Poll of the Day > What's the appropriate amount of time

(+) Yeah! (+)

To let someone grieve?

A girl I had a big crush on in high school just posted on social media that her boyfriend died yesterday. They'd been dating for like 5 years and have 1 kid. I know there's gonna be a extended period where she's going to mourn pretty heavily and not want to have anything to do with anyone except her family for a while, but eventually she is going to want companionship again, right? What's an acceptable amount of time before trying to throw my hat in the ring? 3-4 months? Anyone with any experience on this your input is appreciated!

Lol going for the death rebound eh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY" data-time="

Maybe go after a different girl.

And how close were you two? Were you actually friends? Do you still talk?

the rule of thumb is one month for every year. Adding a kid to the equation means that you will NEVER be in the right from the view of the kid.

Feel free to make introductions sooner, and be suportive, but don't try to make a move for a while.

Honestly, she'll let you know.
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She has a kid. It's not worth it.
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Just don't, holy shit at this fucking guy

OhhhJa posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY" data-time="

The funeral crasher scene from Wedding Crashers was the first thing I thought of too. LOL

I have several questions:

- How long have you known her?
- Have you seriously been waiting this whole time for her to become available?
- Do you really want to date somebody who has a kid?
- Do you really think there isn't anybody else out there?

And that's not getting into how tacky the whole situation is. There are other girls out there for you. And if you don't believe that to be true, then you shouldn't be trying to date anybody, including her, until you fix whatever is wrong with yourself that makes you undatable.

Chewster posted...

Have you seriously been waiting this whole time for her to become available?

I can just imagine the TC checking Facebook every day to see if this girl and her BF have broken up. When he saw that the BF had died, I can imagine the TC actually cheering about it, especially given what he said below.

TheGuiltySpark posted...

A girl I had a big crush on in high school just posted on social media that her boyfriend died yesterday.

People seem to hate kids or something. Personally, I've never really wanted kids, but I don't think having a kid is deal breaker. Especially if you're just dating... Though, the grieving period is definitely different for everyone. Getting closer to her depends on how close you already are. Hard to tell...
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I can see being open to dating somebody with kids as you get older and your dating pool therefore has a higher chance of having kids, but we're talking 30's. If the TC is that old it just makes it extra pathetic that this is a crush from way back in high school.

Chewster posted...

I can see being open to dating somebody with kids as you get older and your dating pool therefore has a higher chance of having kids, but we're talking 30's. If the TC is that old it just makes it extra pathetic that this is a crush from way back in high school.

That's true. Though, if it was a crush that started in high school, but never went away because they are still in close proximity most days, that could also be a thing. Like he could have dated other people and stuff. Possibly. But I have no idea. I don't know much about TC. But I get that either way, it seems kinda bad...
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LinkPizza posted...

People seem to hate kids or something. Personally, I've never really wanted kids, but I don't think having a kid is deal breaker. Especially if you're just dating... Though, the grieving period is definitely different for everyone. Getting closer to her depends on how close you already are. Hard to tell...

Having one kid isnt a big deal but more than that and I think it would be for me

OhhhJa posted...

LinkPizza posted...

People seem to hate kids or something. Personally, I've never really wanted kids, but I don't think having a kid is deal breaker. Especially if you're just dating... Though, the grieving period is definitely different for everyone. Getting closer to her depends on how close you already are. Hard to tell...

Having one kid isnt a big deal but more than that and I think it would be for me

My SO has two. Haha. But I can understand having multiple. 4 seems to be too many for people. There are a few who can deal with 3. Two is bad at all really. 1 seems fairly normal at older ages. But I can understand not wanted to date someone with more than one. Though, with age, dating someone without one seems to be harder. Well, not as much these days...
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Lol. TC abandoned thread immediately.

Y'all been trolled.
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SunWuKung420 posted...

Lol. TC abandoned thread immediately.

Y'all been trolled.

Nope. We're just having a different conversation now. That's all. Also, he may be back. I posted topics and have then gone to work. And then I will come back to read responses. Either way, this is our new topic now... probably...
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SunWuKung420 posted...

Lol. TC abandoned thread immediately.

Y'all been trolled.

Being trolled would require my feathers getting ruffled. This was just funny. But yeah I'm pretty sure it's a joke topic

It could be a joke/troll topic but it's not at all far-fetched that somebody who posts on GameFAQs would actually think like this

TC can write a book about this story later and call it The Guilty Spark.

The story ends after five years, though.

dun dun dun
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Chewster posted...

I have several questions:

- How long have you known her?
- Have you seriously been waiting this whole time for her to become available?
- Do you really want to date somebody who has a kid?
- Do you really think there isn't anybody else out there?

And that's not getting into how tacky the whole situation is. There are other girls out there for you. And if you don't believe that to be true, then you shouldn't be trying to date anybody, including her, until you fix whatever is wrong with yourself that makes you undatable.

Known her about 6 1/2 years. more than an acquaintance, less than a good friend. We hung out in the same social circles.
No, I haven't been waiting for her specifically. She was never available when we hung out, so I never tried. We're both a little older, even if I don't date her then it's still a 50/50 that any woman I try to date has a kid if not multiple. It's not that I don't think there's anyone else out there, it's just that I'm now busy with a career and building a life. I don't have all the time in the world to do a lot of first dates and weeding through potential candidates. I know her and her personality, and she's always been a really loyal person with a good heart.

Chewster posted...

It could be a joke/troll topic but it's not at all far-fetched that somebody who posts on GameFAQs would actually think like this

This. Some people are just too quick to cry, "Troll!"

I remember on another board awhile back there was a guy who was so obsessed with a girl that he was basically stalking her. People were calling him a troll and/or saying he was making it up because it didn't seem real. Then he started posting the pictures he had taken of her and links to her social media and stuff... It got real creepy real fast... and he ended up banned.