Current Events > I don't think my gf is cut out for higher education but idk how to discuss that

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Balrog0 10/31/19 1:44:10 PM #1:	with her. It took her like a decade to get her bachelor's, maybe longer. But she took a pay cut to get a job at the university so that she could get discounted tuition for grad school. Only she doesn't actually want to do the work. She's never prioritized her education over anything else in her life the entire time we've been together. She's taking online-only courses, but she got an email today from one of her professors that she hasn't logged into blackboard for weeks and has missed several assignments and a test. Nothing unexpected or unanticipated has happened since school started, she just always says she's too busy at work (she isn't, she is just really bad at prioritizing) and refuses to even think about logging in when she's not at work (which may be fair, we already always eat at like 10 and don't go to bed until like midnight even though she's always late for work in the morning because we don't get enough sleep, but this is all tied into the same problem which is really bad time management) anyway its really putting an unnecessary financial and emotional strain on us. She talks about wanting to get a PhD and be a therapist and stuff but that's never going to happen. I've tried to talk to her about it a few times and I just really dont think it's ever going to sink in. I feel like she'll be in her 50s still trying to get her masters. --- But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. <cite>Balrog0 posted [p:929478342] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>with her. It took her like a decade to get her bachelor's, maybe longer. But she took a pay cut to get a job at the university so that she could get discounted tuition for grad school. Only she doesn't actually want to do the work. She's never prioritized her education over anything else in her life the entire time we've been together. She's taking online-only courses, but she got an email today from one of her professors that she hasn't logged into blackboard for weeks and has missed several assignments and a test. Nothing unexpected or unanticipated has happened since school started, she just always says she's too busy at work (she isn't, she is just really bad at prioritizing) and refuses to even think about logging in when she's not at work (which may be fair, we already always eat at like 10 and don't go to bed until like midnight even though she's always late for work in the morning because we don't get enough sleep, but this is all tied into the same problem which is really bad time management) anyway its really putting an unnecessary financial and emotional strain on us. She talks about wanting to get a PhD and be a therapist and stuff but that's never going to happen. I've tried to talk to her about it a few times and I just really dont think it's ever going to sink in. I feel like she'll be in her 50s still trying to get her masters. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Romes187 10/31/19 1:52:06 PM #2:	thats a tough one good luck <cite>Romes187 posted [p:929478727] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>thats a tough one good luck </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Soggy_Pocket 10/31/19 1:53:33 PM #3:	You have to let her try. --- Eat at the Aloha Snack Bar! Best eats this side of the island! <cite>Soggy_Pocket posted [p:929478804] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>You have to let her try.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Balrog0 10/31/19 1:54:39 PM #5:	Soggy_Pocket posted... You have to let her try. well she has and it isnt working --- But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. <cite>Balrog0 posted [p:929478864] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Soggy_Pocket posted... </cite> <quote>You have to let her try.</quote> well she has and it isnt working </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
electricbugs2 10/31/19 1:56:23 PM #6:	Sounds like youre gonna have to breadwin until shes done then. Clearly not enough hours in the day for her to do both. --- Balenciaga hoodies and Gucci shoes #FreeMelly <cite>electricbugs2 posted [p:929478922] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Sounds like youre gonna have to breadwin until shes done then. Clearly not enough hours in the day for her to do both. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
MC_BatCommander 10/31/19 1:56:48 PM #7:	Idk man I couldn't stay in a relationship like that --- The Legend is True! <cite>MC_BatCommander posted [p:929478938] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Idk man I couldn't stay in a relationship like that</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Bio1590 10/31/19 1:57:09 PM #8:	Maybe you need to let her go --- https://imgur.com/bbRWLI8 https:/i.imgur.com/S1m3po4.jpg https://imgur.com/A0BErSV https://imgur.com/7fCcfko <cite>Bio1590 posted [p:929478957] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Maybe you need to let her go</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Tmaster148 10/31/19 1:57:34 PM #9:	Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible. --- https://imgur.com/BBcZDLJ <cite>Tmaster148 posted [p:929478974] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
thrashmetal14 10/31/19 1:57:43 PM #10:	10 years to get a Bachelor's isnt the end of the world (if you're going part time and avoiding debt/saving money). But ignoring her classes for weeks? Why would anyone pay money to take a class then not do anything? <cite>thrashmetal14 posted [p:929478976] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>10 years to get a Bachelor's isnt the end of the world (if you're going part time and avoiding debt/saving money). But ignoring her classes for weeks? Why would anyone pay money to take a class then not do anything? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Balrog0 10/31/19 1:59:26 PM #11:	Tmaster148 posted... Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible. I can't imagine what you guys think relationships are like --- But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. <cite>Balrog0 posted [p:929479048] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Tmaster148 posted... </cite> <quote>Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible.</quote> I can't imagine what you guys think relationships are like </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
YookaLaylee 10/31/19 2:00:33 PM #12:	You have to let her figure it out on her own. You already said that shes not listening to you so just let her learn from her mistakes --- https://media.giphy.com/media/26gsuNHaqCPgziZYA/giphy.gif <cite>YookaLaylee posted [p:929479094] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>You have to let her figure it out on her own. You already said that shes not listening to you so just let her learn from her mistakes </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Tmaster148 10/31/19 2:01:31 PM #13:	Balrog0 posted... Tmaster148 posted... Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible. I can't imagine what you guys think relationships are like I wouldn't stay in a relationship with a person creating financial burdens for me. --- https://imgur.com/BBcZDLJ <cite>Tmaster148 posted [p:929479125] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Balrog0 posted...</cite> <quote>Tmaster148 posted... </cite> <quote>Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible.</quote> I can't imagine what you guys think relationships are like </quote> I wouldn't stay in a relationship with a person creating financial burdens for me.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Romes187 10/31/19 2:13:06 PM #15:	Tmaster148 posted... I wouldn't stay in a relationship with a person creating financial burdens for me. never get into a relationship then haha <cite>Romes187 posted [p:929479656] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Tmaster148 posted... </cite> <quote>I wouldn't stay in a relationship with a person creating financial burdens for me.</quote> never get into a relationship then haha </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
darkprince45 10/31/19 2:15:05 PM #16:	Tmaster148 posted... Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible. Where are you getting that from --- https://giphy.com/gifs/KanDJzaTMQlePASPwK https://i.imgtc.com/fe9AU9N.gif <cite>darkprince45 posted [p:929479750] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Tmaster148 posted...</cite> <quote>Kinda sounds like you guys really aren't that compatible.</quote> Where are you getting that from</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Flockaveli 10/31/19 2:17:12 PM #17:	I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I could no longer support and believe in. --- I'm in Chicago, I'm shaking my head. <cite>Flockaveli posted [p:929479846] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I could no longer support and believe in.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
emblem boy 10/31/19 2:28:44 PM #18:	Oh man, this is similar to my gf and I. She's pretty much been in school for 10 years and is just now finishing in the next couple months. She had difficulties when younger regarding family issues, depression etc., and she racked up a lot of student debt considering how few credits she ended up getting. So she started an online school about 1.5 years ago. Pretty much a self paced thing where you can take as many classes as you want per term. Honestly, I was quite disappointed in her progress in it and eventually gave her the ability to focus on working part time while she focused on school. It got better, but ehh. She procrastinated a lot and I ended up still writing the few papers she had for her. Then she brought up wanting to do her master's while also working full time and in my head I'm like, "lol wat." Anyway, the point is, ya it's a hard thing to bring up. --- Pitter-patter, let's get at 'er <cite>emblem boy posted [p:929480353] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>Oh man, this is similar to my gf and I. She's pretty much been in school for 10 years and is just now finishing in the next couple months. She had difficulties when younger regarding family issues, depression etc., and she racked up a lot of student debt considering how few credits she ended up getting. So she started an online school about 1.5 years ago. Pretty much a self paced thing where you can take as many classes as you want per term. Honestly, I was quite disappointed in her progress in it and eventually gave her the ability to focus on working part time while she focused on school. It got better, but ehh. She procrastinated a lot and I ended up still writing the few papers she had for her. Then she brought up wanting to do her master's while also working full time and in my head I'm like, "lol wat." Anyway, the point is, ya it's a hard thing to bring up.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 10/31/19 2:31:26 PM #19:	emblem boy posted... Oh man, this is similar to my gf and I. She's pretty much been in school for 10 years and is just now finishing in the next couple months. She had difficulties when younger regarding family issues, depression etc., and she racked up a lot of student debt considering how few credits she ended up getting. So she started an online school about 1.5 years ago. Pretty much a self paced thing where you can take as many classes as you want per term. Honestly, I was quite disappointed in her progress in it and eventually gave her the ability to focus on working part time while she focused on school. It got better, but ehh. She procrastinated a lot and I ended up still writing the few papers she had for her. Then she brought up wanting to do her master's while also working full time and in my head I'm like, "lol wat." Anyway, the point is, ya it's a hard thing to bring up. Wat...that doesnt sound healthy, especially the writing her papers for her part --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:929480477] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>emblem boy posted... </cite> <quote>Oh man, this is similar to my gf and I. She's pretty much been in school for 10 years and is just now finishing in the next couple months. She had difficulties when younger regarding family issues, depression etc., and she racked up a lot of student debt considering how few credits she ended up getting. So she started an online school about 1.5 years ago. Pretty much a self paced thing where you can take as many classes as you want per term. Honestly, I was quite disappointed in her progress in it and eventually gave her the ability to focus on working part time while she focused on school. It got better, but ehh. She procrastinated a lot and I ended up still writing the few papers she had for her. Then she brought up wanting to do her master's while also working full time and in my head I'm like, "lol wat." Anyway, the point is, ya it's a hard thing to bring up.</quote> Wat...that doesnt sound healthy, especially the writing her papers for her part </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
emblem boy 10/31/19 2:37:59 PM #20:	No_U_L7 posted... emblem boy posted... Oh man, this is similar to my gf and I. She's pretty much been in school for 10 years and is just now finishing in the next couple months. She had difficulties when younger regarding family issues, depression etc., and she racked up a lot of student debt considering how few credits she ended up getting. So she started an online school about 1.5 years ago. Pretty much a self paced thing where you can take as many classes as you want per term. Honestly, I was quite disappointed in her progress in it and eventually gave her the ability to focus on working part time while she focused on school. It got better, but ehh. She procrastinated a lot and I ended up still writing the few papers she had for her. Then she brought up wanting to do her master's while also working full time and in my head I'm like, "lol wat." Anyway, the point is, ya it's a hard thing to bring up. Wat...that doesnt sound healthy, especially the writing her papers for her part I mean, I don't like it and I think she should be able to do it herself, or work on. But if it lets her finish the class a bit faster, then I don't know, it's weird. She knows how I feel about it. School is just something she's not about, at all. --- Pitter-patter, let's get at 'er <cite>emblem boy posted [p:929480765] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>No_U_L7 posted...</cite> <quote> emblem boy posted... </cite> <quote> Oh man, this is similar to my gf and I. She's pretty much been in school for 10 years and is just now finishing in the next couple months. She had difficulties when younger regarding family issues, depression etc., and she racked up a lot of student debt considering how few credits she ended up getting. So she started an online school about 1.5 years ago. Pretty much a self paced thing where you can take as many classes as you want per term. Honestly, I was quite disappointed in her progress in it and eventually gave her the ability to focus on working part time while she focused on school. It got better, but ehh. She procrastinated a lot and I ended up still writing the few papers she had for her. Then she brought up wanting to do her master's while also working full time and in my head I'm like, "lol wat." Anyway, the point is, ya it's a hard thing to bring up. </quote> Wat...that doesnt sound healthy, especially the writing her papers for her part </quote> I mean, I don't like it and I think she should be able to do it herself, or work on. But if it lets her finish the class a bit faster, then I don't know, it's weird. She knows how I feel about it. School is just something she's not about, at all.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 10/31/19 2:45:05 PM #21:	emblem boy posted... I mean, I don't like it and I think she should be able to do it herself, or work on. But if it lets her finish the class a bit faster, then I don't know, it's weird. She knows how I feel about it. School is just something she's not about, at all. Something I'm very conscientious about is to never been an enabler of bad behavior. You're giving positive reinforcement for negative behavior --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:929481086] in I don't th... [t:78124333]...</cite> <quote>emblem boy posted... </cite> <quote>I mean, I don't like it and I think she should be able to do it herself, or work on. But if it lets her finish the class a bit faster, then I don't know, it's weird. She knows how I feel about it. School is just something she's not about, at all.</quote> Something I'm very conscientious about is to never been an enabler of bad behavior. You're giving positive reinforcement for negative behavior </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > I don't think my gf is cut out for higher education but idk how to discuss that (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > I don't think my gf is cut out for higher education but idk how to discuss that