Poll of the Day > Is disciplinary spanking of children "abuse"??? (In your OWN OPINION)

(+) Yeah! (+)

We were spanked. I don't have a problem with it personally. But everyone learns differently and I think positive re-enforcement is more effective.
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shipwreckers posted...

Jen0125 posted...

Your poll is asking if people think it's abuse. It's not asking about the effects of spanking or whether it's effective. Those are completely different things. If you don't want to believe actual studies just so you can hit your children that is your choice. Hit your children all you want.

Since you're hung up on studies and sources, I suppose we can just can let the sources speak.

Here's some research AGAINST spanking, citing multiple peer-reviewed studies (references at bottom).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids

Here's some research IN FAVOR of spanking, citing multiple peer-reviewed studies (references at bottom).
https://goodparent.org/corporal-punishment/research-on-corporal-punishment/evidence-favoring-the-use-of-disciplinary-spanking/

Scientific American did a good report explaining the complexity.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-science-says-and-doesn-t-about-spanking/

[FROM THE ARTICLE]
"Many experts argue that this form of punishmenthitting a child on the bottom with an open handincreases the risk that kids will develop emotional and behavioral problems. Other scientists counter that research on the issue is fraught with problems, making it impossible to draw black-and-white conclusions. A new meta-analysis addresses several of the most contentious points in the debate and concludes that spanking does pose risks, but differences of opinion persist."

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree regarding the "effectiveness" argument. But at least it's nice to have a bit more perspective on the abuse issue.

If there are peer reviewed studies at all saying that spanking is detrimental to your children why would you want to risk it? Honestly. Why are people so eager to hit their kids? It boggles the mind.
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StoneRevolver posted...

We were spanked. I don't have a problem with it personally. But everyone learns differently and I think positive re-enforcement is more effective.

That's the thing. It's very subjective, and what's effective for one person might be detrimental to another (just like a certain food may be great for one person, but detrimental to another). Nobody's trying to make a blanket-sweep claim one way or the other. As I said back in the OP, this is just basic info-gathering.
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Jen0125 posted...

If there are peer reviewed studies at all saying that spanking is detrimental to your children why would you want to risk it? Honestly. Why are people so eager to hit their kids? It boggles the mind.

I don't think they're "eager" to do it. For most people, it would be a last-resort (at least it should be).

I mean, it would be nice if positive reinforcement was always practical for every situation. Sadly, parents aren't always going to be able to lure their kid away from danger with lollipops and "active listening."
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Jen0125 posted...

You can also hit your kids if you want to.

I'm sure you get some sick pleasure from that.

Jen0125 posted...

No skin off my back.

Except for all the skin your mom slapped off...
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SunWuKung420 posted...

Jen0125 posted...

You can also hit your kids if you want to.

I'm sure you get some sick pleasure from that.

Jen0125 posted...

No skin off my back.

Except for all the skin your mom slapped off...

What?
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Mead posted...

Judgmenl posted...

a 2 year old shouldn't be left alone long enough to be running into a street.

People that say this shit have never had kids. They get into trouble. Kids spend a large portion of their energy trying to discover new ways to hurt themselves. No one can keep their eyes glued to them 24/7

Yeah I went and visited my friend once and he turned to say something to me and immediately his kid took off running tripped and skinned her knee. All in like 3 seconds. I wanted to chew his girlfriend out because she felt it appropriate to cuss him out and make out like he was a piece of shit dad for letting it happen.

Skinned knee isn't that bad but you get the point on it doesn't take long.

Hell with me my mom was shopping and as she went to grab something I head-butted the handle of the shopping cart and broke some teeth.
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Of course Jen is a moral degenerate that supports child abuse. That's not surprising at all .
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Judgmenl posted...

Of course Jen is a moral degenerate that supports child abuse. That's not surprising at all .

What? I'm one of the only ones saying not to spank your kids.

But you have me ignored so you're only reading what people are quoting of me. My comment to sunwu was obviously sarcasm.
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Judgmenl posted...

a 2 year old shouldn't be left alone long enough to be running into a street.

Who said anything about being left alone? Besides as others have said it's impossible to keep a eye on someone 24/7.

Judgmenl posted...

Adults shouldn't be allowed to have 4 or more kids

Providing they pay for them they can have as many as they want. If however they are out of work then yeah they should not create life. Reminds me of a program I briefly watched where this young couple, both unemployed were trying for a baby so they could get handouts.

Judgmenl posted...

Also some people shouldn't breed period because they lack the mental stability required for it.

Agreed. Although rape is a thing so it's not as cut and dry as that.

SunWuKung420 posted...

Lol at people that don't want children and that have terrible relationships with one or both parents, thinking their thoughts on parenting are valid.

This makes zero sense. A person who has had shitty parents have a good example of what not to do. As for one parent being a ass? This doesn't mean the other parent wasn't great. I'd love to read your how to be a perfect parent book though. I bet it's full of useful tips.
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wwinterj25 posted...

This makes zero sense. A person who has had shitty parents have a good example of what not to do.

There's a million ways to be a shitty parent, that's virtually worthless.

wwinterj25 posted...

As for one parent being a ass?

*an

wwinterj25 posted...

This doesn't mean the other parent wasn't great.

The "great" one may be a terrible parent and the shit one may just be strict. Or the shared parenting strategy is bad regardless of the parts, giving misleading information.

wwinterj25 posted...

I'd love to read your how to be a perfect parent book though. I bet it's full of useful tips.

You think his parents were decent? He's a wreck.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

There's a million ways to be a shitty parent, that's virtually worthless.

Not really worthless if you're learning something though.

Kyuubi4269 posted...

*an

A*
A - "used when mentioning someone or something for the first time in a text or conversation." OR "one single; any.".

Kyuubi4269 posted...

The "great" one may be a terrible parent and the shit one may just be strict. Or the shared parenting strategy is bad regardless of the parts, giving misleading information.

If the great one is a terrible parent then they are not the great one. Being strict doesn't equal shit parent too. I think you're just trying to be clever here when you know exactly what I mean. Great parent = The right one, Shit part = the wrong one.

Kyuubi4269 posted...

You think his parents were decent? He's a wreck.

Didn't you know? He's a expert at everything and nobody can hold a candle to his life! We must all worship him.
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I wonder if we can get to 150 votes. Sample size is still only moderate.
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shipwreckers posted...

I wonder if we can get to 150 votes. Sample size is still only moderate.

I had completely forgotten to choose something on the poll thanks for the unintentional reminder.
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My parents spanked me as a child, and I have nothing against them for it. As long as it doesn't go too far, it is acceptable.
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shipwreckers posted...

Jen0125 posted...

There are any number of sources you can look up that show spanking is not effective and is a detriment to children.

But if you want to hit your kids have at it. Some people need an excuse for everything. Effective communication is too hard for some people.

I realize a gamefaqs poll doesn't represent a peer-reviewed study from an ivy-league school, but these "sources" are all in direct contradiction with the information in the very poll above (and this is Gamefaqs we're talking about; which overwhelmingly consists of NON-conservative people). If you look hard enough, you can find "sources" to back up just about anything. But, we're just talking based on everyday, general experiences of the people here. The statistics don't agree with you.

I mean sure, we'd all love to pull off Supernanny's perfect techniques, and most parent's aren't going to lead off with physically whapping a kid. Of COURSE they're going to attempt spoken rebukes first (at least a good parent will make that effort).

Also, if you got genuinely "abused" as a kid (and granted, many kids do), I certainly don't want to minimize that, or defend that by any means. Abuse is horrible. But for every source that says spanking is "bad," I can find just as many saying it's "good." Were it not for the poll being so slanted towards a non-abusive viewpoint, I would say this is a polarizing issue. But it doesn't even seem that polarized. The general consensus (at least so far) seems to be that spanking isn't abusive (and that's coming from people who actually WERE spanked). Ironically, from the people who DO consider it abusive, only a mere 30 percent of them were actually spanked themselves. They must be basing their entire argument on your "sources," because based on actual real-life experience, they have zero point of reference.

Let's not forget that the majority of GameFAQs users are Americans - spanking is much less normalized in Europe, where the practice is actually illegal in most countries (with France and the UK being a notable exception).
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Not at all, the spankings Beth Broderick gave me on the set of Hearts Afire, made me the man you all know today, ok?
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I don't think it's child abuse, but I don't think spanking works.
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InhumaneRaider posted...

I don't think it's child abuse, but I don't think spanking works.

Worked for me. My brother and I did not fight for a really long time and I was a 16 year old before I ever back talked my grandfather again. Pretty much cut all bad behavior until I hit my rebellious teen phase. And not once did I ever resent or fear them over it.
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Yellow posted...

Spanking is a perfectly valid method of discipline for people who actually cannot control a 5 year old without hitting them.

Last resort, physical strength when intelligence is matched.

Are you saying all 5 year olds are dumb? Some are smarter than you already believe it or not. Born with intelligence it is not learned.
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Olld-Onne posted...

Yellow posted...

Spanking is a perfectly valid method of discipline for people who actually cannot control a 5 year old without hitting them.

Last resort, physical strength when intelligence is matched.

Are you saying all 5 year olds are dumb? Some are smarter than you already believe it or not. Born with intelligence it is not learned.

I think he's referring to the intelligence of the parents (as in, they're not intelligent enough to figure out a way of discipline that doesn't involve spanking).

I could be wrong, though.
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shipwreckers posted...

Olld-Onne posted...

Yellow posted...

Spanking is a perfectly valid method of discipline for people who actually cannot control a 5 year old without hitting them.

Last resort, physical strength when intelligence is matched.

Are you saying all 5 year olds are dumb? Some are smarter than you already believe it or not. Born with intelligence it is not learned.

I think he's referring to the intelligence of the parents (as in, they're not intelligent enough to figure out a way of discipline that doesn't involve spanking).

I could be wrong, though.

Or that even if a 5 year old is smart there is a difference between intelligence and giving a fuck. Kids are going to do what they want to do unless the parents find some way to make the understand why they shouldn't and sometimes the kid knowing there will be consequences is what stops them.
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mooreandrew58 posted...

shipwreckers posted...

Olld-Onne posted...

Yellow posted...

Spanking is a perfectly valid method of discipline for people who actually cannot control a 5 year old without hitting them.

Last resort, physical strength when intelligence is matched.

Are you saying all 5 year olds are dumb? Some are smarter than you already believe it or not. Born with intelligence it is not learned.

I think he's referring to the intelligence of the parents (as in, they're not intelligent enough to figure out a way of discipline that doesn't involve spanking).

I could be wrong, though.

Or that even if a 5 year old is smart there is a difference between intelligence and giving a fuck. Kids are going to do what they want to do unless the parents find some way to make the understand why they shouldn't and sometimes the kid knowing there will be consequences is what stops them.

That's true. It's also what makes the condescending comments about parent intelligence so absurd. As PO pointed out earlier, kids are absolutely incapable of abstract thought until they develop critical thinking skills, and the ability for basic empathy (they don't REALIZE the dangers of busy streets, or that hitting others in the head with sticks inflicts pain; they CAN'T).

So, there has to be some sort of negative reinforcement for dangerous / hurtful actions so that the kid associates the bad actions with a negative feeling. Granted, every kid is different, and for some kids, a mere verbal rebuke is sufficient (since they don't like seeing mommy or daddy angry-faced).

But, if you're a reckless kid like I was, who was dense as a bag of bricks when it came to following orders, talking alone wasn't going to cut it. Practicality also makes a difference, because you can't just give a kid a "time-out" when he's being disobedient in a transitory environment (e.g. parking lot, or interstate rest stop during a road trip).
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shipwreckers posted...

mooreandrew58 posted...

shipwreckers posted...

Olld-Onne posted...

Yellow posted...

Spanking is a perfectly valid method of discipline for people who actually cannot control a 5 year old without hitting them.

Last resort, physical strength when intelligence is matched.

Are you saying all 5 year olds are dumb? Some are smarter than you already believe it or not. Born with intelligence it is not learned.

I think he's referring to the intelligence of the parents (as in, they're not intelligent enough to figure out a way of discipline that doesn't involve spanking).

I could be wrong, though.

Or that even if a 5 year old is smart there is a difference between intelligence and giving a fuck. Kids are going to do what they want to do unless the parents find some way to make the understand why they shouldn't and sometimes the kid knowing there will be consequences is what stops them.

That's true. It's also what makes the condescending comments about parent intelligence so absurd. As PO pointed out earlier, kids are absolutely incapable of abstract thought until they develop critical thinking skills, and the ability for basic empathy (they don't REALIZE the dangers of busy streets, or that hitting others in the head with sticks inflicts pain; they CAN'T).

So, there has to be some sort of negative reinforcement for dangerous / hurtful actions so that the kid associates the bad actions with a negative feeling. Granted, every kid is different, and for some kids, a mere verbal rebuke is sufficient (since they don't like seeing mommy or daddy angry-faced).

But, if you're a reckless kid like I was, who was dense as a bag of bricks when it came to following orders, talking alone wasn't going to cut it. Practicality also makes a difference, because you can't just give a kid a "time-out" when he's being disobedient in a transitory environment (e.g. parking lot, or interstate rest stop during a road trip).

Apparently when I was younger than I can remember I was a violent kid. Mom said she had to beat that outta me. (She said she was smacking me on the back of the leg) every time shed hit me I'd hit her back and it kept up until apparently it started to get too sorry for my tastes and it was obvious she wasn't backing down.

Apparently I had been attacking babysitters to the point she couldn't keep one.
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shipwreckers posted...

Olld-Onne posted...

Yellow posted...

Spanking is a perfectly valid method of discipline for people who actually cannot control a 5 year old without hitting them.

Last resort, physical strength when intelligence is matched.

Are you saying all 5 year olds are dumb? Some are smarter than you already believe it or not. Born with intelligence it is not learned.

I think he's referring to the intelligence of the parents (as in, they're not intelligent enough to figure out a way of discipline that doesn't involve spanking).

I could be wrong, though.

Yellow said matched intelligence. So either the 5 year old is stupid like the parent that is beating them or they are both intelligent and the parent is still beating them. Garbage English is garbage English period.

mooreandrew58 posted...

Or that even if a 5 year old is smart there is a difference between intelligence and giving a fuck. Kids are going to do what they want to do unless the parents find some way to make the understand why they shouldn't and sometimes the kid knowing there will be consequences is what stops them.

I knew at five it was wrong to hit anything for no reason and that was my own opinion, not forced. Not all children are as mindless as you think they are. They may lack some experience but they are people already. Especially at that age.

I have seen five year olds outsmart their own parents and the parents did not even know because they are only five and cannot possibly be able to do that so they think anyway. That is why there are ten year olds that can do maths equations you probably would never be able to do me included even. You are born with your Intelligence otherwise everyone would be apart of Mensa at some point if it was just learned.
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Spanking is fine as long as a parent isn't angry it doesn't cause permanent damage and they don't keep spanking them even when they're reaching their teens. If they understand well enough getting their video game taken away is good enough punishment then they don't need to be spanked

dioxxys posted...

Spanking is fine as long as a parent isn't angry it doesn't cause permanent damage and they don't keep spanking them even when they're reaching their teens. If they understand well enough getting their video game taken away is good enough punishment then they don't need to be spanked

With my kids, I found a far more effective punishment was letting them keep their games...

...But I took the chargers away.

I would only give them their chargers back when they calmed down, apologised and at least pretended to know why what they did was bad.

However, I would never punish them with things like erasing their save data, that is just cruel and inhumane.

I have base saves that I literally spent over 100 hours making and I would go crazy if someone deleted it.

No dessert usually just ended up with them throwing a bigger tantrum and they just snuck out to the shops and bought something sweet with their pocket money, so flat out saying they couldn't have any was a pointless punishment to them.

Though in theory, I'm not against spanking or other forms of physical punishment, but there's quite a few factors going into for if it is or isn't an effective method.

dioxxys posted...

Spanking is fine as long as a parent isn't angry it doesn't cause permanent damage and they don't keep spanking them even when they're reaching their teens. If they understand well enough getting their video game taken away is good enough punishment then they don't need to be spanked

My mom was bad at spanking more out of anger, but my dad spanked more out of love. My dad would always sit down with me after words and give me the "You know I only whoop ya cause I love ya!" talk, and try to explain that he hated spanking me.

But, even with my mom, it still never felt like hateful abuse. She only spanked me when I had indeed earned it.
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Kenneth_Writer posted...

However, I would never punish them with things like erasing their save data, that is just cruel and inhumane.

I have base saves that I literally spent over 100 hours making and I would go crazy if someone deleted it.

Seriously, that would be downright diabolical.

o_O
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