Board 8 > Kira and Arria play Oregon Trail

(+) Yeah! (+)

Alright, haven't played this in literal decades. Might make it to Oregon, might die of dysentery

First three people to request it gets a spot on the wagon!
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Which Oregon Trail is it?
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Give me dysentery plz.
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It's Oregon Trail 5

And we have our first person! How do you want your name to be? StifledSilence? (Not sure how many letters it will allow) I might have to go with Stifled or Silence, or something else if you like
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Sure I'll join
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nominate Theo72
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Sweet, so we're gonna have:

StifledSilence
Zyxyz0
Theo72

all aboard the wagon.

We'll probably play in a few hours, so just come back in a bit for updates.
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I guess I didn't ask directly...

Ah well, I won't end up drowning that way! :)
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If we play twice, we'll add you to the next wagon!
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Gohda-san
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okay we're playing, and I misunderstood Arria earlier. I thought there were four slots + you, but there's actually five slots + you! So Lolo, you're in. Mega Mana, we'll put in Gohda-san for a future game, and he'll be our chef in our hearts :)
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Welcome to Kira & Arria play Oregon Trail 5th Edition. I am Arria your benevolent mistress of mayhem. Kira will be playing she has played Oregon Trail games in the past but not this edition. Several notes before we start.

My copy of the game absolutely loathes the fishing minigame so that will not be played today.

Kira is trying to keep everyone alive things however will happen

Our itinerary for this playthrough will be the classic 1848 Independence to Oregon City route.

Kira has decided to be a pharmacist adventurer.

We will be traveling in a luxurious Conestoga wagon

Our party is skilled at Medical, Botany, Animals, Carpentry, Cooking, Sewing, Spanish

Kira has decided that we all get one skill to bring to the table, she has headcannoned the following skills to the following people

Kira age 35 (Medical/Botany)

Arria age 25(Animals/farming)

Lolo age 30(Carpentry)

Silence age 18(Cooking)

Theo72 age 30(Sewing)

Zyxyz0 age 20(Spanish)

We have $1650 lets go spend it on hookers and blow!
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The children do not amuse Kira. Honestly the cutscenes in this game are almost painful anymore.
We are going to the stables first lets see what Kira wants to get. She thinks oxen are her best bet and has purchased 8 and 1 yoke for them. Guns are up next 2 rifles and 2 sheaths with 50 boxes of bullets.
Now we are wagoning she bought 1 axle 1 tongue 2 wheels and 1 cover.
Drygoods for food we are having some trouble deciding how to purchase food. Real world logic versus game mechanics. She leans very far into game mechanics where as I am more real world logic. Also having a 10 lb bag of beans in my cupboard for use in demonstration is not my most shining moment of awesome. The sickeningly cheerful music is beginning to grate on both of us. She decided to get some mole asses to flavor our food look forward to that in your mouth later. Any of you touch my 1 lb of tea I will bite your nipples off. We have decided to procure a second wagon in order to combat Kiras weight issues. We are all wearing blouses because they are cheaper than shirts, but at least we all get multiple pairs of pants and a skirt each!

Okay shopping is done and we are ready to head out. I wont bore you with more details unless it is requested. I will also post the diary once we complete the game.
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Kira has decided to speak with some NPCs in Westport and dick around in town for a bit. The snakeoil salesman is still just this side of too creepy to live. She has decided to buy nails incase we need to crucify any cattle thieves. She has been elected captian and has been traumatized by one of the stock images on that screen. She thinks we need to kill him since he has a porn stache and is pointing a knife at her. she finds it convenient that we just bought crucifying nails.

Randomly Zyxyz0 just died of cholera. No lead up no logic just dead RIP you unpronounceable bastard you.

Silence your death by river has been predicted by our great overlord.
We are cocking the wagon and floating. She would like to change her prior prediction to Lolo, Silence you are in the clear for now. So the NPCs are too stupid to live. They suggest that they arent sure which of the roads lead to the west. One of them is actually called the Oregon Trail.

Another cutscene and she has decided that the stupid little kid needs to not be allowed around animals as now both a horse and a snake have tried to murder him.

It privately amuses me that for someone as antipeople as Kira can be she spends a lot of time talking to random people in games.

And our first hill! and she doubleteamed and got over it with no trouble at all.

She is now trying to throw people in jailhouse rock

Thank you Lolo for repairing our broken axle!

Fire on the prairie and the dumbass kid tried to get eaten by a wolf.

We took the 3 crossings route no predictions of death since it is a cake walk.

At Rocky Ridge we lost some supplies including 5 lbs of coffee beans get in the dirt and get me every last bean damnit those are valuable, and Mama needs her fix.

She wants me to just include a picture of the Ford logo here

The Wikihow images in the cut scenes are really getting to her.

I think the cutscenes are giving Kira some trauma.

We are celebrating the 4th
Trading has not been going well for poor Kira everybody wants such ridiculous things
I have tea again! My withdrawals are better already.

I am shitting out all my holes so I get the nice drugs.
Good news I no longer have dysentery!
We made it to Fort Boise.
Theo you and Silence are now wearing a random persons underwear that we found in a wagon.

Theo take off your underwear it gave Silence cholera. We have made poor choices

Well Silence the rest and laudanum took away your disease.

Today we bury Kira who drowned in that terrible mingame related death. She will be missed.
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Alright, this is Kira/Eerieka again. Please disregard if Arria said anything too shocking/rude. She can be that way sometimes. For what it's worth, I reloaded after that death and then decided to just take the toll road because fuck that Dalles Minigame. From the reload, nothing of interest happened. The wagon tipped over approximately 1 million times and we lost a lot of supplies, but no one got sick or died! Well, except Zyxyz who died five days into the journey.
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