Current Events > CE's Solar System Travel Guide

(+) Yeah! (+)

Sol: As far as white hot spheres of plasma and nuclear explosions go, Sol is actually pretty boring. It's also not exactly a viable tourist destination, unless you're into an "atmospheric" temperature of 5,000,000 kelvin. Fortunately the surface is a relatively balmy 6000 K, for reasons we don't actually understand.

Summary: Too fucking hot. Don't go.

Mercury: The smallest planet, and I would say it's not as boring as that but it actually pretty much is - except for one strange and kind of fascinating thing - it's actually really damn dense. The second densest planet behind Earth (we have a lot of junk in the trunk). Part of the reason why is that Mercury is basically a giant ball of iron. The Earth's core is about 17% of its total volume, but Mercury is somewhere around 50%. Other than that, it's an atmosphere-less hot (and cold) iron ball of boredom.

Venus: By a relatively large margin, Venus is the closest to Earth in size, composition and even proximity. It's also named after the Roman goddess of beauty.

But like that chick in high school who introduced you to Chlamydia, that cute but kind of "not right" exterior gives way to a psychotic, toxic hell hole for which there is no escape, and entering her will only result in a (short) lifetime of pure horror. Despite being farther away from Sol than Mercury, Venus is by far the hottest planet. At 735 K on the surface, Venus is is hot enough to melt lead. But that's only the beginning. If it didn't melt you within seconds upon walking onto the surface, the atmosphere of 100% carbon dioxide results in an atmospheric pressure 90x that of Earth. But that's nothing because the surface of Venus is covered entirely by volcanos. Fortunately, it rains every day. Unfortunately, the rain is sulfuric acid.

Earth: Probably the nicest planet to visit. Mostly harmless.

Mars: Mars is basically the Borderlands 2 or Skyrim of planets. For a while it seemed kind of interesting but it's actually pretty boring and pointless. The only reason we keep going to it is there's really nowhere else to go (thanks, Venus). Basically it's a giant ball of rust (literally) with an atmosphere so thin, it's like standing on Mt. Everest... on top of another Mt. Everest. Bring a pressurized space suit.

Jupiter / Saturn / Uranus / Neptune Welcome to the gas giants. A common misconception is that these planets don't have a surface. They're wrong. What they have is a giant fucking ocean of metallic hydrogen around 11,000 C. Fortunately you'll never get that far because the density of the atmosphere(s) get higher than water well before you get there, so you'd mostly just swim through that part of the atmosphere and would have to "dive" to get lower. The pressures, temperatures and gravity would kill you before that, however. Enjoy the crazy fucking storms on Neptune, though. Wind speeds of 2,200 Km/hr (1,300 mph) will greet you there.

Titan Titan is a pretty cool moon (literally and figuratively). The only moon with an atmosphere (in the Solar System, at least), it has surface oceans of liquid methane and hydrocarbons that behave almost exactly like water. Of all the objects in the Solar System other than Earth, this is the one where the biochemistry is (somewhat) conducive to life existing. By time I finish typing this, Exxon and BP already have ships on the way to suck it dry.
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Hope u guys liked it
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8/10

cuz no Pluto ;(
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Venus rhymes with penis.
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I giggled a couple times

boxington posted...

8/10

cuz no Pluto ;(

Pluto: Way out on the fringes of the Solar System (but occasionally closer than Neptune) is the adorable dwarf planet Pluto. People like to bitch about Pluto's demotion to Dwarf Planet status, but look at this shit:



Pluto is smaller than the Moon ffs.

Also Mercury is pretty small but we'll let it slide because it's not orbiting another planet like a CEman third wheeling on their friend's date.
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I find myself relating to Pluto
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I wish we could teraform venus
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tripleh213 posted...

I wish we could teraform venus

It's just too much of a shithole
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