not afraid on love. I already found it... And the vessels this so called goddess is trying to force on us suck... She couldn't give us a good vessel?
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while you're deliberating over it i'll be over here smooching my hot statue gf sucks to suck lmao
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the first one sounds the best but can you bang the statue?

TheWitchMorgana posted...

while you're deliberating over it i'll be over here smooching my hot statue gf sucks to suck lmao

You're right. Kissing a rock does sucks. Even it it's a hot rock... I'll be kissing my human boyfriend, who can actually kiss back. And very well...

LaggnFragnLarry posted...

the first one sounds the best but can you bang the statue?

My problem with most of these is that they seem like most can't have sex... Well, real sex. One can in your dreams, and maybe the doll one (Victoria) in real life. And Dolly. But the others seem like you wouldn't be getting any from them...
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I'd pass on all of them, thanks.



Dreaming_King posted...

You would turn down a soul mate hand crafted for you by the goddess of love herself?

Soul mates with mostly shitty bodies (or none at all) are still a net negative scenario. And that's assuming you even buy the premise of "soul mates" in the first place (which I don't).

There's no such thing as "The One". There's only "Close Enough" and how hard you're willing to work to make things fit together.

The idea of "true love" and "souls makes" and "The One" or "Mr/Miss Right" has caused more misery and suffering in modern human relationships than almost anything else, because it gives people impossibly high standards and ultimately leaves them lonely and sad and wondering when their damned Prince is going to show up.
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Why arent any of them ass-backwards, impractical fantasy swords?

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Beatrice?

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-085

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I dont get it which ponies do these correspond to

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Sarcasthma posted...

Why arent any of them ass-backwards, impractical fantasy swords?

Thanks for the idea.

"Joyous"
-An ancient magical sword
- While holding or wearing the blade you can telepathically communicate with the soul inside it.
-The blade has magical properties that enhance the physical attributes of the wielder.
-Unless used in battle once a month the blade grows dull, the magic weakens, and the voice inside distant until it she becomes inaudible.

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What would you name a magical rapier/smallsword that, like, it just gets longer forever... like Goku's power pole

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Dont need it, just give me the equivalent value in U.S. dollars please.

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Lokarin posted...

What would you name a magical rapier/smallsword that, like, it just gets longer forever... like Goku's power pole

Harry

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Lokarin posted...

What would you name a magical rapier/smallsword that, like, it just gets longer forever... like Goku's power pole

Maybe Blade of Babel like the tower of Babel being tall enough to approach heaven, or The Nail of God, since it can reach any target (not necessarily but you get my point). If you wanted more of a single word answer then Quill since it invokes the lightness of a feather (it naturally being a thinner/lighter sword) and the speed and reach that a bird has in going after it's prey.

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Leaning towards Beatrice or Maya.

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LinkPizza posted...

I'll just stick with my human SO...

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"I see" says the Goddess of Love, "No other vessel will suffice: your soul mate shall inhabit the KILLDOZER"

*screaming guitar solo*

https://i.imgur.com/0ny1qq9.jpg

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Sealed In and Shoot to Kill complications for a starting total of 31 KK.

Medium bulldozer without scrap metal and with bullet proof glass for 6 KK (25KK)

Remove the Scoop for extra speed and mobility and give me the box of guns for 2KK (23KK)

I'm taking the Advanced Engine for 6KK for extreme speeds, Stronger Treads for 5KK to save on weight and the risk of being stopped by a physical object/damage, Advanced Optics for 3KK so I can see in the dark, Murder Holes for 2KK in case anyone tries to pull me over and I have to use my box of guns, Self Destruct for 3KK for a big boom, Oil for 1KK for a bigger boom, Extra Fuel for 3KK for a biggest boom, (0KK)

Assuming I'm not a target as soon as I enter the Killdozer then I set out in the middle of the night for a prime location. Since the machine will look mostly innocent as long as I drive at the speed limit I cold probably get pretty close before running into any problems but if I do the initial response should be small and manageable. When in potion I can gun it and do a massive amount of structural damage in one blow which can be capitalized on by the explosion.

I have no experience in gun fights or operating heavy machinery so that "ninja build" is probably my best bet for causing the greatest amount of damage. Might want to keep the scoop just to make the ramming bit penetrate a bit deeper though...

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Dolly probably as although imperfect would be as close to feeling like a human as possible compared to the rest. It's been a fantasy of mine to clone folk too so that would be interesting to see. For anyone who voted "A.I" they should watch a movie called her. That sums up how that would be.

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"A companion after your own heart" doesn't have an inherently romantic connotation and, tbh, if it came from most peoples' hearts, it'd be dark and twisted. Mine, by contrast, would be a glorious, golden light... which would be totally boring. For the added poll question, it mentions soul mate but... given the descriptions, there doesn't seem to be anything suitable for attraction anyway. And, honestly, compared to the poll options, creating a platonic companion would be cooler than any of these weird "soulmate" twisted wishes.

Plus my soulmate is Marge.

Dreaming_King posted... "Dolly"
-An imperfect clone of someone of your choice.
-Can communicate and perform most actions but not particularly well.
-Doesn't resent you for choosing this Vessel but suffers certain psychological and physical ailments as a result.
-Sterile and has a shortened lifespan, she will appear to you at the equivalent age to yours.

So you'll be resented if you pick any of the other vessels?

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Zeus posted...

So you'll be resented if you pick any of the other vessels?

To me, it sounds like they would have preferred another vessel, but are ok with this one. This one comes imperfect and lives a shorter life. And they suffer psychological and physical ailments because of it...
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I'd pass. I find the idea of creating someone for the sole purpose of loving someone to be pretty repugnant.

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LinkPizza posted...

To me, it sounds like they would have preferred another vessel, but are ok with this one. This one comes imperfect and lives a shorter life. And they suffer psychological and physical ailments because of it...

But all of those other conditions sound far more horrific.

PMarth2002 posted...

I'd pass. I find the idea of creating someone for the sole purpose of loving someone to be pretty repugnant.

So you must hate mothers then >_>


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Zeus posted...

But all of those other conditions sound far more horrific.

I agree. I think theyre worse. But maybe they wouldnt. I mean, it seems a lot of people here want a hot stone lover. And even more want an incorporeal thought form... So, IDK...
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LinkPizza posted...

I agree. I think theyre worse. But maybe they wouldnt. I mean, it seems a lot of people here want a hot stone lover. And even more want an incorporeal thought form... So, IDK...

You can't stick your dick into stone.
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Revelation34 posted...

You can't stick your dick into stone.

Yep. Well, not without a hole. But even that hole wouldnt feel good. And youd have to literally drill (no pun intended) into them... Which is why I definitely wouldnt pick it...
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LinkPizza posted...

Yep. Which is why I definitely wouldnt pick it...

You don't even want to try?
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Revelation34 posted...

You don't even want to try?

Nope...
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LinkPizza posted...

Nope...

Come on. It could be fun.
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Revelation34 posted...

Come on. It could be fun.

Nope. Rocks are dirty. And not the good kind. Also, too hard. And again, not the good kind... And sticking it in wont feel good as there is no grip... Or not enough...
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LinkPizza posted...

Nope. Rocks are dirty. And not the good kind. Also, too hard. And again, not the good kind... And sticking it in wont feel good as there is no grip... Or not enough...

Motor oil?
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Revelation34 posted...

Motor oil?

When it dry out, your dick will get stuck inside... And then youll have to chop it off...
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Galatea is made of ivory, so you'd be sticking your dong in carved elephant teeth if that makes you feel any better.

A life sized, say, marble statue would weigh over 500lbs so that definitely wouldn't be comfortable to deal with.

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Dreaming_King posted...

Galatea is made of ivory, so you'd be sticking your dong in carved elephant teeth if that makes you feel any better.

It does not...
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Dreaming_King posted...

Galatea is made of ivory, so you'd be sticking your dong in carved elephant teeth if that makes you feel any better.

A life sized, say, marble statue would weigh over 500lbs so that definitely wouldn't be comfortable to deal with.

So a literal vagina dentata.
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