Current Events > What would you rather defend yourself against?

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nevershine
04/15/19 2:13:40 PM
1
You're suddenly attacked as you're out for a casual stroll. - Results (49 votes)
2 silverback gorillas
0% (0 votes)
0
5 wild boars
4.08% (2 votes)
2
1 giant hippo
18.37% (9 votes)
9
3 badass lions
0% (0 votes)
0
A swarm of 100 vampire bats
61.22% (30 votes)
30
10 kangaroos
6.12% (3 votes)
3
40 venomous snakes
10.2% (5 votes)
5
Youre armed with only a crudely crafted spear which you just luckily had on you.
Which of these would you be willing to take on?

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MC_BatCommander
04/15/19 2:15:00 PM
2
Your best bet is probably the bats
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averagejoel
04/15/19 2:17:56 PM
3
MC_BatCommander posted...
Your best bet is probably the bats

do vampire bats even attack humans? you could probably scare them off just by yelling loud enough
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Mistere Man
04/15/19 2:18:26 PM
4
The bats would leave you alone for the most part.
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Calwings
04/15/19 2:18:48 PM
5
With the bats, maybe I can run inside somewhere if there's a place nearby. And with the hippo, there's only one of it, so maybe I can get lucky and put the spear right in its eyes or something. But being honest, I'm probably dead no matter which option it is.
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nevershine
04/15/19 2:36:27 PM
6
averagejoel posted...
MC_BatCommander posted...
Your best bet is probably the bats

do vampire bats even attack humans? you could probably scare them off just by yelling loud enough

Lets say in this scenario the bats are craving human blood
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Lost_All_Senses
04/15/19 2:42:35 PM
7
What's the difference between a regular lion and a badass one?
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nevershine
04/15/19 2:44:30 PM
8
Lost_All_Senses posted...
What's the difference between a regular lion and a badass one?

The badass one is more badass
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Lost_All_Senses
04/15/19 2:47:16 PM
9
nevershine posted...
Lost_All_Senses posted...
What's the difference between a regular lion and a badass one?

The badass one is more badass


Like tattoos and a muscle shirts? Hmm. I might be able to trigger some of their insecurities before they kill me
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nevershine
04/15/19 2:48:17 PM
10
Lost_All_Senses posted...
nevershine posted...
Lost_All_Senses posted...
What's the difference between a regular lion and a badass one?

The badass one is more badass


Like tattoos and a muscle shirts? Hmm. I might be able to trigger some of their insecurities before they kill me

Thats actually a p good strategy
---
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averagejoel
04/15/19 3:02:52 PM
11
nevershine posted...
averagejoel posted...
MC_BatCommander posted...
Your best bet is probably the bats

do vampire bats even attack humans? you could probably scare them off just by yelling loud enough

Lets say in this scenario the bats are craving human blood

so I'm reading up on vampire bats.

there are 3 species. only one of them, the Common Vampire Bat, attacks humans and livestock.

Common Vampire Bats' bodies are about the size of a human thumb, and their wingspan is about 8 inches. they also only really attack when the target is unconscious. they also don't suck blood -- they use their teeth to cut open a vein and lap up what oozes out. they usually drink about 1 tablespoon of blood in a half hour, after which they're too engorged to fly.

google tells me there are 32 tablespoons in 1 pint and the average adult human has 9-12 pints of blood. so yeah you'd be in trouble if there were 100 of them and you were unconscious and the only accessible source of food. but outside of that specific scenario (which is very different from the one you described) they wouldn't really pose a threat
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Hairistotle
04/15/19 3:09:08 PM
12
I didn't intentionally miss the point of the topic and assume one of the options was going to be safe (bats)

chose the boars
RiderofHogs
04/15/19 3:14:32 PM
13
Boars. Those are good eating.
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GasMonkey
04/15/19 3:20:47 PM
14
we have to assume these are aggressive and after us.
a swarm of bats might be overwhelming. boars are pretty tough. ill take the kangaroos, spear should take them out easily. but even then its 10 of them
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nevershine
04/15/19 3:21:40 PM
15
RiderofHogs posted...
Boars. Those are good eating.

Username checks out
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BilalPowell
04/15/19 3:22:14 PM
16
1 spear for 1 hippo. Just gotta aim it right.
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Paragon21XX
04/15/19 3:31:27 PM
17
BilalPowell posted...
1 spear for 1 hippo. Just gotta aim it right.

Hippos are more badass than lions. Any predator that had the misfortune of trying to hunt one and survived the encounter will run at the sight of a hippo from then on. You need at least a Barrett M82 to take it down safely: anything less will just piss it and its herd off.
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Hmm...
Aressar
04/15/19 3:32:52 PM
18
Hippo. At least I only have to worry about one big fat target without having to look over my shoulder for another.
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Vindris_SNH
04/15/19 3:33:40 PM
19
100 bats would run from a single human swinging a spear at them. Bats. Easy.
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averagejoel
04/15/19 3:55:07 PM
20
Hairistotle posted...
I didn't intentionally miss the point of the topic and assume one of the options was going to be safe (bats)

chose the boars

bats are significantly less dangerous than the other options
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kirbymuncher
04/15/19 4:01:21 PM
21
definitely bats

second option I guess the hippo since maybe with only one of them it'd be more prone to being scared off? Not that I think that's super likely but better than the rest of my options here
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Gobstoppers12
04/15/19 4:12:36 PM
22
Giant Hippo. I just have to avoid it. Use that human brain to get it caught in a ditch somewhere while it charges like a brainless hippo or something.
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Antifar
04/15/19 4:16:37 PM
23
How fast are snakes? I feel like I could outrun snakes
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Carlbertomfg
04/15/19 4:39:37 PM
24
I could take three lions ezpz but badass lions? Nah man.
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DoGCyN
04/15/19 4:41:59 PM
25
If I'm not surrounded by the snakes, then that. Can literally out-walk a snake.

Otherwise, the bats
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Machete
04/15/19 4:55:18 PM
26
You could probably just back away from the snakes and leave them alone and they will leave you alone. I feel like that's a safe option and mostly there because of people being afraid of snakes a lot.
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garan
04/15/19 4:59:53 PM
27
The bats. I'd let them win so I could turn into a vampire!
CommunismFTW
04/15/19 5:07:39 PM
28
People choosing bats don't take into account that even one of those bastards can swoop in and bite you, or claw, or anything. Assuming 100 are in a frenzy, you're done. Also have fun with rabies.

Chose the boars. I've seen large african boars in person and I think I could just scramble/kick/shove my way out of there barely alive, but alive. No chance against the rest.
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username191
04/15/19 5:19:05 PM
29
To the people saying hippo, I think hippos can run like 35 miles per hour and have killed humans before. I wouldn't want to try a hippo.
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nevershine
04/15/19 5:27:25 PM
30
username191 posted...
To the people saying hippo, I think hippos can run like 35 miles per hour and have killed humans before. I wouldn't want to try a hippo.

Yeah hippos are damn dangerous
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Umbreon
04/15/19 5:32:37 PM
31
People are severely underestimating how easily a hippo would murder you. You couldn't pay me to fight one.
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Shotgunnova
04/15/19 5:34:26 PM
32
I'll try my luck with a hippo.
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Holy_Pumpkin
04/15/19 5:38:05 PM
33
i chose the kangaroos and regret my decision. im probably fucked, yeah? for some reason i figure they wont fuck with me if i poke them with the spear defensively
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FL81
04/15/19 6:04:18 PM
34
kirbymuncher
04/15/19 6:19:01 PM
35
username191 posted...
To the people saying hippo, I think hippos can run like 35 miles per hour and have killed humans before. I wouldn't want to try a hippo.

they've all killed humans before I'm sure

I think anyone choosing hippo would hope they can scare it away or it just stops caring about them, not that they can actually fight them
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stoltenberg11
04/15/19 6:19:24 PM
36
The snakes are most immobile so them
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MC_BatCommander
04/15/19 6:20:38 PM
37
stoltenberg11 posted...
The snakes are most immobile so them


IIRC you can't outrun snakes, if they're actively chasing you you're gonna get wrecked
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awesome999
04/18/19 5:58:23 AM
38
Holy_Pumpkin posted...
i chose the kangaroos and regret my decision. im probably fucked, yeah? for some reason i figure they wont fuck with me if i poke them with the spear defensively

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIRT7lf8byw" data-time="

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Sphyx
04/18/19 6:02:20 AM
39
Assuming they're all aggressive and coming for you relentlessly, my money is on the snakes.
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Kastrada
04/18/19 6:03:35 AM
40
Steve Irwin was afraid to interact with hippos so....just saying......
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apolloooo
04/18/19 6:20:12 AM
41
garan posted...
The bats. I'd let them win so I could turn into a vampire!

I REJECT MY HUMANITY JOJO
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008Zulu
04/18/19 8:25:25 AM
42
I would have to go for snakes. All they can do is kill you. Everything else can defile your corpse.
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Ving_Rhames
04/18/19 8:28:51 AM
43
Hippos can pretty much instantly kill you if they want to. Bats are probably the second worst to deal with, there are too many and they can fly so your spear isnt gonna really do shit to them unlike everything else on this list (cept the Hippo because Hippo is busted). Then Lions. One fuck up against any of those Snakes could be the end of your life so definitely no thanks there.

Ill take my chances with jabbing charging Roos in the head one by one unless they all attack at once.
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nevershine
04/18/19 8:30:31 AM
44
Ving_Rhames posted...
Hippos can pretty much instantly kill you if they want to. Bats are probably the second worst to deal with. Then Lions.

Ill take my chances with jabbing charging Roos in the head one by one unless they all attack at once.

Yep everything will indeed attack all at once in this scenario
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ThisTastesFunny
04/18/19 8:38:23 AM
45
The bats, easily.

1. I love bats.

2. They dont really fuck with people.
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ThisTastesFunny
04/18/19 8:40:11 AM
46
kirbymuncher posted...
username191 posted...
To the people saying hippo, I think hippos can run like 35 miles per hour and have killed humans before. I wouldn't want to try a hippo.

they've all killed humans before I'm sure

I think anyone choosing hippo would hope they can scare it away or it just stops caring about them, not that they can actually fight them


A hippo would fucking ruin a person.
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BlackLynx
04/18/19 9:22:00 AM
47
100 bats. let myself get bit
turn into a vampire
????
profit!!
TetsuoS2
04/18/19 9:46:27 AM
48
Come on guys, Hippos are no joke, Pablo Escobar took some for his private zoo and now Columbia has a problem with wild Hippos.

It's unlikely you can kill a 3000 pound animal with a single spear throw, at least most people.
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ThisTastesFunny
04/18/19 10:32:10 AM
49
TetsuoS2 posted...
Come on guys, Hippos are no joke, Pablo Escobar took some for his private zoo and now Columbia has a problem with wild Hippos.

It's unlikely you can kill a 3000 pound animal with a single spear throw, at least most people.


The things level villages when they go on a rampage. Elephants too.
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HypnoCoosh
04/18/19 10:33:16 AM
50
Boars obviously. They cant get you when your like two feet of the ground.
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