Current Events > N.C. man kills his wife because he didn't want her to suffer from severe...

(+) Yeah! (+)

....dementia. IIrc they haven't decided if they are going to charge him with anything.

https://www.insideedition.com/north-carolina-man-74-admits-killing-dementia-stricken-wife-save-her-living-caged-animal-44717

I'm fine with euthanasia.
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Good for him
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As someone who has watched two grandparents suffer from alzheimers and dementia, I'd have a really hard time finding the man guilty.
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My dad has parkinsons and is already suffering from bad memory loss... if someone tries to hurt him im gonna explode
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frozenshock posted...

My dad has parkinsons and is already suffering from bad memory loss... if someone tries to hurt him im gonna explode

what does that have to do with this story? the guy was her husband

fair next if she said she wanted that

otherwise not cool, imo

Fam_Fam posted...

fair next if she said she wanted that

otherwise not cool, imo

Did she really want it?

Idk. It's hard to say, I mean she's not exactly here to testify anymore. A few years ago there was a judge in Canada who killed his partially paralyzed wife. At first he denied killing her but then he said that he wanted to help her commit suicide because she was suffering so much.

Turns out he wanted to get rid of her to live with his mistress.

Idk. But I mean, read this:

Mansfield told police he hid the gun from Phyllis as she walked toward him, and once she was close, he raised the gun to her chest and fired twice, the Advance wrote.

That sounds more like murder than assisted suicide, no? I mean I wasn't there, but...

CwebbMichSac4 posted...

what does that have to do with this story? the guy was her husband

Well in my mind when someone close to me has this kind of problem my natural instinct is to protect the person and do everything I can to help with daily activities.

Putting two bullets in their chest... I can't even imagine. But that's what that guy did to his wife.
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frozenshock posted...

That sounds more like murder than assisted suicide, no? I mean I wasn't there, but...

I can see hiding the gun to keep them calm, but yeah this is iffy.
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fair, n-

Mansfield told police he hid the gun from Phyllis as she walked toward him, and once she was close, he raised the gun to her chest and fired twice, the Advance wrote.

>_> he assisted her suicide by literally shooting her? wtf
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i'm all for death with dignity, but there's the proper channels to help someone but not through acting on own to put someone out of misery :(.
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this just sounds like someone deciding for the victim to "end their misery". fuck this man. he should have talked to her about it before hand.

DavidWong posted...

fair, n-

Mansfield told police he hid the gun from Phyllis as she walked toward him, and once she was close, he raised the gun to her chest and fired twice, the Advance wrote.

>_> he assisted her suicide by literally shooting her? wtf

Yeah. I mean he basically just gift-wrapped the case for the prosecutor with that declaration. Imagine him using assisted suicide as a defense and then the jury hears that he said this to the cops.
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There is nothing good about this. He shouldnt be able to just take a life on a whim
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Godnorgosh posted...

Dementia is no joke. My grandmother's health and cognitive abilities have been gradually declining for years up until now, when she's alive but basically can't move, talk, or do anything.

If it were me facing that, I'd rather just be shot dead.

My grandpa's uncle hung himself in his barn when he found out he had it, and my grandpa always told his kids that he would kill himself if he ever got it as well. When he got sick, everyone hid the diagnosis from him so he wouldn't go through with it.

That disease really needs to get cured asap. It's so fucking cruel.
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Godnorgosh posted...

Dementia is no joke. My grandmother's health and cognitive abilities have been gradually declining for years up until now, when she's alive but basically can't move, talk, or do anything.

If it were me facing that, I'd rather just be shot dead.

It's tough. I know.

But... can we really make this decision for another person? I understand it's a difficult moral question. But I really don't think we have the right to.

The problem is that taking care of someone who is losing their independence is a lot of work. It's hard. It's frustrating. And people with dementia can have personality changes too. Someone who was always super sweet can become aggressive and be like "don't touch me!" when you try to help. It's hard.

These kind of stories appear in the news once in a while.

Sometimes I wonder... who was the killer trying to save? How much did the hardships in taking care of the person play in the decision to end their life?
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What if we cure dementia tomorrow?
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That's harsh. I would not want to be the one in charge of dealing with that case.

Godnorgosh posted...

frozenshock posted...

But... can we really make this decision for another person? I understand it's a difficult moral question. But I really don't think we have the right to.

No, we really can't justifiably do that, which is why these things need to be communicated beforehand. If a person in sound condition says that in the case of dementia s/he would like to die, that should always be an option. It's primarily the stigma against assisted suicide that leads to unfortunate scenarios like this one.

Well, there's a religious / conservative stigma about it that's for sure. I'm a catholic myself but that doesn't influence my political positions at all (I'm usually more of a centrist on social issues but I'm certainly not an anti-abortion conservative)

But if there's one thing that makes me hesitate about assisted suicide, it's this...

I mean, let's say I sign a document saying that if I am starting to lose my memory with dementia and become unable to take care of myself, I would want to die.

Obviously, at the moment I sign it, I really mean it.

But we're not machines... I mean, it's possible to be 100% sure of something, but eventually get doubts, then change your mind, then change it back.

I mean it's just tough. The person said beforehand that they wanted to die. But do they really still want it? Did they change their mind and are no longer physically capable of communicating it or maybe no longer able to understand what it means?

It's hard to say.

Apparently, when they interview people who survive suicide attempts (there was a "study" done at San Francisco where they interviewed people who survived jumps form the bridge), it seems like a lot of them changed their minds the moment they jumped. Like, they were super certain they wanted to die, but once they jumped and once they couldn't change their minds, they said at that moment they felt immediate regret.

(here's an article about it: http://www.businessinsider.com/many-suicides-are-based-on-an-impulsive-decision-2014-8 I think it's too bad that they use the word "impuslive" in the title because it's more than just impulsivity, I mean to go all the way to the bridge and all you have to have been thinking about it and planning it... so it's not necessarily just a heat-of-the-moment-impulse... but meh)

I think there's something instinctive in us that pushes us to want to be alive.

Man, I'm just rambling... my post is way too long. I think it's too late at night and I'm too tired to think about things like that. But at the same time, I mean... there's something unfair about forcing someone who is suffering tremendously to continue to suffer when there is no hope that things will get better. Idk it's not easy.
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The decision wasn't his to make. If his wife had talked to him about it and made actual plans then that might be different, but he took it upon himself and that's basically murder.

iHuman posted...

What if we cure dementia tomorrow?

Also this. We're closer than ever.
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closer than ever isn't really saying anything because we've never been close. dementia is like cancer, it has way too many causes and variants to outright cure it
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thronedfire2 posted...

closer than ever isn't really saying anything because we've never been close. dementia is like cancer, it has way too many causes and variants to outright cure it

Do we even know what causes it though?

I mean, I heard a lot about stem cell research. Apparently Nancy Reagan became a proponent of it when the former president had alzheimer's because it appears it might help.

But my (limited) understanding is that stem cells might help replace lost tissue, no? So theoretically it could repair the brain or restore parts of the brain that were lost to atrophy, no? I think that's what it was.

But say we do this... we repair the brain. I mean, we haven't really cured what caused the brain to deteriorate in the first place, no?
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iHuman posted...

What if we cure dementia tomorrow?

The damage it's already caused is probably not reversible.

frozenshock posted...

thronedfire2 posted...

closer than ever isn't really saying anything because we've never been close. dementia is like cancer, it has way too many causes and variants to outright cure it

Do we even know what causes it though?

I mean, I heard a lot about stem cell research. Apparently Nancy Reagan became a proponent of it when the former president had alzheimer's because it appears it might help.

But my (limited) understanding is that stem cells might help replace lost tissue, no? So theoretically it could repair the brain or restore parts of the brain that were lost to atrophy, no? I think that's what it was.

But say we do this... we repair the brain. I mean, we haven't really cured what caused the brain to deteriorate in the first place, no?

it's mostly caused by proteins in the brain killing brain cells and the connections in the brain that control memory
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My grand Ma had Parkinson. She was lost about 10 years before her life ended. She was bedridden and unable to communicate for the last four years. If it was my parents or my siblings, Idk. I can't blame the guy.
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I can understand the context but the way he did it seemed a little too premeditated on only one side.

Either way I don't want euthanasia to be romanticized any more than it already is
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This isn't euthanasia
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People who want their loved ones to die quickly with the least amount of suffering DON'T shoot them in the chest....

If a shooter aims anywhere else besides the head, that's not a mercy kill.
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Questionmarktarius posted...

iHuman posted...

What if we cure dementia tomorrow?

The damage it's already caused is probably not reversible.

our only hopes as a human race is if we ever cure any disease or condition. others won't have to suffer. the world will be free from suffering and that would be great.
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Dementia Robbed Grandmother of Names and Faces, but Not the Words to 'You Are My Sunshine'

One of the related articles. Ugh what a depressing way to start the day.
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CwebbMichSac4 posted...

IIrc they haven't decided if they are going to charge him with anything.

The article you posted says he was charged with murder. And already plead guilty last week to manslaughter.