Current Events > Why is it that men opening up is portrayed as weak and vulnerable

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've heard of girls dumping their BFs/not liking them anymore after they confide in them about something wtf

and people wonder why toxic masculinity is still around

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Man up and deal with it
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"man up" is a sexist phrase because it implies obligation to act a certain way based on gender
it's the male equivalent of telling women "you need to be more lady like"....

many gay, bi, trans people also have a negative history with the phrase as domestic violence victims because it was something used to taunt them and excuse the abuse they endured by tormentors (abusive family members, bullies, bigots, etc)
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I feel like this is becoming less of a problem as time passes. The old-school mentality is dying out

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I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3
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Damn, that was an incredible post

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pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

Dang

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pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

He really nailed that.

I think it's something to do with women possibly having an instinct which requires their partner to be perceived as successful in order for them to maintain attraction. Revealing insecurities has the possibility of diminishing their idea of their partner's value, regardless of whether they are consciously supportive in spite of the insecurity. An expert in this area could verify and explain this with better depth.
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pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

That post is so damn true it's depressing.
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Southernfatman posted...

pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

That post is so damn true it's depressing.

I can certainly vouch for it. I recall a time nearly two years ago when I was feeling especially troubled emotionally for a while. My wife's response when I tried to express it to her was obvious discomfort and growing annoyance and dismissal. Things got really rough and I no longer trust her with any emotional issues I ever feel.

I've never known female friends to have much patience for male emotional distress or vulnerability either.

I've also seen a female coworker divorce her husband because he was having issues with depression after a back injury kept him out of work for a while.

Basically, over the course of years, I've learned that women, even the women who supposedly love you, are not a good place to go when a man is feeling emotionally hurt or vulnerable. That love is always contingent on how well you can support her and that requires you to be emotionally stable.

Because men have no rights advocates.

In my experience, it's usually other guys that shits on guys who are too vulnerable and poking fun at their masculinity by calling them a little bitch and "man up" or the like. But women can also play a role in that woman don't find men who are "weak" or "vulnerable" to be attractive vs a guy who appears "strong" and "strong willed".
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Most men learn from a young age that opening up to women has essentially no benefits and can only hurt you.

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pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

Is this Reddit? This can't be Reddit. I refuse to believe that someone from Reddit made a post this good.
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Esrac posted...

Southernfatman posted...

pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

That post is so damn true it's depressing.

I can certainly vouch for it. I recall a time nearly two years ago when I was feeling especially troubled emotionally for a while. My wife's response when I tried to express it to her was obvious discomfort and growing annoyance and dismissal. Things got really rough and I no longer trust her with any emotional issues I ever feel.

I've never known female friends to have much patience for male emotional distress or vulnerability either.

I've also seen a female coworker divorce her husband because he was having issues with depression after a back injury kept him out of work for a while.

Basically, over the course of years, I've learned that women, even the women who supposedly love you, are not a good place to go when a man is feeling emotionally hurt or vulnerable. That love is always contingent on how well you can support her and that requires you to be emotionally stable.

Well, don't blame women for this, to be fair men don't want to help you either. Its bleak, but the fact is for the most part no one wants to comfort men. If you need help emotionally or mentally either bottle it up or pay someone (therapist typically). It only seems unfair because women typically get emotional and mental support from everywhere, but it can be a double edged sword when the person doing it has ulterior motives.

women aren't emotionally available to help men and here's how that's men's fault

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This is probably one of the reasons I am gay.
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Frizzurd posted...

This is probably one of the reasons I am gay.

Im bi and this is one of the reasons I almost exclusively chase men.
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I remember when Terry Crews opened up about being sexually harassed he was ridiculed and laughed at

Because of shitty gender roles reinforced by society

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CADE FOSTER posted...

I remember when Terry Crews opened up about being sexually harassed he was ridiculed and laughed at

Most people were actually supportive of Terry, in fact he was only being laughed at by other black men like certain rappers and fighters which kind of reinforces what i say about men shaming other men for sgowing emotion or weakness. Some women dont help though either.
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ChrisTaka posted...

pinky0926 posted...

I read a really interesting post on reddit about this. The initial question was from a woman suggesting that men don't perform emotional labour, and a guy laying the smack down in a polite way about all the reasons men don't open up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/?context=3

Is this Reddit? This can't be Reddit. I refuse to believe that someone from Reddit made a post this good.

Reddit is massive. Sure there's a lot of shit but quality posts like this are not uncommon.
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