Board 8 > Board 8 Wrasslin' League: A solo-tabletop-game-based interactive wrestling thing

(+) Yeah! (+)

(....came up with a better name, but am failing to come up with an opening post for the new character or new mashup, so sod it this is what's happening now. also flashing light warning)

???: "G-g-g-Greetings, combatants."

A camera turns on, showing CPU in a dark, empty room backstage, in a overlarge chair, face down not looking at it.

???: "I do not believe the majority of you care a-a-a-a-about the details, for you have your own cOnCErns... your OWN FeuDS, your own PRoblEms. So WE wiLL gEt to the POInt."

The room's backlight comes on, revealing a bunch of TV screens behind the chair. ....CPU's head sags.

???: "If you rEMeMBEr, we are now in POsessioN of the man that used to BE NAMED the UNDerTAKEr's urn.... or... phylactery, as it turns out. IT TURNS OUT... that a sOUL container does not mix with one whose BODY is enhanced by supernaturnally scientific MEANS.... at least not.... well. Specifically what is.... human, does not hold."

CPU slides off the chair, or.... his... flesh, does, leaving a shiny, largely metallic mess, with some bone still intact. The Metalliskeleton does not stir otherwise.

???: "As you see. For your intents and purposes... the Underwood hack is... once again.... DECeaSED. Our memories show that this is not UNUSUAL for him, when he has run OUT OF ideas. As such, he is no longer important to your work, if he ever was. WE. HOWEVER. CONTINUE."

(Cue SHODANish reveal of a circuited... weeping face.)

"While his.... coMRADES will potentially MISs him in spirit, his prowess wilL nOT vaNISh. You HAve our WORD, WE WILL KEEP TO HIS CONTRACT THIS TIME, EVEN AFTER his undoing. AnD unLiKE him... WE WILL have a purpose. WE WILL HAVE A plan."

The screen flashes, once.

"WE ARE ECHO. OUR TIME WILL COME."

The face vanishes, the body begins to rise, and the camera cuts, leaving only background music behind. (

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAKQ13m452o" data-time="&start=123)

(....I am not proud of or happy with this at all, but it's a.... start, at least. ._.' Also I promise the text thing will stop from this point on, but you get the gist of the speech patterns I think. ._.''')

*Elsewhere*

CPU: *With a pounding headache* "...Gah... I open that damned urn to seem what's inside, and... where the hell am..."
???: "Hey, you. You're finally awake."
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/BAmdIXn3cUw/maxresdefault.jpg
CPU: ".....DAMN YOU TO HELL, TODD HOWARD. DAMN YOU-"
---

I JUST KICKED TODD HOWARD!

*no purge*
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(good job, Strife, Todd Howard's somehow managed to port Skyrim to everyone's feet now)
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I won't play it, so my feet will be safe.
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(bump)
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(April is gonna be heckin' terrible for updates but after that business should pick up a bit)
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(....it's stuck in my head so now it's stuck in YOUR heads too. also bump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj9u6SGB_GY" data-time=")
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(https://rave.dj/D0OiqNU4Zy2OJg)
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soon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suJU0l0KFtM" data-time="
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B8WL PRESENTS IMPLOSION

....I had the update started and then I had the bright idea to click on the pic from CPU's promo and lost it >_> Cliff's notes!

-David hosted Bowser, who was a jerk. David whacked him with a mic and they're gonna have a grudge match (again) once David is cleared for action.

-Bang d. Kenshin very quickly with a flash rollup. Blackthorn Dalinar suspects Kenshin does not have THE THRILL~~~

-Taker is the American Badass again! He beats Truth with relative ease to retain the UCA Title, after David foils a runin attempt from the rest of the MLMF.

-Striker points out that MLMF have trouble getting it done when it counts, and Truth yells at him on his way to the back.

-HARDCORE TITLE: Champion Bowser v. King Maniac64
Maniac decides it's a good idea to turn his back on Bowser to greet the crowd, and gets beatdown with a chair for his trouble. Retreating to the outside, Maniac appropriates a special commemorative Implosion chair and retaliates! It is more padded than Bowser's chair, but it is much more collectible and stylish, and can be yours for only $300 on B8WLShop.com! Unfortunately, Bowser just powers through it and suplexes Maniac on the floor! Bowser finds an ironing board under the ring, and tees off on Maniac's head! Cover! 1....2.....3!
Winner and STILL Hardcore Champ: Bowser

-Miz comes out to check on Maniac, but mainly to raise Bowser's hand and celebrate a bit.

-Mastery of Taybles and Chair on a Pole: Mario (c) and Sonic v. Eddv and Kora
So this one is a chair on a pole match, but with a side pot that the Mastery of Taybles will also be on the line for the first time somebody gets Taybled. Mario opens with a Hip Drop on Kora, after warning the ref to keep an eye on the ruffians. Kora shrugs it off and batters Mario back...only for Mario to hot tag Sonic. Sonic lands a flurry of blows, culminating in a dropkick to the corner. Sonic retrieves the chair and clobbers Kora all over the ring with it, but Kora manages a HOT TAG to Eddv. Eddv elbows Sonic, causing him to drop the chair, and then tags back to Kora. Kora hits a running kick to the midsection, then throws Sonic through the ropes...and through a ringside TAYBLE, winning the MoT!

Kora puts Sonic in the Sharpshooter on the outside until the ref breaks it up. Both competitors return to the ring, but Sonic ducks a charge and gets a HOT TAG. We like hot tags in this game, okay? Mario flies into the ring with some sorta springboard hip attack...cover! 1....2....3!
Winners: Mario and Sonic (but Kora wins MoT)

-Connor McGregor points out that Mario and Sonic won the match, but Kora has their title now, so who's the REAL winner?

-Flair is caught watching NETFLIX backstage! Isn't he supposed to be tangentially against Scare?

-GRUDGE MATCH: ScareChan w/Cena v. Pentagon, Jr.
Cena hits a tope on Penta before the match, just because he (apparently) can. Doesn't slow Penta down TOO much though, as he opens with a nice rana and a flip legdrop. Penta's pissed today, and whips Scare shoulder-first into the post. Penta jabs a thumb in Scare's eye, then goes after Cena on the outside! Low blow on Cena! That'll show him, I guess. Penta gets back in the ring and ties up with Scare, but Cena runs in and breaks it up! It will officially go in the books as a double DQ, since Penta attacked Cena first after the bell.

-Cueto is displeased, and tells Cena to settle down, but Cena doesn't want to hear it! He's got a match now, no matter how many tyrants and bullies want to get in his way!
---

-Rock is backstage. He and Cena go way back, and Rock is proud to call him a friend. That won't be in their way tonight, though, because this is for the title. Rock's secret plan? Not being remotely scared of that puny AA of Cena's.

-B8WL CHAMPIONSHIP: John Cena (c) v. The Rock
We start out with boxing, and Cena enjoys an advantage until Rock just takes him down and slaps on the Sharpshooter! Cena powers out of it before too long, but Rock just puts it back on! Cena gets to the ropes this time, and while Rock protests the rope break, gets in a DDT! Both men are down....Rock goes to the Sharpshooter AGAIN! This time Cena gets out with some elbows to the kidneys, followed by a kick that looked a bit south of the border. Cena into the ropes, but gets flapjacked. Rock goes for a cover, but only gets 1. Rock does the Five-Knuckle Shuffle! Cover doesn't even get 1 this time. Cena trips Rock....STF! Rock...almost taps, but gets to the ropes. He charges in, and here come the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM...and there's the AA! 1.....2.....3!
Winner and STILL champion: Cena

-We have a moment of tension after the match, but then Rock hugs Cena and raises his hand.
---

Our next PPV will be EXILE! You must put your career on the line to challenge for a title! ((I'll try to steer it away from having any b8ers take that gamble unless you tell me otherwise >_>))

This cycle, you may nominate two celebrities!

Show 31
David hosts
Maniac v. Mundo
Eaed v. Flair
Mario+Sonic+Strife v. ECHO+Truth+Eddv
Panth v. Bryan
UCA: Taker (c) v. Bang
Cena+Rock+Scare v. Penta+Bowser+Kora
---

I am the man with tayble mastering abilities
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Uh oh flashback Dalinar is here.
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(....i am still honestly shocked that people actually willingly read my dumb bullshit ^_^'')
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(also celebrity-wise: Subaru Kuj in honor of Sakura Wars coming back and one of the two reasons I bought a Wii. (the other one is Trauma Team) and considering the direction I'm going to fail in going in Kyoji Kamiya from Hell Night for the PS1. you may say they don't count as celebs, but this is what you get when I'm one of the maybe two people that nominates celebrities)
---

(....Thankfully for everyone here, I did not discover the cicada that yells AWWWW YEAHHHHH until today. If I heard about it earlier I would be introducing HYPE CICADA to be an intro for the MLMF theme now. ....If I could find it anywhere OTHER THAN TWITTER that might still be happening but no)
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huzzah
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ECHO: "I CAN SEE INSIDE YOUR DREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS, sinewpouch."
Intern: (Backs away, slowly)
ECHO: "Get back here, so I can feast upon your future, and devour your orifices."
Intern: (Promptly begins running)
ECHO: "...Maybe I should design myself a synthetic body for combat and chase purposes, since the CPUMorph ate itself after I made it hungry."
---

(....if I could figure out how to put mp3s up here I might start doing theme things with audio cutting and joining. i don't know why either)
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on the home stretch of heck month!!
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we might just make it
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Monday is about 95% certain
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the other 5% is depression

another chance tomorrow
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(OOC hug)
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Can already tell today is probably another miss

Next chance is Friday
---

I have returned from the void

Show #32

-Davidponte is here with special guest Uncle Kracker, whom I have absolutely zero idea how to write, but he's a heel. He goes off on recent negative media coverage, talking over David when he tries to calm him down. David didn't want to have to resort to this, but challenges him to a RAP BATTLE. It never really finishes, because at the end of david's first verse, he drops "I'm the greatest you'll ever see in your life/ Maybe that's why I've been going out with your ex-wife," at which Kracker's ex appears and leaves with David. Destroyed, or something.

-Bryan storms into Cueto's office. They were working together to take down Cena, and now he's not even booked for Implosion? Cueto calmly responds that Bryan let him down, and let the B8WL down. He's going to give Bryan a few weeks to think about his failures....by suspending him until after Exile!

-Match: King Maniac v. Johnny Mundo
Mundo's speed is tough to deal with early on, but Maniac eventually just gets mad and brawls him. The match goes to the mat, and Maniac gets him with a series of suplexes.
Winner: Maniac

-Maniac complements Mundo's technique, but Maniac wanted it more today. Eaed is with him, and he may be from the future, but he's excited to fight a legend of the past!

-Match: eaedwards v. Ric Flair
That legendary status seems to have earned Flair a bit of leniency from the ref, and he is able to pull out all his tricks. Eaed rallies back with a series of shots to the head. Flair almost gets him with a sucker rollup, but Eaed escapes. Eaed charges, but Flair catches him with a trip...and slaps on the Figure Four! Eaed's got nowhere to go....and eventually taps!
Winner: Flair

-Eaed goes for a handshake, but Flair brushes his hair instead! Rude.

-Match: Mario w/Peach, Sonic, and Strife v. Men of Low Moral Fiber (ECHO, Eddv, and Truth w/Caelus)
The announce team wonders what's going to happen with Panth's scheduled match against the now-suspended Bryan- Vampiro posits that nobody cares. The match quickly degenerates into a brawl, and Caelus makes his presence felt with a bottle to Strife's head. ...It doesn't slow the faces down much, though, as Strife tanks it and tags out to Sonic, beginning a long string of face offense. ECHO gets the worst of it. ECHO soaks a ton of damage, but a slap to the face from Peach into a rollup eventually does him (...it?) in.
Winners: Mario Team

-....But we're not done here. Truth is still fresh after never actually getting in the match, and Kora's here too. MLMF overwhelm the faces and begin a brutal beatdown of Mario in specific, braining him with the Mastery of Taybles (...what IS it, anyway? A belt? A cup? I never thought to specify) before putting him through the announce table! Mario has to be stretchered out.

-Match: Panthera v. M. Bison
Bison replacing Bryan is seen by the announce team as a letdown. Panthera brings some stuffed dogs to ringside, and lets the ref pet them. Bison makes the mistake of punting one of them, and Panthera lays into him. Unfortunately, Panthera crotches himself going for the top rope. Bison shakes the rope, but gets a warning from the ref. As the match continues, Panthera lays out Bison with a beautiful suicide dive, but can't quite get him back in the ring to finish the deal. Bison eventually finds his feet, and whacks Panth a couple times with a chair! That'll do it.
Winner: Bison
---

I like to imagine the MoT is a title similar to the old hardcore title where it's just pieces of table stuck to a strap.
---

-UCA Title Match: The Undertaker (c) v. Bangladesh DuPree w/Mundo
Bang admires ABA Taker's sweet chopper, and they almost start bonding over it before she remembers she's about to fight. Tie up....Last Ride off the bat, geeze. Old School follows....twice in a row. Taker might be getting a bit senile. Taker chases Bang to the outside...and ECHO shows up to get in a cheap shot! Slows Taker down long enough for Bang to catch him with a big slam. Taker shakes it off, though, and lands a chokeslam! Mundo tries to intervene but gets clocked....setting Bang up for a thunderous suplex! Taker's OUT, man. Bang crows for a bit, and goes f-HELL'S GATE. Bang taps right out!
Winner and STILL Champ: Taker

-Sonic is upset that Mario got taken out. He's gotta....go fast.

-Cena, Rock, and Scare get a little shoot-y as they talk about how they have to assemble the whole rogue's gallery against them just to provide decent opposition!

-Match: B8WL Champ Cena/Rock/Scare v. MoT Kora/Penta/Bowser
Penta kicks the snot out of Rock for a bit, as Cueto comes to ringside. Rock fights back....and Cueto immediately calls for the bell! Rock had a closed fist...so he's DQ'd! Cueto is feeling pissy tonight....but so is Cena! If they're gonna stack the deck against him like this, why doesn't he just take on Penta....Title v. Career, at Exile! Cueto likes this idea, but one more thing...MLMF run in! Truth bloodies Rock, in particular.
Winners by (questionable) DQ: Penta team
---

Always assumed the MoT was some sort of table belt that people carried around. Brass or some sorta heavy metal.
---

Show 32
David hosts
Eaed v. Penta
??? v. Flair
HARDCORE TITLE: Bowser (c) v. Maniac
Non-title: Cena v. Truth
GRUDGE: Taker+Kenshin v. Bang+Mundo
Sonic+Scare+Strife v. ECHO+Kora+Eddv

SHOW 33: EXILE

GRUDGE TITLE v. CAREER: Cena (c) v. Penta

FUTURE
GRUDGE: David v. Kenshin
David v. Bison
GRUDGE: Bowser v. David
---

My character has peaked
---

(....david, I'm sorry but 'my character has peaked' in a segment with uncle kracker in it really makes me wanna sad hug you ;-;)

ECHO: *Stares at Peach.* "...You again."

Peach: *Pissed but smug.* "Peachy got you, *bitch*."

ECHO: *Glares* "...And here I was about to apologize for the MLMF's causing your oversized flesh appliance's excessive leakage. I *do* hope that the repairs won't take too long, nonexistence knows that he'll be missed while he is gone."

Peach: "Mario will be fine, he always is." *Peach smirks.*

ECHO: "Ah, that's good to hear, miss." *The screen enlarges.* "...And you? WIll you be alright without him to pro-" *ECHO pauses, clearly angry at itself.* "Sincere apologies, I was about to be very sexist. The CPUMorph had seen you perform in that 'Smash' federation."

Peach: "I'm fairly competent in combat myself.* (*Says the apparent S-Tier in Smash Ultimate) Why, do you want to try yourself against a *real* opponent?" *Smuuuuuuug smirk.*

ECHO: "Yes, actually." *Glares.*

Peach: "Well, then, we can have a word with your boss and see how that goes then."

ECHO: "....You are not afraid? I have not seen you desire to engage in fisticuffs here willingly?"

Peach: "Have you chronicled my part in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door? I have-"

ECHO: "Of course not, I do not have the time to play such trifling things. The CPU Insect from whence I burst forth from didn't have the time to waste on a mediocre GC RPG evidentally."

Peach: "If you play it you will under- *MEDIOCRE?!*"

ECHO: "Yes, 'Baten Kaitos', 'Skies of Arcadia: Legends' and 'Mega Man X Command Mission' are also on it according to the database I have of his memories, he evidentially did not see the point of playing something that only had name recognition going for it."

Peach: "....We will discuss this further later."
---

My character's entire existence so far has been pretty sad, to be fair.
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(True, but there's 'sad' and 'peaked in kindergarten' sad ;-;)
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(what would being the punkEE in that situation be, then)
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tonight is possible, but a very long shot
tomorrow is a bit of a long shot
so are Sat and Sun
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SHOW 32

-David is here to let us know he'll be medically cleared after Exile! The fans rally behind the idea of him doing something besides trading barbs with Uncle Kracker. He brings out his guests for tonight, Bangladesh DuPree and Johnny Mundo! They've got a match tonight against Taker and Kenshin, but they want to UP THE ANTE. If they lose, they have to wear matching fluffy ballroom gowns, but if they WIN, Taker's going to have to come to the ring on a tricycle, and Kenshin has to wear a diaper!

-Match: Eaed v. Penta
Eaed stops on the entry ramp to bicker with BOB SAPP, who insists that it's BOB SAPP TIME. More accurately, though, it's Penta time, because the #1 Contender jumps Eaed from behind off the distraction. It's back and forth for a lot of the match- Penta is fast and angry, but Eaed has him well-scouted and gets the crowd going for him. Penta low blows Eaed! ...and rolls him up for the three.
Winner: Penta

-Penta just starts demolishing ringside, trashing everything he can lay his hands on! He's going to rip John Cena apart just like this! CERO! MIEDO!

-Match: Flair v. ???
Flair styles and profiles down the aisle, but right as he's gearing up for a WOOO of epic proportions...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gq-uEtyQ2U" data-time="
It's....it's @MajinZidane , here in B8WL to take on the Nature Boy! He's got Slime with him! Boko gives as good as he gets, shrugging off a series of chops and retaliating with one of his own. Flair shoves Boko into the ref, knocking him down. Flair snags a chair and beans Boko with it, then follows up with a chair-assisted elbow drop before the ref comes to! Flair manages to hit the ref with the Boko a second time, but this time Boko doesn't stay down long enough to capitalize. Boko rallies with a Chocobo Kick, but Flair withstands it...and gets the Figure Four! Boko taps!
Winner: Flair

-Bison is interviewed about Penta/Cena. Mean Gene seems to favor Cena, but Bison maintains that the day that Penta wins his title back will just be a Tuesday. (or whatever day I actually play Exile)

-HARDCORE TITLE: Bowser (c) v. Maniac
Bowser just falls on Maniac to start, then dropkicks him out of the ring. Van Daminator from Bowser, dang. Maniac goes under the ring as Bowser gloats, then gets him with a freakin' BLOWTORCH. Bowser is resistant to fire, but still! Maniac goes for a lariat, but Bowser flips him through the Spanish announce table. Bowser gets Maniac's leg in a grapevine, then calls for his posse! A bunch of Goombas storm ringside! Maniac tries to fight them off, but there are just so many....they swarm him and drag him up the ramp, still fighting. He doesn't manage to break away from the small army, and disappears into the back as Bowser simply watches. That's....a win, I guess?
Winner(ish) and still champ: Bowser

-Bowser admits that Maniac is strong....that's why he had a swarm of minions take him out! Mwahaha!

-Cena's backstage to hype up B8WL 2020, coming soon from Grey Dog Software! ...The Angry Video Nerd isn't buying the hype, and yells about the superiority of Fire Pro. He gets an AA.
---

Clearly I need minions
---

-Non-title: Cena v. Truth
Cena initially struggles with Truth's quickness, but eventually catches him with a Springboard Stunner, really waking up the crowd. He throws in another couple for good measure! Truth dodges a 5-Knuckle Shuffle, kips up....and runs right into an AA. Good night, Irene.
Winner: Cena

-Cena says he's got no time for small fry like MLMF when a career-defining match with Penta is next week!

-Wreck-it Ralph thinks a ballgown might look nice on Bang, but he doesn't know about that Mundo guy. The heels are in earshot and it's hard to tell who's more offended.

-DOUBLE GRUDGE HUMILIATING COSTUMES MATCH: Taker and Kenshin v. Bang and Mundo
Kenshin starts against Mundo, and hits Ryukansen before tagging out. Mundo bounces back with Moonlight Drive on Taker, tag to Bang. Taker's up quick, but Bang pokes him in the eye and tags out. Mundo gets a spinebuster, tag to Kenshin. Lotta fluidity today! Kenshin charges into a knee, and Mundo brings Bang back in. Kenshin reads a discus punch, and instead hits Ryushosen! One more of those, then a tag to Taker. Mundo berates Kenshin- Bang is clearly hurt! She slides out of the ring, and Mundo looks to the back for backup...out comes Flair! He's taking Bang's spot, I guess. Taker expresses his opinion on this subject by chokeslamming Flair for a quick two-count. Tag made to Kenshin, who gets a sucker punch for his trouble. Tag to Mundo, and a quick doubleteam stompfest. Flair gets into an argument with the ref....who decides he's had enough, and ejects him from the match! It's a 2-on-1 now! TNA! TNA! ....then Mundo hits a Moonlight Drive and wins anyway.
Winner, singular: Mundo

-The faces are pretty upset, but they are men of their word. Get ready for Diapers!Kenshin and the American Bad Heinie!

-MLMF are tired of being looked down on. Last week they took out Mario AND Rock! This week, they're winning in the main event. Next week, who knows how far they'll go at Exile?

-Match: Sonic/Strife/Scare v. MLMF (ECHO/Kora/Eddv)
Match barely has time to start when Scare gets the tag and ground and pounds Eddv, declaring that he's not Unbreakable! He doesn't stop for the ref....and gets DQ'd! What a lame main event!
Winners by DQ: MLMF

-Sonic is pretty pissed at this, so y'know what? At Exile, he's putting his career on the line to challenge Kora! Mastery of Taybles is just a side benefit to getting his hands on MLMF! This appears to play right into their hands, but Sonic's too MAD to think clearly.
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(....this sounds unbelievably mean but Sonic still has a career? That's like saying I have a healthy sense of self-worth)
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(nobody said it had to be a VALUABLE career)

SHOW 33: EXILE
Rock hosts
Maniac v. ???
Panthera v. Bison
HC v. CAREER: Bowser (c) v. Kenshin
UCA v. CAREER: Taker (c) v. Mundo
MOT v. CAREER: Kora (c) v. Sonic
GRUDGE TITLE v. CAREER: Cena (c) v. Penta

FUTURE
GRUDGE: David v. Kenshin
David v. Bison
GRUDGE: Bowser v. David
---

DQ...lame
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('that's what happens when primarily UCA talent is in the main event as far as I've seen'
(On the other hand:

ECHO-2: "Why did the ghost's dessert come back when he threw it?"

Bang: "...Why?"

ECHO-2: "It was a boo meringue!"

Bang: *Pulls out chainsaw*

ECHO-2: *Unplugs herself*)
---

Sonic has gotta go fast...TO THE RETIREMENT HOME!!!

Totally got him.
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bump/tag/jamming to ffv chocobo music
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https://rave.dj/oavPGVAkfzJqRQ

get hype
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SHOW 34: EXILE

-Rock is here to host Bang and Mundo. Mundo is feeling confident that he will survive to take TrikeTaker's UCA Title tonight. When pressed on Flair's involvement in the match last week, they deny any collusion with him- he was acting on his own and almost got them screwed over. Bang is getting restless waiting for the big match tonight and wants to blow off some steam. She issues an OPEN CHALLENGE for right here right now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAuf-W3Z_os" data-time="

THE MIZ comes out! He's been impressed by Bang and Mundo's work lately, and is looking forward to Mundo/Taker. But he never quite forgave Mundo for contributing to his early retirement...so he'll take this chance to dust off the boots and step back in the ring with Bang! (Fun fact: this is exactly when he would've returned to the active roster if we had voted to keep him around)

-Match: Bangladesh DuPree w/Mundo v. The Miz
Miz clocks Bang with the mic, and Bowser runs in on Mundo, taking him out of the equation! ...But Bang dropkicks Bowser into the cameraman, evening the score for now. After a bit more, Taker comes out (on a tricycle, true to the deal) and distracts Bang, giving Miz the upper hand. Despite all that, the rust is starting to show on the assistant GM, and Bang is just a bit too fast and strong, getting the win with a big lariat.
Winner: Bang

-Bison comes out and high fives Bang, then they put the boots to Miz a bit more!

-Maniac is in the ring to await a MYSTERY DEBUT OPPONENT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cknDA_tyQcE" data-time="

ZANGIEF is here in B8WL! He is pleased to have Comrade Maniac for strong wrestle.

-Match: King Maniac v. Zangief
...Comrade Maniac is strong wrestle, and squashes Zangief, culminating by straight up powering him down in a test of strength and suplexing him for a three. Eaed joins Maniac in a Russian victory dance.
Winner: Maniac

-Match: Panthera v. M. Bison
The announcers are unsure that Panth can do better this time than a couple shows ago, but at least no puppies have been kicked yet. Panth gets a big ol' shine at the start, kicking the former UCA champ around. Unfortunately, the ref gets bumped by a stray lariat, and Bison takes advantage to sneak in a blast of Psycho Power! That ain't legal, but the ref is busy being dead, and Bison is able to get the win.
Winner: Bison

-While Bison is busy beating old foes over and over, he might as well beat up Eaed again one of these days! He gloats about his power, but Panthera recovers and hits the Pounce on him!

-EXILE: Bowser (Hardcore Title) v. Kenshin Himura (Career)
Kenshin must come out in a diaper, which is perhaps his reasoning for putting his career on the line in a last attempt at salvaging some pride. Bowser mocks him for a while before the bell. Bowser charges straight at Kenshin and crushes him into the corner! Kenshin is squashed in more ways than one! Cover! 1.....2....3!
Winner: Bowser
---

(ECHO would like to tender it's resignation because the bookers are talentless hacks, and are desperate enough to hire people that were in both SFV and SFxT. This is also partially due to lack of respect shown to those of our roster that deserve respect, while willingly hiring harbouring a war ccriminal.)
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-EXILE: Undertaker (UCA Title) v. Johnny Mundo (Career) w/Bang
Even though Taker has to be a cool biker dude on a kids' tricycle, he seems particularly focused after seeing his partner from last week get squashed out of the fed. Mundo slaps Taker, but the champ no-sells it and levels him twice with successive hooks. Mundo fights back with a series of kicks into a sunset flip. Taker just sits up and chokeslams him! Taker backs Mundo into the corner with some body blows, but Mundo uses the ropes to hit a rana. Mundo's up first, but runs into a powerslam. Mundo rolls away from an elbow drop. Taker sits up again, but Mundo lands a basement dropkick. Taker sells it...nope, he was playing possum! Hell's Gate, but Mundo gets to the ropes before it can be locked in. Taker makes the throat-slit gesture, but Mundo kicks him away when he goes for the Tombstone. Mundo springboards...caught with the Last Ride! ....Tombstone Piledriver! 1......2.....3!
Winner: Taker

-Tornado Tonion helps Mundo to the back, and cuts himself so that we all cry at Mundo's retirement.

-EXILE: Korayashi (Master of Taybles) v. Sonic the Hedgehog (Career)
One has to wonder if any of the challengers are going to survive the night, but this one's personal for Sonic. Sonic tackles Kora off the bell, and they roll around slugging each other for a bit. Kora eventually gets the better of that exchange, countering FIGHTING SPIRIT~ with heel grit. Kora gets the Sharpshooter, but Sonic gets to the ropes. Kora holds it until 5 anyway, why not? Sonic hits a series of somersault attacks, and Kora's starting to gas a bit. Flying kick sends Kora onto the apron near a table...Sonic charges....and Kora whips him through the ropes...and through the table!
Winner: Kora

-Cueto is backstage instructing Penta to keep his cool out there. He won't get retired, and Cueto doesn't want his soon-to-be-former champ injured needlessly.

-EXILE: John Cena (B8WL Title) w/Scare v. Pentagon Jr. (Career)
Penta is not all that calm after all, and kicks Cena's arms repeatedly. Cena weathers the storm and wakes up the crowd with a discus clothesline in retaliation. Penta low blows him as he hypes the crowd, then hits a facebuster! Scare hops on the apron and reminds Penta that Lucha Underground got dropped from Netflix! Penta is FURIOUS and chases him for a couple laps around the ring before catching him. Armbar on Scare! Cena watches....because the ref has been counting! Penta realizes this at 18 and tries to get back, but Scare grabs his foot....and Penta gets counted out! HE SHOULDA CALMED DOWN I GUESS.
Winner by countout: Cena

-...nope that's it one of our top heels just got fired by a dirty countout loss goodnight everybody
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