Board 8 > Getting a Divorce playthrough topic

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MrGreenonion
09/13/17 10:41:47 PM
#53:


velocycloraptor posted...
so it was gmuns fault...made her realize she doesn't wanna deal with anyone else in the house

Sounds like the answer is for Santa to adopt GMUN and be a single dad
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TheRock1525
09/13/17 10:45:54 PM
#54:


And then he will be known as GSUN.
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MZero11
09/13/17 10:58:44 PM
#55:


mnkboy907 posted...
MZero11 posted...
also

Eddv posted...
I am 100% its because GMUN slept with his wife and will hear no different.

Oh please. It's much more likely GMUN would've slept with Santa.


maybe he slept with both
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ShatteredElysium
09/13/17 11:14:36 PM
#56:


Sorry to hear that man.

A similar thing happened to me within the last year. I'd been with her for 9 years and married for 6. We had bought a house together in the last year. We both just kind of realized we weren't happy together and didn't love each other anymore. No real arguments, we had just virtually been living as room mates for the last year together. She also sprang the reverse on me of what happened to you; she suddenly wanted kids when we had always been on the same page of neither of us ever wanting kids. Although that wasn't a deciding factor.

I moved out, we remain friends and as far as I can tell we are both a lot happier for it. First few months were rough but it got better. We still aren't actually divorced but I'm sure we will go through that process at some point soon.


As a sidenote, the girl I was with before my wife. The reason we split was because she wanted kids and I did not. We were happy together and had never once had an argument in ~3-4 years together. The kid thing was a deal breaker though. She had a kid like 1-2 years later so everything worked out.
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mnkboy907
09/13/17 11:38:23 PM
#57:


MrGreenonion posted...
velocycloraptor posted...
so it was gmuns fault...made her realize she doesn't wanna deal with anyone else in the house

Sounds like the answer is for Santa to adopt GMUN and be a single dad

Santa becomes the Daddy of Light?
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JonThePenguin
09/13/17 11:43:33 PM
#58:


SantaRPidgey posted...
aside from the actual relationship itself, life seems to kind of be the same except for an annoying voice in my head that tells me I don't deserve love and that I should kill myself that seems to go off almost hourly

Too be clear, I do think I deserve love, and am not suicidal, these thoughts seem to be involuntary mostly.

I remember this period from the prologue to my own divorce back in '09. It gets better. The voice goes away. Best wishes, man.
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Corrik
09/14/17 12:17:48 AM
#59:


Hope things get better. Sounds like a shitty situation. Keep your chin up.
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Vlado
09/14/17 2:59:29 AM
#60:


SantaRPidgey posted...
The tipping point was her coming to the realization this year that she doesn't want kids.

Whew, glad you're getting out then! It's very sad that so many Western women have been damaged by the media brainwashing to this extent. Sorry you happened upon one, too. Hopefully you find a better one soon.

If you don't want children, why even marry?! It's not like we're in an age where you can't have sex before getting married. It makes no sense. Marriage is to ensure a stable family of a loving mother and father for future children, nothing else.
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MZero11
09/14/17 3:03:56 AM
#61:


oh boy
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neonreaper
09/14/17 8:17:58 AM
#62:


MZero11 posted...
oh boy


don't even make posts like this, fart knocker
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Steiner
09/14/17 8:23:48 AM
#63:


SantaRPidgey posted...
The tipping point was her coming to the realization this year that she doesn't want kids. Kids have always been my primary goal in life (no jokes plx), and while I'm willing to entertain the thought of not having kids, she's not really willing to entertain the thought with me.


send her my way
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neonreaper
09/14/17 8:52:18 AM
#64:


SantaRPidgey posted...
neonreaper posted...
What happen!


It's hard to say from my perspective. My wife isn't happy, she doesn't foresee a way to be happy while staying with me. There have always been big swaths of personal differences between the two of us, and while I've never really saw them as a problem to our relationship, she currently sees them as unsustainable. The tipping point was her coming to the realization this year that she doesn't want kids. Kids have always been my primary goal in life (no jokes plx), and while I'm willing to entertain the thought of not having kids, she's not really willing to entertain the thought with me. The truth is our aspirations forked into opposite directions and it's hard to imagine a way to merge them again.

I wish there was a more clear cut answer but there really isn't. I'm kind of hoping she will change her mind before she goes through with this but signs are pointing to that not being the case.

I don't regret the time spent with her, the last 7 years have been the happiest time of my life, and even if it didn't turn into your typical prologue for the movie "UP" that we all have in our minds, it was still an incredible journey.


To some extent, if you haven't heard about love languages, I'd read up on them. I have major issues with the concept, but some ideas are good to understand. Essentially, your relationship provided you with things that made you feel happy and loved, but did not provide your wife with the same feelings.

There are a million other possibilities in play and that's really not for me to guess at. Relationships can be hard.
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EndOfDiscOne
09/14/17 9:17:48 AM
#65:


I can understand the not wanting kids now thing, because the older I get, the less I want kids. But I'm still willing to have them because otherwise that's not fair to my wife, and I was kid positive while we were dating. She's a better person than I am and deserves a happy life, plus I'm sure I'll love our kids once we have them.
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ChaosTonyV4
09/14/17 9:25:06 AM
#66:


Damn dude, I hoped this was a joke or an indie game when I saw this topic :(

What are you doing about the house? And you guys have dogs right? :/

Condolences, man. I've been married over 7 years also, and the idea of this happening is scary.
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SeabassDebeste
09/14/17 9:40:35 AM
#67:


EndOfDiscOne posted...
I can understand the not wanting kids now thing, because the older I get, the less I want kids. But I'm still willing to have them because otherwise that's not fair to my wife, and I was kid positive while we were dating. She's a better person than I am and deserves a happy life, plus I'm sure I'll love our kids once we have them.

Not to hijack, but since kids are obviously such a sensitive topic here - have you guys started trying?
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EndOfDiscOne
09/14/17 9:43:30 AM
#68:


SeabassDebeste posted...
EndOfDiscOne posted...
I can understand the not wanting kids now thing, because the older I get, the less I want kids. But I'm still willing to have them because otherwise that's not fair to my wife, and I was kid positive while we were dating. She's a better person than I am and deserves a happy life, plus I'm sure I'll love our kids once we have them.

Not to hijack, but since kids are obviously such a sensitive topic here - have you guys started trying?


Not really trying, but not preventing anymore either. It'll probably happen someday and I'm "okay" with it.
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SantaRPidgey
09/14/17 2:33:05 PM
#69:


Thanks everyone for the support in this topic, it's made me feel considerably better.


EndOfDiscOne posted...
I can understand the not wanting kids now thing, because the older I get, the less I want kids. But I'm still willing to have them because otherwise that's not fair to my wife, and I was kid positive while we were dating. She's a better person than I am and deserves a happy life, plus I'm sure I'll love our kids once we have them.


I mean this is how I would feel too, but I don't have to literally destroy my body to have kids for someone else so
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SantaRPidgey
09/15/17 1:23:18 PM
#70:


bumping this for neonreaper's sage advice
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werd
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HaRRicH
09/15/17 1:50:03 PM
#71:


Also curious about neon's advice. I've been wondering how he's doing over there but I didn't know how to ask.
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LeonhartFour
09/15/17 3:16:32 PM
#72:


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HaRRicH
09/15/17 3:33:29 PM
#73:


Oh...probably so.
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SantaRPidgey
09/15/17 3:38:46 PM
#74:


oh maybe

Listening to Mariah Carey Always be my Baby on repeat I think that's p healthy in my humble opinion.
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SantaRPidgey
09/15/17 3:46:04 PM
#75:


Totally overanalyzing the song too. Watching the video you just see one of the most beautiful girls in the world pledging her undying loyalty to this hypothetical person who left her. She has a smug look that says "who are you kidding, you'll be back for my undying love" but part of me wants to yell at her and say "You're Mariah Carey! You deserve so much better than this! It's the 90s and you're the most beautiful woman alive seamlessly converging pop and R&B"
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werd
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neonreaper
09/15/17 4:03:14 PM
#76:


well your current situation is shitty and it's going to probably be shitty for a while and it's going to feel shitty in different ways. It sucks to be the one that lags behind - it sounds like she wants out and you would be happy with things as they stand.

On her end, it's hard to figure out a way to dissolve the marriage. That's like a forever thing, a big deal, a government contract, wedding vows, maybe she changed her last name, etc. You guys grew apart and now she doesn't want kids. I guess I don't know which one followed the other, but, she either doesn't want your relationship and the kids thing is a way out. Or she doesn't want kids and it's why she grew distant. But, whatever.

In my situation, we tried counseling. And that can be excruciating when one person wants out. But it's useful to have relationship counseling in general, because you figure out a lot about what you want and how to figure out what someone else wants.

And as much as you might wanna work things out, if she's done... it's over. Trying to work things out will only drive resentment. It sucks for you, it sucks for her.

You're lucky you don't have a kid with her. I could probably fill 500 posts myself about getting divorced and having a kid. I suggest getting a mediator instead of lawyers, though a mediator will advise getting lawyers just to make sure everything in the agreement is good. Every shitty little disagreement in the divorce proceedings will dig up a whole lot of other emotional issues.

I'd also recommend a therapist. They can help with your dark thoughts and give you tools to succeed in future relationships.

Find friends that have gone through this, or groups online. It is useful to bounce ideas around and see what other people have done in their agreements, and how it worked out for them in practice. In your agreement, I would make sure everything is "testable". Anything based on discussions or notions can bite you in the ass. For instance, one couple agreed that they would recalculate child support if either person has a 10% change in salary. It didn't mention what the starting point is, so one person got 3 7% raises and the other wanted to recalculate, and it becomes a struggle.

I guess the next girl should probably be a rebound girl for you, that way some of your baggage gets left behind. If you watch porn every day, now's the time to stop.
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SeabassDebeste
09/15/17 4:13:32 PM
#77:


i didn't know that about you neon. really sorry that happened. stories like these terrify me about marriage and life.
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HaRRicH
09/15/17 4:15:47 PM
#78:


Sorry buddy, hang in there.
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foolm0r0n
09/15/17 4:16:15 PM
#79:


SantaRPidgey posted...
Totally overanalyzing the song too. Watching the video you just see one of the most beautiful girls in the world pledging her undying loyalty to this hypothetical person who left her. She has a smug look that says "who are you kidding, you'll be back for my undying love" but part of me wants to yell at her and say "You're Mariah Carey! You deserve so much better than this! It's the 90s and you're the most beautiful woman alive seamlessly converging pop and R&B"

The person is a metaphor for show business
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neonreaper
09/15/17 4:36:48 PM
#80:


me, I'm doing pretty good. there are still some stresses and stuff but I live in a nice house in a nice town with my girlfriend, her kids, my kid, and we play rock band and go to concerts, and have old person sex, and go on adventures, and we planted a tree to bury my old dead dog underneath. she's the best.

life was pretty awful in 2015 though. and that was following surgery and recovery, so really life just sucked 2011-2015 or so and if not for my kid I would have totally killed myself in an electrical fire
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SeabassDebeste
09/15/17 5:16:30 PM
#81:


I remember the surgery. Didn't realize that the personal life was suffering so badly at the time.

Looks like you're much further along in your playthrough than Santa though.
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SantaRPidgey
09/15/17 7:11:08 PM
#82:


Cant wait for the old person sex
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werd
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KommunistKoala
09/15/17 7:35:13 PM
#83:


that's new game+
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