Board 8 > Sign up to be a ruler in my Crusader Kings 2: Holy Fury game (with write-ups)

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handsomeboy2012
12/01/18 9:51:30 PM
#201:


Despite the bug I got a load of cash and prestige from the crusade as a count (more than what I could get in a lifetime), now the pope loves me so much that I managed to make him give me 2 duchy claims
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Eerieka
12/02/18 12:49:10 AM
#202:


handsomeboy2012 posted...
Despite the bug I got a load of cash and prestige from the crusade as a count (more than what I could get in a lifetime), now the pope loves me so much that I managed to make him give me 2 duchy claims


Nice! That's one way to expand your territory. I almost never play later dates so Crusades aren't available until after I've become a king. (Then again, I rarely play Christians anymore either...)

~~~

I got a message about my fellow Brother in Darkness wantng to hold an orgy. Wait its Richard Please the Beneficent! When did HE join? Why does no one tell me when my own son joins my cult!? Anyway, I told him I would wear my special shoes.

Im PRETTY SURE Denji just had gay sex with his son. Im no longer Brawny, either.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820626

Looting Rome, I found the key to the other chest I found ages ago! There were gold coins inside featuring the likenesses of long-dead Roman emperors. All told worth 200 gold.

I captured a cardinal as I was raiding and sacrificed him to Hel.

It has come to my attention that Waynnescott the Bewildered (my daughter, not my granddaughter) wants to kill Richard Please. Thankfully, Im able to politely ask her to stop.

Meanwhile, my granddaughter of the same name is a good girl who makes sure everyone gets their share!

For once, someone else is approaching Denji for sex! Awkwardly, its the Amana girl who was the daughter of a guy in my prison that I tortured. She was the girl I snapped at when she was a little girl. She must be a HELL of a masochist
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820701

Screwed the Viceroy of Finlands currently-pregnant wife
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820723

Im going all out trying to become a Master Seducer and now I became the Court Tomcat. Meow.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820737

Denji remembered that his imbecile daughter exists, and apparently although shes dumb, shes quite happy and loves to play with the kids. She always brightens the mood at somber family dinners.
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Maniac64
12/02/18 8:40:35 AM
#203:


Well Richard Please may not mind the stuff with his wife anymore.
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Eerieka
12/02/18 5:33:30 PM
#204:


For me, the time Denji was commanded by a dwarf to have gay sex with his son is the most CK2 moment I've seen.

~~~

Denji realized that hes arbitrary. He tends to let women off for crimes whereas he punishes men more severely. The guy who he earlier accused of being a sodomite approved. He also agrees men should be punished more severely than women! (Is he just trying to cover his ass?)

My son Richard wants to summon a Jotunn Lord with me. Um, alright? Ill probably die, but Im also getting frustrated that I STILL dont have the Master Seducer trait. Okay, it was successful! We summon Vetis, the Tempter of the Holy, who has blessed Denji with +3 Intrigue.

Im so desperate to become a Master Seducer that I just went into the character finder, searched for Lustful women, and Im gonna seduce them all. Even my niece.

HOW MANY FUCKING LOVERS DO I NEED BEFORE I BECOME A MASTER SEDUCER?

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820760

FINALLY
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820778

Now I can resume going to war against Epirus. Theyve been blocking my borders.

Just as my troops were about to get into Osnabruck, the Despot of Epirus died and Osnaburck went to some other queen *sigh* Lower troops, declare war, bring troops back I declared war again on Epirus for another county nearby which they kept in their succession.

With all the women Ive bedded, Ive gotten a barrage of messages now about husbands finding out, going on trips away from my wife, bastard babies being born, etc.

My son Mana is such a drunkard that hes now known as Mana Hundred-Flagons.

Denji had another orgy in which he wore his Russian codpiece. It involved at least four different kinds of exotic drugs, a woman with a forked tongue, a one-eyed dwarf, and many other wonderful freaks some of them might even be real! He and Karin taught each other many tricks! He became Brawny again!

My daughter-in-law/lover Ingrid died from a bad case of the Flu. I will seek solace at her grave. Uh-oh, her husband Richard Please the Beneficent was also at her grave! Were fierce rivals now!
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820794

I killed the Despot of Epirus in battle and was scared that his country would get shattered again and this war would be over but it didnt!
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Maniac64
12/02/18 5:44:12 PM
#205:


Guess I was wrong about the son not caring anymore.
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Eerieka
12/03/18 3:25:50 AM
#206:


Maniac64 posted...
Guess I was wrong about the son not caring anymore.


You would think that when they both have orgies together, they wouldn't worry about things like that.

~~~

Holy SHIT my physician thinks I have Rabies!

Kanzaris got so sick of waiting for me to die that he went and became an adventurer. Maybe hes mad that I didnt immediately die to Rabies unlike the Kanzaris of 300 years ago.

Gonna take these pics before my inevitable demise (I wanted to show my lovers and "hidden" traits which would not be shown on death since Richard wouldn't know about them.)

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820815

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820825

And then I became a lunatic

HOW AM I NOT DEAD YET?

One of my bastard sons just died of pneumonia! How am I still alive with GOD DAMN RABIES?

Oops, spoke too soon. Here we go.

Denji at death:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820840

Kid count: 17
Grandkid count: 19
Great-grand kid count: 4

First child, Richard Please the Beneficent the current Emperor of Scandinavia.
Second child, Heidy Kimchi the Beneficent married the Chief of Sudurland and now her son is chief
Third child Jacqueline married the Chief of Rostov and her son was chief for a while, but it was conquered by someone else.
Fourth child, Ingibjorg (the imbecile) married Chief of Luki. Her son is the heir
Fifth child, Tomboletta too good to marry away. She matrillineally married some nobody and stayed in the realm as a commander
Sixth child, Alany married the Duke of Normandy. Her child is heir
Seventh child, Mana Hundred Flagons married the Chieftess of Kashin. His daughter is the current chief.
Eighth child, Jan married Chief of Dvina. No kids yet (shes also homosexual)
Ninth child Kanzaris married the devil worshipper Karin and became an adventurer.
Tenth child Pete Persnickity died of Measles at age 8
Eleventh child Waynnescott the Bewildered Married the Chief of Famagusta. No kids yet
All kids after that are random bastards that occurred when Denji frantically tried to become a Master Seducer and they havent been married off yet.

Richard Please the Beneficent at succession:

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1571820853

I love how the screen says hes a godly man. And yet like his father the Holy he is a devil worshipper.
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Raka_Putra
12/03/18 10:20:35 AM
#207:


He might have yet to become a master seducer in-game, but he has seduced all our hearts.
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Eerieka
12/03/18 3:24:51 PM
#208:


Raka_Putra posted...
He might have yet to become a master seducer in-game, but he has seduced all our hearts.


He did become a master seducer eventually. It was soon after I complained about it not happening.

~~~

@NFUN
EMPEROR RICHARD PLEASE THE BENEFICENT THE CRUEL
b. September 11th, 1017
r. February 10, 1060 February 21, 1088

Im supposed to play this guy as insane/ineffectual so well, hes literally not insane by the games standards, but I may be able to make it happen. So unless he becomes a Lunatic, I have to go with ineffectual. I guess Ill pick bad options when they come up? Im still going to fight wars well because Ill be damned if I let rebels take over Scandinavia. Since hes a devil worshipper, Ill have him always take the choice that is most likely to get him sick/dead/caught by a godi.

Richard immediately got married to some random peasant woman, who then immediately got pregnant. Richard dedicated the whole festival to her.

My brother Kanzaris, the adventurer, died of dysentery. Damn it brother, why you gotta be adventuring on the Oregon Trail?

Richards current wife (pregnant!) Note that her other son was from a previous marriage.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085105

Richards daughter is from his marriage to this woman:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085144

And actually, Waynnescott the Bewildered might not be Richards daughter. As you may remember, Denji got to her first.

Malmfrid had a baby boy. Ill name him Douglas Edwards just in case.

Richard put down another Sunni rebellion. He had 3 prisoners in his dungeon. Executed 2 and tortured the last one. The one he tortured was an adventurer with over 600 gold and instead of being able to banish him, he was ransomable for 10 gold. Nah, Ill just put you on the rack instead.
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Raka_Putra
12/03/18 9:40:52 PM
#209:


Ah, nice! He's seducing valkyries now. Or whoever Hel has in her court.
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Maniac64
12/03/18 9:47:00 PM
#210:


Probably not Valkyries. Valkyries are usually the ones that prevent people from going to Hel. They are enemies typically.

I would expect some sort of Draugr?
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Eerieka
12/04/18 1:00:31 AM
#211:


I hope those Draugr aren't as ugly as the ones in Skyrim.

~~~

The Christians began their crusade for Jerusalem and Richard got a message from the Trollmadr of the Fellowship of Hel that he needs to desecrate a temple. Welp, we know what all our gods want!

Richard actually had the intrigue skill to murder the gydja carefully, but since Im playing him as insane/ineffectual he did it sloppily instead. And then when he got into the temples inner sanctum with the decorative idols and relics, he burned them all in the name of Hel!

My daughter Waynescott the Bewildered is pregnant! If its a boy, itll be Douglas Edwards. If its a girl, itll be Rika.

Richard wanted to make his wife love him more, so he tried to summon a demon to possess her, but it failed miserably and in fact made Malmfrid insane! He spent a day with her anyway and they had a nice talk, and then she became pregnant.

My physician became a Renowned Physician. At least someone in the realm is respectable!

Waynnescott had a Quick son! Welcome to the world, Douglas Edwards. My wifes son was born a while later, named Raka.

I declared war on some random-ass queen in Scotland and while I was getting my troops together SHE brought the war to ME, namely by planting her 1000 troops on 100 of mine only for my 15,000 to step in and massacre hers. Oh, and take her prisoner. Oh, and she doesnt have ransom money so I just automatically win without ever stepping foot in Scotland.

Or so it would have been, if she was the only one in Scotland I declared war on. When I see a bunch of small provinces in one area that I can conquer, I like to just do it all at once so I dont have to lower my troops and reraise them+get them back to a single location.
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Raka_Putra
12/04/18 2:36:12 AM
#212:


Aw yeah the first Raka is born!

So what did you get out of the Scottish queen? Just prestige?
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Eerieka
12/04/18 4:52:47 AM
#213:


I believe that was my conquest of Moray in northern Scotland. Also, Raka was one of those names that got scattered around and then the AI started using it, so now I have Rakas everywhere. >_>

~~~

Someone found out about Richards plot to murder, uh someone? My rival, the marshal of Iceland. Everyone wanted to blackmail Richard, but he doesnt give a shit. Hell just kill them afterwards. Anyway, the plot was leaked and now everyone hates him more, but oh well.

And then everyone turned traitor. Well, not everyone, and I was marching one army back from Scotland, so I had a lot of troops out of the way when it happened. They want to put some fuckface jarl on the throne.

While Im trying to move troops around, Richard is busy being a stupid devil-worshipper. He and his wife went on a random-ass jog around town, beat up a godi, pissed on him, and then took his clothes and went around pretending to be a godi and making prayers to Loki while also preaching to the masses the false Word of Odin: The path to salvation requires self-indulgence and the rejection of so-called authorities especially the clergy!

Richard heard a tale about a great man whose blood he shared. The story focuses on an epic feat where Pete Persnickity proved the strength of his character. Richard can strive to be more like Pete, or make his own fate. Richard is a moron who thinks he can make his own fate. (Note, the trait in question which he wants to emulate is Petes wroth trait lol)

Richard sent a letter to his wife wherein he told her how lucky she was to have a friend like him. She later died of food poisoning. Jeez.
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Eerieka
12/04/18 4:55:36 PM
#214:


Also, although Richard is a dumb-dumb and a bad ruler, the one in charge of the army (I, the player) is making all sorts of great decisions. >_> The traitor leader is on Zeeland, an island, but he moved his army to Brugge on the mainland, which I own. I put my troops on Zeeland thinking I could bait him, but he wasnt fooled. I split my army in half, sent one to Gent on the mainland and the other in Zeeland. Still not baited. Alright. I threw one army at his, and then once they were in battle and safe from the strait-crossing penalty, I reinforced with the Zeeland army. Crushed. And then I noticed he had 9000 troops marching from the georgraphical area of Sweden/Norway, so I moved my troops onto Zeeland to intercept them and the dumbass did it. He took a strait crossing penalty.

Then he retreated that army into his waiting army on Gent and probably thought I would chase him and get the penalty since hed be a defender. Instead I moved to Brugge again. He started back to Zeeland, but I got there first and won the defender bonus AGAIN.

Richard and his niece Zyx, the Chieftess of Ross, fellow worshipper of Hel, decided to go out on a stroll and torture a random peasant family whow as clearly favored by Thor. Its time to do Fenrirs work! Zyx carved the wifes face off and paraded around, wearing it as a mask, taunting and kissing the man while Richard boiled baby fat to make a flying potion. Then the constructed an idol of Angrboda from the dismembered bodies. Then he left it as a symbol of Fenrirs power. The people of Scania rose up in revolt! I won easily and tortured the fool who dared rebel against his Emperor. On the same day, the guy who wanted to put some other dude on the throne asked for a white peace because other countries were about to declare war on him. Since I didnt want to deal with those other countries, I accepted and tortured him, too. I am now known as the Cruel which is pretty great to go along with his name of Richard Please the Beneficent.

After that, I was low on troops and money. I went raiding, and then the King of Holland thought he could take me on! I used pretty much the same strategy of baiting him onto Zeeland. Only it was a bit scarier since my reinforcements were still in present-day Denmark, so I had to move some boats and that left my weak army to fight alone for a few days. But I made it!
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Zyxyz0
12/04/18 7:26:32 PM
#215:


Eerieka posted...
Richard and his niece Zyx, the Chieftess of Ross, fellow worshipper of Hel, decided to go out on a stroll and torture a random peasant family whow as clearly favored by Thor. Its time to do Fenrirs work! Zyx carved the wifes face off and paraded around, wearing it as a mask, taunting and kissing the man while Richard boiled baby fat to make a flying potion. Then the constructed an idol of Angrboda from the dismembered bodies. Then he left it as a symbol of Fenrirs power.


getting off to a nice start here, I see
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Raka_Putra
12/04/18 8:08:23 PM
#216:


Eerieka posted...
I am now known as the Cruel which is pretty great to go along with his name of Richard Please the Beneficent.

Not only is that ironic, it's a mouthful as well.
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Eerieka
12/05/18 2:41:37 AM
#217:


Zyxyz0 posted...
getting off to a nice start here, I see


Aw jeez, is that the first Zyx I've mentioned? She was a bit of a crazy one. >_>

Raka_Putra posted...
Not only is that ironic, it's a mouthful as well.


I wasn't sure if CK2 had a character limit in names so when that game was offered, I didn't think it would fit. Luckily it did! (And I'm not sure there is a character limit either. It just fades away at the edge of the profile)

~~~

One of the Douglas Edwards who is not the heir wants to join the Jomsvikings, so I told him to go with my blessing.

The mayor of some town in Finland wanted to summon a demon, and since Richard is full of bad ideas, he agreed to it. He actually didnt fuck it up, and now has the blessing of Azazel. Then the Trollmadr wanted me to corrupt the Fylkir who was already insane and incapable, so why not?

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085173
Two events popped up which equally deserved my scorn. One: I love that I have no choice but to be an absolute asshole to this guy. Secondly, this bitch thinks she can matrillineally marry me, her fucking EMPEROR? (It doesnt actually matter since were the same dynasty, but still the gall!)

I won the war. They struck hard and fast and initially got up to 81 (-81 for me) warscore before my troops could even land. Thankfully the AI is easily tricked, so I got that 81 down (-81 up?) pretty quick.

I took another quest to torture a Thor-loving family, and then became an Impaler!

The Black Death reemerged somewhere in the world (Arabia) on the day Richard became Trollmadr lol.

Waynnescott is looking out for her succession lol. Shes my spymaster and she just threatened a guy into staying loyal. And not just any guy, but the guy who my vassals wanted to put on the throne during that civil war.

I built a Runestone, and for a change, I decided to build it after my mother, the AI parent. Rognfrid, who was burned at the stake for being a member of the Fellowship of Hel. Im sure Richard, the current Trollmadr, would want to honor her more appropriately.

Aww, it says she was robbed of her life by the cowardly hangman for reasons too petty to mention. Ever will stand this memorial. Mama would be proud (although she was definitely burned at the stake, not hanged...)
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Zyxyz0
12/05/18 5:14:53 AM
#218:


back in my previous game I eventually got a lot of minor members of my dynasty asking to marry other dynasty members in my court, I guess because we had the highest prestige in the area?
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Eerieka
12/05/18 3:48:51 PM
#219:


Zyxyz0 posted...
back in my previous game I eventually got a lot of minor members of my dynasty asking to marry other dynasty members in my court, I guess because we had the highest prestige in the area?


That seems to always happen eventually, but especially with women looking for matrilineal marriages. I don't know if it's a prestige thing, or just because the game knows it can ask for a matrilineal marriage and it won't make a difference since we're the same dynasty.

~~~

With the conquest of Rovaniemi, I was able to usurp the title of Kingdom of Lapland at last. The last of the kings ex-vassals agreed to become my vassals peacefully. I gave the Kingdom title away to my loyal Chief of Kemi as a viceroyalty.

Meanwhile, my vassals on the eastern boarder of my country have been doing good work breaking down Kiev and theyve now made it to the Dneiper river without any of my help.

Im not sure what happened to Douglas Edwards to make him a Lunatic, and hes got so many other good traits! Also, he became friends with another Douglas Edwards.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085208

Richard pretty much spends his days playing board games nowadays, but since hes already an Impaler, he cant become a Game Master.

Oh man, this guy Ive been trying to kill forever finally died in a war between himself and another vassal. Nothing of value was lost.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, the new Viceroy of Lapland decided he needed to wage a war in Cyprus!? Erm, anyway, I now have land in Cyprus. Thanks? (In hindsight, that Cypriot land was actually awesome because after looting the pope, I could land ashore on Cyprus to get my money and prestige, and then go back to looking, instead of going all the way around Europe)
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Maniac64
12/05/18 8:06:46 PM
#220:


Nice to have a foothold to stop at.
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Eerieka
12/06/18 3:30:50 AM
#221:


The Fylkir died and was replaced by a Fylkja named Svanhildr who declared a Great Holy War against Germany on her very first day as Fylkja. Dayum, girl, chill out. I refuse to participate because if I ever play at going to war, Ill lose a bunch of troops and these fucking traitorous vassals will trying to put some other asshole on the throne.

There once was a girl named Thyra. She was one of Emperor Denjis many bastard daughters. Many vassals wanted to put her on the throne for reasons Richard didnt understand, but he thought it was because of her 15 diplomacy stat. Thyra had been married off to another Denji who was the son of Kanzaris the son of Emperor Denji. Ehh, forget the family tree. Long story short, this woman was inbreeding and causing problems by being a good ruler while Richard was a piece of shit. She even hired an army to attack Richard in 2 years! He cast a spell on her and gave her Slow Fever and was then pissed off when his court physican botched the treatment. Lol? Shouldnt you be THANKING him?

My son Douglas Edwards died of dysentery. But its fine, he was the spare Douglas. Wynnescotts son is still alive.

Richard was in love with some harelip woman for all of about three months.

Someone in another realm wanted to marry my lusty witch court physician. I allowed it, so she went to that other persons court. The next physician I hired was Haraldr the Sea-Devil with one leg and a loyal parrot. Arrr. (In all my time playing CK2, I dont think Ive ever had a bad pirate physician. Ive even seen one become pope.)

A cat followed Richard home. Did I mention he has a wolf familiar? Because he has a wolf familiar I dont know if they will play nicely together.
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Eerieka
12/06/18 3:05:09 PM
#222:


Haraldr the Sea-Devil thinks Im coming down with Tuberculosis. His cure? He thinks its due to laughing so much, so now everyone at court is forbidden from telling Richard jokes, and he can only read tedious tomes.

When that didnt work, Haraldr now thinks its cancer, and he thinks the cure for that is to have me strapped to a chair and sleep upright for a few days.

Finally, he made me drink the urine of a pregnant sow, which actually made Richard feel better!

Haha, while raiding, Richard found another Sword From Heaven, but clearly it was a fake. Clearly. He had it destroyed.

Richard is now Infirm he wont last long now.

Douglas Edwards and his genius wife had a Quick son! If all goes accordingly, this may be Raka.

Ive had the same event like three times in a row where someone wants to paint a grand portrait of Emperor Denji. I hope they showed off his seductive side.

I killed an adventurer and tortured him. Then Richard had the event where he cant stop thinking of the prisoners in his dungeon and he wanted to torture him again lol

Please, game, just put me out of my misery
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085237

Richard Please the Beneficent at death:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085276

Waynnescott the Bewildered at succession:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085298

Her blushing husband (title from the Wolf Warriors which he is a member of):
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085380

Her heir Douglas Edwards (his son is Raka):
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574085340
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Eerieka
12/06/18 7:46:57 PM
#223:


@VectorAgent
EMPRESS WAYNNESCOTT THE BEWILDERED THE WISE
b. September 1st, 1043
r. February 21, 1088 February 9, 1119

On her first day as Empress, some jackass adventurer wanted to buy her land in her primary duchy! Fuck off.

So Im supposed to play her as Napoleon Complex. Which in the context of this game, I guess means shes going to go to war a lot and generally be aggressive/rude/domineering. Works for me! I dont know how tall she is, but maybe we can pretend her complex is about her fucked-up face. I dont know how she became disfigured, but well say shes disgruntled about it.

During a succession, I lost my +2 Axe, but I just got another one, so its okay. :) (I dont actually use it. I just like the idea of having it)

One of my vassals took over a province in Wales many generations ago and I still have it for some reason. It makes for a good raiding spot though, since I can raid all my Catholic neighbors (including a theocracy!) without paying for my boats to carry loot.

We found a woman who we believed to be a witch. The peasants accused her of causing their crops to fail. I threw her in the dungeon.

Wynnescott is raising her grandson, Raka. In preparation of him being a religious/peaceful character, I made him Humble when he got an event about being a Prideful braggart.

On the other hand, Wynnescott became proud when someone offered to chronicle her family history.

And then she became a Viking after plundering neighboring Welsh counties.

In the interest of getting more land and reaching the final holy site, Paderborn, I declared three small wars at once.
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Raka_Putra
12/06/18 8:07:38 PM
#224:


Whee little me.

Also your rulers tend to live at least a decent amount of time, so kudos for that. No one with just <10 years of reign.
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Eerieka
12/06/18 9:23:52 PM
#225:


Raka_Putra posted...
Whee little me.

Also your rulers tend to live at least a decent amount of time, so kudos for that. No one with just <10 years of reign.


Unfortunately, that won't be the trend forever. :( I had one die in like 4 years and I'm trying to have another ruler with his name so I can get decent playtime out of it.
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VectorAgent
12/06/18 10:13:56 PM
#226:


Eerieka posted...
@VectorAgent
EMPRESS WAYNNESCOTT THE BEWILDERED THE WISE
b. September 1st, 1043
r. February 21, 1088 February 9, 1119

On her first day as Empress, some jackass adventurer wanted to buy her land in her primary duchy! Fuck off.

So Im supposed to play her as Napoleon Complex. Which in the context of this game, I guess means shes going to go to war a lot and generally be aggressive/rude/domineering. Works for me! I dont know how tall she is, but maybe we can pretend her complex is about her fucked-up face. I dont know how she became disfigured, but well say shes disgruntled about it.

During a succession, I lost my +2 Axe, but I just got another one, so its okay. :) (I dont actually use it. I just like the idea of having it)

One of my vassals took over a province in Wales many generations ago and I still have it for some reason. It makes for a good raiding spot though, since I can raid all my Catholic neighbors (including a theocracy!) without paying for my boats to carry loot.

We found a woman who we believed to be a witch. The peasants accused her of causing their crops to fail. I threw her in the dungeon.

Wynnescott is raising her grandson, Raka. In preparation of him being a religious/peaceful character, I made him Humble when he got an event about being a Prideful braggart.

On the other hand, Wynnescott became proud when someone offered to chronicle her family history.

And then she became a Viking after plundering neighboring Welsh counties.

In the interest of getting more land and reaching the final holy site, Paderborn, I declared three small wars at once.


Ha ha, this is off to a promising start.
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Eerieka
12/07/18 4:43:41 AM
#227:


Raka has become patient. Hes turning into a good boy! I also finally found a genius he could marry.

Waynnescott is nicer than her father and grandfather were. She actually ransoms minor characters rather than immediately executing them. (I needed the money)

Oldenberg acquired!

Raka likes to eat, and Waynnescott tried to force him to fight to learn how to be a knight, but the kid is an eater, not a fighter. He remained Gluttonous.

Oh shit, I took Paderborn, the last of our holy sites, and now Im getting messages that the Pope is planning a holy war against us! All my viceroys have pledged their loyalty to protect Irminsul!

Gosh, Im not sure what I should do to prepare. Raid the papacy? That sounds like a good idea anyway lol. While raiding, I got a 1000-man army by seducing the enemy commander.

Declare war on me right now, motherfucker.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951290

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951310
Wait, what? This is for Thrace? I dont have any land in Thrace. Are you talking about Cyprus? You dont care about Paderborn? WHAT THE FUCK, POPE?

Oh shit, Douglas Edwards was killed in battle! And the rest of Wynnescotts kids have random Norse names because she had control over names due to marrying a guy who later got land and then she went to his court. And theyre all too old to be renamed. I think I need to reload to a previous save. I cant let my son and heir die or else the names will be all off.

I surrendered before it got too hairy. Brittany took this land, but Im sure my King of Sweden will take it back. In the meantime, Im going to continue raiding the pope and the fucker who took my land in Thrace (that I didnt know about lol).
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951347
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Eerieka
12/07/18 2:19:00 PM
#228:


I antagonized the king of that land within my borders. I had the option to forge a claim, but I belive since hes in my de jure land, I already have a claim. Instead, I riled up the peasants, and now theres a thieves guild inside his borders.

After raiding that province in Thrace, I then chased down and slaughtered every last soldier in the Crusader Thrace Army. Sadly, I lost my Organizer in battle. RIP Yavlad. Richard had recruited him from an enemy adventurer after hed been captured. To my knowledge, he was the only prisoner Richard had ever been merciful towards (Yedlav had like 19 Martial at the time and Organizer/Battlefield Terrain Master). Why yes, I did marry off a member of my family to him. Wanted some good warrior babies. He had only one son, but I promise to raise him as a good warrior.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951377

I just realied that Wynnescott the Bewildered is now known as the Wise which is amazing. I dont know when it happened. I must have missed the mini popup.

Also, I just realized that the Pope is highly suspicious for being a devil worshipper and hes a branded apostate! Come on, Catholic Church that alone should ban you from being a pope!

Wow, shots fired. I traced back some nasty rumors that were being spread about me, and the character in question is homosexual. So what does Wynnescott call her? A vile lesbian.

One of Waynnescotts daughters, Ingibjorg (its always an Ingibjorg) is a lovely woman who always brightens up the room. Shes not an imbecile, though in fact, shes Quick. Shes also pregnant, and possibly with another mans baby because shes an adultress. Makes you wonder.

Oh shit, I have cramps. Cramps only come around for two diseases: food poisoning or the PLAGUE (good thing real life doesnt work that way). Either way, this may be the end for Wynnescott! But Harladr the Sea Devil will treat me anyway! Also, he thinks Im getting Consumption. After studying the stars for many hours, he thinks I have to fast for a fortnight. This sounds like a bad idea. Well, the cramps went away on their own. Phew!

My spymaster died and I wasnt paying attention to who the next best one would be. I hired the vile lesbian. Erm, really hope she didnt hear Waynnescott call her that. >_>
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Eerieka
12/07/18 8:43:54 PM
#229:


I gave Waynnescott the Theology focus since I had her wanting to become a Paragon of Virtue, and then I got this Lunatic-causing event. 1. Please stop turning my characters into Lunatics, Paradox. Its funny once. Its not funny when it keeps happening. 2. Is this a Theology-related event? The they must all be cleansed sounds like religious mumbo-jumbo. Either way, it happened just before I declared war on Brittany for my land, so its fitting!
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951401

I have two Rakas right now, the heir is a Mastermind Theologian and the other one became a Brilliant Strategist with Siege Leader! Fuck yeah, welcome to my army, Raka. Also welcome to marriage to another Strong woman. Please make lots of Strong babies. Wait, youre both chaste? Okay, please make at least one Strong baby.

Alright, the lesbian was plotting against me again. I have to fire her. And probably kill her.

I just got rumors now that someone wants to kill my husband! And hes now known as Valdemar Strongarm! What a fucking amazing name! Its too bad he doesnt like me because he has a title so hes ambitious and a claimant to my throne. I gave him some money and plan to sway him to see whatll happen.

With all her loot monies, Waynnescott donated to the Jomsvikings.

Shes Bewildered alright. Apparently shes following the meme of Norway then, Norway now.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951420
https://countryballs.net/_nw/9/00973694.png

Also, its a load of bollocks because I went to war the next day. >_> Think I can take on four small Catholics at once? I believe I can.

Um, so I murdered the vile lesbian by poisoning her wine and someone spilled the beans that it was me. Turns out, the lesbian was Rakas mom! Raka my amazing siege leader! And now hes the Jarl of Sjaelland AND my rival!

And my my grandson Raka yknow, the one whos supposed to become Emperor one day went and became an adventurer! hes gonna get himself killed doing that!
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Eerieka
12/08/18 4:13:57 AM
#230:


Whoops. While I was killing one country, another one managed to land some troops on my capital. >_> They took my engraved sword!

YEAH, my husand Valdemar Strongarm declared war on the piece of garbage crusader who took over my land! Go honey!

Im gonna give the county of Guines to someone worthy of it. A great man. A man with no title, but who has earned one. Haraldr the Sea Devil, welcome to being Count of Guines.

My Viceroy of Lapland just took the rest of Cyprus for whatever god damn reason. I expect the crusaders will just want to take it later.

Atholl acquired, and now all wars won! Time for peace.

My husband conquered his enemy in Vista and then died of depression :( Guess conquering isnt a cure for what ails you.

With all the prisoners from those wars, I think its time for a Great Blot! For some reason, we didnt sacrifice the bishop huh. Guess Ill ransom him.

It has come to my attention that my grandson Raka who became an adventurer went and died of the Great Pox syphilis. Well, hope he had fun, wherever he went. Alas, this means he is no longer my heir, Douglass second child was named Zyx, so I may have yet another skip in generations.

I quickly had Zyx (a girl) matrillineally marry a genius man, although he is a godi and 30 years her senior so who knows if this will lead to any babies.

Did some raiding, now Im gonna search for a goldsmith to make a crown. One and all shall see the indisputable might of House Boardeight!
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951442

The goldsmith made the Crown of Crows and a Sword of Heroes.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951465
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1574951488
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Eerieka
12/08/18 3:04:49 PM
#231:


Waynnescott secluded herself in prayer and meditation and she cured herself of Lunacy! Holy shit! Amazing!

And then someone put a venomous snake in her bed! She rolled out before the vile serpent had a chance to strike! It recoiled and disappeared, then she went to fetch the guard. I decided to autostop plots for a moment (usually I leave it on for shits and giggles), but in this case, I wanted to find out who wanted me dead and that helped clean up the mess.

I had a suspicion who it was. Of course, my rival Raka, Jarl of Sjaelland, whose mother I killed. I asked him to please stop putting snakes in my bed, and he complied. If he didnt, Id have to plot to kill him, too (honestly, I would have a long time ago if not for his siege leader ability)

I got an event about starting a mob in some town Ive never heard of because a patrician family there has pissed me off. Man, I dont know what lands my vassals are conquering anymore. But sure, assemble the mob! Wynnescott has a complex about something so

Oh, it was only motherfucking Genoa. Jesus Christ, who went and conquered Genoa!?

When my husband Valdemar Strongarm died, his land went to Douglas Edwards, and since then hes been allowed to do his own thing, unfortunately. He got married again and had concubines and then had another son, a Quick one. I was able to rename him somehow, and hes Raka now, too.

Oh, someone else killed Jarl Raka. He died under suspicious circumstances but it wasnt me, so I dunno who did it.
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MariaTaylor
12/08/18 3:47:46 PM
#232:


Eerieka posted...
Waynnescott secluded herself in prayer and meditation and she cured herself of Lunacy!


I feel like this is how an actual lunatic would describe their own history, but without realizing that this is exactly how a lunatic would behave.
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VectorAgent
12/08/18 4:55:19 PM
#233:


I like to think that the inconsistency in how you spell the name--switching from "Waynnescott" to "Wynnescott" and back and forth--might be attributed to her lunacy.
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Eerieka
12/08/18 8:25:26 PM
#234:


MariaTaylor posted...
I feel like this is how an actual lunatic would describe their own history, but without realizing that this is exactly how a lunatic would behave.


XD Little did we know, Waynnescott was bewildered even when she thought she wasn't!

VectorAgent posted...
I like to think that the inconsistency in how you spell the name--switching from "Waynnescott" to "Wynnescott" and back and forth--might be attributed to her lunacy.


I try to always spell it Waynnescott, but when my spell checker gave up on keeping up with all the random names and words in the Doc I'm using, I guess I got lazy. That, or I may have gone a session without knowing what her name was supposed to be, since it looks like I called her Wynnescott in a few close paragraphs.

~~~

Waynnescott has been feeling some phantom pain where her nose used to be. Shes getting old too. I dont expect her to live much longer. She asked Haraldr the Sea Devil if he knows any way to fix it, and he has two options: a potion or surgery. Potion is 50% success or 50% upset stomach. Surgery is 80% success or 20% permanent nerve damage. (I can also just abstain from either treatment). Well, Wynnescott has a complex about her face, so she would want it fixed surgically. And she trusts Haraldr. Hes been a good man and a good physician. Also, ever since I gave him land, hes had 6 kids lol. He succeeded! Good job, Haraldr!

LOL, my Viceroy of Estonia was waging a war for some land in Prussia when a peasant revolt started up in his lands and they attacked the invading Prussians! Thanks, Prussia.

Well, Haraldr the Sea Devil died. RIP, crazy pirate doctor. Lets see who my next physician will be Well, theres a Tomboletta who doesnt hate me. Welcome to my court, Dr. Tomboletta, MD.

Fylkir wants to go to holy war with Germany for a third time. Like, just give up already dude. Its not going to happen until we slowly conquer their land piecemeal.

Rumors have reached your ears that people are conspiring to kill you. Im a fucking disfigured 70 year old woman. It cant be that hard.

Waynnescott also got the event to emulate Pete Persnickitys wroth attitude. Sure, I guess she could stand to be a bit more hot-tempered. Shes fucking old at this point, and if anyone has a right to be grumpy, its her.

Waynnescott lived to the ripe old age of 75. I think in the interest of playing with younger characters, Ill try to make my heirs one of my younger children. Im not sure Ill get enough play time out of Douglas Edwards to do the stuff I want to do.

Waynnescott the Bewildered at death:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114020

Douglas Edwards at succession:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114029
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Eerieka
12/09/18 2:56:47 AM
#235:


@greengravy294
EMPEROR DOUGLAS EDWARDS THE MAGNANINMOUS
b. March 4th, 1062
r. February 9, 1119 March 15, 1123

He probably doesnt have a lot of time left to be a pervert, but here we go! I switched him to seduction focus and told the Fellowship of Hel that I was interested in joining. If he doesnt live long, I might have a second go at a Douglas Edwards II, but probably in a few generations. Ive played a lot of perverts recently, and I, the player, could use a break from it lol.

Hes already a Lunatic, so weve got the usual lunatic events happening. He saw a gopher dressed as a maid and chased after it.

Doug tortured his prisoners with a feather.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114039

The Fellowship got in contact with me. The spymaster of Agder was among their forces. Ill join them soon.

My wife was pregnant and she had twins! A boy and a girl. Unfortunately, the boy was born mentally (you know). I did name the girl Rika, just in case.

Speaking of which, my heir Raka was betrothed to someone earlier, but not anymore, so I guess she died. I betrothed him now to one of my vassals, Katarina, who has like 4 duchies even though shes a freaking 7 year old girl.

Doug killed his rival, the mayor of some town, after spending a lifetime provoking him. Or so I assume. Im not sure what the AI did prior to me taking control. All I know is the AI was provoking this mayor when I took over. Anyway, the mayor challenged Doug to a duel, and Doug being the sneaky bastard he is, accepted and sabotaged the rivals armor. He won with trickery.

Douglas just had ANOTHER set of twins through his concubine! Wow! Both girls, both healthy physically and mentally. Im going to give them my name and nickname since I think Raka is safe for now.
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Eerieka
12/09/18 8:25:09 PM
#236:


A rebellion to lower crown authority began, and Im kinda glad it did because I need to revoke some of these titles. Unfortunately, it also included the woman I was seducing. :\

This was a good lesson into why commanders are a good thing to invest in! We had damn near equal numbers of troops: 13000 each. There were no bonuses for defenders or attackers. But I had a Martial 20, 17, and 16 in my army while they had nothing but a Martial 6 girl. Also, my 16 guy was the son of Yavlad, also named Yavlad. RIP. But he has a son also named Yavlad, so the legacy continues.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114048

Douglas Edwards is now known as the Magnanimous. Yeesh, well, Im going to call this one a great character technically, but a failure for roleplaying. I think my issue was he was in his 50s when I finally got control of him. If I controlled him when he was 20, by now hed be fucking boys, girls, and donkeys.

Douglas sees a nymph flit pas the corner of his eye, naked and red-haired, giggling. She lives in the garden, always teasing him and never showing herself clearly. Doug realizes she must be the spirit of the rose bush! He jumped in. When he emerged, his head was filled with carnal but vague memories. He was bleeding from all the cruel thorns.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114056

Well, I couldnt get Douglas Edwards to fuck young boys, but he did fuck a rose bush.

The war has been won. Now to revoke titles and torture prisoners! :) One of them was the concubine of a guy whose titles I revoked. Well, no point to him having a concubine anymore! Shell be mine, instead.

I incurred quite a bit of tyranny by revoking all those titles, but then Ill give them to new vassals who will like me. :)

Oh shit, hes dead already! Well, it was a short reign, but honestly I dont think I could do much more with him. If Id had control of him from when he was younger, I probably could have made him into an absolute deviant. Ill probably go a generation or two for Raka, Zyx, and maybe DONKEY KONG before I give another Douglas Edwards a whirl.

Douglas Edwards at death:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114061

Raka at succession:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114084
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Raka_Putra
12/09/18 10:32:59 PM
#237:


Aww RIP adventurer!Me (and Douglas Edwards, taken too soon) but also yay finally my time to reign!
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MariaTaylor
12/10/18 1:24:03 AM
#238:


we're only like two away from DONKEY KONG now, right?

hurry up and die, raka...
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Eerieka
12/10/18 1:33:17 AM
#239:


MariaTaylor posted...
we're only like two away from DONKEY KONG now, right?

hurry up and die, raka...


Things don't always happen in the intended order, so DK might be a few more generations down than you realize... but it was worth it in the end. Trust me. >_>

~~~

@Raka_Putra
EMPEROR RAKA THE GREAT
b. October 18, 1108
r. March 15, 1123 January 20, 1174

Now, how does Raka want me to play him? Try to stay out of war as much possible and enact internal reforms and quell rebels if any.

Alright, I can do this! Ill have Raka be raised by a man skilled in Learning and then have him go with the Theology/Learning focus.

He probably will have to quell rebels since right now everyone hates him due to their opinion of Douglas Edwards spilling over. As for internal reforms, this will be a good chance for me to see if I can increase the crown laws in Norway.

I have prisoners in my dungeon still, but I think Raka would be merciful toward them. He will release the ones who have been good. The worst traitors will live the rest of their lives in jail, though. For now, he can at least put them under house arrest so they will be more comfortable. (Funnily, one of the prisoners asked for a more comfortable room AFTER I made the decision to move him.)

Alright, my hopes for peace arent going well. Some dude thinks that some other dude named Kanzaris is the rightful ruler of Scandinavia. Time to beat his ass, I guess.

The war would have been won eventually, but this is one way to do it!
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114099

Although Raka is not the kind of man who would torture and execute his prisoners, he WILL revoke titles of rebels. But he cant do it until he comes of age, and hell only revoke one title per traitor (vassals will get mad otherwise).

I pressed the button to summon a physican and the random event I got was for another pirate doctor! Welcome aboard, Dr. Refr the Sea Devil.

Welp, more vassals rose up before I had a chance to grow up and revoke titles. :( Rakas gonna be draining the swamp when hes an adult!
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Raka_Putra
12/10/18 2:52:18 AM
#240:


Yay! Time to catch up to see what lands my vassals have taken. Gotta increase that crown authority and stuff.
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So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr-- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehr.
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Eerieka
12/10/18 6:50:06 AM
#241:


Raka grew up! Dutiful Cleric isnt a great education, sadly. Im also going to raise my wife since she has no guardian and has no traits, therefore she has no personality. I also sent her a gift to help our relationship, since right now shes got a huge malus due to hating my dad.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575114110

One of my vassals wants me to release one of the traitors in my prison. And not just any traitor, but the leader of the revolt back in Douglas Edwards time. I diplomatically explained to the man why I would not free this jackass. I wont torture him like my predecessor would, but I wont free traitors either.

Aww, one of the traitors I just revoked the title of was the son of Haraldr the Sea Devil. Damn it, kid, you could have lived a life of luxury in Guines, but you threw it all away.

Raka learned that a man in his court follows the Sunni religion, but since hes trying to be open-minded about other religions, he has gained Sympathy for Sunni.

Uh-oh, Im getting news that the pope wants to do another crusade. With any luck, itll be against some stupid area I dont care about. I heard one of my vassals conquered London, so maybe hell try to crusade for that. In any case, I am prepared to surrender immediately since Im nowhere near strong enough to kill the Catholics.

Wife Katarina came of age. Reason I married her was because she has so many damn jarldom titles, I hope they can get passed down to my heir and then I can hand them to vassals, thus splitting them up.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575626229

I raised my troops. I cant help it! I feel like if Im in a war, I should at least do my damndest. Man, why the hell am I fighting this Crusade?

At least Katarina is pregnant and I can dedicate the whole festival to her. She was the most appropriate candidate for the festival, being a spitting image of Freyja, according to all who attened the festival. She was collected and pious during the ceremony, and Raka received many compliments for chosing such a wise woman to be his wife.

Alright, I let the Catholics beat up my troops. Ill just conquer a few small provinces later when Im not Raka, since I have to be peaceful lol. But theres no telling what my vassals will do.
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Raka_Putra
12/10/18 10:54:12 AM
#242:


Yeah, might be the character to take a breather from all the pillaging and stuff.

MariaTaylor posted...
we're only like two away from DONKEY KONG now, right?

hurry up and die, raka...

no u :p
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So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr-- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehr.
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Eerieka
12/10/18 2:38:37 PM
#243:


Zyx was born! (Since my new plan is to nominate a young heir for maximum play time, this may not be THE Zyx I play as)

Raka had the flu for a few months during the crusade, but he feels much better now. Time to get to work improving this country.

Well, first hes gonna take a trip to Uppsala to visit a holy site. The spirit of Tyr is said to permeate the entire area.

Refr the Sea Devil died of poor health meawhile the Jarl of Iceland died of scurvy. Sounds like they were up to some piratey nonsense together!

Oh my God, Rakas wife Katarina is only 18 but shes already disfigured and known as the Monster. Honey, please

Ive built more barracks so I can train more heavy troops, but Ive also built more castle towns for infrastructure.

Zyx wants to play! Raka took time out of his day to play with his son and Zyx gained a point in Stewardship.

My spymaster suggests building a provincial messenger system so peasants can communicate with their kin more easily. A good idea, spymaster! Shes a granddaughter of Waynnescott the Bewildered from one of the kids she had that I didnt get to name. She has 24 Intrigue, making her the best spymaster in my realm, despite that she has the great pox and is insane. I feel like shed realistically be a bad choice. My spymaster wanted to do the same thing in Bornholm, as well.

What the fuck? As I was swaying my wife, she said that we dont know each other well enough to reveal details about her personal life. Bitch, I am your god damn husband. I was your fucking teacher. WE HAD A KID TOGETHER! WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?

Yavlad the Third came of age and became a Brilliant Strategist. I married him off to another Brilliant Strategist lady from one of the steppe nations in the east.

Raka had a lot of money and not a lot of stuff to spend it on. He gave it to many of his vassals so they would vote for shit such as increasing the crown authority in Norway so he could later revoke their titles when they inevitably revolt.
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Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun
Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise
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Eerieka
12/10/18 6:20:33 PM
#244:


https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575978092
Oh, do I want to be a jolly fat man like Santa Claus? Sure, why not! None of my characters have been fat yet, and Im kinda curious what itd be like. Welp, Katarina doesnt like it and she told me I better shape up or I wont be able to stand, let alone accomplish anything of note.

I then got another message about how I dont know Katarina well enough for her to talk about her life and the next day she became pregnant AGAIN. Jesus fucking Christ, this woman Doesnt know me enough to talk to me about her personal issues, and yet is more than happy to fuck me until shes pregnant.

So I noticed that the Jarl of Agder is basically the one guy whos preventing me from making changes in the Kingdom of Norway. The reason for that is hes salty because I am the direct liege of Rogaland which is de jure part of his duchy. Normally I dont give a shit about stuff like that and Ill let vassals take it. Excpet the Cheiftess of Rogaland is my fantastic Chancellor, Thora, and Id lose her if she went under him. So now I have her in his court trying to improve relations and talk about what a great ruler I am. Its a cycle that works for me, but must be annoying to the jarl. Like, he basically has this woman speaking in his ear about how wise the emperor is for keeping her under his own vassalage instead of transferring because otherwise she wouldnt be able to whisper in his ear. Oh yeah, and hes fabricating a claim on Rogaland as we speak, so I could imprison him, but then Id be unable to revoke his title because its not allowed by law. However, if he votes yes, then Ill be able to imprison him and revoke his title.

Also 3 dudes who are involved in the vote are in my dungeon, so if nothing else, I should be able to pass the law when they fuck off and die.

My wife just took a VICEROY title away from another through conquest. Dayum, lady! And now shes declaring war on Oxford! All while pregnant. Yikes! Raka doesnt need to declare any wars; his wife is doing it for him!

The baby was a girl, by the way, so I named her Lady Bicycle.
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Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun
Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise
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Eerieka
12/11/18 12:43:46 AM
#245:


I keep giving my brother DONKEY KONG to my marshals in hopes that hell become a great warrior, but my marshals keep dying and everytime I go find him a new teacher, hes LESS of a warrior. Come on, you motherfuckers, train him right! Right now hes 12, and hes Kind, Charitable, Humble, Content, and Just.

My pregnant steward was killed by peasants while collecting taxes. :(

Yavlad the 3rd died of food poisoning. :\ I am not amused. I was looking forward to a long line of Yavlads. Luckily, Yavlad the 2nd had a daughter! I will marry her to my cousin Raka and she can bear Yavlad the 4th.

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1575978106
It just came to my attention that the Basileus is a member of House Boardeight! And so have the last three! If nothing else, the Dynasty has found its way around. Tracing his lineage, he is a decendant of Tombolo the Fowler through his daughter Tomboletta. It happened long ago when a matrilineal marriage was made with a lady from House Boardeight and a lesser member of the Basileuss family and the Basileus died of scurvy and for some reason, this guy in a matrilineal marriage took over.

An imbecile in my court came of age and I decided to be nice and let him marry. The woman who came to my court was immediately more interested in Raka. Its not appropriate, woman!

A woman wants my help converting her lands. I WANT to do it, but I dont want my name being forced into being the Legendary I mean, its a cool title and all, but I already did it twice.

Zyx is aiming for the stars, the ambitious little brat! I betrothed him to a genius girl named Megurka, as well.

A fire destroyed a farmers shed and the farmer believe the Jarl of Zeeland was to blame because his soldiers were marching through and camping. Raka, being the wealthy man that he is, chose to pay for the farmers compensation out of his own pocket. Hes become Diligent!

Im gonna switch to a different focus before Rulership makes me stressed.

Oh, I got my title now. Im known as Raka the Great. Cool!
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Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun
Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise
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Eerieka
12/11/18 2:48:28 PM
#246:


Soemtimes the game wants you to be a dick and you cant do anything about it. Raka has no choice but to despise his imbecile brother because hes a coward.

The same woman who came to Raka a while ago asking to be converted approached again, and since I am Great now, I accepted.

Hahaha! Chancellor Thora did it! She convinced the Jarl of Agder to like me and now he voted for increased crown authority.

I just noticed that Yavlads daughter was named Katarina. In other words, I married off one member of my family named Raka to another member of my family named Katarina. Theyre like a mirror of the imperial family! Except this Katarina is a homosexual. So help me Thor, you better had a fucking child! I wont let the name of Yavlad die!

And now my Katarina is pregnant. Raka has gotten attracted to her pregnant body, but that hardly seemed appropriate.

Zyx is a paragon of patience. Papa Raka held him up before the whole court as an example of how great he is.

My seer converted a province. Ive noticed province conversion has been slow in this game. I think most of the AIs are setting their seers to hunt apostates.

Duchess Yrsa of Moray found evidence that a rotten egg in my land is plotting my downfall. Usually when this event fires, the one telling me about this is just making shit up. However Yrsa is my court physician, my hirdman, and has generally okay traits. Meanwhile the guy shes accusing looks like he might be a devil worshipper. Makes ya wanna go hmm. Well, devil worshipper he may be, but he voted for higher crown laws so I cant hate him that much.

Wife was pregnant. Named the boy DONKEY KONG just in case Zyx doesnt make it.
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Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun
Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise
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Eerieka
12/11/18 9:59:59 PM
#247:


Meanwhile, my brother DONKEY KONG came of age and, try as I might to make him a warrior, hes not very good. I took a picture of him because something about him actually reminds me of Donkey Kong. I dont even know.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1576425748

Raka raised a Runestone to honor his own Quickness. Toke carved these runes. Mmmhmm, bet he carved em while he was tokin, ya know what Im sayin?
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1576425764

Just as I was enjoying the +10 opinion from a Runestone, Consumption broke out in Sevede and quickly came to Scania. :\ SHUT THE GATES

Zyx was bitten by a snake this morning! The brave little fool keeps seeking out danger. I praised his bravery to the court.

The Jomsvikings offered me gold in exchange for building a fortress on a piece of land, Rhos, that I legit 100% forgot that I owned. It was something I took from a rebellious vassal and then didnt have away since I was at my desmese limit. Ill probably give it away next time I need to give away land. Anyway, by all means, Jomsvikings! Oh god what is this name? They constructed the Barony of Abergwyngregyn. When you take it apart syllable-by-syllable its not so bad, but when you first look at it, all you can think is fuck Welsh names.

Welp, brother DONKEY KONG has consumption. Throw him out!

The court phsysician, Duchess Yrsa is doing a great job. She healed my mother, also a woman named Yrsa. I praised her to the whole court.

Raka lost Gregarious. No more praising the physician to the court. :(

I built a hospital in Halland and upgraded the one in Scania to include a soup kitchen.

Zyx was torturing animals behind the stable! I talked him to him about the virtues of kindness. While he did not become kind, he at least stopped his monstrous ways with torturing.
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Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun
Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise
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Eerieka
12/12/18 2:45:07 AM
#248:


Raka is trying to get a good nights sleep but he is tormented by the horrible recurring nightmares of his people. The pleas for help and the hurtful words begin to get to him. I dont care about being Brave, Im not a warrior. I just want to survive this.

Katarina is pregnant. I noticed that she had a lack of funds after her war to expel Catholic holy orders from her lands. I gave her a gift of money to help her out.

A bunch of Norweigans revolted and now I get to revoke their titles. :) Among them was the Jarl of Agder. My Chancellor is about to get a nice new title!

Man, these rebels are dumb. Rebels will only spawn if their troop count is equal to yours. But they dont have boats and a lot of their troops are on Iceland and Faroe. Like, literally 4000 troops are stuck on islands.

Katarinas baby was born, and hes Quick! Since hes younger and expected to live longer, Ill name him Zyx and proclaim him my heir. The other Zyx is too old to rename, so Ill just live with two Zyxes.

The older Zyx has developed a habit for wild parties. Hes become Lustful.

I had the mapmode set to show diseases so I could raise my gates the second Consumption went away. Jesus that was hard to live through. I hate playing for long on any mapmode that isnt Realms.

Oof, my Spymaster had just turned a guy loyal and then he died in battle against some fucking mayor of a town called Flekkerfjord. Ill flekk his fjord, if you know what I mean.

The mere sight of Jarl Haesteinn fill Raka with contempt. But why tho? Dont duel the guy, just revoke his titles when he inevitably revolts.

Whoops, as I was clicking through siege messages, an event about emulating Pete Persnickity popped up and I said I wanted to be more like him. Raka is now cruel. >_>
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Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun
Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise
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Zyxyz0
12/12/18 3:29:20 AM
#249:


Eerieka posted...
Katarinas baby was born, and hes Quick! Since hes younger and expected to live longer, Ill name him Zyx and proclaim him my heir. The other Zyx is too old to rename, so Ill just live with two Zyxes.

"Zyxes" would be pronounced the same way as Zyxyz, so this checks out I suppose?
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Archive of my and others' playthrough/ranking topics, fanfiction recs, etc:
http://zyxyzarchive.x10host.com/
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Raka_Putra
12/12/18 10:22:58 AM
#250:


Well I can be cruel and still averse to wars I guess...
Also more drama with the lady might be nice :p but who knows how Katarina is feeling.
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Fuhlt nicht durch dich Sarastro Todesschmerzen,
So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr-- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehr.
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