Current Events > My mom is seeing things

(+) Yeah! (+)

This happened about a month ago but I felt like sharing the story.

I was at the grocery with my mom. Big mistake.

So we bought some powdered milk.

The girl at the register obviously had never seen powdered milk, so she kind of touched the bag to feel the strange texture.

She looked like she was 16 or something. That grocery has a lot of very young employees. Her behavior was not uncommon. I once bought a scented candle at the grocery and another girl at the register literally took the candle to her nose to smell it and she was like hmmm smells good.

Anyway, so as we're walking to the car my mom said that the girl obviously wanted me and her "caressing" the powdered milk was her way of showing me what she wanted to do to me. My mom was suggesting I go back and get her number and she kept pestering me about it the whole way home.

I'm 33. What the hell is wrong with my life.
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