Current Events > Hi, I chopped jalapeños and then touched my bare penis.

Topic List	Page List: 1, 2
Foppe 01/15/20 3:59:23 PM #51:	This is the best reason to not have balls. --- GameFAQs isn't going to be merged in with GameSpot or any other site. We're not going to strip out the soul of the site. -CJayC <cite>Foppe posted [p:932975845] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>This is the best reason to not have balls. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
AvlButtslam 01/15/20 4:13:42 PM #52:	HotLap posted... He found me... I am dead --- Hey kiddies <cite>AvlButtslam posted [p:932976516] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>HotLap posted...</cite> <quote>He found me...</quote> I am dead</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
NinjaBreakfast 01/15/20 4:14:02 PM #53:	I did this before, not great! --- https://imgur.com/nGZeEqw Do you really think you can beat me? <cite>NinjaBreakfast posted [p:932976533] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>I did this before, not great! </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
treewojima 01/15/20 4:26:48 PM #54:	this is great <cite>treewojima posted [p:932977107] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>this is great</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/15/20 7:32:29 PM #55:	Eevee-Trainer posted... Fuckin' tag ~~although I'm sorry your balls hurt tc~~ It was more my bare penis than my sweaty, putty-like stone pouch but I will thank Jesus Christ every single day for the compassion youve shown for my injuries. --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:932985087] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Eevee-Trainer posted... </cite> <quote>Fuckin' tag although I'm sorry your balls hurt tc</quote> It was more my bare penis than my sweaty, putty-like stone pouch but I will thank Jesus Christ every single day for the compassion youve shown for my injuries. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
AlleyViper620 01/15/20 7:41:26 PM #56:	Lol this topic took an interesting turn. Bravo. --- This space intentionally left blank. <cite>AlleyViper620 posted [p:932985411] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Lol this topic took an interesting turn. Bravo. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/17/20 1:38:26 AM #57:	I remember when I was ten years old I put an enormous spoonful of rice in my mouth. I barely chewed it before forcing it down my esophagus. I told my parents I like taking larger spoonfuls because "I feel this nice pressure on my neck." My parents exchanged a look that I didn't understand at the time, but now I know they were realizing that their ten year old son might have a choking fetish. And boy howdy, they were right. "I need a cigarette," my father grumbled as he left the dinner table. I know this probably sounds like a digression, but I swear it'll come back around. See, I had another visitor last night. Or at least I think I did. My days and dreams are becoming harder to discern from one another. God, I hope this was real. See, my door hasn't been repaired since my branding, so now hooligans can just casually enter my home to commit crimes. When I heard someone creep in earlier today, I quietly grabbed a baseball bat from my closet. I tip-toed my way to the top of the stairs and glanced down. It was... me. I was standing at the bottom of my stairs. "What..." I said in spite of myself. The visitor turned around and met my gaze. "Hello there," he said. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. "@Gobstoppers12 and @kingdrake2 said we have a lot in common," he answered. "Thought I'd stop by." "Who are you?" I shouted, white-knuckling the bat. "I'm @AirFresh ." "Why do you look like me?" I started to panic. "Hell if I know, man." "Are you me from like... an alternate universe? What's going on?" AirFresh began to ascend the stairs. "You ask too many questions. Just live in the moment." "I'd love to, Other Me, but I'm a little confused right now," I wiped the sweat from my brow. AirFresh has reached the top of the stairs. "We are not the same," he reassured me in a soothing tone as he eased the bat from my hands. "We may look alike, but we are still individuals. Let me see your hands." He took my hands and turned them over in his own. His hands were soft, but strong. After spotting a scar on his left palm, I couldn't help but yelp, "That scar!" and show him my own. "You have one too," he whispered. "In the same place." "What's going on?!" I cried as I started to pace. "Where did you come from?" "I've always been here," he shrugged. As I paced I wondered how much of our pasts were aligned. Did I fall into some wormhole and end up in his timeline? And why was he so calm? I was freaking out. Suddenly I remembered @KillerKhan420 's branding. That only happened yesterday. If AirFresh got his back sizzled by a molten, raving ballsack, then that would be more proof that we are the same person. I gripped the bottom of my shirt and nodded to him. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He nodded. I turned around and lifted my shirt to reveal the fresh burn. When I looked back to see if AirFresh had the burn as well, I found him with his pants around his ankles. His bare penis rested comfortably on his... shapely, charming nutmeat. "Ah! I.... uh..." I stammered as I lowered my shirt. "Do you like jalapeos? he asked as he put half of one in his mouth. Wordlessly, I approached. I grew closer and closer until I leaned in and bit into the exposed half of the pepper. Our lips brushed as I pulled my half of the jalapeo away. I chewed it, stem and all, and swallowed. "I ate the stem," I told him. "I know," he replied. "Is it okay to eat the stem?" I asked. "Todo est bien, mi amor," AirFresh whispered into my ear. He leaned me against a wall and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't long before we were sloppily making out like we were a couple of teenagers. He pulled my shirt over my head and kissed along my chest. I knelt down and helped his feet out of the pants around his ankles. I grasped his bare penis and made tearful eye contact. "Te amo... Te amo. Cambiaste mi vida." I began to yank him to the rhythm of "O Come All Ye Faithful." Soon we made our way to the shower. AirFresh and I just exploring each other's bodies in the falling water. Still, my thoughts drifted back to earlier. How did he get here? I embraced my lover and whispered, "I just don't understand. I need to understand." He cupped my cheek and answered softly, "We have everything we need right here. Prepara tu ano, mi amor." AirFresh turned me around and bent me over. "Put your hands against the wall." I did as I was told and soon, I was choking again. I know my butthole doesn't breathe, but that same pressure I felt in my throat all those years ago, I felt again in the depths of AirFresh's penetration. With each thrust I felt myself give into him more and more. The rhythmic slapping of his powerful, explosive clackerbag against the back of my thigh may as well have been a metronome. We grunted our way to a beautiful finish line and collapsed on one another on the floor of the shower. "You could have put the stem end in your mouth," I pointed out as I drained. "What?" AirFresh asked, confused. "Just seems kinda rude that you would just make me eat the jalapeo stem is all." "I didn't think you were gonna eat it. I would have just spit it out." "Still, you were gonna make me be the one to have to- nevermind," I gave up. "I just hope I don't get stem flu or something." "There's no stem flu," AirFresh rolled his eyes. "You don't know that, you're not a fucking pepper doctor." We laid entwined on the shower floor until the hot water ran out. We got dressed, he kissed me goodbye and said he hoped he could see me again. I hope so too. Who knows? He might forget to call, but I'll never forget our time together. And I will never forget to thank Jesus Christ every single day for leading @AirFresh to my front door so he could make quick work of my back walls. --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:933064466] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>I remember when I was ten years old I put an enormous spoonful of rice in my mouth. I barely chewed it before forcing it down my esophagus. I told my parents I like taking larger spoonfuls because "I feel this nice pressure on my neck." My parents exchanged a look that I didn't understand at the time, but now I know they were realizing that their ten year old son might have a choking fetish. And boy howdy, they were right. "I need a cigarette," my father grumbled as he left the dinner table. I know this probably sounds like a digression, but I swear it'll come back around. See, I had another visitor last night. Or at least I think I did. My days and dreams are becoming harder to discern from one another. God, I hope this was real. See, my door hasn't been repaired since my branding, so now hooligans can just casually enter my home to commit crimes. When I heard someone creep in earlier today, I quietly grabbed a baseball bat from my closet. I tip-toed my way to the top of the stairs and glanced down. It was... me. I was standing at the bottom of my stairs. "What..." I said in spite of myself. The visitor turned around and met my gaze. "Hello there," he said. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. "@Gobstoppers12 and @kingdrake2 said we have a lot in common," he answered. "Thought I'd stop by." "Who are you?" I shouted, white-knuckling the bat. "I'm @AirFresh ." "Why do you look like me?" I started to panic. "Hell if I know, man." "Are you me from like... an alternate universe? What's going on?" AirFresh began to ascend the stairs. "You ask too many questions. Just live in the moment." "I'd love to, Other Me, but I'm a little confused right now," I wiped the sweat from my brow. AirFresh has reached the top of the stairs. "We are not the same," he reassured me in a soothing tone as he eased the bat from my hands. "We may look alike, but we are still individuals. Let me see your hands." He took my hands and turned them over in his own. His hands were soft, but strong. After spotting a scar on his left palm, I couldn't help but yelp, "That scar!" and show him my own. "You have one too," he whispered. "In the same place." "What's going on?!" I cried as I started to pace. "Where did you come from?" "I've always been here," he shrugged. As I paced I wondered how much of our pasts were aligned. Did I fall into some wormhole and end up in his timeline? And why was he so calm? I was freaking out. Suddenly I remembered @KillerKhan420 's branding. That only happened yesterday. If AirFresh got his back sizzled by a molten, raving ballsack, then that would be more proof that we are the same person. I gripped the bottom of my shirt and nodded to him. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He nodded. I turned around and lifted my shirt to reveal the fresh burn. When I looked back to see if AirFresh had the burn as well, I found him with his pants around his ankles. His bare penis rested comfortably on his... shapely, charming nutmeat. "Ah! I.... uh..." I stammered as I lowered my shirt. "Do you like jalapeos? he asked as he put half of one in his mouth. Wordlessly, I approached. I grew closer and closer until I leaned in and bit into the exposed half of the pepper. Our lips brushed as I pulled my half of the jalapeo away. I chewed it, stem and all, and swallowed. "I ate the stem," I told him. "I know," he replied. "Is it okay to eat the stem?" I asked. "Todo est bien, mi amor," AirFresh whispered into my ear. He leaned me against a wall and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't long before we were sloppily making out like we were a couple of teenagers. He pulled my shirt over my head and kissed along my chest. I knelt down and helped his feet out of the pants around his ankles. I grasped his bare penis and made tearful eye contact. "Te amo... Te amo. Cambiaste mi vida." I began to yank him to the rhythm of "O Come All Ye Faithful." Soon we made our way to the shower. AirFresh and I just exploring each other's bodies in the falling water. Still, my thoughts drifted back to earlier. How did he get here? I embraced my lover and whispered, "I just don't understand. I need to understand." He cupped my cheek and answered softly, "We have everything we need right here. Prepara tu ano, mi amor." AirFresh turned me around and bent me over. "Put your hands against the wall." I did as I was told and soon, I was choking again. I know my butthole doesn't breathe, but that same pressure I felt in my throat all those years ago, I felt again in the depths of AirFresh's penetration. With each thrust I felt myself give into him more and more. The rhythmic slapping of his powerful, explosive clackerbag against the back of my thigh may as well have been a metronome. We grunted our way to a beautiful finish line and collapsed on one another on the floor of the shower. "You could have put the stem end in your mouth," I pointed out as I drained. "What?" AirFresh asked, confused. "Just seems kinda rude that you would just make me eat the jalapeo stem is all." "I didn't think you were gonna eat it. I would have just spit it out." "Still, you were gonna make me be the one to have to- nevermind," I gave up. "I just hope I don't get stem flu or something." "There's no stem flu," AirFresh rolled his eyes. "You don't know that, you're not a fucking pepper doctor." We laid entwined on the shower floor until the hot water ran out. We got dressed, he kissed me goodbye and said he hoped he could see me again. I hope so too. Who knows? He might forget to call, but I'll never forget our time together. And I will never forget to thank Jesus Christ every single day for leading @AirFresh to my front door so he could make quick work of my back walls. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Keith_Valentine 01/17/20 2:19:04 AM #58:	Wow. You should write a book and make a fortune. Everyone will want to read it. <cite>Keith_Valentine posted [p:933065628] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Wow. You should write a book and make a fortune. Everyone will want to read it. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Eevee-Trainer 01/17/20 3:15:34 AM #59:	@Kircheis @fire_bolt Not really a cyoa but hell it's something to read --- My Social Server, Eevee's Mystery Dungeon: https://discord.gg/emd My PMD Rescue Server: https://discord.gg/E57gMQq <cite>Eevee-Trainer posted [p:933066802] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>@Kircheis @fire_bolt Not really a cyoa but hell it's something to read </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/17/20 10:42:46 AM #60:	Keith_Valentine posted... Wow. You should write a book and make a fortune. Everyone will want to read it. I appreciate that, but I dont need a fortune. Just enough to get my front door fixed would be enough. Until then, Ill thank Jesus Christ every single day for letting me have a functioning door as long as he did. --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:933077342] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Keith_Valentine posted... </cite> <quote>Wow. You should write a book and make a fortune. Everyone will want to read it.</quote> I appreciate that, but I dont need a fortune. Just enough to get my front door fixed would be enough. Until then, Ill thank Jesus Christ every single day for letting me have a functioning door as long as he did. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
masatofujimoto 01/17/20 10:52:12 AM #61:	Tag --- I can sing a song for you and me, I can make a song for all who feel love. <cite>masatofujimoto posted [p:933077709] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Tag </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Alpha218 01/17/20 10:56:18 AM #62:	This sure is a topic --- I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite user on the Citadel. Mario Maker 2 Maker ID: X6G-JGS-BFG; Dead by Daylight Discord: https://discord.gg/s6gDduM <cite>Alpha218 posted [p:933077868] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>This sure is a topic </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
ChrisTaka 01/17/20 10:57:54 AM #63:	Rip TC's pee pee --- Currently Playing: Flame Crest: Triple Homes <cite>ChrisTaka posted [p:933077940] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Rip TC's pee pee </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
fire_bolt 01/17/20 11:43:50 AM #64:	Eevee-Trainer posted... Not really a cyoa but hell it's something to read Thanks for the heads up! This has been... Entertaining, to say the least --- Please, call me Bolt <cite>fire_bolt posted [p:933079798] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Eevee-Trainer posted...</cite> <quote> Not really a cyoa but hell it's something to read </quote> Thanks for the heads up! This has been... Entertaining, to say the least</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
AirFresh 01/17/20 2:33:41 PM #65:	I feel privledged to be a part of this tale. --- AirFresh - Voted the hottest content creator on The FAQs' #KeepItFresh <cite>AirFresh posted [p:933087259] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>I feel privledged to be a part of this tale. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/17/20 6:12:33 PM #66:	AirFresh posted... I feel privledged to be a part of this tale. Mi amor... tienes mi corazon. --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:933096571] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>AirFresh posted... </cite> <quote>I feel privledged to be a part of this tale.</quote> Mi amor... tienes mi corazon. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SmidgeIsntBack 01/17/20 6:27:55 PM #67:	This was always my favorite part of the Bible, the Book of Assmuff. --- Podcast/Audiobook Board https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/1364- View my ASCII art and others' at https://thenewhotness.info/ <cite>SmidgeIsntBack posted [p:933097223] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>This was always my favorite part of the Bible, the Book of Assmuff. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/18/20 8:44:05 PM #68:	SmidgeIsntBack posted... This was always my favorite part of the Bible, the Book of Assmuff. You humble me. To even be in same discussion as the Saints of The Bible is one of the greatest treasures of my life and Ill thank Jesus Christ every single day that youve said that to me. --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:933148823] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>SmidgeIsntBack posted... </cite> <quote>This was always my favorite part of the Bible, the Book of Assmuff.</quote> You humble me. To even be in same discussion as the Saints of The Bible is one of the greatest treasures of my life and Ill thank Jesus Christ every single day that youve said that to me. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
gamestunner 01/18/20 10:32:42 PM #69:	My wife had done this to me a few years ago. Normally, jalapenos are not too spicy for me. But for some reason the fresh jalapenos at our local Martin's must be genetically enhanced cause those fuckers are HOT. Anyway, she had cooked some up for dinner, and long story short, I was too tired for sex, so she gave me a handy before I went to sleep. That some bitch burned like a motherfucker. She said she washed her hands multiple times, but to no avail. <cite>gamestunner posted [p:933153067] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>My wife had done this to me a few years ago. Normally, jalapenos are not too spicy for me. But for some reason the fresh jalapenos at our local Martin's must be genetically enhanced cause those fuckers are HOT. Anyway, she had cooked some up for dinner, and long story short, I was too tired for sex, so she gave me a handy before I went to sleep. That some bitch burned like a motherfucker. She said she washed her hands multiple times, but to no avail. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HighOnSolar 01/18/20 10:52:40 PM #70:	Alpha218 posted... This sure is a topic --- Surf <cite>HighOnSolar posted [p:933153799] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Alpha218 posted... </cite> <quote>This sure is a topic</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/20/20 3:00:04 PM #71:	gamestunner posted... My wife had done this to me a few years ago. Normally, jalapenos are not too spicy for me. But for some reason the fresh jalapenos at our local Martin's must be genetically enhanced cause those fuckers are HOT. Anyway, she had cooked some up for dinner, and long story short, I was too tired for sex, so she gave me a handy before I went to sleep. That some bitch burned like a motherfucker. She said she washed her hands multiple times, but to no avail. Did you ever even the score? Im trying to think of a way for my bare penis and shriveled, pathetic tater pocket to gain retribution on my sinful hands. --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:933231394] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>gamestunner posted... </cite> <quote>My wife had done this to me a few years ago. Normally, jalapenos are not too spicy for me. But for some reason the fresh jalapenos at our local Martin's must be genetically enhanced cause those fuckers are HOT. Anyway, she had cooked some up for dinner, and long story short, I was too tired for sex, so she gave me a handy before I went to sleep. That some bitch burned like a motherfucker. She said she washed her hands multiple times, but to no avail.</quote> Did you ever even the score? Im trying to think of a way for my bare penis and shriveled, pathetic tater pocket to gain retribution on my sinful hands. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HotLap 01/21/20 11:52:14 PM #72:	Im in the back of a limo. Ive been kidnapped by a Star Market executive. Hes upset about me revealing that the jalapeos there burn bare penises. I dont know whats going to happen to me or when hell --- You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave. <cite>HotLap posted [p:933304120] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Im in the back of a limo. Ive been kidnapped by a Star Market executive. Hes upset about me revealing that the jalapeos there burn bare penises. I dont know whats going to happen to me or when hell </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
inloveanddeath0 01/21/20 11:53:47 PM #73:	HotLap posted... Did you ever even the score? Im trying to think of a way for my bare penis and shriveled, pathetic tater pocket to gain retribution on my sinful hands. Put some capsaicin on your tongue and eat her out. Actually that probably is dangerous --- http://www.last.fm/user/PolarPolaroids <cite>inloveanddeath0 posted [p:933304182] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>HotLap posted... </cite> <quote>Did you ever even the score? Im trying to think of a way for my bare penis and shriveled, pathetic tater pocket to gain retribution on my sinful hands.</quote>Put some capsaicin on your tongue and eat her out. Actually that probably is dangerous </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Shablagoo 01/22/20 1:35:39 AM #74:	Hola, Hi, I chopped jalapeos and then touched my bare penis, soy pap. --- "It was some post on the NFL board that got him." -AwesomeToTheMAX <cite>Shablagoo posted [p:933307222] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Hola, Hi, I chopped jalapeos and then touched my bare penis, soy pap. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
teepan95 01/22/20 1:42:15 AM #75:	Good topic --- Baby, I'm an engineer ;) I can calculate (within a reasonable margin of error) how this nut is gonna splash when it hits ya tiddies <cite>teepan95 posted [p:933307410] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>Good topic</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SmidgeIsntBack 01/22/20 7:42:44 AM #76:	HotLap posted... Im in the back of a limo. Ive been kidnapped by a Star Market executive. Hes upset about me revealing that the jalapeos there burn bare penises. I dont know whats going to happen to me or when hell Stay safe pepper penis/penis pepper --- Podcast/Audiobook Board https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/1364- View my ASCII art and others' at https://thenewhotness.info/ <cite>SmidgeIsntBack posted [p:933313239] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>HotLap posted... </cite> <quote>Im in the back of a limo. Ive been kidnapped by a Star Market executive. Hes upset about me revealing that the jalapeos there burn bare penises. I dont know whats going to happen to me or when hell</quote> Stay safe pepper penis/penis pepper </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
ZevLoveDOOM 01/22/20 7:43:59 AM #77:	you guys sure have a peculiar way to pass the time... <cite>ZevLoveDOOM posted [p:933313268] in Hi, I chop... [t:78328236]...</cite> <quote>you guys sure have a peculiar way to pass the time... </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List	Page List: 1, 2

Current Events > Hi, I chopped jalapeños and then touched my bare penis. (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Hi, I chopped jalapeños and then touched my bare penis.