Current Events > 14 Things Straight Girls Will Never Understand About Gay Guys

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https://www.mtlblog.com/opinions/14-things-straight-girls-will-never-understand-about-gay-guys

1. We don't want to be your "gay best friend."
2. We don't know (or care) if that outfit looks good on you.
3. We aren't hooking up all the time.
4. We don't want to hear about your guy problems.
5. We don't like to be called "so cute" when we're with our boyfriends.
6. We don't want you to be our "f** hag" and party with us.
7. We don't want to hear you complain about how "all the good ones are gay."
8. We don't need you to stand up for us.
9. We aren't "one of the girls."
10. We don't want to give you sex tips. Seriously.
11. We don't want to be set up with "that gay guy" you know.
12. We don't all watch RuPaul's Drag Race.
13. And we don't all love Beyonce and Lady Gaga
14. No, we don't want to make out with you.

4. We don't want to hear about your guy problems.
5. We don't like to be called "so cute" when we're with our boyfriends.
6. We don't want you to be our "f** hag" and party with us.
7. We don't want to hear you complain about how "all the good ones are gay."

I don't consider the entire list serious problems, but these four points in particular have actually been annoying for me in the past.

Most of my hetero friends have been women and sometimes their reactions have been really absent minded in regards to LGBT interactions, and frankly men in general. I understand part of that is to be expected (they're not LGBT), but there have been times when they were acting straight up stupid with stereotypes.

Like it's sad how many women don't realize issues 4, 6 and 7 can often be related to their bad luck with dating men. I've had lady friends who would gush to me about how they can't keep a man interested and they can never find the good ones. Coincidentally, they usually had behaviors that were both chasing off the high quality men and also leading them to hook up with assholes as time convenient alternatives. You could explain it to these women and they just wouldn't grasp what rudimentary things they needed to change to improve their dating luck. It's almost always men who are messing everything up or are too confusing. The women changing themselves was typically out of the question. Sometimes all I could do was just give up and nod sympathetically.

My personal favorite response: "Well thanks, but you're a gay man...you couldn't understand why I have problems dating straight men".

No see, I do actually have some insight there. I'm a gay man, they're straight men, but there's some significant crossover believe it or not. At the end of the day most gay men still have way more personal experience with male issues than any woman could truthfully claim to have. Because we've actually lived through many of them ourselves and we're more capable of relating to straight men who have also had those experiences.

I mean, if you're a woman constantly complaining about a lack of "good men" in your life and your dating history is a repetitive collection of chasing guys who's natures/prospects conflict with the concept of relationship commitment...that's a huge red flag even gay men can see from Mars. And that's not all we can see. For example, if you're always hanging out with your hot looking gay male besties...predict the amount of straight men interested in approaching you to plummet (issue #6). You know why? Because they think you already have a boyfriend. Or they figure the guy sitting next to you is the better looking competition they can't beat. As a fellow man, albeit gay, I can still grasp why that's intimidating or a complete turn off for eligible straight men. As ironic as it sounds, there's even super exceptional hot guys who won't even bother to approach a certain gal if she's already got male company. It is what it is. At the end of the day, most men want an easy path to approach and it makes sense from their side of the experience. Just accept it.

If you're a woman desperate for a man, STOP-DESIST-DO NOT DO #6 ALL THE TIME. It does NOT up your chances of meeting the right man. It can inadvertently kill your dating marketability. I know, as a gay man I have unfortunately witnessed it happen many times.
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CiIantro posted...

12. We don't all watch RuPaul's Drag Race.

Well that is just not true
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ClockworkHare posted...

4. We don't want to hear about your guy problems.
5. We don't like to be called "so cute" when we're with our boyfriends.
6. We don't want you to be our "f** hag" and party with us.
7. We don't want to hear you complain about how "all the good ones are gay."

I don't consider the entire list serious problems, but these four points in particular have actually been annoying for me in the past.

Most of my hetero friends have been women and sometimes their reactions have been really absent minded in regards to LGBT interactions, and frankly men in general. I understand part of that is to be expected (they're not LGBT), but there have been times when they were acting straight up stupid with stereotypes.

Like it's sad how many women don't realize issues 4, 6 and 7 can often be related to their bad luck with dating men. I've had lady friends who would gush to me about how they can't keep a man interested and they can never find the good ones. Coincidentally, they usually had behaviors that were both chasing off the high quality men and also leading them to hook up with assholes as time convenient alternatives. You could explain it to these women and they just wouldn't grasp what rudimentary things they needed to change to improve their dating luck. It's almost always men who are messing everything up or are too confusing. The women changing themselves was typically out of the question. Sometimes all I could do was just give up and nod sympathetically.

My personal favorite response: "Well thanks, but you're a gay man...you couldn't understand why I have problems dating straight men".

No see, I do actually have some insight there. I'm a gay man, they're straight men, but there's some significant crossover believe it or not. At the end of the day most gay men still have way more personal experience with male issues than any woman could truthfully claim to have. Because we've actually lived through many of them ourselves and we're more capable of relating to straight men who have also had those experiences.

I mean, if you're a woman constantly complaining about a lack of "good men" in your life and your dating history is a repetitive collection of chasing guys who's natures/prospects conflict with the concept of relationship commitment...that's a huge red flag even gay men can see from Mars. And that's not all we can see. For example, if you're always hanging out with your hot looking gay male besties...predict the amount of straight men interested in approaching you to plummet (issue #6). You know why? Because they think you already have a boyfriend. Or they figure the guy sitting next to you is the better looking competition they can't beat. As a fellow man, albeit gay, I can still grasp why that's intimidating or a complete turn off for eligible straight men. As ironic as it sounds, there's even super exceptional hot guys who won't even bother to approach a certain gal if she's already got male company. It is what it is. At the end of the day, most men want an easy path to approach and it makes sense from their side of the experience. Just accept it.

If you're a woman desperate for a man, STOP-DESIST-DO NOT DO #6 ALL THE TIME. It does NOT up your chances of meeting the right man. It can inadvertently kill your dating marketability. I know, as a gay man I have unfortunately witnessed it happen many times.

im a straight male, and i probably would not approach women who are with men. you don't know who is dating who, and i'm generally worried about (a) offending a bf, or (b) getting into a bad situation with guys who are interested in her and also trying to get with her

Fam_Fam posted...

im a straight male, and i probably would not approach women who are with men. you don't know who is dating who, and i'm generally worried about (a) offending a bf, or (b) getting into a bad situation with guys who are interested in her and also trying to get with her

That's not uncommon despite what media portrays.

It might seem like men in general are thirsty as fuck and prowling around for every attractive woman they can find (that's the popular stereotype), but it's not the actual case. For example, in western nations like the US the amount of men who make a habit of asking out every hot chick on sight make up a very small percentage of the male populous. They're the horndogs of the population; OF COURSE they're going to approach every decent looking woman they can find and it can make it seem like it's all men doing that because a horny guy is always asking random women out in his radius. But in reality it's only a small portion of men.

A larger majority of men prefer to "wait for the right moment" to ask an interesting woman out. They're typically looking for that easy, non-adversarial moment to do it. Because, like you mentioned, they don't want to risk asking the woman out at an awful time and get shot down. Or worse, branded an annoying creep. That's a bummer, a social hazard, and a missed opportunity to connect with someone they're interested in. She could be really engaged in a phone convo, she could be hanging with close friends uninterested in anything else at the moment, she could have had a stressful disaster at work that an average man can't instantly fix, she could be having irritating pains that just flat out make regular introductions and conversation not a priority...and those first impressions are super important. Women have their own lives going on and there's a bunch of inopportune hassles that could turn a guy's innocent approach into more annoying shit hitting the fan. The majority of men know this and instead aim for "a right time". In other words: an easy moment to approach that has minimal risk to backfire.

And there's even a small subset of men, from all ranges of attractiveness (ugly, average, hot) who just flat out never bother approaching women for long or never at all. We just don't pay much attention to them because society assumes the ugly are destined to be single, the average ones aren't significant enough to watch, and the hot ones MUST have a girlfriend somewhere or the universe will collapse. No really, there are some incredibly gorgeous looking straight guys who for whatever reason never focus on dating women as a life goal. They could be super into their careers, ideologically oblivious about female attention, they're more into their bro time or family, or they can be practically asexual as far as urges to date. All these reasons can also be applied to exceptional women with the same behavior. No surprise, it happens with men too. Guys can also get so enveloped in their own lives, they're not paying attention to what chicks are checking them out or even care.

3 distinct subsets of men as far as attractions to women.
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15. why gay white men feel the need to appropriate black culture
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Lmao these are all wrong. I know I know stereotypes omg but 9/10 gay dudes I ever meet or work with fit into all those categories. Emotional, over dramatic, gossip happy, hooking up with different dudes every other night, obsessed with fashion etc ect

CiIantro posted...

And we don't all love Beyonce and Lady Gaga

hey man Beyonce is great. Idgaf about Gaga though
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CiIantro posted...

3. We aren't hooking up all the time

lol
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Wow what a dumb list
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CiIantro posted...

9. We aren't "one of the girls."

arent most of them?
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We re queens but not one of the girls cuz dats stereotype m I rite

Some of these are sound. However many of them, seem like this dude is just anti-Social in general. I am not guy and my female friends as me if things look good on them. Before I became a hermit I would ask by female friends if what I had on looked nice.
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Stop being friendly to gay guys, straight women, all you're doing is annoying them
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Zodd3224 posted...

Stop being friendly to gay guys, straight women, all you're doing is annoying them

yes, we should alienate people based on their sexual orientation. that's a good plan.

lmao
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CiIantro posted...

11. We don't want to be set up with "that gay guy" you know

This is the only real irritating one

No I'm not attracted to every other gay guy and no I don't want you to set me up with the one other gay person you know
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These lists are so obnoxious. It makes it like every group of people is a hive mind.
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I am confused on what a "f** hag" is supposed to be
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ROBANN_88 posted...

I am confused on what a "f** hag" is supposed to be

A girl who hangs out with a gay man. Term is from ugly chicks who would hang out.

And I hate lists like this these seem so combative and whiny. And I say this as a gay man.

A blind set up is the only one I dont like, to much pressure especially if Im not attracted

Fam_Fam posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

Stop being friendly to gay guys, straight women, all you're doing is annoying them

yes, we should alienate people based on their sexual orientation. that's a good plan.

whoosh
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Zodd3224 posted...

Fam_Fam posted...

Zodd3224 posted...

Stop being friendly to gay guys, straight women, all you're doing is annoying them

yes, we should alienate people based on their sexual orientation. that's a good plan.

whoosh

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Zodd3224 posted...

Stop being friendly to gay guys, straight women, all you're doing is annoying them

I generally prefer female friends tbh.
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