Current Events > Is physical violence on objects a form of domestic abuse?

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AeroFlash15
07/15/18 1:13:23 PM
#1:


Honestly curious on CE's thoughts regarding this

https://www.twitter.com/Mort3mer/status/1018355267778445312

Reading the image in the OP immediately had me call bullshit, but I was looking at the responses for some perspective on this. Can't really say I agree with most of them, but it can be an issue depending on the person.
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Nomadic View
07/15/18 1:14:19 PM
#2:


Yes, if done as a form of intimidation.
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meestermj
07/15/18 1:16:57 PM
#3:


Nomadic View posted...
Yes, if done as a form of intimidation.

This.
I got a punching bag for my birthday. So whenever I'm having anger issues I hit the bag for a bit.
Whether that's general anger at life, my friebds/family, or whatever.
It is better to slam a door to vent that anger onto something, than it is to bottle it up.

However finding an actual healthy vent (running, punching bag, various exercise, cleaning, etc) is the best.
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WheezinEd
07/15/18 1:19:51 PM
#4:


meestermj posted...

It is better to slam a door to vent that anger onto something, than it is to bottle it up.


This has been proven false time and time again.
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meestermj
07/15/18 1:24:16 PM
#5:


WheezinEd posted...
meestermj posted...

It is better to slam a door to vent that anger onto something, than it is to bottle it up.


This has been proven false time and time again.

There's a difference between bottling anger up, and letting it go.
Sitting calmly for 20 minutes while distracting yourself is the best method (empirically). But most often people will stew and think about the cause of their anger, which only fuels it.

As someone who has had and conquered anger issues, stewing is far far worse.

Edit: also worth noting, frustration and anger are too very different emotions.
Slamming a door because you're frustrated is much less harmful than slamming a door in true anger.
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GameGodOfAll
07/15/18 1:25:44 PM
#6:


Yes it can be. It's traumatic as hell if someone is throwing stuff, punching walls and destroying the place you live. It's obviously not on the same level as beating up your significant other, but you shouldn't have to put up with it. Also depending on the context, if they are doing that as a response to being in an argument or something, that is a massive sign they are unbalanced and dangerous.

A lot of people just think of domestic abuse as beating someone up, but it comes in multiple forms. Context is important. Letting out anger is healthy, but are you losing it over a frustrating video game or computer problem? To what degree? Is it caused by a disagreement with your family? Slamming doors is some childish bullshit, bit not necessarily abuse. If you're pounding your fist on a table, are you doing so to shut the other person up with intimidation? An implication is all it takes.

Main take away is it's not black and white. Very tricky stuff and goes on a case by case basis. Just keep an open mind and don't write it off because it doesn't fit your conventional portrayal of what is domestic abuse.
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CyricZ
07/15/18 1:36:15 PM
#7:


GameGodOfAll posted...
A lot of people just think of domestic abuse as beating someone up, but it comes in multiple forms

Understatement of the new millenium.
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AeroFlash15
07/15/18 1:51:42 PM
#8:


Was expecting troll replies, but pleasantly surprised.

Obviously there's more to domestic abuse than physical aggression towards people, but my issue when people address this stems from equating any sort of physical outlet towards any non person as a big issue, even if it's just a once and awhile thing to let anger or frustration out.

The context and scenario are key factors (e.g. leaving the room and punching something after losing an argument with a SO vs throwing objects or slamming something, usually to make a loud noise, to intimidate). Now one could make an argument that the example bolded is also domestic violence, especially if it's a practical shouting contest; but, in this scenario, the exiting party acknowledges they "lost" and in the wrong by leaving, but would likely hit something when they're out of sight or as they leave as an indication that they're not entirely ready to come to terms with it.

What I'm trying to get across is that sometimes people are spontaneous and impulsive with how they handle their anger, but are still within a rational enough thought process as to not exert it in a way they'll regret. Some want to let it out, but it certainly doesn't mean you would hurt someone otherwise.
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meestermj
07/15/18 1:53:58 PM
#9:


AeroFlash15 posted...
The context and scenario are key factors (e.g. leaving the room and punching something after losing an argument with a SO

This can be bad, and has been proven as such. However contact matters.
In the study done regarding punching bags the group doing it as a distraction and focusing solely on the act were less angry afterwords.
The group that thought about their SO/the cause of their anger during the act were just as or more angry afterwords.
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Daffadilio
07/15/18 1:56:11 PM
#10:


I was told by a cop that if they were called in a domestic abuse charge, even if no one had been hit, if things were broken, they would arrest someone. Like the tweet said, it counts under the law.
Theres a difference in slamming the door as you leave someone while mad (moving away from them), screaming into a pillow (in a separate room from them), or punching a punching bag in the garage to vent anger compared to throwing dishes in front of the person youre mad at, punching a hole in the wall in their vicinity, pounding in the table whenever they talk. Even if its not done purposely to intimidate, its threatening to the other person. They are in harms way if you cannot control yourself and your anger to the effect that you have to immediately damage something. Im not necessarily saying a person that does that will hit another person, just that they are not in control enough to not be a risk (throw a dish on the ground but shards bounce back, kid walks by into the line of fire by accident, etc)
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GameGodOfAll
07/15/18 2:29:51 PM
#12:


Hairistotle posted...
This is insane. Since when does gender and abuse have anything to do with slamming a door when you're pissed off? The only one I know who even does this is my mother.

Gender?
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BalisticWarri0r
07/15/18 2:55:54 PM
#13:


WheezinEd posted...
meestermj posted...

It is better to slam a door to vent that anger onto something, than it is to bottle it up.


This has been proven false time and time again.

Citation needed.
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