Poll of the Day > I need some assistance with something that I'm ill equipped to handle

(+) Yeah! (+)

I dont want this to devolve into a topic where people are saying stuff like that happened and being typical e-jerks. Im not here to argue and I dont care if u believe it, or not, but I need to know what to do here.

My friend has just told me her husband is raping her. Aside from the rapes, hes being tougher than usual in general. If he wants her to move he pushes her, etc. She WONT TAKE ACTION, because she doesnt want to ruin her marriage.

I genuinely dont know what to do here. Shes on meds for like bi-polar and stuff but this all seems to be legit. She doesnt want me to intervene because she feels itll get better when he gets a new job (apparently it all started when he got fired some months back).

She lives in Florida, I live in DE, so who do I even call? Should I try to message her sister on instagram? Should I just call the police in Florida?

Again if u have something stupid to say please just this once, keep it to urself and advise me.
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I (or people I know) haven't gone through something like this so I have no exact frame of reference... but I'm a Legal Moralist and since rape is illegal I would have immediately informed the police without a second thought.

But that's just me.
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Lokarin posted...

I (or people I know) haven't gone through something like this so I have no exact frame of reference... but I'm a Legal Moralist and since rape is illegal I would have immediately informed the police without a second thought.

But that's just me.

Jeez I dont even know what police to call. I dont even know where specifically in Florida she lives. But yeah I guess thats what I should do
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Could also report anonymously to some women's shelter or something? There should be tons of those type of things out there.
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If she doesn't want to say anything because marriage etc, and you tell the cops, here's the most likely outcome:

1) Cops look into it, ask her, she tells them nothing is wrong.

2) As soon as they're gone, he beats the shit out of her for almost getting him in trouble.

3) She immediately stops telling you anything, because she blames you for talking, and you lose any chance you might have to convince her to act on her own.

Domestic violence is a messy tangle. And to be honest, a message board about video games is probably one of the worst possible places you could be asking for advice.

Track down actual domestic abuse-related websites or organizations that deal with victimized wives on a regular basis and are far more equipped to relate to the psychology and realities of the situation than any of us here, and start asking them for advice.


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Ferarri619 posted...

Could also report anonymously to some women's shelter or something? There should be tons of those type of things out there.

Again though, Im not sure who to approach, and Im doing it against her will so what if she denies it after I report it?

Would the cops or whoever be pissed at me or think I made it up?
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

If she doesn't want to say anything because marriage etc, and you tell the cops, here's the most likely outcome:

1) Cops look into it, ask her, she tells them nothing is wrong.

2) As soon as they're gone, he beats the shit out of her for almost getting him in trouble.

3) She immediately stops telling you anything, because she blames you for talking, and you lose any chance you might have to convince her to act on her own.

Domestic violence is a messy tangle. And to be honest, a message board about video games is probably one of the worst possible places you could be asking for advice.

Track down actual domestic abuse-related websites or organizations that deal with victimized wives on a regular basis and are far more equipped to relate to the psychology and realities of the situation than any of us here, and start asking them for advice.

Okay. But youre right, this is waaay outta my paygrade. I think ima contact her family on instagram, cuz all I can see is me making the situation worse.
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DrProfessor posted...

Okay. But youre right, this is waaay outta my paygrade. I think ima contact her family on instagram, cuz all I can see is me making the situation worse.

How do we know that her family would handle it properly though? I think that could potentially make it worse too.
As PO said, contacting websites who specialize in domestic abuse would be best. They would take into account all the potential shit that could happen.
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Ferarri619 posted...

DrProfessor posted...

Okay. But youre right, this is waaay outta my paygrade. I think ima contact her family on instagram, cuz all I can see is me making the situation worse.

How do we know that her family would handle it properly though? I think that could potentially make it worse too.
As PO said, contacting websites who specialize in domestic abuse would be best. They would take into account all the potential shit that could happen.

Idk but this is too heavy for me and Im like, stressing out. Ima tell her sister, cuz I cant handle this.

Ima lock the topic. Thank you to everyone that answered.
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Just make sure the sister doesn't put her in this type of situation.
ParanoidObsessive posted...

2) As soon as they're gone, he beats the shit out of her for almost getting him in trouble.

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Ferarri619 posted...

Just make sure the sister doesn't put her in this type of situation.
ParanoidObsessive posted...

2) As soon as they're gone, he beats the shit out of her for almost getting him in trouble.

I know dude I know. Ill try my best.
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DrProfessor posted...

friend

DrProfessor posted...

I dont even know where specifically in Florida she lives

DrProfessor posted...

ima contact her family on instagram

If she isn't willing to leave the guy, nothing you do will help.
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