Board 8 > Board 8 Wrasslin' League, a narrative simulation project with input &signups

(+) Yeah! (+)

*Three hours later, pouting as he walks back into the arena, the cyborg pats a stagehand on the shoulder.*

"Hey you, I want to you answer a question for me."

"Yes, Charlie?"

"I was told that I 'smell fat' over the phone when I had to talk to the children at the day-care center."

"....Yes, Charlie?"

"...Well?"

"Well wh- oooooh. No, no, Charlie, you don't smell fat over the phone."

"Thank you, Dono-"

"You do smell fat in person, though."

"! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *walks away crying*

"CHARLIE COME BACK I WAS KIDDING"
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Show #17

-The MANSION OF MADNESS welcomes eaed! Savage and eaed have a bit of a chat about Savage's (light) injury and Eaed's loss of the title. Things are going relatively smoothly, and Daniel Bryan comes out because he has a few words to say as well. He has tried to support B8WL as best he could. He supported Maniac's bid for King of the Ring, he supported Eaed's push to retain over Cena, and he has fought hard against the Men of Low Moral Fiber. And you know what it got any of them? Cena's champ, Maniac's doing nothing, and the MLMF are still injuring whoever they damn well please. B8WL is WEAK, and Bryan is tired of fighting for them! As for Randy Savage, he deserved what he got, and Bryan is gonna do him one better at Feast or Fired! Bryan leaves to a...mixed reaction actually, as he's still Daniel Bryan, heel or no.

-Vince certainly isn't about to send out the top guys with Bryan on the loose, so we're getting Kenshin and Clegane.

-Match: Kenshin v. Clegane
Clegane almost squashes Kenshin, but eventually Kenshin gets a better read on him and starts countering some stuff. It's a good fight, but Clegane eventually catches Kenshin and chucks him over the top! Kenshin lands hard on the outside, and can't quite make it back before the 10 count. Clegane seems awfully cocky for somebody who didn't win in the ring!
Winner by countout: Clegane

-Match: Mario v. Incineroar w/Guzma
Incineroar gets his big entrance after getting jobber'd a couple weeks ago. Mario isn't a fan, and goes right in on him. Incineroar is perfectly capable of retaliating in kind, though! Incineroar gets the upper hand and tries to wear Mario down with submissions, but Mario shows some real tenacity and stays in the match. Incineroar goes for the Malicious Moonsault instead...and Mario tries to rush with a Mario Tornado! Both moves connect, and both fighters go down...but Incineroar crawls on top for a big win. Sonic consoles Mario on the way to the back.
Winner: Incineroar

-Incineroar is ready to join the upper echelons of wrestling history. He's interested in that Taker guy.

-Match: Taker and david v. UCA Champ Bison and Mundo
For probably the first time in either man's short B8WL career, Taker and david look halfway competent! Both teams show surprising fluidity, considering they were just thrown together almost randomly. Taker and david get a combination Hell's Gate and UCA Special!....but Mundo gets to the ropes somehow! Mundo makes the tag, and Bison comes in hot, breaking out of a Tombstone attempt. Taker knees him in the gut and goes for it again...hitting it this time! 1....2....3! Taker makes a belt gesture at the downed Bison.
Winners: Taker and David

-Eaed doesn't like Bryan's attitude but he DOES have some decent points, and he blames B8WL leadership. Titles defended in battle royals? Having to lay down for Cena right after winning the belt? Replacing Cueto with the even jerkier Vince? This place has a dark future, but at least Cueto doesn't have a doofus son-in-law to take over when he dies!
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-Match: Eaed v. Pentagon
The former champ starts out strong against the #1 contender, but Pentagon sneaks in a thumb to the eye....and snaps Eaed's arm! It's not BROKEN, but he's not able to continue tonight. Looks like he's in the doghouse!
Winner by stoppage: Pentagon

-Pentagon thinks that snapping arms is too easy, even against people who do more than whine about management. Let's up the ante at Feast or Fired....the title+costar match with Cena should be HARDCORE!

-Cena and Rock are out first for the next match, but when KoopAWESOME come out, they show a little tribute video for Bowser Jr's "unjust" victimization at the hands of Rock. It's pretty over the top!

-Match: Boots to Asses v. KoopAWESOME
Cena is in no mood for shenanigans, and dang near solos. Rock eventually gets the tag, and then the fight spills to the outside for a bit. Rock snags a mic and commentates some of the ensuant chaos, then gets Miz alone in the ring....Sharpshooter! .....Miz actually taps to it!
Winners: Boots to Asses

-Monika comes out after the match! You'll have to insert your own flavor here because I'm not that far in DDLC yet, but she has issues with the Rock, specifically with the People's Elbow!

-Bang points out to Vince that Sonic's inhuman speed makes him rather unfair to fight against! Vince agrees...henceforth, Sonic must wrestle with ankle weights! That'll even out the playing field a bit.

-Match: Sonic w/Tails v. Bang
Understandably, Sonic does not appreciate the crimping of his style. He brings out some fisticuffs in a bowling-shoe-ugly fight, while demonstrating that he's still one of the more agile folks around, even handicapped as he is. Sonic gets a fairly quick win.
Winner: Sonic

...nope, we're not done yet! Mundo runs in on Sonic! Tired and weighed down, Sonic has a lot of trouble, but he DOES have Tails handy for assistance. Sonic gets the upper hand, but misses a Spin Dash! Sonic smashes into the corner, and Mundo beats on him a bit more for good measure. Bang comes out and hi-fives Mundo to close the show! Collusion!

SHOW 18: FEAST OR FIRED
Mario+Sonic v. Mundo+Bang
GRUDGE: Bryan v. Macho
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Rock
FEAST OR FIRED:
UCA TITLE: Bison (c) v. Taker
B8WL TITLE+JACKIE CHAN CO-STAR HARDCORE: Cena (c) v. Penta
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Good to see myself not jobbing.
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Monika probably takes issue with the fact The Rock is not very technically sound. He gets the job done with either too much flash (Elbow), too much brute force (Rock Bottom), and even his submisdion prowess lacks finesse (Sharpshooter).

Monika's Wrestling Tip of the Day: have a well rounded, adaptable approach in the ring. But be sure to study the TECHNIQUE, so the proper amount of effeciency, effort, and control is brought to every manuever!
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Bump Me
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By the way, am I on a waitlist for character entry? Just checking. God only knows what my UCA Finn Balor/Bray Wyatt esque character could do in weirdness like this.
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Yep!
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Thank you. I'll be right back. I'm...gonna practice.

*does shifty eyes and finds nearest person to practice choking skills and stalking*
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:D
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Bump
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thanks
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tag
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yay
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https://rave.dj/9JLgUYUwHHIdCA
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Passing thoughts with a cyborg:

CPU: "...Futaba-san."
Futaba: "Yes?"
CPU: "If you had the option to see your health bar in your day to day life, by turning on your 'HUD'. so to speak. would you?
Futaba: "..." *Presses the off button on the cyborg.*
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https://www.rave.dj/7ntd7VWqBPcXwg

B8WL PRESENTS FEAST OR FIRED

-Incineroar and Guzma welcome us to the Heel Hour, with tonight's guest, Bangladesh DuPree. She and Incineroar commiserate about the lack of respect they have gotten from B8WL, and tonight, she and Mundo are going to go out and take that respect by FORCE when they beatdown yesteryear's legends, Mario and Sonic! Vince comes out! He agrees that these guys were undervalued by the previous administration. Bang and Mundo will get their shot next, but he has a special gift for Incineroar...Bowser's Master of Taybles title!

-GRUDGE MATCH: Mario and Sonic w/Peach and Tails v. Bangladesh and Mundo
Bang starts with an arm twist on Mario, but a Mario Tornado gets him out. Mario plays to the crowd a bit, only to turn around into a big discus clothesline. Mundo gets the tag, and a Mario Tornado of his own; tag to Sonic. Sonic rushes into a Mundo dropkick, but tags back to Mario before more damage can be done. ArmBAR on Mundo, but he punches his way out of it and tags Bang. Mario rolls into a flying punch, then tosses Bang into his corner for a doubleteam. Sonic stomps a mudhole in her and *runs* it dry! Mario cuts off Mundo and Sonic pins...for 3! The announcers mock Bang/Mundo's failure.
Winners: Mario and Sonic

-Daniel Bryan comes out and shows us a low-light video of Savage getting injured repeatedly and relying on Liz. He's just one of the many people Bryan is tired of trying to support!

-GRUDGE MATCH: "Macho Man" Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth v. Daniel Bryan
Savage runs in and tosses Bryan into the corner, kicking him in the head as the bell rings. Savage backs off for a sec, and Bryan gets him in the Yes Lock! Savage gets to the rope, but gets a chop to the chest for good measure. Bryan goes right back to the Yes Lock even though Savage is still in the ropes! He has till five...but keeps going anyway! That's a DQ! Bryan is livid even though he has to have known it was coming!
Winner by DQ: Savage

-Both men are upset by this, prompting a Vince appearance. They can settle this with a rematch at [whenever I wind up booking it- probably next PPV]!

-GRUDGE MATCH: The Rock v. Bowser
Mastery of Taybles might randomly be out of the picture, but this is still a rather personal feud being settled, after Bowser Jr.'s involvement! ...but before the match can start, the Men of Low Moral Fiber run in on Rock! He gets the boots put to him, and then they roll him in the ring for the match to start. Bowser is perfectly willing to accept the advantage. Rock battles back with a series of punches, and dodges a corner tackle. Sharpshooter on Bowser! Bowser powers out of it, and when Rock comes off the ropes, Bowser hits a powerslam! Bowser gloats as he locks in a headlock, then distracts the ref while Bowser Jr. appears from under the ring to smack Rock with a boxing glove. Bowser....hits the People's Elbow! 1.....2.....3! It just looks so much more impactful than Rock's....
Winner: Bowser

-Jason Statham comes out to ask Bowser a few questions. He puts over Bowser's DOMINANCE, and suspects he didn't even need MLMF's help! This gets Bowser right in the ego- of course he didn't! In fact, he wants to fight CPU for stealing his thunder!
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-FEAST OR FIRED: Maniac, Kenshin, Miz, Panthera, David, Incineroar, Clegane, Kora, Eddv, CPU
Incineroar immediately grabs Maniac in a hammerlock, then PITCHES him at the field hard enough that he is able to scramble up the corner and grab a case before anybody can react! Well then! (Case #1)

Panthera hits a Cat Eyes on the downed CPU. Clegane levels Kora with a double axehandle and follows up with a fist drop. Miz takes two Ryutsuisen in a row! Maniac chucks David hard into the corner, and hits a mean backbreaker on Eddv. David gives Eddv a knee drop for good measure, then spells UCA with his fingers. CPU gets a thumb in Panthera's eye. Kora gives Clegane a boot scrapin', then gets in a tiff with his buddy Eddv. Miz battles back against Kenshin, but gets a sakabato to the face. Maniac slams David into Miz! Maniac gives David a chop and tries to climb, but gets pulled down.

Kora has Eddv in a chinlock because EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF. Panthera's cats are swarming CPU! Miz gets in a hit or two on CPU as well, before stopping a climb by Panthera. Panthera gets them both in an arm breaker, but they stop a second attempt anyway. One of the cats finds a mic and meows encouragement, but CPU grabs the mic and cracks Panthera over the head with it. Kenshin rallies the crowd as he battles Clegane. Maniac is up the pole, but David manages to slow him down with chops to the back. Kora tosses Eddv to the floor, then shakes a pole, causing the case to dislodge and fall on Eddv's head! The refs hang the case back up, but while they're busy, Kora low blows Panthera, giving him no competition to retrieve the second case! (Case #2)

Clegane bashes Kenshin's head into Panthera's, then follows up with a headlock on Kenshin. Ref breaks it up because it looks more like a choke. Miz clotheslines CPU. Maniac powerbombs David, but is too tired to try to climb, even when Eddv grabs David's foot. David shakes free and pulls Maniac off the ropes. Clegane clotheslines Kenshin. Miz hits CPU's Starship Pain on him, and it somehow isn't completely terrible! Miz puts on a Figure Four for a bit just to be The Miz, and then grabs the closest case! (Case #3)

Maniac drops a knee on David's throat, geeze. Clegane rakes Kenshin's back. Maniac finds the mic from earlier, and pops CPU one with it before hitting a DDT. Clegane with a big slam on Kenshin, then a jawbreaker! CPU pulls Maniac's hair, but then turns around into David's End of Days! Sandor has Kenshin in trouble....but out come Cena and Rock to make the save! Maniac and David are scuffling, and CPU hits Starship Pain on both! Twice, in fact, raising questions of why he couldn't just get the last case instead. He chokes David for a bit, but then misses a clothesline and gets a back rake from David and a kick from Maniac for his trouble. CPU gives a big boot to both men! David goes for an arm twist, but CPU reverses it into a neck snap. (not, like, actually breaking it, just a twist) Rolling Senton on Maniac. CPU climbs, but David and Maniac pull him down...into a double back elbow on both of them. End of Days on CPU!

Clegane is still battling Boots to Asses. Kenshin takes them all out with a diving attack, and decides to see if Panthera is still alive. Cena and Rock decide to wander off, having softened up Clegane a bit in advance of Penta's title shot. David reverses a CPU Figure Four. Ryukansen on Panthera. David goes for a fist drop on CPU, but CPU dodges. CPU tries to do rolling Germans on David, but after the first, David reverses into a slam of his own. Kenshin gets a few more hits in on Panthera, but Panthera fires back in kind! David gets CPU in a Full Nelson.
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very happy this is still alive
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Ryushosen on Panthera. CPU breaks out of the Full Nelson and gives David a few elbows to the head. Kenshin keeps up his Panthera offense. CPU gives David MORE elbows, but David fires back with shots to the gut. CPU goes Old School into a splash! Ryushoesn on Panthera again, and Eddv comes back from whatever he's been doing this whole time (arguing with Kora???) and knees Panthera in the back. Panthera rewards Eddv with a Flying Crossbody. David rams CPU into the turnbuckle, and the ref pulls David back. Panthera gets a chinlock on Kenshin. Kenshin slips out and reverses into...also a chinlock! Panthera tells Kenshin that Trigun was better, and that really gets under the dude's skin! Kenshin wrenches back on the chinlock, and beckons Clegane over for some free hits. Clegane obliges, but also tosses Kenshin into the corner. David bounces CPU's head off the opposite corner a few times.

Kenshin and Panthera are still in resthold city, with occasional detours to battojutsu township. Animal control comes by and runs off the cats! David has CPU in a sleeper. Maniac breaks it up, only for CPU to head scissors him. CPU finally notices that his stablemates have been squabbling for the past half hour, and goes over to convince Kora to go to the back. CPU leaves with him, so maybe we'll get some new pairings, like, ever! (this is the exact opposite of one of the big problems I had last battle royal-type-thing)

Kenshin exploits a weak resthold, and gets out and kicks Panthera in the head. Kenshin slams Clegane, but Clegane pops up and socks Kenshin in the jaw! Kenshin wriggles out of a Clegane bearhug with an elbow, then hits a Ryushosen on Eddv.

HOUSE RULES HOTFIX: It now takes half as much to attempt to win, because this is getting dumb and everybody's at 0 right now anyway.

Panthera gets a headlock on Clegane, but he powers out. Maniac lands a Bionic Elbow on Kenshin, but Kenshin retaliates with a Sunset Flip. Maniac starts choking Kenshin out, but Maniac gets out with a back rake and ref assistance. Kenshin then runs afoul of Eddv, who rams him into the turnbuckle. Clegane splashes Panthera into another corner. Clegane chucks Panthera into the middle of the ring....then climbs up and grabs the final case! Sweet merciful Seven! (Case #4)

-Now, let's see what everybody won! Incineroar is up first, once he wakes up from the nap he had time to take backstage. He gets to HIRE A NEW WORKER! He will bring in a man who well understands conspiracies....R-TRUTH! Inside Kora's.....is the brand new HARDCORE TITLE! Miz gets.....a B8WL Title Shot! That's the feast, so.....Sandor Clegane....YERR FIRRREEEDDDDD!

-Mundo says that Clegane was set up, just like so many others in this dumb company! At least Bison's gonna retain.

-UCA TITLE GRUDGE MATCH: M. Bison (c) v. The Undertaker
Having learned nothing from the non-finish last time, Bison opens with some Psycho Power, getting a stern warning. Taker gives Bison a rope burn and an uppercut to the chin. Taker may be a renowned striker, but Bison decides two can play at that game, and throws some bombs right back. Scissors Kick....Taker catches it and delivers a ring-shaping suplex! Bison comes back with a tackle, but also takes a boot to the head after. Both men are down, but Taker's up first, and delivers a clothesline. Hell's Gate! Bison tries to get out, but Taker just rolls him into the mat. It's locked in....Bison taps! Taker poses with the title.

-Vince is shown asking if he can go home yet, but we still have the title match!
Winner and NEW UCA Champ: Taker
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-B8WL Title HARDCORE or actually Falls Count Anywhere if this writeup is gonna make sense: John Cena (c) v. Pentagon Jr.
Penta intercepts Cena outside the ring, and Cena slams him on the concrete! Cena plays to the crowd, but Penta steals a walker from a stunt grandma and whacks Cena with it. They brawl into the crowd...and into the women's restroom, where Penta gets a swirly. Cena tries to climb onto a ledge, but Penta grabs his feet...so Cena whips him into the wall with his LEG STRENGTH! Cena jumps down...with a Stunner for some reason! Cena grabs a camera from a nearby cameraman...but shades of Dean Ambrose, it explodes in his face for no reason! Penta comes over to followup....but Cena grabs him! AA onto a floor speaker! 1......2.....3!
Winner: Cena

-Cena is celebrating....NO CHANCE, no that's whatcha got! Vince informs Cena that he assaulted a B8WL cameraman earlier! Even if this is a Hardcore match, he can't sanction the endangerment of company employees, plus he just doesn't like Cena anyway! This match is a DQ, and Pentagon will get another shot in the near future!
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New cycle: You may nominate up to three celebs!

Next PPV: A regular PPV, which in UCA style might not have a name until something interesting is set up for it.

SHOW 19
Mario hosts
Non-title: Taker v. Bowser
Boots to Asses v. Incineroar+Truth
HARDCORE TITLE: Kora (c) v. Eddv
David v. Maniac v. CPU
Panthera v. Kenshin
Miz v. Pentagon

SHOW 20

SHOW 21: PPV
GRUDGE: Macho v. Bryan
GRUDGE: Bowser v. CPU
B8WL: Cena (c) v. Penta v. Miz
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Quick backstage interview with a sleepy cyborg:

Bob: "Charles."
CPU: "...Yes, Bob?"
Bob: "You know what I'm going to ask, and you look like you need a month-long nap, so... wanna share your thoughts?"
CPU: "Not.... (Yawns, stretches) particularly, no, but might as well get this out of the way so I can sleep the idiocy off." (Lifts five fingers, lowers the first one.) "First and most importantly, congratulations to one of my partners to their new title! Not my sorta deal as ya know, but can't say he didn't work hard to earn the bloody thing. Proud of him, not gonna speak FOR him, however."

(Lowers second.) "...Someone has the option to hire anyone they want, and they hire R-Truth. I'd apologise for what I'm about to say, because I genuinely do like R-Truth, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is why Popplio is Sun's best starter. She's a tad goofy, yes, but at least she has a working brain in her skull."

(Lowers third.) "As much as I don't like Bang being brought down by it, I do appreciate being able to guess who's not going to win by listening to who Mundo endorses."

(Lowers fourth) *Grabs a plushie feline, and punts it out a nearby window.* "Vash the Stampede is a *pansy, and Outlaw Star was better than Trigun.* Both are still worse than RK, though."

(Lowers the fifth and final finger.) "...Bowser wishes to fight... *me* for stealing his thunder, does he? Odd, last time I looked I wasn't his idiot son, a 2D star-themed jester, a feathered combatant or whatever the hell *Smithy* was supposed to be, but I'm always up for a challenge from a worthy opponent, and I can't say Bower's anything less than that. ...Considering this company, it's probably bound to be something as ridiculous as a Rule 63 match between Peachowser and whatever a genderflipped me would be called, especially considering that damned Super Crown that's been going around..." *CPU muses to himself, muttering things like 'Can't believe Sting-Miz didn't figure that out....' then he waves his hand* "Can I go now? As tired as anyone else after that Feast or Fired match."

Bob: "One last thing."
CPU: "...Yes?"
Bob: "...Why didn't you go for the last briefcase?"
CPU: "...At what point have I ever shown an interest in a potential title or title match? ...And... hindsight being 20/20, that... would've been the Fired case, so dodged a bullet there... possibly in poor taste, after what happened with Telltale Combat a few weeks back, but whatcha gonna do, right? ...Oddly fitting considering his origin, though. May I go now?"
Bob: "You may, thank you for your time."
CPU: "The pleasure is-" *falls over as he falls asleep.*

(...Celebs. ...Kermit the Frog, Aisha Clan Clan, Mariel Gullwhacker)
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That was quite the match.

I'm coming for you, CPU.
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Three celebs...hmm

Khabib (UFC)
Eddie Brock (Venom)
Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil)

Hope they are viable
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Tom Bombadil posted...

Cena grabs a camera from a nearby cameraman...but shades of Dean Ambrose, it explodes in his face for no reason! Penta comes over to followup....but Cena grabs him! AA onto a floor speaker! 1......2.....3!
Winner: Cena

Cena doesn't even sell bullshit finishes!
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https://rave.dj/FT2Qg9UNCyBDIw
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It's like everyone knew the last case was bad so none wanted it.
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tonight is an outside chance
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Noooope
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B8WL was planning on having a show last night, but then someone discovered it was the guy driving the Hummer back in WCW and it had to go into hiding until it turned out someone else was the real driver anyway
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https://rave.dj/aX68PCnpTuuXFA
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Bump
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https://rave.dj/ueS_35VEwSKpQg

...'The Truth Still Burns'? I dunno. ._.'
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we will get there
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-bump-
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I think tomorrow? Maybe even tonight.
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Today unless something weird happens

which seems to be commonplace when I call things
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Tom Bombadil posted...

something weird happens

so funny story it's been a few years since I started a new job and I vastly underestimated how much friggin' paperwork it involves

instead, a discussion question!!

Should I give priority to B8ers who want to join? In a perfect world I'd keep it an evenish mix of fiction/wrestling/b8, but I feel kinda bad for folks like Strife who are following along but will take a super long time to filter through the queue at the current rate. I could add B8ers before adding non-b8ers (currently it's an even random chance between the three categories) or I could just go ahead and throw Boko/Scare/Strife in for the lulz.
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Honestly, yeaaah. More interest they show, higher chance they get in is a good way to handle it, I feel. ^_^

also it amuses me when more people get in before Goku
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https://gyazo.com/4d89beedc4247606b5e15b968f86c46f
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Show #19

-Mario welcomes us to-a the Mushroom Kingdom, with special guest Vince McMahon! McMahon cuts a rambling promo about the lack of respect he and Cueto get around here. He goes on for a while, boring the fans, until Cena comes out and gives him an AA for crossing him at FoF!

-Non-title: UCA Champ Taker v. Bowser
Bowser squabbles with some fans on the way in. Taker sells Bowser's offense like a bazooka, but fights back with a choke...Last Ride! Cover, but the ref misses it while dealing with a Boo. The Boo is sent away, but steals Taker's hat. Taker chokeslams Bowser to the outside! Bowser reverses Taker's attempt to roll him into the ring, but whiffs a Bowser Crush. Bowser hits his down throw...THERE'S the Bowser Crush, for a three count!
Winner: Bowser

-Bowser talks about how the UCA is meaningless- just look at this paper champion he wrecked!

-Match: Boots to Asses (B8WL Champ Cena and Rock) v. Incineroar and Truth w/Guzma
It's R-Truth's debut! The heels are too busy posing to hear the bell, and get rushed. Cena gets an early STF on Truth, but he breaks it when Guzma throws a Rock at Cena. Rock gets a tag, works the crowd, and...immediately tags back out. Incineroar cuts in, lays out Cena, and then returns to make an easy tag. Incineroar gets to the ropes off a Rock Sharpshooter, but unfortunately it's Cena's corner, and Cena tags in and stomps Incineroar before he can get up. Big LARIATOOOO from Incineroar! Both men are down. Incineroar tries to crawl for the tag, but Cena's got him by the legs...and pulls him into an AA! 1....2....3!
Winners: Cena and Rock

-Afterwards, Vince pops up on the tron, and apologizes for his treatment of Cena. He wants to make peace! Or at least not get any more finishers.

-Hardcore Title: Korayashi (c) v. Eddv w/Caelus
Tension in the ranks, as we see our first match for the new title! Kora flouts the belt at the booing fans. We start with a simple wristlock on Eddv, who just powers Kora up, does a couple squats, and drops him. Caelus hands Eddv a tool box from under the ring, and Eddv clocks Kora with it. Kora shakes it off...and Spears Eddv! Kora finds a wrench in the toolbox, and belabors Eddv a bit with it. Northern Lights Suplex on Eddv! Eddv rolls out, but catches Kora with a backbreaker when he follows. Eddv grabs a fan's coffee and throws it in Kora's face, then follows up with a chair to the back. Kora catches Eddv napping with a slam on the floor! 1.....2....3!
Winner and STILL Champion: Kora

-Vince comes out and encourages Kora and Eddv to shake hands. They do so, as CPU approves, and it looks like we're friends again.

-Taker heard Bowser's promo, which was big talk for a man who left him able to stand. UCA is fine. David's a good guy.

-Elimination: david v. King Maniac v. CPU
These three fought each other a lot in Feast or Fired, but didn't come away with anything. Maniac dominates the early stages, but appears to pull something in a CPU arm twist, and is later hit by david's End of Days. Maniac hits kinda low on CPU! The MLMF at ringside strongly object, and rush the ring! KoopAWESOME run in in response, and a brawl breaks out! The ref throws the match out, awarding it to david, who was just kinda off to the side waiting for order to be restored.
Winner by Double DQ (I guess?): David
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-Match: Panthera v. Kenshin
Kenshin didn't dang come to play tonight- he rips into Panthera. It spills to the outside, where he even takes a shot or two with the sakabato! The ref takes it away...and Panthera grabs it and lays Kenshin out with a shot to the throat! noooo panthera caught the questionable face disease after all but anyway he wins.
Winner: Panthera

-Miz v. Pentagon Jr.
Bowser tries to run in on Penta before the match, but gets chucked off the stage! Miz checks on his problematic buddy, and both men get a Lanza for their trouble! It's all Penta for an extended period, but Bowser Jr. shows up to break his momentum! It's not enough though, and Penta puts Miz away with a big suplex, making a big statement in advance of the 3-way dance for the title!
Winner: Penta
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Haha even I'm becoming a dirty face
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SHOW 20
Eaed hosts
Sonic v. Bison
Macho v. Bang
Bryan v. Maniac
Boots to Asses v. Penta+Mundo
NHB: Panthera v. Kenshin
Maniac+KoopAWESOME v. MLMF

SHOW 21: PPV
GRUDGE: Macho v. Bryan
GRUDGE: Bowser v. CPU
B8WL: Cena (c) v. Penta v. Miz
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A win's a win!
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"...Do you have *any* idea how hard it is to be a heel with all of the crap faces there are around here? I feel like I'm fuckin' Icarus in an entire federation of Sean Waltman. I had to get a tribal rendition tattoo of that scene of Spidey from Infinity War on the left side of my face! I have to spoil the end of books audience members are reading because they can't be bothered to actually watch the matches! I had to convince Konami to patch out PT!"

*Camera pulls back to reveal CPU standing on a bridge, holding up a struggling but probably artificial cat*

"For god's sake, I'm reduced to recreating scenes from bloody *Anchorman* to try to get the asshole heel heat!"

*Walks to the side of the bridge and puts the kitty.*

"This is how I have to roll now! You people have *no* respect for how hard it is to try to get boos in this hellhole..."

*Sighs and stalks off, muttering to himself.*
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heh
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Don't get an icarus tattoo

Its not worth it.
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'Sorry, had the existential crisis paired with a philosophical meltdown over the concept of time aleady, was too late to not get an Icarus tattoo, which is odd because the concept of time, and hours specifically, is an inane myth that we made to restrict ourselves from what we're truly capable of, which leads to simultaneously having too much time, while also guaranteed to have finite i.e. too little time due to the fact that we will all eventually die.

But we make it harder on ourselves by regimenting the time in the 'day' by creating 'hours' 'seconds', and 'minutes' to make our already short lives into overly regimented routines because we need to use those concepts to both make our lives worth living and to make them make some sort of 'sense' because *without* this stupid concept that we made up EVERYTHING IS MADNESS, SO WHY THE FUCK NOT GET A ICARUS TATTOO, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.'

*breaks down in freshman college level philosophy tears*
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